Family Affair
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: He couldn't believe what he was seeing. That was Matty Clondon, the love of his life, and she had two identical twins, about two years younger than Harry, in tow. The girls were the spitting image of his cousin, Narcissa. Those had to be his kids.
1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black had just escaped Azkaban, and with a bit of temporary transfiguration, he was taking a casual stroll around King's Cross, hoping to get another glimpse at his godson before he went to Hogwarts to hunt down Peter Pettigrew. He had meant to watch Harry Potter, but something else caught his eye.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. That was Matty Clondon, the love of his life, and she had two identical twins, about two years younger than Harry, in tow. The girls were the spitting image of his cousin, Narcissa. Those had to be his kids. The questions was, how did he do anything about it, since he was supposed to be a crazed mass murderer?

He watched the blonde twins pushing their carts eagerly. They must be in their first year. Only first years had so much eagerness and so much anxiety about going to Hogwarts. The girl in the pink jumper said, "Merryn, stop pushing! Mummy said you weren't supposed to push!"

The girl in the black jumper gave a nervous smirk that made him think very much of his own smirk replied with a haughty, "Maëlle, I'm not pushing. Mummy said you're not supposed to make things up. It's called lying, and it's not good."

Sirius smirked to himself. The girl in black had definitely been pushing. Poor Matty had been saddled with two female incarnations of himself, or at least one. Maëlle looked like his side of the family in many ways, but she had an innocence about her that Sirius had never had. That had to come from her mother.

"Both of you, please, just behave," muttered Matty, with a tired pleading. "This is bad enough without you bickering and misbehaving. Save it for the train when someone else has to deal with you."

He almost laughed out loud at that. Pulling out a Muggle paper, Sirius hid behind it casually as his children and their mother disappeared into the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Harry was completely forgotten for the moment. As soon as Matty came back out of the platform, he formulated a plan on the spot. As she neared his location, he began to whistle their song, from back in their days at Hogwarts. She froze when she came level to him, the sound of the melody reaching her ears. Her eyes widened and she turned to face him. Sirius lowered the newspaper and jerked his head toward a side room that seemed empty. Perhaps it was curiosity, but she went without question, and he followed her in, whistling the whole way.

As soon as he closed the door, however, he turned to her and frowned.

"I've missed you, Matty."

Her silvery eyes were wide with some sort of strong, but unreadable emotion as she whispered, "Is it really you, Sirius?"

With a sad smile, he nodded.

She came a step closer, and for one wild moment, he thought she was about to kiss him. That is, until the palm of her hand made stinging impact with his face.

"You were always too good at that," he winced.

"That's for Lily and James, you heartless, cruel…" she spat at him angrily, bringing her hand up to hit him once more, but this time he saw it coming. He grabbed both of her wrists sharply, holding them firmly, but not tightly. He would never hurt her.

"Matty, please, that wasn't me. It was Peter!"

"Peter?" she laughed hollowly. "You mean that poor man you killed? The one who was our friend? Tell me, was I on your list to kill as well? Or was I just a means to the end of everyone I cared about?"

Sirius winced as though she had dealt him another physical blow.

"Did you always blame me? Wasn't there ever a moment you thought that I was innocent?"

And the flicker of shame and hurt he saw in her eyes was enough.

"Love, believe me, I never did any of this to hurt you, and I never intended for anyone to get hurt. I changed at the last moment. I thought Remus was the spy, and I thought Voldemort would never expect them to have used Peter as a secret-keeper. It never occurred to me at the time that the little worm would be the spy himself." Sirius shook his head tiredly. "I went to confront him as soon as I pieced it all together, but he was too quick. He must have known I would come. He cut off a finger and transformed, blowing up half the street to hide his getaway, knowing I would be blamed for the deaths, and sent away without a trial. There were Death Eaters in Magical Law Enforcement. I never had a chance."

"So how did you escape?" she whispered, obviously not sure if she believed him.

"It's a long story, and we can't discuss all of it here, but I've found him, Matty! I've found Pettigrew! He's at Hogwarts."

"Oh no," muttered Matty, worried, obviously no longer doubting him. "But Harry, and our girls… Oh, shit."

He very nearly smirked. Matty still had a mouth on her.

"I see being a mother hasn't sobered you up at all, darling."

"Yes, well, raising twins alone will do that to you," she spat at him bitterly.

"I didn't know they were coming," he said darkly. "If I had…"

"You wouldn't have done a damn thing differently, and you know it," she said with a sick sort of laugh. "You had to be in the thick of it, and that meant checking on everyone, and you know that once you knew what had happened to Lily and James your anger and guilt would have gotten to you, so even with knowing the twins were coming, you would have gone after Peter yourself on impulse anyway."

She was right, of course. Matty was always right.

"Well, yeah, I suppose. But I would have spent twelve years feeling guilty for that, rather than just vindictive at Peter."

"Then I'm sorry you didn't know," whispered Matty softly.

Gray eyes met silver and he realized the pain his imprisonment had truly caused her. Before he realized what was happening, tears were flowing down his face freely, and Matty, unable to properly embrace him with her wrists still in his grasp, pressed her body firmly against his and nuzzled her face into his chest.

After a few moments of standing like that, she stepped back cautiously.

"Better now?" she whispered, eyes wide and child-like.

"Better now," he muttered with a sad smile, kissing her forehead gently.

"I want to help you," she whispered.

"But you have a job, a life…"

"I write for the Quibbler," she snorted. "Xenophilius wouldn't notice if I suddenly disappeared for five years and popped up out of the blue. He'd thought I'd just taken a spontaneous vacation."

"And your friends, darling?" he implored. "Won't they come looking for you?"

Matty gave a hollow laugh that Sirius found rather unnerving.

"Love, the only friend I've got left who wasn't killed, disappeared, or thrown in jail during the war is Remus, and he's teaching at Hogwarts this year. He won't come looking for me."

Sirius nodded sadly and said, "How is Remus?"

Matty shrugged.

"He's been better, to be sure, but then we all have. But he's certainly been worse. He comes and plays with the girls at the better parts of the month." She paused for a moment, biting her lip and not meeting his eyes. "When they were little, they called him daddy. We explained as best as we could that he wasn't, but that just created more questions that I didn't know how to answer." Her eyes filled quickly with tears. "How do you tell your daughters that their daddy is in jail and doesn't know they exist, so he can't miss them or love them or anything?"

Sirius snapped. He let go of her wrists, hugged her tightly to him, and whispered, "We need to get out of King's Cross before my shoddy transfiguration job wears off. Can you Apparate us somewhere near Hogsmeade? I can find us a place to stay near there."

Eyes still filled with tears, Matty took his hand and turned on her heal, taking them from King's Cross station to a spot near the Shrieking Shack, which, as could be expected, was incredibly devoid of people, as there were no curious students to come touristing as of yet. Sirius gave her a sad smile and said, "Ah, yes, our first kiss," before transforming into a large, black hound and leading her off toward the shack with an eagerly wagging tail. With a sad, reminiscent smile, Matty followed him, reaching down to pet his head as she went.

Once inside the shack, he transformed back into himself, his real self, and Matty shrank back a little from the sight of him as the Azkaban-worn Sirius from the wanted posters. The sadness in her eyes was apparent, but she just nodded and said, "Well, you've looked a lot better, love, I'm not going to lie."

Sirius just ignored his looks for the moment. He wanted to talk about his daughters.

"C'mon, love, let's talk about something other than me. Firstly, why did you name our children after your crazy sisters?"

"Because," she said with a fidgety manner, "my crazy sisters died in the war, just a few days after you were taken to Azkaban."

"Oh, Matty," he whispered, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty. "If I had known, I wouldn't have asked, you know that…"

"I know," she whispered back, sitting on his lap on the four-poster bed he had just sat on. "And I know you didn't really think my sisters were crazy."

Actually, he did, but now was probably not the best of times to tell her that. In fact, there was probably never going to be a good time to tell her that. He would have to permanently amend his memories of them. At least they had nice names.

"Well, I can't complain too much," he mused. "They look just like my crazy cousin."

"Yeah," muttered Matty bitterly. "My children had to turn out the spitting image of my childhood enemy. That's what I get for falling for the Black Sheep."

He winced at that nickname. He had never liked it because it gave him a sort of eternal tie to his family, who he had happily denounced, and they had, seemingly, happily denounced him as well. If it wasn't for that stupid nickname, everyone would be happy. Probably his cousin Bella's doing, but he didn't want to think about his childhood at the moment. He had his children to think about.

"Tell me about them, please," he whispered, laying down on the bed and pulling Matty back with him, stroking her hair gently.

"Well," she said with a smirk, "I think Merryn is going to drive McGonagall up the wall in a very similar fashion to her father…"

Sirius smirked back.

"What, she's going to lay all the birds and make the cranky old bird jealous?"

Matty swatted him playfully with the back of her hand, but they knew exactly what Matty had meant. Merryn was playful, rash, and a tiny bit sadistic. She would have fit in with the heads of the Marauders back in the day. She was likely to be a bully if her sister couldn't mitigate things.

"Maëlle, on the other hand," Matty went on, "was the perfect child to raise. She is sweet, good-natured, a bit shy, and has a fabulous sense of justice. That girl can do just about everything perfectly except keep her sister in line."

"So basically," said Sirius, another smirk on his lips, "they're you and me to the core, except they ought not be shagging any time soon."

"Or ever," said Matty with a nod.

"Yeah, each other or any boys. Until I'm dead," muttered Sirius, thinking through the prospect of his offspring becoming the object of affection for some boy like Sirius had been in his school days, with pretty much only one thing on his mind, and that one thing had no place in real life outside the broom cupboard. His little girls would not have their hearts broken in such a way without consequences.

"Well, you know, Sirius, at the rate you're going, they could be off the hook pretty quick. Breaking out of Azkaban? On the run from dementors? Which will be surrounding Hogwarts this year, by the way, since the whole world thinks you're out to kill Harry."

Sirius shook his head helplessly and looked down at Matty, tears forming behind his eyes, brushing the hair gently out of her face before kissing her nose.

"I've missed you every day since I left and I've never stopped regretting leaving you."

Matty's pretty silver eyes filled with tears as well, and there were no more words. Twelve years apart, twelve years of no way to work through the complex web of emotions and insinuations, could not be worked through with words. They were worked through, instead, with kisses and touches. Clothes were not necessary for such discussions, in fact they were typically a hindrance, and both parties understood this, removing them as quickly as possible.

Sirius ran his hands hungrily along her bare skin, relishing in its smoothness under his rough hands. He trailed kisses along the body that had once been his to kiss like this whenever he wanted. It felt and tasted exactly as he remembered, just as good, just as sweet. The lips he had kissed so many times were just as warm and inviting as they had always been.

"I've missed your body," he muttered into her ear before running his tongue along the shell of it. "I've missed your taste. I've missed the feel of you wriggling under me like you're doing now. Merlin, I've missed you, Matty."

There was nothing she could say. Matty moaned as he finally moved his hands to cup her breasts, breasts that hadn't been touched by a man in far too long, in twelve years.

"Did you have someone while I was gone?" muttered Sirius as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck to her collarbone where he began to nip and nibble softly.

"N-no," she gasped. "Remus and I went on a couple of dates, but it was all wrong. There was never anyone for me b-b-but you."

He smirked against the skin of her breast, her left nipple caught firmly between his teeth. She was his. She would always be his. Even when she thought he was a crazed mass murderer responsible for the deaths of their best friends, she still couldn't be with anyone but him. She was his.

"I'm glad to see I still have that sort of power over you, darling," he murmured after releasing her nipple from the grasp of his teeth, which she whined at the loss of. "I'm glad to know you're still very much mine."

She whined louder this time, and not from loss, but rather from need and arousal as he mashed his pelvis against hers.

"I haven't forgotten, you know," he muttered, struggling himself to make coherent thoughts. "I can still satisfy you, I promise."

"I never doubted that," she gasped.

And yet she had doubted his innocence. If he wasn't so incredibly aroused, he would take that as a kind of insult. Right now, he needed her far too much to care. He wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that his sexual prowess never came into question, even when the thought he was a spy for Voldemort and a betrayer of his friends was still on the table. Really, neither thing should have ever been brought to question, but at least he was one for two. It could always be worse.

"There's so many things I want to do with you," he muttered, "and when I kill Peter and turn in his body, I'll have all the time in the world to do everything and anything I want to your gorgeous body, darling."

Matty moaned as he nipped and sucked at her throat, his fingers making their way between her legs.

"You'll have children to look after then."

"They're not babies," he muttered. "We won't be on call all night for feeding and stuff. And when they're away at Hogwarts we'll have so much time to ourselves…"

"Mmm… oh, Sirius, that's nice."

"Glad you think so, love," he muttered. "What would you like next?"

Her silver eyes met his gray ones hungrily.

"I want you, Sirius."

"That's not very specific, darling," he said with a smirk. "What do you want from me?"

"Unh, Sirius, please… I want… I need… Unh, I need you inside me, _please_!"

Yes, Sirius had missed this. For now, Peter could wait. For now, the world could wait. Right now, Matty Clondon was in his arms for the first time in twelve years and he was going to make her remember why she had become his lover in the first place. He had her writhing and whining now, but he wasn't going to be satisfied with that. He might be twelve years out of practice, but Sirius Black was going to prove he still knew how to make a girl scream.

Three and a half hours later, Sirius and Matty lay tangled up in each other, sweaty, exhausted, and completely sated. Sirius was holding her body against his as he languidly kissed her neck. She had her eyes closed in comfortable pleasure as she ran her fingers along the tattoos on his back, which were new. He had had a few on his chest, but he must have done the others himself while he was in jail. Twelve years of nothing else to do might do that to a man. But how had he done his own back? Sirius would never cease to amaze her.

"Sirius?" she whispered softly, nuzzling her face into his thin, skeletal neck.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm so sorry I doubted you."

"It's all right, love," he whispered. "I have you now, and I'm never letting go of you again."


	2. Getting Settled In

The next morning, Sirius awoke to the sound of an owl hooting. He groaned and hugged the body he was holding tighter to him. Whoever was writing to Matty could wait. She was his now.

"Sirius," she moaned, "I need to get that. It could be about the girls."

With a sigh, he snaked his arms from around her, but muttered, "Fine, go and get the letter, but you're coming right back to this bed to read it. I'm not missing holding you because of some stupid owl."

With a laugh, Matty got up and was back in less than a minute. He wrapped his arms possessively around her waist and snuggled his face into her stomach, not opening his eyes.

"Bad news?" he said as she perused the parchment.

"Not exactly, but it's not good," Matty admitted, petting his tangled hair with her free hand. "Remus rode the train over with the kids. He said a dementor was unleashed on the train. The girls are okay, but Harry passed out. There are going to be dementors stationed all around Hogwarts grounds."

"I could have guessed that," snorted Sirius.

"The girls were both Sorted into Gryffindor."

"Good girls," Sirius muttered.

"Snivellus is teaching."

"WHAT?" roared Sirius, his eyes flying open as he looked up into Matty's face. "That's not a funny joke, darling."

"I'm not joking, sweetheart," she said, very seriously. "Remus says Snivelly is teaching Potions."

"Greasy git and his damned chemistry set," Sirius muttered, resting his head against her lap again, snuggling against her stomach once more, but this time with open eyes. "At least he's not teaching them Dark Arts."

"I imagine Dumbledore's got a close eye on him," said Matty, amusement in her voice. "Nobody's died at Hogwarts since…"

They looked at each other. They didn't have to say a word about the incident. They both remembered it as though it was yesterday. Seventh year, Matty's best friend Mary MacDonald had been found by the pair of them on the way back from a midnight tryst, hanging from the ceiling of a major corridor, magically exsanguinated with her blood in a puddle at her feet. Sirius would never forget the hollow, lifeless eyes of what had been a sweet, lively girl. That night was when he had sworn to himself that he would do everything possible to protect Matty. It could have been her hanging from that ceiling.

"The war is over, Sirius," Matty whispered, as though sensing her lover's thoughts.

"Maybe," muttered Sirius, "but they're still out there, and so's he. Somewhere. Just waiting for the right time to regain power."

"You're paranoid," she snorted. "Must be all those years with the dementors."

"Probably," he agreed. "Care to take my mind off it, darling?"

"Mmm," she murmured as he began to trail his tongue up her torso. "You know I'd like to, Sirius, but I have to write back to Remus."

"Remus can wait," growled Sirius before biting lightly at her nipple.

"N-no, love I h-h-have to, oh, Merlin," she stuttered incoherently as he continued to trail his kisses up her body.

"No, Matty," purred Sirius softly. "Remus has had your attention for the last twelve years. You're _mine_ now. This isn't negotiable."

Several hours later, he let go of her long enough to allow her to reply and come right back to bed, where thy cuddled and kissed lazily, Matty catching him up on what had happened after he got taken away to Azkaban, and Sirius telling her of how he had escaped.

"The girls are going to write me," she muttered, "at some point, and Remus. What if Remus sees me in Hogsmeade? I'll need to get us food."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," muttered Sirius, rolling her on her back and holding himself over her. "Don't think so much, Matty. This is precious time right now."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his thin neck.

"Sirius, we can't just stay in bed all the time. We need to plan. You didn't break out of Azkaban to sleep with me; you broke out to bring justice to Peter. Not that I'm complaining," she added with a smirk.

"Mmm, and I'll admit that this is certainly an added bonus for breaking out," he breathed as he trailed his teethed gently down her cleavage. "You still taste fabulous, by the way."

At this Matty froze and looked down at him, a sad look on her face. Sirius looked up at her and frowned.

"What is it, love?"

"Sirius, I don't know if you've really looked at yourself since you got out, but you aren't the same. You've got more tattoos, which aren't bad, but your hair is too long, and it's greasy and tangled and absolutely matted. Your skin is all stretched and waxy, like you don't have enough to cover all your bones, which I can see, by the way. And your eyes, darling, are still so beautiful, but there's sunken and hollow somehow and it's frightening. Love, you need food and a bath and someone to take care of you. If you don't let me out of this bed, we'll both waste away to nothing and then Peter can run free."

For a moment, Sirius was hurt. Then he was disgusted. How had she just spent so many hours with him in bed, skin on skin, if he was so repulsive? He had to fix it. He had to be better, for her. He had to be perfect again, for her.

"What do you want to do, then?" he whispered, feeling a little dejected.

"Let me pop on over to Hogsmeade for just a few hours," she whispered. "I'll get everything we need and be back to fix you up. And then," she said with her old smirk, "we can have wild, passionate sex in every room of the shack, all night long."

"Just like your seventeenth birthday, darling," he said with a smirk to match hers. That had been a wonderful day, until they got detention for skiving off all their classes. But it had been worth it. The look she gave him when he brought it up said all he needed to know. She remembered it too.

"That was a pretty good day," she admitted as she slid out of bed, pecking him on the lips one more time as she pulled on clothes. "I'll be back just as soon as I can, love," she whispered, smiling at him sadly.

As soon as she left him, Sirius began to stare emptily at the ceiling, trying to stifle the instantly rising fears that she wouldn't come back with thoughts of their time together, both from before and from their short time being reunited. They were powerful memories, more powerful than he had realized, as he hadn't had mental access to them in Azkaban. The shine of her hair, the heat of her breath, the supple skin of her breasts, the taste of her body… nothing had changed. He had changed so much, but all she had done was grown a bit, aged almost imperceptibly, and birth him two beautiful daughters (which he almost hated admitting, as they looked just like his cousin). Matty would come back because she hadn't changed. She still loved him.

Sirius was pulled from his thoughts about Matty when another owl swooped in. With a groan, he took the letter and the owl stayed there, obviously awaiting a reply. It was addressed to Matty, of course (it said 'Mum' on the envelope), and she would have to answer it when she got back, but Sirius knew who it was from and he couldn't help put open it, dying to know what they had to say.

_Dear Mum,_

_Uncle Remus said he would write you, but we promise we would write. We're not sure how much he said. We're both in Gryffindor, and Harry Potter nearly ran Merryn over on the way to the dormitory. We'll try to write often, not always grouping our letters like this, but we didn't have much to say, except that we love you and we hope you're not too bored without us._

_Love Ma__ë__lle and Merryn_

Sirius swore up and down that he wasn't going to cry. He looked down at the little chicken scratch that he deduced must be Maëlle's writing. It looked just like his own handwriting at that age. Come to think of it, that's probably what his handwriting still looked like. He hadn't written anything in so long, he couldn't say for sure. His daughters were in Gryffindor. James's son was in Gryffindor. Well, of course they were, was there ever a moment of doubt?

He reread the note several times, even kissing it once, knowing it was the closest thing in his life to his children at the moment. So maybe he was slightly off-balance. Matty wasn't back yet. Nobody but him and that bloody owl would ever know. Just like nobody else would ever know he curled up in the bed with the letter and cried, thinking about all the things he had missed in the childhood of his little girls. He missed so much, missed nearly everything, because of Peter Pettigrew. And once he was a free man and could be in their lives, he swore to himself that he would never, ever, tell them no.

When Matty came back from her trip to Hogsmeade, she didn't initially notice anything was different. She was carrying dozens of bags, all from different stores, and jabbering happily about the purchases. Food, drink, clothes (she thought she remembered his size), and some things to wash with. She swore she'd cut his hair and make it look as handsome as it used to. Just as she went to set down the bag with plates, cups and silverware, she noticed the owl, and then she noticed lack of letter around its leg and asked him instantly where the letter was. He handed it to her.

"Were you… crying?" she whispered. He winced. Tears must have gotten on the letter. How could he have been so careless?

"N-no," he muttered, but the tender, pitying expression on her face showed him that she didn't believe him. She dropped the letter, ignoring the owls indignant hooting, and rushed to his side, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him with, if it was possible, even more passion than she had in all their time in the bed together before she had left for Hogsmeade. His hands snaked across her body in spite of himself and before he even realized what they were doing, they were having sex in that four-poster all over again.

When they separated, panting, both flat on their backs and looking up at the ceiling, Sirius muttered, "What in the name of Merlin's balls did I do to deserve that?"

She just turned on her side, a smile on her face, and kissed his lips gently.

"I knew there was a reason I feel in love with you. I knew there was a reason I refused to date after they chucked in you Azkaban. I love you, Sirius Black," she whispered. "I've always loved you."

"I know, sweetheart," he whispered back, stroking her hair and pulling her closer to him. "But I'm not sure I understand why you just attacked me. It was pretty sexy, though."

Matty giggled as she moved her hand to his cheek.

"You're being a father, Sirius. You had an emotional reaction to that letter. You're really being a father."

"Are you surprised?"

"No," she admitted. "But I'm thrilled."

He smiled softly, petting her hair and taking in every inch of her with his eyes, as though memorizing her. At any moment, she might leave.

No, she wasn't leaving. She was his. Matty would never leave him. Azkaban had been his fault. He had abandoned her, not thinking of her when she needed him most. He had been selfish. He should have done something, at least said goodbye.

"You should probably reply to that letter, my love," he whispered in her ear, teasing it lightly with his tongue. "I think that owl is sick of watching us."

With a heavy sigh that warmed his heart, Matty quickly crawled out of the bed, scrawled a hurried response and tied it hastily to the owl's leg, who gave her annoyed hoot and flew away at once. With hardly a moment's hesitation, Matty rushed back into the bed and took his mouth in hers hungrily.

"Merlin, Matty, you really want another go?" he moaned, knowing it would be no problem for him, but wondering if she might be tired or sore.

"Just once more, and then I'm giving you bath, love," she murmured, nipping playfully at his jaw. He barked with laughter.

"So twice more, then?"

She gave a low moan as he lifted up his hips and ground into her.

"At least," she managed to gasp as he pulled her body forcefully down onto his own. At least indeed.

And so, naturally, he took her five more times that day, and only twice while she was bathing him. Matty had always had a thing for sex in the water, he thought, reminiscing happily. After what they swore was their final round until the morning, Sirius had been bathed, his hair had been trimmed, and he had been fed proper food. She had also gotten him proper clothes, which he swore he wasn't going to wear very often if she promised to only put on hers when she left for necessary shopping trips. It was a set of promises they were both quite happy with. Now, Matty was curled up in his arms, and Sirius was smelling her hair, petting it softly.

"Matty," he whispered, "I love you."

She smiled at in in the moonlight.

"I love you too, Sirius."

"I think I must have always loved you, from the very first time we met," he cooed, nuzzling her neck.

"That's silly," she whimpered tiredly. "That's just a bunch of romantic mush and you know it."

He nodded against her neck and sighed, "Maybe, darling, but it feels right to say, anyway. I'm running out of creative ways to tell you how much I love you in words. What if someday I run out of ways to show you I love you, and you just start thinking I've stopped loving you?"

Matty must have seen fear in his eyes as their eyes met. She petted him gently and shushed him.

"Darling, if you ever stop thinking of new ways, just use the old ones. But I'm not letting you go. Ever. I don't care if you ever do stop loving me. The day that happens is the day you owe me an extra twelve years, for the ones you missed. Promise?"

"Of course, darling," he murmured. "But that will never happen. I love you so much that I–"

Sirius froze. Someone was coming. He could hear footsteps on the bottom floor, and there was a scent… a familiar scent…

"Put on a dressing gown," he breathed into her ear, "and I'll hide in the wardrobe. It smells familiar. It could be a friend."

Matty nodded and Sirius slipped quietly into the wardrobe, leaving it open just a crack to see what was going on. His love was now lying in the bed, reading a book she had summoned from the shelf and wearing the dressing gown she had slipped into. The door to the bedroom creaked open and in walked someone very familiar indeed: Remus Lupin, all grown up and wearing shabby robes.

"Matty?" said Remus softly. "I-I got an owl from Rosmerta. She said she saw you in Hogsmeade and I thought you might be here… but… but why…?"

Always the actress, Matty looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Don't you dare tell a soul," she drawled, "even Dumbledore, but I couldn't stand being apart from my girls. They don't know I'm here. I just want to be here, keep an eye on them. It's only for their first year. And it's been nice, hanging out in the shack, reminiscing. Visiting Hogsmeade."

Remus was frowning in the moonlight, and Sirius knew how much it hurt her to lie to him. But really, she hadn't exactly lied, she just hadn't told the whole truth. But Sirius knew what was coming before Remus even opened his mouth, and knew Matty would have to lie.

"Have you been contacted by Sirius at all?" he said softly.

"N-no, Remus, I haven't," said Matty, looking sad. But Sirius knew it was for having to lie. "Was I supposed to?"

"I thought he might…" Remus sighed. "I thought he might track you down once he got out, but apparently he really never was the man I thought he was. Apparently he was lying the whole time."

"What does that mean?" said Matty, setting down the book and sitting up. Sirius flinched as the dressing gown parted slightly at the top, barely hiding her breasts and obviously alerting Remus to the fact that she was wearing nothing else. Matty was, of course, oblivious.

"It means," said Remus, before clearing his throat loudly, "that I would have thought he would come after you if he loved you as much as I always thought he did, but apparently that was a lie as well."

Remus was now sitting on the bed, level with her knees, but obviously staring at her chest. Sirius wondered deeply how close the full moon was. Normally, Matty could handle herself, but there was nothing Sirius could do if Remus was nearing the moon and jumped her. He didn't have a wand, and pulling him off of her wasn't an option.

"No, Remus," said Matty with a shake of her head, "whatever I have allowed myself to believe about what happened between him and the Marauders, what happened during the war, I've never doubted his love for me, and I never will."

"That's all well and good," said Remus, scooting a little closer to her, "but even you have to realize that even if Sirius loved you, you don't have to keep yourself from loving again. The girls need a father, Matty…."

Her eyes widened.

"We've had this discussion, Remus," she whispered as he leaned over her, their eyes locked together. "It wouldn't work out, you and me. There's too much history."

"I love you, Matty," Remus breathed, "and I would be the best father you could ask for to those girls, and you know that."

"No," said Matty, shaking her head. "The best father I could ask for is their real father, Remus. And you don't really love me. You love the idea of what we had. But that's over. It's nothing to do with the things you seemed to think…"

"I know," said Remus. "It's everything to do with the fact that you still love Sirius, even after everything he's done, and nothing I can do or say will be good enough to win you over."

Sirius nearly gasped. Remus sounded a bit like a kicked dog. Not attractive.

"Well," said Matty with a cheeky grin, "you know what they said. Once you go Black…"

Remus growled and crawled so that his body was lingering just above hers, his face inches from her own.

"That's a stupid line, and it always was. I'll be good enough for you, Matty, I promise. I'll love you until you've forgotten he ever existed."

Matty opened her mouth to answer, hopefully, thought Sirius, to tell him no again, but before she could get out whatever her intended words had been, Remus pressed his lips roughly to hers. And there Sirius stood, in the wardrobe, his jaw dropped in shock, unable to wrap his mind around the idea of his best friend going after his girl like this. What a day.


	3. Memory Lane

Matty shouldn't have returned the kiss. She should have pushed him away. Sirius expected her to push him away. And yet, there he was, standing in the wardrobe, watching his best friend kissing his girl and seeing her kiss him back. It wasn't the same as when Sirius kissed her. It wasn't as fiery, passionate, needy, but it was still a kiss back, and that felt quite like a stab in the heart.

Just as Sirius thought he was going to have to burst out of the wardrobe and start killing people (Remus's hand had made its way into Matty's dressing gown), Matty pushed Remus away, finally, and gasped for air. Undaunted, Remus went in to kiss her again, but she pushed him back before their lips met.

"Stop, Remus," she said quietly, breathlessly. "We can't do this anymore."

Anymore? How long had this been going on? How many times had his Matty slept with Remus? If Sirius didn't know any better, he would have wanted to claim Remus was the spy during the war, just for an excuse to duel him.

"Matty," said Remus throatily, proving to Sirius just where they were on the moon cycle, "please don't say that. Please, I need you." He kissed her neck lightly. "And you want this, don't you," he growled lowly. "You're all ready for me, aren't you?"

"Remus," she whimpered, "no, Remus. You don't really want to do this, you're just not thinking clearly because of your cycle."

So Matty had noticed it too. Sirius swallowed. Would mentioning it be enough to make Remus see sense?

Remus froze, looking down at her body, and he sighed. "You're seeing Sirius again," he mumbled. "You don't have to bother lying to me about it. I know you are. And I know nothing I say is going to stop you. He's dangerous, love. You know that."

"No," whimpered Matty. "No, he's not, Remus."

"You're lying to yourself because you love him," said Remus. "But you know the truth. I wish it wasn't the truth, but we know better now."

"Remus," she whispered, "I can't prove it now, but someday you'll believe me, and you'll realize how wrong you are to say such a thing. But you are right about one thing. I love him. I really, really love him, Remus, and he loves me."

"Maybe he does," said Remus with a sigh, "but I would have thought that if he had, you would have been more important to him than all of the politics. If he had loved you, he wouldn't have gotten himself thrown in Azkaban, he wouldn't have killed any of them. He wouldn't have switched sides."

Matty looked up into Remus's eyes and Sirius could see tears in her own.

"It's not that simple, Remus."

"No," said Remus, "it never is, is it?"

And with that, Remus stood and moved toward the door, opening it slowly and pausing.

"I won't tell the girls you're here, and I won't say a word about you and Sirius. I'll pretend ignorance, but if you need anything, let me know. Be careful, Matty. I love you."

"Thank you, Remus," she whispered, and she watched him walk out of the door, listened carefully until his footsteps were gone and she knew he was back in the secret passageway to the school. She looked over at the wardrobe, at Sirius, who was still a bit shocked and confused as he climbed out of the wardrobe, naked, looking down at Matty, who was taking off her dressing gown.

"What the hell was that?" growled Sirius, trying very hard not to betray how jealous he was. Matty bit her lip and shrugged.

"I don't know, Sirius, what did it look like?"

Sirius climbed over her now naked body, breathing heavily and glaring slightly, trying so hard to hide his anger.

"It looked like the wolf was trying to stake a claim on my girl."

"Oh?"

"You know what I have to do, Matty?" he said softly, grabbing her wand from the bedside table.

"What?" she answered breathlessly, but she knew. There was no doubt in Sirius's mind she knew what was coming. He conjured some ropes that tied her wrists together and he used a Sticking Charm to attach the rope to the headboard.

"I'm going to reclaim you, darling," he growled. "I'm going to remind your body that it's mine, and that if anyone else dare touch it, they're touching what's mine."

She shivered as he ran a finger down her skin, starting at her cheek and ending at her cleavage. There would be no other way now. He would completely ravish her body, rough and hard. He was too angry to try and be gentle. There was no point. His need was too strong.

This time when they made love, it was different. Her body was taking a rough go of things. In the morning, they would deal with the bruises, the bite marks, the scratches, and all the blood that was drawn in the process. She would probably be a bit sore all over. But Sirius didn't think about that. He thought about the claim he needed to make. Matty was moaning, crying out in a mix of pleasure and pain that he hadn't heard from her since they were in school. If they villagers had thought the Shrieking Shack had stopped Shrieking, they were wrong.

Few people knew it, though the other Marauders suspected, that when the villagers spoke of the "ghosts" in plural, the second ghost was Matty. On windy nights, the shack was perfectly located so that her screams and loudest moans reached the village. Sirius encouraged the rumors. James thought it was hilarious. Remus thought it was horrible. But then, he had always thought anything to do with his condition was horrible by association.

Or maybe that hadn't been what had bothered Remus about the whole thing. Maybe he had had a thing for Matty even then, and he had been wishing it was him making her moan and scream in the shack, in the dead of night, begging for more. Rage filled Sirius.

"Tell me everything," he growled. "Tell me everything that wolf has done to you."

"W-what?" she whimpered.

"I want you to tell me everything Remus has done with you, Matty," he snarled into her neck, "because you're mine and I need to know exactly what to reclaim."

"Sirius, please, nothing h-happened."

"Don't lie to me, Matty," he snarled. "I saw that kiss. I saw everything."

"We s-slept together o-once," she moaned. "It was a l-l-long time ago. Maybe a month after you were taken away. B-but it was a mistake, and I knew it when it happened. I was just s-so lonely. Merlin, Sirius!" she cried.

"What was that love?" he growled low in her ear. "I missed that last bit."

"Sirius," she moaned.

"That's right, love," he whispered. "That's right, say my name just like you used to."

"Unh, Sirius!" she cried, and he could feel her contract around him, completely letting go and writhing hard attempting to free her wrists. He had no doubt that if her arms had been free those beautiful nails would be digging deep into his back, likely drawing blood.

As she came down from her high, he untied her wrists and wrapped her arms around her shaking body as she collapsed against him.

"You're mine, Matty, and don't you ever forget it."

"Never," she breathed, curling up against him. For a moment, Sirius wanted to run to the school, kidnap his daughters, and take them and Matty somewhere far away, forget about Peter and the messes of his past. He wanted a normal life with his family. But he couldn't do that. His daughters deserved better than a life on the run, Matty deserved more than to be taken away from everything she cared about, and the Potters had to be avenged. Damn sense of honor.

They fell asleep tangled up in each other's arms once again.

The next morning, Matty woke Sirius up with her mouth down between his legs. He kept his eyes closed, but encouraged her with groans and sighs he couldn't suppress. When he came and she swallowed every last bit of his seed, he sighed in contentment, remembering how many different times and ways she had done that same thing.

It had taken her a while to warm up to doing that, going down on him. Matty had been born with an incredibly sensitive gag reflex and every time she even put him in her mouth she gagged at first. He convinced her to work her way up to it, and while it went aggravatingly slow, three years later she was able to give head _and_ swallow, which he had never dreamed she would do. She also happened to be amazing at it, which was an added bonus.

"Did you do with that with the wolf?" he moaned as she crawled up his body, planting a kiss on his neck.

"Of course not, darling," she sighed. "That's only for you, and will be forever."

"Just like the rest of you will be, right, love?"

"Exactly," she sighed, wrapping her arms loosely around his body.

"Well," he said with a smile, "what are we going to do today?"

"Since yesterday was all about what I wanted," said Matty with a smirk, "today is all about you, so we will do _whatever you want_."

He bit his lip, his eyes roving over her body.

"I like the sound of that."

As he began to press kisses along her torso, he realized something that made him freeze, frown and look up at her.

"Wait a moment, you lied to me."

She frowned.

"No, I didn't. You can do whatever you want."

"No, before. You said Remus and you had never done more than kissing, and then last night you admitted to having slept with him. Why did you lie to me?"

Matty winced and sighed.

"Because it didn't matter. It didn't mean anything, and I wasn't sure how you would react if you knew I'd done it before you realized that I still loved you."

"Why did you do it if it didn't mean anything?" he said. "Were you that lonely?"

"Well," she sighed, running her hands into his hair thoughtfully, "maybe, a bit, but it was also… well… a timing issue."

At first, Sirius wasn't sure what she meant. He blinked at her, tilted his head to the side, and blinked again. A timing issue?

"Oh, it was his time of the month?" Matty nodded. "He didn't?"

"No, he didn't rape me, but it meant so much more for him than me. I knew, after that night, that I couldn't risk being in that sort of situation again because there was no guarantee he could stop himself if I told him no." She shook her head sadly. "I wouldn't want him to have to live with that kind of guilt."

Sirius nodded.

"I'm not happy that you didn't just tell me," muttered Sirius, "but I forgive you, and I understand."

"You'll make a great father, darling," she whispered, placing an open-mouthed kiss on his collarbone and dragging her mouth up his neck slowly. He gasped.

"Merlin, Matty," he groaned. "Where were we?"

They spent weeks doing little more than dealing with mail, exploring each other's bodies, and only the bare necessities of other things. Remus didn't visit again, but he did write to her several times and urge her to stop seeing Sirius. She ripped up every letter in pure fury. Matty did her best to feed Sirius and make him look healthy again, but she suspected that his anxiety and devotion to his hunt were negating all her efforts, and she found she didn't mind. No, he wasn't the utterly godlike specimen of her youth, but there was something tragically appealing about post-Azkaban Sirius, and now that he wasn't actually dirty, she didn't mind lying in a four-poster bed with him day after day, skin on skin.

The week before Halloween, a letter from the girls sparked an idea in Sirius.

"Halloween," he whispered.

"Yes, darling," said Matty, writing a reply to their daughters. "Halloween, next week. What of it?"

"I can get him on Halloween!"

Matty turned and looked at him, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Why then?"

"They'll all be in the Great Hall," he said, "and I can get into Gryffindor Tower and nobody will be there. I know where he sleeps, he'll be in the third year boys' dormitory, and that cat I've been talking to told me which bed…"

Matty sighed.

"How does this cat even know?"

"He belongs to a friend of the owner of Peter," he muttered, pacing the floor of the shack. "It's perfect. Then I won't have to deal with students and our girls will be safe."

"You need to do this right, Sirius," whispered Matty. "If you mess this up, they could catch you, they could take you from me, and I can't lose you again. Those girls are getting their father."

Sirius sighed and hugged her to him.

"What would you do if I died?" he forced himself to whisper.

The way she tensed in his arms told him that she didn't want to think about it either, but they had to. It was a very real possibility.

"I would marry Remus," she said softly, "because the girls deserve a father, and if they can't have the best I'll give them the next best thing."

He heard her sniff and he wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered back. "I'm getting Peter, dead or alive, but preferably dead, and then I'm going to give you everything I should have given you thirteen years ago. I'm going to marry you, and build that big house in the country you always wanted, six more kids… everything you always wanted, everything you deserve."

Matty just shook her head and sighed, leading him to the kitchen, where she had lunch ready and waiting for them. Simple sandwiches, but Sirius wasn't about to complain. He was eating better than he had in over a decade, and he wasn't about to complain about that.

"You know what I want, darling?" she said softly, putting a sandwich on his plate and pushing it toward him.

"What's that, love?" he said, grabbing the sandwich and ripping at it savagely with his teeth. She hadn't complained about his table manners, and he was glad of that. Matty wasn't taming him.

"I want to fall asleep with you every night, wake up with you every morning, and be able to walk down the street in broad daylight on your arm and let everyone know I'm yours. I want to have Christmas with you and Remus and the girls and laugh together like we used to, you and James waking everyone up at four in the morning for presents. I…" She bit her lip and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I want my friends back. You have no idea… you… I… Sirius, it hurts so much, all the time."

She broke down and dropped her head into her hands, sobbing furiously, her whole body shaking with the force of her grief. Sirius instantly dropped his sandwich and rushed to her side, petting her and picking her up, sitting down and lifting her onto his lap, cradling her shaking form in his arms. He knew she had been through a lot, but she had never said a word about it to him.

"Mary's death was just the beginning," she whispered. "And then when Marlene and her family were wiped out… that was the real wakeup call." Matty sniffed and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging his neck tightly, burying her face into his chest. "When Caradoc disappeared…"

Sirius tightened his hold on her. Caradoc Dearborn and Matty had lived next door to each other growing up. He had been her oldest friend. He had personally vetted Sirius before allowing Matty to date him, and he was the one who talked to Dumbledore about the Marauder joining the Order. There had been a lot of mutual respect between Sirius and Caradoc, the boy three years older than them, best friend of the Prewett twins. But the twins had been killed and Caradoc had disappeared without a trace. They searched and searched, egged on by Matty's distressed and tearful insistence that they not bury an empty coffin, that they not give up until found the body, but after months without a sign of him, even Matty had been forced to give up and the coffin was full of air. Sirius hadn't been able to get Matty out of bed for weeks after the funeral. She curled up with a teddy bear Caradoc had given her when she was five, sprayed his cologne all over it, and just pulled the blankets over her head and only ate and drank what Sirius was able to force down her throat. He swore to himself then and there that he would protect her from everything for the rest of his life.

"And then when I heard that Lily and James were gone, when Remus gave me the news, I just collapsed. I actually passed out in his arms, Sirius. I didn't leave his house for months. Just after we heard about Lily and James, we got a letter from Dumbledore explaining what had happened to you, explaining what he thought happened to you and P-Peter… I lost everything. And then three days later, Remus got a Healer to come and see me because he suspected something was wrong and we found out about the twins. I – I didn't know what to do. Remus took care of me, because I was in shock from all the losses. And then we found out about my sisters. And then Remus found out that your cousin had heard through the grapevine, probably from a Death Eater at St. Mungo's, that I was pregnant and that she was looking for me. Remus took me away and into hiding. All I wanted was to die, he had to keep me safe, keep an eye on me all the time. I actually tried to send a letter to your cousin once, but he caught me and burned it."

Matty shivered in his arms.

"Remus had never yelled at me before then, and he scared me so much, but I'm glad now that he did it. He kept saying how he had lost too much already and he wasn't losing me too. Once Bellatrix was taken to Azkaban, Dumbledore waited a few days and deemed it safe for me to go back to my 'normal life,' but I didn't know what that was anymore. Remus found a nice little house for me and helped me through the pregnancy, building a nursery for the girls. Xenophilius gave me a job at the _Quibbler_ when the _Daily Prophet_ rejected me."

"Why–?"

"Because of you," she whispered. "Everyone associated with you became a pariah once you got chucked in Azkaban. Remus was shunted around from temporary job to temporary job. They would last a couple of months, at most. You know nobody wants to hire someone in his condition. Anyway, raising the girls took a lot of the life out of me. Xenophilius had me working from home, which was a godsend. He knew I didn't want to be away from the girls. And Remus got a flat nearby and would Floo over or Apparate whenever he could to check in, play with the girls. When he was between jobs I would do extra articles to help him keep up the rent. It was the least I could do."

She sobbed and Sirius petted her hair gently.

"I did the best I could, but there were days I couldn't get out of bed, and I would have to have Remus come and take care of the girls. He made me go to St. Mungo's and see all kinds of therapists, but didn't matter. I never stopped having days like that. Maybe a week before I had to take the girls to King's Cross, Merryn pulled this prank on Maëlle, used this powder… I don't know where she got it… anyway, it turned her sister's hair purple."

Sirius's eyes widened. Purple hair… powder… it was powdered doxy egg, diluted, of course. That had been the first prank he had pulled on Matty at Hogwarts. They were twelve, and she had fallen asleep in the common room. He had just acquired the powdered doxy egg from Gideon Prewett, was absolutely itching to try it out and it had been too good of an opportunity to pass up. Merryn really was his daughter.

"When Maëlle ran into the kitchen with purple hair, shrieking, and Merryn walked in with a satisfied smirk on her face that looked just like yours, I collapsed right there and then, sobbing uncontrollably. The girls didn't know what to do, their mother curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor, completely unresponsive. Merryn gave Remus a quick fire call and he was right over. Well, he took one look at Maëlle and knew what had happened. He got me into bed, told the girls he'd be right back, and Flooed back to get his things. He stayed at the house for the rest of the week, helping get the girls ready for Hogwarts, packing his own few things, and caring for me. I didn't talk for three whole days, Sirius."

Sirius sighed. He had put this woman he loved through absolute hell for twelve years. She would have gone through a lot anyway, with the war and everything, but he would have been there to shield her from everything. He would have been there to protect her like he swore to himself he would do. In that moment, he made himself a vow. No matter what, he would always find a way to be there for her when she needed him, always.


	4. Piece of Work

Their little girls had made a new friend, and her name was Tien Vo. Tien was the daughter of Vietnamese pureblood immigrants and slept next to Merryn in their dormitory, and it sounded as though those two were already thick as thieves, and that Maëlle was just along for the ride. While the twins were both accomplished in Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts like their father, Tien was top of their year in Charms and, to Snape's great displeasure, Potions.

"Well," said Sirius with a laugh as he put down the letter from Remus describing their daughter's new friend and her antics, "at least we know Minnie's earning those gray hairs from someone now that I'm gone. I think Tien and Merryn ought to make sure the rest of it's nice and silvery within the next couple of years."

"I suspect it's already nice and silvery," said Matty with a laugh. "After all, she's a fair bit older than when she taught us. That was over a decade ago."

Sirius winced.

"Don't remind me, love."

"What, you're okay with being old enough to be a father of school-aged children, but not to be more than ten years out of school?"

"I just don't like reminders that I'm old," he moaned, wrapping her up tightly in his arms.

"You're not old, darling," Matty cooed. "You're just not as young as you used to be."

"Yeah, well I don't like reminders of that, either," he huffed.

Matty just laughed, kissing his chest softly, tracing her tongue along his tattoos. He bit his lip, working his fingers into her hair as she continued teasing him. As she took his nipple into her mouth, Sirius moaned, reading the letter that was lying beside him over again.

The girls were rooming with Tien, and two other girls: Wynonna Fishman and Jonette Wilson. Sirius could already sense a little bit of rivalry between the three girls and the other two. That was often the way of things in dormitories with five or six people in them. Cliques were formed, and sometimes it turned ugly. The Marauders had been fortunate enough to be in with Gideon Prewett, who let them do what they wanted, and rarely intervened. He wasn't a half bad chap.

All thoughts of rooming situations left his mind as Matty bit down on his nipple, causing him to moan eagerly, tightening his grip on her hair. Maybe this wasn't the reason he had broken out of Azkaban, but it was going much better than that particular endeavor, so for the moment, he was more than happy to pretend that it had been the reason all along.

"Halloween tomorrow," he muttered, after they had gone three rounds and collapsed, exhausted on the bed. Sirius was now stroking Matty's hair, running his fingers through the familiar silky tresses. "By this time two days from now, I should be a free man."

"Whatever you do, love," she whispered, "don't get caught. If you have to, you can get him at another time, but don't let them catch you. I don't want to lose you again."

"Of course, love," he whispered. "I've got far more than myself to think about."

Among those things to think about should have been his plan for getting into the Tower, but he was a bit distracted by the sight of Matty rummaging around for her clothes after her bath that he thought he'd put planning off a bit and focus on something else.

Walking through the passageway to the grounds, however, Sirius was acutely aware that he ought to have just a bit more. He had nothing with him but his knife, which he held in his teeth as he transformed into his Animagus form at the end of the tunnel, rushing up to the castle as fast as his four legs could carry him. As he made his way through the familiar castle, Sirius almost felt like a kid again, recalling all the times he had wandered the castle with his friends in animal form… but this was different. Now he was on a mission.

Nothing had changed. The portrait of the Fat Lady in her pink silk dress was still hanging over the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. The only thing that had changed was that he was no longer a charming seventh year who was able to butter her up enough to let him in without the password. He knew it wouldn't work in dog form. Maybe she'd be scared enough of his human form to let him pass. For a moment, all of Matty's warnings of safety, calmness, caution… they all fled from his mind. He was so incredibly close…

He changed into human form, and the Fat Lady gave a noise of surprise. It wasn't at seeing him change. She had seen that before. It was at having the escaped convict Sirius Black standing in front of her after, no doubt, the Headmaster had assured her of safety.

"Let me through," he said, a little more gruffly than he had originally intended.

"I'm afraid I can't let anyone through who hasn't got the password," she said boldly. She always had thought highly of herself.

"Well, you'll just have to make an exception, darling, because I've got business to attend to, and it requires me being in that tower."

The Fat Lady gave him a haughty look and replied, "Not without the password. No one gets through without the password."

Plan B.

Sirius took out his knife and didn't hesitate before slashing and hacking at the portrait, trying to get through to the other side. But no, Plan B failed as well, because obviously Dumbledore had charmed the portrait guard against such Muggle methods. And there was no doubt the Fat Lady recognized him. Running down to a deserted corridor, Sirius changed into his dog form again and fled. Matty would be disappointed in his lack of restraint, but at least he would be coming back alive. At least he would be coming back…

When Matty looked at his sweat-covered face, she frowned.

"You didn't get him, did you?"

"No," he said hoarsely, dropping onto the bed beside her and kissing her soft forehead. "No, I couldn't get in. I have to find some way to get the password… Apparently I'm not as charming as I was as a teenager."

Matty snorted and he gave her a playful swat.

"So she just let you leave without a fuss?" said Matty, propping herself up on an elbow. "You don't think that she told anyone, do you?"

"Um," he said. "Well, Remus might pay you a visit again tonight."

"_What did you do?_" she growled dangerously, and Sirius winced, having forgotten the absolute venom her voice could hold when she wasn't happy with him. She certainly wasn't happy now, and having two children probably have given this tone lots of practice.

"Well, let's just say I got a bit angry when I couldn't get in," he mumbled, suddenly ashamed of himself. Her eyes flashed angrily, but then they heard footsteps moving quickly on the floor below and Sirius slipped into the wardrobe again. He bit his lip to hold in the furious growl inside of him when he saw Matty lay back on the bed and unbutton her shirt just enough to reveal an ample amount of chest. She was making Sirius pay for his careless behavior. He didn't know where this vindictive side came from, but he didn't like it at all.

"Matty," said Remus, looking relieved as he rushed into the room and saw her lounging casually on the bed. "Oh, Merlin, Matty, I was so worried. I thought he'd come here after… oh, I'm so glad you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be, Remus?" she said softly, sitting up a little on the bed with her arms stretched out behind her, causing the opening in her shirt to widen simultaneously with Remus's eyes.

"S-Sirius was in the castle. He attacked the Fat Lady with a knife, s-slashed her portrait. The girls are all right, no one was harmed, but they're searching the castle for him and I was so worried… Oh, Matty."

His voice had weakened with every word and when he finished speaking it was little more than a lustful croak. Remus was standing, staring transfixed at her, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to gouge out his eyes and find some creative way of punishing her to get back at her for her behavior.

But the problem was that Sirius knew he deserved it, and he got the message she was sending loud and clear. If he didn't figure out a way to be more careful, she would be sleeping with Remus, not Sirius. The very thought made his heart sting in his chest.

"I'm fine, Remus," she said, moving over a little on the bed, allowing her skirt to shift upward on her legs a little. "If you're not expected back at the castle right away, you should have a seat. Stay awhile."

Sirius frowned. What the hell was she doing?

Remus looked a little confused, but sat down beside her, still watching her body with hungry eyes. It was different than last time, however, less manic. He wasn't on that part of his lunar cycle. The full moon wasn't making him sexually restless. There were no excuses for either of them this time.

"H-how've you been, Matty?" he choked out, watching her cross her legs smoothly.

"I'm all right, I suppose," she said with a little sigh. "I worry about the girls most of the day. I'm not used to having all my time to myself," she hissed. "It's a little lonely."

Her hand was on his knee and Sirius could hear him swallowing hard, looking at her like a lost little child.

"The girls are fine," he breathed back, "and if I could, I would visit you more but–"

"No, no," she said with a little chuckle. "You're busy, Professor. You've got a job to do, and I don't want you putting it at risk by sneaking out to see me any more than necessary. People might suspect you're out to see someone else."

Their lips were incredibly close together now, and her free hand was playing with the fastening on his cloak while the other travelled up his leg slowly. Sirius felt like he was about to explode. Why was she doing this to him? Someday, Remus would find out she had used him. Would he ever forgive her?

Yes, Sirius thought to himself, he probably would, just like Sirius would forgive her for this cruel revenge. Matty used Moony all the time in school, to do her homework, to cover for her when she would sneak out with Sirius… It finally hit Sirius that Remus must have wanted her all along. He was very good at hiding it.

"I thought you…" Remus breathed. "You're so loyal to him… I… M-Matty," he gulped as she pressed her lips to his neck softly. "Unh, Merlin."

Matty pushed him back onto the bed and whipped his cloak out from around him, straddling him confidently. The shock seemed to be wearing off Remus a bit, because he relaxed a little as she ground into him, reaching under her skirt to grab her ass and push her harder against him. Sirius winced as he saw Remus's fingers caressing Matty's bare ass. That was his. Remus shouldn't be allowed to touch what was his.

Remus waved his wand at the candles on the table and the extinguished. Sirius could hear the wand get tossed aside, probably by Matty, and Sirius sat on the bottom of the wardrobe, listening to the sound of his lover making love to his once-friend. If there was any consolation, she didn't scream for him, and when she came, she moaned Sirius's name. Small comfort, but nice to know, nonetheless.

The following morning, Sirius, who had slept in the wardrobe, awoke to the sounds of Matty's sleepy moans. He peaked out through the door of the wardrobe and saw Remus placing kisses along her body. He was waking her up with kisses. The nerve.

"Unh, Sirius," she moaned, "that's nice."

Sirius smirked to himself and Remus growled in frustration, which caused Matty to jolt awake and look up at him, clearly appalled at what she had done. That was nice of her.

"Remus," she hissed, "you need to go. You need to be getting back up the castle! Dumbledore will think all kinds of things. And Snivellus… Oh, Remus, this was a mistake. You need to go!"

"Merlin, Decima, do you really expect me to just leave you like this?" Remus moaned. "I mean, you've been leading me on, twisting me around for years! But it's all been some kind of game to you, hasn't it? Because even when we're making love, you're thinking of him! Is there really nothing I can do that will make you want me even a little bit?"

That pleading, that desperation in his voice, his eyes… Not cute, Moony. Definitely not attractive. Clearly this was why Remus had been single all those years: he was a whiny little thing. On the other hand, perhaps he had been secretly pining after Matty even then. A little beast in Sirius's chest growled angrily at the thought.

But she chose Sirius. Matty Clondon chose Sirius, not Remus, even when they were kids, even today. It was taking a lot of his patience to remind himself of that as he sat on the hard floor of the wardrobe, watching is lover lay in bed, starkers, with another man's arms around her, but she had chosen Sirius. For some reason, it was important that he keep reminding himself that.

"Remus," she sighed, "this isn't going to work and you know it. Can't you just be my friend Moony, like the way things used to be?"

"No," said Remus in a low, dangerous voice. "Don't call me that, Matty, don't you dare. Moony is dead. He died when Sirius killed James and Peter and there was no use for him to exist anymore. I was never just your friend, Matty, you know that! You were always more important to me, more special to me, than anyone else."

"Remus," she said, tears in her eyes, "don't make me force you to leave. Please."

They stared at each other for a moment, and Sirius was sure Remus was going to cry, or at least beg again, but after mere seconds Remus waved his wand, magically dressed himself, and walked out of the room like a wolf with his tail between his legs. If he hadn't just slept with Matty, Sirius would have felt very sorry for him.

Sirius could tell that Remus had left the shack before Matty told him it was clear, but he didn't move even when she asked him to come out. He was furious, and part of him was afraid of what he would do if he came out and had to face her, knowing that she had just slept with someone else in the bed they had taken to addressing as theirs. She sighed heavily, flung open the doors to the wardrobe and looked down at him, an agitated look on her face.

"What the bloody hell do you have to pout about, Sirius? You about turned that school upside down last night, and in case you had forgotten my daughters are in there!"

"Our daughters," Sirius croaked. "Our daughters are in there. And our friend just screwed you in our bed last night while I slept in here, so don't you dare tell me I'm the one who's horrible."

"You deserved it and you know it," she hissed at him.

"You really are a bitch, you know that?" he said with a hollow, bark-like laugh. "I suppose this is like that time you ran off to the broom cupboard with Fabian Prewett just because I forgot your birthday. At least you had the decency to feel bad when you found out it was because I was lying in the hospital wing with my head split open. Any remorse this time?"

"I don't know," she said with a snarl, "any Bludgers around to give you an excuse this time?"

Sirius shook his head, crawling out of the wardrobe and pacing the length of the room. She was quite the piece of work, but she was his piece of work. As much as he wanted to be angry with her, to not forgive her, he couldn't.

"You know what I think?" he growled, one last attempt at making her feel guilty. "I think you were looking for an excuse?"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I think last night you were looking for an excuse to screw Remus just like you were just looking for an excuse to snog Fabian when we were eighteen."

Matty laughed.

"Well, I'm just some horrible little bitch then, and you're better off without me, is that right? Well, I've got news for you, Sirius. It doesn't matter what my reasons were, you're not leaving, because you've got nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, and no one else you love as much as me. And I'm not going anywhere because I love you more than anything, which you know, don't you, darling?"

He smiled softly.

"I know," he whispered, wrapping her up in his arms. "I love you too. But you're cleaning those sheets before I sleep in them, darling."

"I wouldn't dream of not," said Matty, smirking as she leaned up to kiss him.

She was right, silly girl. He loved her, wholly and absolutely. That's why he hadn't just told her to go screw Fabian, and that's why he wasn't telling her that Remus could have her. Remus couldn't have her. She was a piece of work, but she was Sirius's piece of work, and if Remus ever laid his paws on her again Sirius would rip out his jugular.

**A/N: Too weird? Just weird enough? Let me know what you're thinking, please!**


	5. Quidditch

By the end of the week, the weather had gotten to be horrible. The morning of the full moon, the weather was incredibly stormy, and Sirius was worried he wasn't going to be able to carry on with the plan he had had for the following day. Matty had received a letter from Merryn telling her all about the upcoming Gryffindor v. Hufflepuff match, and how Harry Potter was the Gryffindor Seeker. Sirius had to see him fly. Sirius just knew he would be a natural on a broomstick, just like James. After all, Sirius had given the boy his first toy broomstick, when he was just a year old.

"Sirius?" said Matty, as she drafted her reply to the girls. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean? I haven't moved since you finished reading me that bloody letter, thank you very much."

Matty sighed, inked her quill, and gave him one of those exasperated, motherly sort of looks she had acquired while he was in prison.

"You're smirking in that way that tells me you're thinking of doing something you know I won't want you to do."

He frowned, said smirk sliding instantly off his face.

"How the hell did you know I was smirking? You were facing the opposite direction."

She gave him a little smile.

"I told you, Sirius, as a mother, I've now got eyes in the back of my head."

"That would certainly explain a lot," he muttered, picking at a loose threat on the duvet. "Hey, Matty, do you think both girls will go to the Quidditch match tomorrow?"

"I expect so. Why?" She looked up at him and his grin returned in full force. "No. Absolutely not, Sirius. No!"

"C'mon, you're a parent, Matty! You could show up to watch a good game of Quidditch, bring along your loveable puppy… I want to see them so badly, darling. Please?"

She frowned.

"You want to see the girls, or Harry? Or perhaps the dementors? I know they'd love to see you. Remus is a teacher, darling, in case you'd forgotten, and he knows your form."

Sirius shrugged and said, "I've lost a lot of weight, he wouldn't recognize me. And besides, Remus won't be at the match. It's the full moon tonight, he'll be resting off his sleepless night of horror and such."

She balled up a piece of blank parchment and threw it at him with a heavy sigh.

"I'm not risking someone mentioning it to him casually and him realizing the truth of the matter. He might not want to turn me in for whatever it is I'm doing here, but there's not a doubt in my mind he wouldn't hesitate to turn in you."

Sirius groaned, flicked the parchment back at her, and hugged a pillow to his chest. She was right, but he wasn't willing to give up yet, so he pressed on.

"Yeah, I'll bet he'd love to turn me in, darling, so he could bed you every night."

"No," hissed Matty, "he'd turn you in because he thinks you killed one of your best friends and he's worried about the safety of Harry and our girls. He looks on them very much as though they were his, you know. He cares about them deeply."

Sirius nodded numbly, but he wasn't giving up. He was going to that Quidditch match if he had to go without her. Climbing into bed that night, his mind was filled with memories of school, James flying around the Quidditch pitch, putting all the Keepers to shame, Sirius's voice filling the stadium with play-by-play action… it would be like that again, he was sure. Harry would be just like James.

The following morning, Sirius breathed deeply, having to talk himself into drugging Matty's tea before she woke up. He had to get to that Quidditch match, and if she was awake, there was no way he'd make it down there. So he mixed the sleeping potion into her tea, swore up and down he'd make it up to her later, and made a quick breakfast.

Ten minutes later, Matty stretched out her pretty little body on the bed and he almost decided to throw the whole plan and instead kiss every inch of that body for the millionth time. Somehow, he managed to remain his composure long enough for her to wrap her body into a robe and join him for breakfast.

"I've made breakfast, darling," he said softly as she sat down to the plate he'd set out for her. "My cooking skills are a bit rusty, but I seem to remember this being one of your favorites."

Matty was too sleepy to be suspicious, he knew. She simply smiled and kissed him on the cheek, settling herself down to breakfast.

"Aw, baby," she cooed. "It's been far too long since we've done this. It's almost like we're teenagers again, you making breakfast for me!"

He felt guilty, there was no denying it, but it would all be worth it, he reminded himself, once he had seen Harry and the girls. He needed this. Steadying his guilt, Sirius made sure she ate plenty before pressing the tea in front of her.

"Tea, love," he said softly, brushing a bit of hair out of her face. "Sugar, just like you like it."

It didn't take many sips of tea for her to pass out, and Sirius carried her body back to the bed, tucked her in, and wrote a little note, leaving it in her hand.

_I'm sorry. I love you. Forgive me, but I had to see them._

With one last glance at her sleeping form, Sirius transformed into a dog and bounded away through the house, up the secret passage, across the Hogwarts grounds to the Quidditch pitch. It was nearly eleven. The game would be starting soon. He really didn't care that it was pouring down rain or that there was a roll of thunder. He was going to see his little girls.

He made his way into the Quidditch stands, watching the game only a bit. His eyes were fixed on the Gryffindor stands first, because he wanted to find his girls. As he made his way up to the top of the stands he heard a sweet little voice, the voice of his Maëlle cry, "Merryn, Tien, look! It's a puppy!"

Being a good little dog, Sirius turned and looked at the girls who were making their way toward him and he barked happily at them, wagging his tail. His twins, his girls… They were so beautiful. Tien was pretty as well, but not like his girls. She reached down carefully to pet him and he licked her face enthusiastically.

"That's not a puppy, Ellie," said Merryn with a little bark of laughter and an arrogant smirk. "He's too big to be a puppy. He looks friendly, though."

To demonstrate his friendliness, Sirius hopped up on his hind legs, front paws on Merryn's shoulders, and licked her face thoroughly, his tail wagging as though it might fall off. Maëlle frowned slightly.

"You'll smell like wet dog, Merryn. This rain is relentless."

"Mummy's not here, Ellie," Merryn hissed, "so it doesn't matter."

"Uncle Remus–"

"Is sick again. And I'm certainly not going to tell him, are you?"

The quieter twin blushed a little and mumbled that she wouldn't, and the three girls sat down around the dog, petting him as he happily gave them friendly, enthusiastic attention.

"Mummy sounds happier in her letters," Maëlle said thoughtfully as the teams made their way onto the field. "Do you think she and Uncle Remus are ever going to get married?"

"No," said Merryn firmly. "Mummy's still in love with Daddy, didn't you hear Uncle Remus before we left?"

"You weren't supposed to be listening!"

"Rules are lame," sighed Tien. "There's nothing wrong with listening if they didn't magically keep you from it. If it was something you weren't supposed to hear, they'd be careful you couldn't."

Good logic, Sirius thought to himself. He rather liked this girl, but he would have to remember to always be careful to make his conversations private when she was around.

"But who even is Daddy?" Maëlle frowned. "And how can you be so sure she loves him? I mean, she never talks about him, and when I ask she gets that sad look and says he's not here so it doesn't matter. Do you think he died?"

"No, she'd tell you if he was dead," Tien said. "When husbands die, wives recreate them in this grand way and tell the story of their brave death for years to come."

"You think he just left her?" Merryn said. "Oh, look, they've started."

They had started. Harry wasn't difficult to spot; he looked just like James and flew just like him as well. He watched the Quidditch match while listening carefully to the girl's conversation.

"I don't know," said Tien. "I suppose it's possible, but that would be so boring. What if he was taken from her violently? Like, during the war, they were separated or something?"

"Like what?" Maëlle asked, handing the other girls some chocolate bars.

"Like wrongfully imprisoned or something," Tien said. "Maybe… maybe he's Sirius Black!"

The girls laughed.

"Except he's a mass murderer," Merryn said. "He's guilty as sin; Mummy said so all the time."

"Wouldn't it be nice if he had some tragic story, though?" Tien shouted over the wind and rain. "I'd like to think he was framed, forced apart from his pregnant lover by some horrifically tragic misunderstanding and locked away to go mad for twelve years. I mean, nobody's ever broken out of Azkaban before, right? But I bet everybody in that prison has someone they want to kill, and there are a lot of them who are incredibly powerful and want to kill Harry Potter. None of them have broken out. Yet Sirius Black broke out. What if he managed to break out because of some beautiful, star-crossed love story? It would explain why your mum hasn't told you who your father is. And it's such a good story. Have you seen his pre-Azkaban pictures? He was dreamy."

Sirius barked happily. He really liked this girl. She had a good imagination, a great sense of character, and a good eye for dashing good looks. He heartily approved. His daughters, however, didn't seem to buy into the romantic notion of him being their father. He wondered what they would think when they finally did find out the truth, if they would resent him or be happy.

It was then that he realized something was wrong. There were a mass of black-cloaked figures gathering in the air. Dementors. There were dementors circling the game, and someone… someone was falling. Harry! Harry was falling from the air. Dumbledore cast a Patronus, caused Harry's body to fall slower, but Sirius knew he had to leave. The screaming, the crying… His daughters were crying. Sirius felt his heart break, but he knew he had to leave. Tearing free of the arms of Merryn, his strong daughter, who was shaking with fear, Sirius ran back to the Whomping Willow, rushing down the passage, changing back to his human form as soon as he reached the Shack.

"Sirius," hissed Matty's voice, "what the hell did you do?"

He winced. He was getting rather used to her saying that.

"Sweetheart," he said carefully, turning to face her, "let me explain–"

"Please tell me you didn't attack anyone this time," she growled. "No knives drawn? Perhaps you managed to steal a wand and hex someone. Oh, and while you were at it you _drugged_ me!"

"I had to see them," he whined. "I saw our daughters, Matty, I… oh, they're so wonderful. I can't believe I missed those years. I feel… oh, Matty."

Her hard expression softened and she sighed, "Well, I suppose you didn't get caught and you didn't stab anything, so that's improvement. But the next time I ask you to stay here, will you please just do it?"

"I can't promise that, Matty," he said honestly. "I can promise to try, but I can't promise I will always do what you want me to."

She watched him for a moment, a tear forming in her eyes that made him feel very guilty for drugging her and leaving her alone, but she whispered, "No, of course you can't. If you did, you wouldn't be my Sirius, would you, love?"

He gave her a sad sort of smile and wrapped her in a tight hug. James had always said that if he and Matty managed to not kill each other by the time they were twenty-five, they would have beautiful children and maybe they'd finally figure out how to talk to each other without yelling. They were thirty-four, but that was on the outside. On the inside, Sirius was still a twenty-year-old boy, and he could tell that Matty wasn't too much older. She had had to grow up a bit, it was true, for the girls, for the world outside, but the part of her that was his, the part of her that was their relationship, was hardly a day older than the day he had left. No matter how many times he hurt her or her him, somehow they always came back to each other, and everything was okay. She was right. If they did things any differently, it wouldn't be them. Their love was dysfunctional, but it was part of what they loved about each other. He didn't think he would have wanted her all those years if it hadn't been a struggle.

"You know, I like that Tien girl," he whispered, leading Matty back to the bed. "She came up with a romanticized version of me, very close to the truth, without even having met me. The girls thought it was all a good story, but they think I'm a monster."

His voice broke and he wiped a tear from his own eye. His daughters thought he was a horrible, mass-murdering beast. The desire to find Peter and put him down like the rat he was grew tenfold. There would be no mercy. Peter had taken everything from Sirius, had ruined everything. He couldn't even hug his own daughters; they couldn't know he was their father. The pain… the pain that caused was awful.

"Someday," he said, his voice heavy with pain and tears, "when this is all over, I'm going to hug them for hours on end, and tell them stories from when we were kids, and every morning when I make breakfast, I'm going to tell them how they're the most beautiful girls in the world. Because they are, you know. They're so beautiful. And they're ours, Matty; they're a bit of you and me." His voice shook as he held back his sobs. "Those are my babies, and they're growing up so fast, and… and…"

They didn't make love that night. Matty and Sirius curled up under the covers and she told him stories about the twins growing up as he cried into her chest. He had spent twelve years feeling guilty that James and Lily had died. That night, however, all he could feel is how horribly guilty he was for leaving Matty alone. He never should have gone, and even though she did not blame him, Sirius didn't think he would ever forgive himself. Lily… Lily must have known that Matty was pregnant. She had said that Frank could check on Peter instead, that Sirius should spend some time with Matty, and that he shouldn't be putting himself in so much danger all the time. Sirius had ignored her… he had said that Matty was a big girl, that she would be fine…

"_Where are you going?" Matty said sleepily as he rolled over, climbing out of bed._

"_I've got to do some Order business," he whispered, kissing her forehead as he pulled on his jeans. "I won't be long."_

"_Do you have to go right now?" she muttered, watching him pull on his t-shirt._

"_Just go back to sleep, love," he sighed. "You won't even notice I'm gone."_

_He grabbed his wand, fished around for a moment for the keys to his motorbike, and pulled on his socks._

"_Yes I will," she whispered. "You always say that, but I hate it when you leave."_

_He sighed. He didn't have time for this. He would literally be right back. He could fly to Peter's flat in a matter of minutes and he'd be back in no time at all. He wasn't even planning to stay for a drink tonight. After all, it was Matty's sister's birthday in the morning, and he did not want to be hung over for that. Drunk, perhaps, but it was painful enough without a hangover. Merryn was a royal bitch._

"_Just go back to sleep, love," he muttered, searching under the bed for his left shoe. "I'll be gone less than twenty minutes, I promise."_

"_The bed gets cold," she whispered, her silver eyes glowing in the darkness. "When are you going to back off on the Order, Sirius? When are we going to be like Lily and James?"_

"_What you want to go into hiding and never see any of your friends?" he said with a casual, tongue-in-cheek tone._

"_Are you going to check on them?"_

_He froze. Lying to Matty, letting her think he was still the Secret-Keeper… that had bothered him more than anything, but it was a necessary precaution. If anyone but the four of them found out it was Peter… Well, Matty was a bit too close to Remus. She might let something slip, and if Sirius's suspicions were right… They would all be dead in hours._

"_It's related to that, yes," he muttered, kissing her on the forehead once more as he pulled on his shoe. "Don't worry so much, love. I'll be back."_

"_Promise me something, Sirius," she whispered._

"_What, love?"_

"_When all of this craziness is over, when we're safe again, you'll settle down and we can get married and be like Lily and James?"_

_Sirius froze. Settle down? Get married? They were practically still kids. This was a bit rushed._

"_Where would the fun in that be?" he said with a forced laugh. "C'mon, Matty, that's the war talking."_

"_What if you don't come back?" she moaned. "Sirius, please, promise me–"_

"_Now, Matty, I just told you," he said sternly, "that's the war talking. We can revisit this discussion, but not while all this is going on, not right now. If I marry you, I don't want it to be because you're scared. There's nothing to be scared of, Matty. Things will be fine."_

"_Caradoc said that too," she said softly as he reached the door. He froze, his hand on the doorknob. Caradoc. It was always Caradoc._

"_Good night, Matty," he whispered. "I'll be back soon."_

_If he had stayed just a moment longer, he would have heard her broken sob, and maybe he would have stayed, maybe he would have checked on Peter in the morning, instead. That one moment would have changed everything, but he was already gone._


	6. Family Portrait

On Tuesday, Remus sent Matty a letter informing her about the Quidditch match, saying that he wanted her to get the facts and not some horror story the girls had pieced together with rumors and their overactive imaginations. Harry was fine, if a bit shaken up by the fall, the dementors, the loss of the match, and the utter destruction of his broom. The girls were perfectly safe, and thought the whole thing was rather exciting, like something in a particularly good book. Sirius felt a little more than sheepish.

"But you're still alive," Matty said, "and that's important. You still have your soul, and you're not in custody somewhere. And you got to see the girls, and I can't blame you for that."

"Still," Sirius muttered. "Harry's broom… could you imagine if I had broken James's broom? It would have been like killing Lily. He never would have forgiven me."

"Oh, he might have," Matty said, sighing, stretching out on his lap, "if you turned around and bought him a better one."

"Bought him a better one…" Sirius muttered. "Matty, that's brilliant!"

He pushed a confused Matty off his lap and began pacing frantically, a manic look in his eyes.

"What sort of broom did Moony say he had?"

"Nimbus 2000."

"Well, that's a bit of an older model now," Sirius considered, glancing down at an advertisement for brooms in the _Daily Prophet_. "It looks like there's several things better… But he's Harry. He deserves the best. What do you know about this Firebolt?"

Matty snorted.

"Only that it's the fastest broom out there, the Ireland team bought all their players Firebolts, and just one of them costs more than the average wizard's yearly salary."

"Good thing I'm not the average wizard, then," Sirius said cheekily. "Are you still able to get into my Gringotts vault?"

She blinked up at him, surprised and said, "I don't know. I haven't tried. It didn't occur to me after they took you away. I suppose I probably am."

"Go get some gold," he said, "enough for two Firebolts. We'll be able to get him a broom and keep ourselves stocked without depleting your bank account too visibly. Wouldn't want people getting suspicious, love."

"Do you want me to leave right now?" Matty said with a smirk. He turned around and looked at her, still feeling excited and slightly manic.

"Stay right there," he growled, pouncing on her aggressively, making love with her for Merlin only knows how many times that week.

The rest of November passed rather peacefully. Sirius and Matty picked up a new habit of rereading all of the girls' letters by a small, charmed fire each night. Matty had told the girls they ought to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays, so that they could experience it that way, just their first year.

In truth, she was enjoying her time with Sirius, and didn't want to leave him alone when the girls would be just fine at Hogwarts. Besides, they had work to do at the Shrieking Shack.

"All right," she muttered, "Here's your bloody Firebolt. How do you plan to get it to him?"

"Send it to him for Christmas," Sirius said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I can't," she huffed. "He doesn't know who I am. That would be weird."

"So send it to Remus to give him," Sirius growled, "that's believable enough."

"No, it's not," she sighed, flicking him playfully on the nose. "If I give him this expensive broom for Harry, he's going to be suspicious. He knows I haven't got the gold, so he'll know it's from you and he won't give it to him. Even if I somehow talked him into that, people would be suspicious of Remus giving Harry such an incredibly expensive present when he can't even afford proper robes. Who do you think they'll say gave it to him, Sirius? Everyone knows you're filthy rich."

"Fine," he snapped. "We'll send it as an anonymous gift. He's famous, right? Could be from a secret admirer or some rich guy who wants to thank him for being the savior of the wizarding world. Is that good enough for you?"

She wasn't happy with the thought, but after a while she consented to sending the broom as an anonymous gift by owl from Hogsmeade. She made the arrangements, purchased the Firebolt, wrapped it, and stored it in the wardrobe.

The rain continued on into December, which was just fine with Matty and Sirius, who were perfectly content to curl up under the covers all day and keep each other warm, cuddling and making love languidly.

Christmas morning, Sirius woke up to the smell of some sort of roast and the feel of gentle kisses on his skin. His eyes fluttered open to find Matty straddling him, tenderly pressing her lips against his bare chest.

"Good morning," she muttered. "I sent off the broom last night, after you went to sleep. I picked up a chicken. I'm making a roast chicken. I know it's your favorite."

His mouth began to water and he wasn't sure if it was the smell of the roast chicken or the sight of Matty's naked body above him, but he was certain he was on sensory overload. Running his hands up her back and pulling her closer to him, he threw his head back as she reached his collarbone, giving her mouth easier access to his neck.

"Good morning to you," he groaned, squirming beneath her. "How did you remember the roast chicken?"

"Maëlle loves it too," she murmured. "Merryn prefers fish, like her mother."

"Well, here I thought Merryn was my little evil munchkin. Seems she's your daughter after all."

"There was a little while," Matty murmured, "when they both wanted to eat their stakes rare like Uncle Remus, but Maëlle was cured just watching me make it, but Merryn took a couple of weeks to get over the phase. She's rather determined, just like you."

Sirius gave a little bark of a laugh, but didn't allow Matty much time for coherent speech or thought after that. As much as he loved talking about his daughters, he did not want to be thinking about the sweet little girls as he was pounding into their mother like a horny teenager. It just seemed wrong.

It was a wonderful Christmas, cuddling with Matty, eating roast chicken, laughing about their Christmas memories from school. His personal favorite story was the time James got Matty to steal all of the underwear of the girls in their year that they had left at school, including her own so as not to implicate her. The things James had done to get them to beg were wonderful and Sirius hadn't minded Matty going without panties for a couple of weeks. They had been sixteen.

"I have something for you," she said as they curled up after the delicious dinner. "I went by my place to get it while I was out taking care of the mail. You open this and I'll open the stuff I got."

Sirius had forgotten about presents. He had forgotten to get something for Matty, to get something for the girls… Other than a broom for Harry, he had forgotten that gifts were an integral part of the month of December and he felt like a fool. Still he took the small, carefully wrapped parcel from his love and watched her dig in to the little pile of parcels she had arranged by the bed. He held his own gift in his hands, savoring its weight as she opened hers one by one.

She had received an assortment of quills from the Lovegoods, and they were rather exotic looking. Matty smiled fondly as she read whatever was in the card and set the gift aside. She then opened one from Remus, which had a little silver chain bracelet that Sirius knew he must have been saving for up for quite some time. She put it on immediately, reading the card allowed.

"Matty, I know you won't be alone this Christmas, and it's hard for me to accept that, especially as this is our first Christmas apart in nearly thirteen years. I doubt I would be a welcome guest this year, so I send along my love and this gift, which made me think of your eyes. I hope this card finds you well and in good spirits, and I hope this time is everything you hoped it would be. Love, Remus."

Sirius momentarily wanted to rip Remus limb from limb for daring to use the word 'love' twice in the card, but Matty seemed to find it charming, so he calmed himself as she reached for the last package, which was wrapped incredibly similarly to the one he had in his own hands. Maëlle liked to watch her mother wrap boxes at Christmas, it seemed, and she had learned the technique with the same exactness as Matty had mastered at that age.

The girls had made a composite of their best marked essays and some detention notes, threw in a Gryffindor scarf, and a letter. Sirius flipped through the essays greedily as Matty read the letter aloud.

"Mother, Happy Christmas! We miss you, but it's very nice here at Hogwarts in the holidays. There aren't very many people here, but Harry Potter stayed over the break. Also, we can't remember if we told you about these twins, but there are these fifth year twins named Fred and George, and they're very nice. They gave us the idea for the collage of detention notices. Tien thought it was lovely. You'll notice she's in quite a few of them.

Fred and George play Quidditch, and they have a sister who's a second year, Ginny. She's very nice. And guess what? Their brother Ron is friends with Harry Potter! Anyway, we miss you a lot and hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Merryn wants you to know that the essays aren't representative of her true potential, and that Professor Binns is clearly not knowledgeable enough to teach and that Professor Snape simply doesn't understand or appreciate her sense of humor. Maëlle would like to note that Merryn likes to sleep in History of Magic, and that Professor Snape might appreciate Merryn's humor more if it didn't involve his hair, robes, or classroom. We would both like to apologize for the comments on the Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. Uncle Remus didn't grade the one on werewolves, but we did a good job and wanted you to see it. Happy Christmas! Love, Merryn and Maëlle."

Matty beamed down at the letter and said, "How are the essays, darling?"

"Amazing," he croaked. "Ellie has a couple of star charts in here and they're flawless. And her Herbology work, oh, Matty, she's a natural. Both of them, they're Herbology essays are fantastic. And Merryn, she's got my talent for Transfiguration. She's already got all of the complex theory figured out. And she's so eloquent, Matty, where did she learn to write like that?"

Matty smiled, looking over his shoulder.

"Well, she does have a journalist for a mother. That tends to help. Remus and I taught them to write a long time ago. Oh, Remus does have high expectations. What's this thing about werewolves, though? We didn't learn about werewolves in first year."

"I suspect," Sirius said thoughtfully, "that seeing as Remus didn't assign it, it was someone covering his classes during his time of the month. Who would Dumbledore have cover for him, do you think?"

Matty winced and said, "You know, I think it might be Snivellus. He certainly would do something underhanded, like try to expose Remus while he was out for the full moon. He probably expected some of the brighter students to figure it out, or maybe even Merryn and Elle, because they've been around him so much."

Despite Sirius being upset with Remus for his advances at Matty, he was always up for an excuse to be furious with Snape, and this was certainly more than a good excuse. Then, his eye caught a Potions essay and his lips twitched.

"Matty, listen to this: 'I don't know where it's grown, why it's grown, or what it's used in. I searched every book in the library because it wasn't in our texts, and when I asked Professor Lupin, he told me it didn't matter because I would never use it anyway, even in class, so I fail to see why I had to write this pointless essay, but I made sure it was two feet of writing so that you couldn't say I didn't try to at least meet the requirements. Thank you, Professor Snape, for making me waste fifteen hours on this essay. I feel like a much better Potions student for it.' She got a failing mark, of course, but his nasty little comments are almost incoherently angry. There should be a detention slip in there for it, from the tone of his writing."

Matty frowned down at the collage of detention notices.

"I don't see it. When did Merryn write this?"

Sirius grinned even wider.

"She didn't. It's Maëlle."

"_What?_" Matty gasped, snatching the parchment from him and staring down at the giant scrawl. "Oh, sweet Merlin, that cheeky little… Oh, Elle, for the love of… Oh, well I can't say it isn't brilliant. It's exactly what you would have done."

"Yes," he said with a satisfied sigh, "and Slughorn would have thought it the funniest thing in the world. Pity she got detention, but I daresay it was worth scrubbing pickled Erkling guts off the desks."

They laughed over the essays, finding several detention slips to correspond with some of the cheekier essays (typically for Potions), as well as detention slips for quite a variety of trouble making activities, often with Tien in conjunction.

"What's this one?" he asked, looking down at the slip in the upper left corner. "'Misses Clondon, Miss Vo, Mister Jordan, and Misters Fred and George Weasley, three Saturday detentions for fighting in the corridors. Detentions shall be commenced when all the responsible parties from Gryffindor are released from the hospital wing, which is expected to be in four days, by the estimation of Madam Pomfrey.' What's that all about?"

"I'm not sure," Matty said, biting her lip thoughtfully. "I'll owl Remus about it. I think I'll ask about that werewolf essay, as well."

"I have to say," Sirius murmured, kissing the side of her head, "they both did a scary good job on those werewolf essays. I mean, I recall werewolves being covered in the last term of third year, but they got almost all of the signs and symptoms, lots of the background information, and Ellie even wrote in little, tiny letters for three feet. These girls really are something."

"But Sirius," she said, dropping the collage, "you've not opened your present!"

"Oh," he muttered, looking down at the parcel and taking it in shaking hands, unwrapping it with uncharacteristic tenderness.

Inside was a framed picture, about twelve years old. It couldn't have been taken long before he was taken away to Azkaban, certainly after the Potters had made Peter their Secret-Keeper. Matty and Sirius were sitting in his kitchen, eating a dinner of roast chicken and playing a game of chess. Sirius was winning, and winning big, and Matty kept trying to cheat when he wasn't looking, distracting him with little tasks, but he kept catching her before she could pull anything off. Remembering that day, he realized the pieces kept yelling when she tried to reconfigure the board.

"It's one of my favorite pictures," she said softly. "Can you guess why?"

He thought back to that night.

"_Sirius, please, can't you just stop teasing me?"_

"_All I'm saying is, I don't know why you bother making nice dinners when you're going to sick it all up in the morning. You've been doing it all week."_

_She frowned at him._

"_And I'm telling you, I feel much better."_

"_And you've been saying that all week too," he said, amused. "I don't really mind. I like the food, but why don't you wait a full twenty-four hours like you're supposed to?"_

_She didn't answer him, merely let out a squeal of frustration as she realized there were no moves left for her in the chess game._

"_Checkmate," he said with a smug sort of smirk, and she just grumbled, opened a butterbeer, and left the room as her king was taken down by his bishop._

"_Sweetheart," he called after her, following her into the bedroom._

"_What?" she snapped, clearly not in the mood for what he was about to say._

"_If you feel sick in the morning, let me know so I can come hold your hair. We don't need to make a big mess of things."_

_Her frustrated shrieking was drowned out by his barks of laughter as she slammed the door. She was just being moody. It would pass once she was well again, he knew it. Besides, he had enough things to stress himself out over without focusing on her mood swings._

"Oh, Matty," he muttered, staring down at the little picture, watching her scowling at him in the photograph. Suddenly, everything from that week, everything from that night, was put in such a different perspective, and he realized he would never be able to look at roast chicken in quite the same way ever again.

For in that little, slightly faded photograph was the closest thing to a family picture he, Matty, and the girls had. In that photograph, Matty was already pregnant. Only days later, he would run off in the middle of the night, leaving her alone, pregnant, and scared. But in that one picture, that little moment in time, they were almost like a family. From the look in her eyes, she knew he understood, and they held each other tightly as they looked down at the picture, fondly remembering a time when cheating at wizards chess was a typical Thursday night.


	7. Murder: Take Two

"Remus replied," Matty said, watching him from the table as he stretched out in the bed on a January morning. "The werewolf essay was Snivelly's doing. And as far as the dueling in the hallways, some Slytherin third years shot a few hexes at Merryn in the halls for some reason, he wasn't sure what, and the three boys, who are Gryffindor fifth years, saw it and it sort of grew into a massive hallway fight. Merryn, Tien, and a boy called Lee Jordan, as well as a couple of Slytherin girls, all ended up in the hospital wing with relatively minor spell damage and about a dozen students received detentions."

"Hope the girls were responsible for those Slytherin girls being damaged," Sirius muttered. "I'd like to think they've gotten into the spirit of things already."

Matty rolled her eyes.

"I'm so glad you want our little girls to turn into the bullies you and James were. Perhaps they'll end up with your criminal record, as well."

He had a sharp intake of breath.

"I didn't mean that," she said softly. "I'm sorry Sirius. That was mean of me."

Once again, he exhaled the breath slowly, wrapping his arms around her to show he didn't blame her. Matty was mean. He loved her for it, even if it hurt sometimes.

Their days went by during the rest of break without much consequence. The girls sent no more letters, but their parents wouldn't have had time to read or respond, anyway. Not long after term started again, however, Matty received a letter from Remus once more, saying that he had started lessons with Harry, teaching him a Patronus Charm.

"He hears that night," she said softly glancing over the letter. "He hears the night they died, Sirius. That's the effect the dementors have on him."

"Me too," Sirius sighed. "That's what I see too."

For a moment, the pair of them sat in silence, thinking about Lily and James, reminiscing, not daring to make a sound.

"When did you know they were going to get married?" Matty said finally, getting up to make sandwiches.

"When she finally gave in to his pleading and went on a date with him," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "I knew that once he wore her down, she'd see that she was never going to find anyone more devoted than James. It was just a matter of when that day came. What about you?"

Matty frowned slightly and then said, "Well, I think it was probably when I first walked in on them snogging. I'd never seen two people more attuned to each other."

"You stayed and watched them?" he snorted. "You always were a kinky one, Matty."

"You know you would have done the same thing!" she teased, but he shook his head and barked with laughter.

"Maybe I would have," he finally conceded, "but I didn't. The fact remains that you're the one who did. I'm still pure in that respect."

Although he had watched her, or rather listened to her, sleeping with Remus, but that wasn't his own choice. If he'd had his way, he'd have been snapping Remus's neck instead.

"Oh, semantics," she said with a laugh, brushing it off. "When did you know we were going to be together?"

Sirius frowned.

"Honestly? I didn't. I knew I wanted you, more and differently than I'd ever wanted another girl. Then once I had you, the more I was with you, the less I wanted anything but you. There was never any point in time when I sat down and said to myself that we'd reached the point of no return and that we'd spend the rest of our lives together and have children and whatnot."

"There was a time," she whispered, "when I actually thought we were going to be together forever. I thought we'd get married, settle down. But then the Order happened and it didn't take me long to realize that it would take years for the great Sirius Black to be ready to settle down, stop throwing himself headlong into danger, always trying to be in the thick of things. It's a good thing I realized, or I would have hated you so much more for leaving me like you did."

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered, nuzzling her neck.

Matty shook her head and said, "Don't be. You wouldn't be you, otherwise. You wouldn't be the man I love."

He smiled at her a little.

"I think," he said, "I'm going to give it another go in about a month. The cat has told me he has an idea and will give me the key to the Tower soon."

Matty frowned, her nose wrinkling slightly.

"I think it's very strange that you're planning your break-in with a cat."

Sirius shrugged.

It was a bit strange, he had to admit to himself, but this cat wasn't just a cat. He had to be part Kneazle. There was really only the one explanation for it.

"Anyway, are you going to bring the knife this time?" Matty sighed, stretching out.

"How else am I going to kill the little rat?" Sirius snarled. "I haven't got a wand, and I wouldn't put it past him to horde one of the wands of the boys. I won't get a chance if I count on my bare hands."

"You can't throw a knife to save your life," she said with a snort.

It was true. Matty had tried to teach him once this particular talent of hers, and Sirius had never been able to get a hang of it, however he had managed to master it to the point of being more dangerous to his opponent than himself, and that was the main thing.

"With any luck," Sirius muttered, "I won't have to throw it. I'll slit his throat."

He couldn't keep the snarl out of his voice as he spat out the words. Matty gave him a sad but understanding sort of look and she nodded.

Two days later, an ugly, squashed-faced orange cat made its way into their bed, disrupting Sirius's sleep by licking his face with its rough tongue. Sirius groaned loudly, waking Matty, who shrieked with surprise at the sight of the hideous cat, Sirius's partner in crime.

The cat dropped a little slip of parchment in front of Sirius, covered in words… passwords. He told Sirius (once he had changed into dog form) that he had gotten it from a boy's nightstand. Sirius would be going to the castle that night, and this time he would not fail. Peter would be dead.

That evening, Matty and Sirius curled up in bed, just holding each other for a long time. It wouldn't be the last time, Sirius swore to himself. After that night, it would all be over. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel her fear as she trembled in his arms. While he knew Matty had faith in him, it was hard not to be afraid, just a little bit.

But Sirius had learned in the war that fear wasn't always a bad thing. Fear could keep a man alive, if he kept his wits about him, anyway. If one lost their wits, no amount of fear and only a great amount of luck could save them.

"All right," he said, looking down at the little scrap of parchment. "I've got the passwords, I've got my knife… do I need anything else?"

Matty gave him a sad sort of smile, kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Be safe, love."

He hugged her tightly, kissed her lips gently and sighed, "I'll be back, soon, Matty. I love you."

"I love you too," she muttered, burying her face into his chest as she wrapped her arms around him.

Sirius shifted into dog form, making his way down stairs, through the passageway, across the grounds, into the castle, and up the stairs, through several shortcuts, up to Gryffindor Tower.

It wasn't the Fat Lady, which was a good thing, because she wouldn't have hesitated to call for Dumbledore a second time. No, this was a portrait he had only seen a few times, on late night escapades with Matty to the furthest corners of the upper parts of the castle: Sir Cadogan.

"Hello," he said, shifting into human form.

"Password?" Sir Cadogan demanded nobly, much in the same way the Fat Lady had on Halloween.

Sirius read off the list until Sir Cadogan swung forward, admitting him to the familiar Gryffindor common room. It was deserted, but there were clear signs that a party (likely a Quidditch celebration), had just ended, maybe only an hour ago, perhaps two… He looked quickly around to be sure, but it was definitely empty.

The boy who "owned" Peter would be Harry's year, so they would be in the fifth year boys' dormitory. Boys… he went up the staircase on the left, creeping upward slowly. Someone in the second year snored incredibly loudly…

Fifth years. Sirius gently pressed on the door after turning the handle. It didn't creak. They must have fixed that since his fifth year. The number of times he'd snuck back late at night and wake up half the room…

Five of them. That wasn't surprising: Hogwarts had had four to six of each gender in each House for as long as Sirius could remember, although he knew they had had more and less at other points in history.

So… which one was the ginger?

From what he remembered, the article had said that the boy was a Weasley… Yes, that was right. His trunk would be a hand-me-down… Ah, there it was.

On the bedside table was a half-finished essay that said 'Ronald Weasley' at the top. Perfect.

He would have to catch Peter by surprise… Otherwise, he would scurry off before Sirius got a chance, and rats were incredibly quick.

With a deep breath, Sirius ripped the curtain to the side. There was the boy, the ginger hair… where was the rat? Had Peter known he was coming and split? But how would he have known?

But the boy turned over groggily, probably feeling the cool air on his back and the thought was pushed to the side.

The boy screamed and Sirius did the only thing he could do: run.

He ran down the stairs out to the hall, turned into a dog again, and scampered away out of the castle, back to the Whomping Willow, through the passageway, up to the second floor, where Matty was sleeping peacefully on the bed. He transformed back into a human sighed heavily, panting to catch his breath, and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so sorry, love," he whispered sadly. "I've failed again."

She stirred and blinked up at him, smiling when she saw him.

"I he dead, love?" she said. "Did you get him?"

"No," he whimpered. "He wasn't there. He gave me the slip, and the boy woke up as I was looking for him. I had to run when he started screaming. I couldn't hurt him. It's not his fault he's got that treacherous scum as a pet."

Matty's smile slipped off her face and she bit her lip.

"What are you going to do now? You know they're going to increase security."

"I don't know," he growled. "We'll have to think of something. Peter's a bit cleverer than I ever gave him credit for, that's for certain."

"The best and worst of people come out when their lives are in danger."

He nodded.

"I just wish he was that little boy again," Sirius sighed. "You know, the one who followed us around and was always sincere and eager and kind. Do you think he ever was that boy, or do you think he just sucks up to the highest bidder by nature?"

Matty wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.

"I think," she whispered, "that he's a very sad, scared man who's lost touch with what's important in life long ago."

Of course he was, and Sirius knew it, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was any way to bring back the sweet boy Peter had once been. But then, Sirius wasn't the same as he had been the, either. He was no longer a reckless teenager.

Actually, he really was, he was just a bit older. And that was probably even more frightening. How was he supposed to raise two daughters when he was still a reckless teenager himself inside? What sort of a father was that, who couldn't even keep his own head and make his own decisions?

Remus didn't check on her again that night, which was good, because Sirius didn't think he could have loosed his grip on her that night if his life depended on it. He needed her. She was his last line to sanity, the one thing he'd done right, and he couldn't have just stepped into the cupboard because he would have fallen to pieces for that brief time. It wouldn't have been the same. She wasn't mad at him. But that didn't matter. It would have hurt just as badly.

The next evening, a letter arrived from the girls.

"Apparently, Sirius Black broke into Gryffindor Tower last night," Matty said with an amused smile she was struggling to fight. "It seems he pulled a knife on a fifth year boy, but the boy woke before Black could kill him and Black ran away, terrified of McGonagall."

"Well, they've got that part right," muttered Sirius cheekily, kissing Matty.

"It seems the Fat Lady's back guarding the portrait hole," Matty continued, "and they've got security trolls guarding her."

"Well," Sirius sighed, "that's the end of that, then. I've got to figure out another way to get that rat."

At the end of the week, an opportunity seems to present itself.

"It seems Hagrid's hippogriff has been slated for execution," Matty said sadly, reading a letter from Remus. "That poor man. That poor, sweet man. I imagine he's devastated. I wish there were something I could do."

But Sirius froze, then perked up and said, "Didn't you say that Harry and his friends were friends with Hagrid?"

"Yes," Matty said slowly, clearly not following.

"I'll get Peter then!" he cried. "They'll sneak down to comfort Hagrid, and on the way back up I'll grab the red-haired boy and get Peter!"

Matty hesitated.

"That's a bit – risky, don't you think?"

"What, and breaking into Gryffindor Tower with naught but a knife wasn't?" he shot back, smirking at her. "I take risks. It's part of why you love me."

"It _was_ part of why I was infatuated with you," she said sternly. "Now I'm a mother, and risk-taking is far less of a priority in a mate. I love you for entirely different reasons."

"Like what?" Sirius said, poking her side playfully.

"Like the fact that I'm too silly to know better," she teased, kissing his cheek.

"A miracle, that is," Sirius sighed, wrapping his arms around her and nestling her softly, "but I suppose I'll take what I can get."

And they made love once again, enjoying their time they still had together, knowing that any day could be the last they would have that way, curled up in each other's arms like kittens.

Sirius grew more and more anxious with each passing day, eagerly awaiting the day he could snatch up Peter and earn his redemption. He wanted so badly to be the father he should have been for twelve years, the father only his innocence could allow him to be.

It wasn't long at all after the Easter holidays when the girls sent excited news: Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup. Sirius and Matty celebrated with an unusually hardy round of sex and then Matty wrote a far tamer congratulatory note to the girls, telling them a few brief stories about the years they had won back in her days at school, which James had made sure they had done plenty of times.

"Ask them when the appeal is," Sirius urged, but Matty refused.

"I'm not asking my girls to enquire after an animal execution," she hissed at him. "That's sick."

"Well, write Remus, then," he sighed, waving his hands absently.

"You do realize that if I ask Remus, he'll know I'm asking because of you and he'll be on alert that night," she pointed out.

Sirius snorted and replied, "Matty, darling, if Harry is as good of friends with Hagrid as we're banking on, he'll be on alert anyway. I don't see how this could change anything. Besides, with any luck it will fall on a full moon and he won't be able to interfere. Just ask."

Matty grumbled, complained, and moped about it, but she finally came to the agreement to write to Remus. When both letters were written and sent off, Matty and Sirius curled up together on the bed and just talked for a while, mostly about the girls. They were Sirius's favorite topic.

"What sort of shoes do they like?" he whispered, petting Matty's hair.

"Tennis shoes, mostly, although Merryn has taken a surprising interest in dress shoes, that I thought her sister was going to have but doesn't show any signs of. I'm telling you, Sirius, Merryn's going to be a little heartbreaker like her father someday."

"Or like her mother," Sirius whispered. "I seem to remember you being quite the little heartbreaker too, darling."

Matty laughed and said, "Sure, Sirius, whatever you say. Anyway, when this is all over, I'm sure you'll be able to threaten her boyfriends. I'm sure you'll enjoy that."

"Boyfriends?" Sirius laughed. "She's not dating until she's married, darling. You can be sure of that. I was a teenaged boy once, I know how they think, and they all want one thing. Let me tell you, they're not getting it, not from my little girls."

Matty snorted and said, "Whatever you say, dear. Whatever you say."


	8. The Rat Discovered

**A/N: Much of the next few chapters will be dialogue from J.K. Rowling's own work… I DON'T OWN THIS DIALOGUE. I don't even own any of the lovely characters in these coming scenes except for Matty Clondon and her wonderful sassy sexiness. THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: **_**AikoRose**_**, one of my most faithful readers and reviewers who just reviewed this story and added it to her alerts and favorites. Here's that update you asked for! I beg your indulgence at the chapter break here, but the chapter was quite long enough for my taste, and if the chapter break was good enough for Rowling, it's more than good enough for me. Cheers!**

**-J**

The days melted easily through spring into summer, and at the beginning of June, the same week slated for the execution of the hippogriff, according to Remus, the same week as the full moon, was the week of exams. The girls sent their mother constant updates on their exam progress, how they thought they did, what they thought of the tests, and how they felt about coming home and seeing her again. When they wrote about how much they missed her, Matty broke down in tears, and Sirius had to rock her for hours to get her to calm down enough to respond to the letter.

On the last night of the exams, the time had finally come. Sirius transformed into his dog form and Matty waited patiently in the second floor bedroom, fully dressed, expecting that Sirius would bring at least Peter back with him. After all, he couldn't kill the slimey traitor in the middle of Hogwarts grounds. The dementors would be closing in before he got a chance to explain.

It didn't take Sirius long to find the red-haired boy, who was trying to console a squirming Peter, who could probably smell Sirius in his dog form, ready for the strike. Well, Peter was many things, but had proved twelve years ago that he wasn't as stupid as they'd thought for so long. Sirius pounced, dragging the redhead and his struggling rat into the Whomping Willow passage, despite the screams of his companions, and injuring the leg of the redhead in the process. When he got them up to the second floor, Matty helped a very confused Ronald Weasley onto the bed and considered his leg as Sirius shifted back into human form.

And the redhead screamed.

Matty sighed.

"Way to go, Sirius. You just had to change, didn't you? You couldn't wait for me to explain, could you? You know, they'll be here, soon, the others, if he's anything like his father."

The redhead began whimpering and muttering under his breath as if trying to come to terms with what he had seen and his fear, but they heard footsteps and Sirius hid behind the open door to the room. Matty rolled her eyes, knowing she shouldn't get in the way of Sirius's plan, and crawled into the wardrobe he had hidden in when Remus had come to visit.

The ugly orange cat came in first, purring loudly at the sight of the room, curling up on the bed. Then came Harry and the bushy-haired girl, rushing across to their injured friend.

"Ron — are you okay?"

"Where's the dog?"

"Not a dog," the one called Ron moaned. His teeth were gritted with pain.

"Harry, it's a trap —"

"What —"

"He's the dog… he's an Animagus…"

Harry turned around just in time to see Sirius snap the door shut.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Sirius managed to say, pointing the wand of the redhead at the other two. He caught the wands easily and moved toward Harry.

"I thought you'd come and help your friend," he said hoarsely. Only now that he was hearing the voices of the children did he realize just how little use his own got with Matty. They were always doing other things that rarely required talking. "Your father would have done the same for me. Brave of you, not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful… it will make everything much easier…"

Harry started toward him, but his friends held him back, the girl hissing, "No, Harry!" but the boy turned toward Sirius.

"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!" he said fiercely, though the effort of standing upright was draining him of still more color, and he swayed slightly as he spoke.

Sirius looked at him, remembering when Matty had broken her arm when they were kids and tried to keep lifting things with it all day, refusing to see Madam Pomfrey until she'd gotten her homework done, despite all of the heavy books. She caused so much damage through the day that Madam Pomfrey kept her overnight and she had to let Sirius carry her books around for a week, despite her absolute aversion to letting him carry her things.

"Lie down," he said quietly to the redhead. "You will damage that leg even more."

"Did you hear me?" the redhead said weakly, though he was clinging to Harry to stay upright. "You'll have to kill all three of us!"

"There'll be only one murder here tonight," said Sirius, and he grinned widely, knowing the moment to get his revenge on Peter was finally near.

"Why's that?" Harry spat, trying to wrench himself free of the other two. "Didn't care last time, did you? Didn't mind slaughtering all those Muggles to get at Pettigrew… What's the matter, gone soft in Azkaban?"

"Harry!" Hermione whimpered. "Be quiet!"

"HE KILLED MY MUM AND DAD!" Harry roared, and with a huge effort he broke free of the other two, lunging straight for Sirius. Sirius didn't bother raising his hands in defense, and Harry caught the wrist that held the wands in one hand, punching Sirius across the face with the other, causing them both to topple back into the wall with the momentum of the swing. There was screaming and yelling and sparks and Sirius was being punched repeatedly as he struggled to free himself from Harry's onslaught, finally finding his throat.

"No," he hissed, "I've waited too long —"

He began to choke Harry just a bit, just to get him to let up, but the bushy-haired girl kicked Sirius hard, and he released Harry just as the redhead lunged at Sirius's wand arm and the wands fell. Harry was making his way to the wands…

"Argh!"

The ugly orange cat had gotten in on the fight, sinking his claws into Harry's arm, getting tossed aside, but then making a mad dash for one of the wands…

"NO YOU DON'T!" roared Harry, and he aimed a kick that made the cat leap aside, spitting; Harry snatched up a wand and turned —

"Get out of the way!" he shouted at the other two.

They obeyed immediately, both looking rather worse for wear, and the redhead was actually a nasty shade of green. Sirius was still at the bottom of the wall, watching Harry approach. The boy's wand was pointed at Sirius's chest, and he couldn't help but feel just a bit amused, knowing Matty would intervene before anything happened to him.

"Going to kill me, Harry?" he whispered.

Harry stopped right above him, his wand still pointing at Sirius's chest, looking down at him. Sirius didn't want to think about how bad his own wounds were, after looking at just the bushy-haired girl, who had barely been in the fight at all, and certainly hadn't taken a fist straight across the face.

"You killed my parents," said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady.

Sirius just stared up at him, thinking over his conversations with Matty on the loss of Lily and James, of everybody they had ever cared about except Remus.

"I don't deny it," he said very quietly. "But if you knew the whole story."

"The whole story?" Harry repeated. "You sold them to Voldemort. That's all I need to know."

"You've got to listen to me," Sirius implored. "You'll regret it if you don't… You don't understand…"

"I understand a lot better than you think," said Harry, and his voice shook more than ever. "You never heard her, did you? My mum… trying to stop Voldemort killing me… and you did that… you did it…"

Before either of them could say another word, something ginger streaked past Harry; the ugly leapt onto Sirius's chest and settle himself there, right over Sirius's heart. Sirius blinked and looked down at the cat, musing to himself how funny it was that the cat was willing to save him when even Matty was still crouching in the wardrobe. Did she not see that Harry was going to kill him?

"Get off," he murmured, trying to push the cat off him. But gingery furball sank his claws into Sirius's robes and wouldn't shift. He turned his ugly, squashed face to Harry and looked up at him with those great yellow eyes. To Harry's right, the bushy-haired girl gave a dry sob.

After a moment's hesitation, Harry raised the wand. It would be a great time for Matty to come out of the wardrobe, but still no sign of her… Had she disappeared?

The seconds lengthened. And still Harry stood frozen there, wand poised, Sirius staring up at him, the ginger cat on his chest. The redhead's ragged breathing came from near the bed; the bushy-haired girl was quite silent. Suddenly Sirius realized that Matty wasn't coming to his rescue because he didn't need to be rescued… Harry didn't have the heart to kill him.

And then came a new sound —

Muffled footsteps were echoing up through the floor — someone was moving downstairs.

"WE'RE UP HERE!" the bushy-haired girl screamed suddenly. "WE'RE UP HERE — SIRIUS BLACK — QUICK!"

Sirius made a startled movement that almost dislodged the ugly cat; Harry gripped his wand convulsively but still did nothing.

The door of the room burst open in a shower of red sparks and Harry wheeled around as Remus Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face bloodless, his wand raised and ready. His eyes flickered over the redhead, lying on the floor, over the bushy-haired girl, cowering next to the door, to Harry, standing there with his wand covering Sirius, and then to Sirius himself, crumpled and bleeding at Harry's feet.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Remus shouted.

Harry's wand flew once more out of his hand; so did the two the girl was holding. Remus caught them all, then moved into the room, staring at Sirius, who still had the ugly gingered cat lying protectively across his chest.

Then Remus spoke, in a very tense voice.

"Where is she, Sirius?"

Sirius pointed with a shaky finger and Matty came out of the wardrobe, smiling sheepishly at Remus, who breathed a sigh of relief. Sirius had been right to think that apart from assessing the situation in the room, Remus had been scanning the room for Matty.

"And where is he?" Remus said softly.

Matty and Sirius exchanged a look, Sirius nodded at her, and for a few seconds she didn't move, but then she pointed straight at Ron, and the children all exchanged bewildered looks.

"But then…," Remus muttered, staring at Sirius so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind, "… why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless" — Remus's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Sirius, something none of the rest could see, "— unless he was the one… unless you switched… without telling us?"

Very slowly, Sirius nodded.

"Professor," Harry interrupted loudly, "what's going on — ?"

But his question cut off at the sight of Remus lowering his wand and looking down at Sirius, then at Matty, then back at Sirius, walking over to Sirius and taking his hand, pulling him up to his feet so that the ugly gingered cat fell down to the floor embraced Sirius.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," Remus said hoarsely. "I'm so sorry, I know you must have seen everything and I'm so sorry. She was yours, and I knew it, and I–"

"It's fine," Sirius lied. "It's fine, Remus. You know what she's like. She was mad at me and you know what she's like when she's mad at me…"

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" the bushy-haired girl screamed.

Remus let go of Sirius and turned to her. She had raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Remus, wild-eyed. "You — you —"

"Hermione —"

" — you and him!"

"Hermione, calm down —"

"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you —"

"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Remus shouted. "I can explain —"

"I trusted you," Harry shouted at Remus, his voice wavering out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!"

"You're wrong," said Remus. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, incredibly far from it, but I am now— Let me explain…"

"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too — he's a werewolf !"

There was a ringing silence. Everyone's eyes were now on Remus, who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale.

"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione," he said. "Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead…" An odd shiver passed over his face. "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf."

The redhead made an effort to get up again but fell back with a whimper of pain. Remus made toward him, looking concerned, but the boy gasped, "_Get away from me, werewolf!_"

Remus stopped dead. Then, with an obvious effort, he turned to Hermione and said, "How long have you known?"

"Ages," Hermione whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay…"

"He'll be delighted," said Remus coolly. "He assigned that essay hoping someone would realize what my symptoms meant… Did you check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?"

"Both," Hermione said quietly.

Remus forced a laugh and Sirius didn't miss the look of pain on Matty's face at the sound. Whatever Sirius told himself, she did care very much about him, and always had.

"You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione."

"I'm not," Hermione whispered. "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!"

"But they already know," said Remus. "At least, the staff do."

"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf?" Ron gasped. "Is he mad?"

"Some of the staff thought so," said Remus. "He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy —"

"AND HE WAS WRONG!" Harry yelled. "YOU'VE BEEN HELPING HIM ALL THE TIME!" He was pointing at Sirius, who crossed to the four-poster bed and sank onto it, his face hidden in one shaking hand. Matty rushed to sit beside him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his forehead gently. The gingered cat leapt up beside them and stepped onto his lap, purring. The redhead edged away from all three of them, dragging his leg.

"I have not been helping Sirius," said Remus. "If you'll give me a chance, I'll explain. Look —"

He separated the three wands and threw them back to their owners, each catching them, stunned.

"There," said Remus, sticking his own wand back into his belt. "You're armed, we're not. Now will you listen?"

"If you haven't been helping him," Harry said, with a furious glance at Sirius, "how did you know he was here?"

"The map," said Remus. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it —"

"You know how to work it?" Harry said suspiciously.

"Of course I know how to work it," said Matty impatiently. "He helped write it. I'm Moony — that was our nickname for him at school."

"You wrote — ?"

"The important thing is, I was watching it carefully this evening, because I had an idea that you, Ron, and Hermione might try and sneak out of the castle to visit Hagrid before his hippogriff was executed. And I was right, wasn't I?"

He had started to pace up and down, looking at them. Little patches of dust rose at his feet.

"You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry —"

"How d'you know about the cloak?"

"The number of times I saw James disappearing under it…," said Remus, waving an impatient hand. "The point is, even if you're wearing an Invisibility Cloak, you still show up on the Marauder's Map. I watched you cross the grounds and enter Hagrid's hut. Twenty minutes later, you left Hagrid, and set off back toward the castle. But you were now accompanied by somebody else."

"What?" said Harry. "No, we weren't!"

"I couldn't believe my eyes," said Remus, still pacing, and ignoring Harry's interruption. "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?"

"No one was with us!" said Harry.

"And then I saw another dot, moving fast toward you, labeled Sirius Black… I saw him collide with you; I watched as he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow —"

"One of us!" the redhead said angrily.

"No, Ron," said Remus. "Two of you."

He had stopped his pacing, his eyes moving over Ron.

"Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.

"What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"

"Everything," said Remus. "Could I see him, please?"

Ron hesitated, then put a hand inside his robes. The rat, Peter, emerged, thrashing desperately; Ron had to seize his long bald tail to stop him escaping. The ugly gingered cat stood up on Sirius's leg and made a soft hissing noise.

Remus moved closer to Ron. He seemed to be holding his breath as he gazed intently at the rat.

"What?" Ron said again, holding the rat close to him, looking scared. "What's my rat got to do with anything?"

"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius.

"What d'you mean — of course he's a rat —"

"No, he's not," said Remus quietly. "He's a wizard."

"An Animagus," said Matty softly, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew."


	9. Peter

Sirius could see the confusion and horror on the faces of the children as they worked through this new bit of information. Then Ron, the redhead, spoke first.

"You're both mental."

"Ridiculous!" said Hermione faintly.

"Peter Pettigrew's dead !" said Harry. "He killed him twelve years ago!" He pointed at Sirius, whose face twitched convulsively.

"I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Peter got the better of me… not this time, though!"

And the cat was thrown to the floor as Sirius lunged at Peter; Ron yelled with pain as Sirius's weight fell on his broken leg.

"Sirius, NO!" Matty yelled, launching himself forwards and with Remus and the two of the dragging Sirius away from Ron again, "WAIT! You can't do it just like that — they need to understand — we've got to explain —"

"We can explain afterwards!" snarled Sirius, trying to throw the pair of them off. They didn't understand, neither of them. They hadn't been in that place, they hadn't known the truth all those years, they couldn't possibly understand. One hand was still clawing the air as it tried to reach Peter, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron's face and neck as he tried to escape.

"They've — got — a — right — to — know — everything!" Remus panted, still trying to restrain Black. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand! And Harry — you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"

Sirius stopped struggling, though his hollowed eyes were still fixed on Peter, who was clamped tightly under Ron's bitten, scratched, and bleeding hands.

"All right, then," Sirius said, without taking his eyes off the rat. "Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for…"

"You're nutters, all of you," said Ron shakily, looking round at Harry and Hermione for support. "I've had enough of this. I'm off."

He tried to heave himself up on his good leg, but Matty raised her wand, pointing it at Peter.

"You're going to hear me out, Ron," Remus said quietly. "Just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen."

"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled, trying to force the rat back into his front pocket, but Peter was fighting too hard; Ron swayed and overbalanced, and Harry caught him and pushed him back down to the bed. Then, ignoring Sirius and Matty, Harry turned to Remus.

"There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die," he said. "A whole street full of them…"

"They didn't see what they thought they saw!" said Sirius savagely, still watching Peter struggling in Ron's hands.

"Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter," said Remus, nodding. "Matty believed it for years, until Sirius found her and explained the truth. Oh, you haven't met, by the way, this is Matty Clondon. She was at school with us, dated Sirius for years. Their daughters are in Gryffindor. First years. I believe you've met them, Hermione? Anyway, I believed it myself — until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's map never lies… Peter's alive. Ron's holding him, Harry."

Then Hermione spoke, in a trembling, would-be calm sort of voice, as though trying to will Remus to talk sensibly.

"But Professor Lupin… Scabbers can't be Pettigrew… it just can't be true, you know it can't…"

"Why can't it be true?" Remus said calmly, as though they were in class, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with grindylows. It wasn't hard at all for Sirius to picture Remus as a professor.

"Because… because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework — the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things… and I went and looked Professor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been only seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list —"

Matty and Remus laughed.

"Right again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that there used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts."

"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus," snarled Sirius, who was still watching Scabbers's every desperate move. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer."

"All right… but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Remus, "I only know how it began…"

Remus broke off. There had been a loud creak behind him. The bedroom door had opened of its own accord. All six of them stared at it. Then Matty strode toward it and looked out into the landing.

"No one there…"

"This place is haunted!" said Ron.

"It's not," said Matty, still looking at the door in a puzzled way. "The Shrieking Shack was never haunted… The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by Remus."

Sirius could barely contain his grin at the note that she didn't mention her own screams and howls, but he supposed they were only thirteen.

Remus pushed his graying hair out of his eyes, thought for a moment, then said, "That's where all of this starts — with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitten… and if I hadn't been so foolhardy…"

He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione said, "Shh!" She was watching Remus very intently.

"I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform… I am able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again.

"Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully-fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me.

"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school…" Lupin sighed, and looked directly at Harry. "I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. This house" — Lupin looked miserably around the room, — "the tunnel that leads to it — they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous."

The only sound apart from Remus's voice was Peter's frightened squeaking.

"My transformations in those days were — were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor… Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don't dare approach it…

"But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black… Peter Pettigrew… and, of course, your father, Harry — James Potter.

"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her… I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth…

"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi."

"My dad too?" said Harry, astounded.

"Yes, indeed," said Remus. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong — one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."

"But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled.

"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," said Remus. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed… Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them."

"Hurry up, Remus," said Matty, who was looking at Sirius, who was still watching Peter hungrily.

"I'm getting there, Matty, I'm getting there… well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did. . . . And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs."

"What sort of animal — ?" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off.

"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"

"A thought that still haunts me," said Remus heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness."

"I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course… he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed…"

Remus's face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice.

"All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me… and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it… so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along."

"Snape," Sirius growled.

"He's here, Sirius," said Remus heavily. "He's teaching here as well, but you probably knew that from Matty's letters, didn't you?" He looked up at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons… you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —"

Matty made a derisive noise.

"It served him right," she sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what you were up to… hoping he could get us all expelled…"

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Remus told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field… anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be — er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it — if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf — but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life… Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was…"

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Remus and Matty.

Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Remus.

Hermione screamed. Sirius leapt to his feet, stepping between Matty and Snape.

"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow," said Snape, throwing the cloak aside, careful to keep this wand pointing directly at Remus's chest. "Very useful, Potter, I thank you…"

Snape was slightly breathless, but his face was full of suppressed triumph. "You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here?" he said, his eyes glittering. "I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did… lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know. I saw you running along this passageway and out of sight."

"Severus —" Remus began, but Snape overrode him.

"I've told the headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout —"

"Severus, you're making a mistake," said Remus urgently. "You haven't heard everything — I can explain — Sirius is not here to kill Harry —"

"Oh, hello, Clondon," Snape said, looking at Matty with shining eyes. "Should have known you'd be here, what with your lover finally making his move. You must be so proud."

"Not as proud as I am to know that you're still a prize idiot, Snape," Matty snarled back. "Tell me, did you enjoy that essay from our beautiful little girl?"

He twitched angrily.

"Three more for Azkaban tonight," said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically. "I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this… He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin… a tame werewolf —"

"You fool," said Lupin softly. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

BANG! Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape's wand and twisted themselves around Remus's mouth, wrists, and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. Matty screamed. With a roar of rage, Sirius started toward Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Matty's eyes.

"Give me a reason," he whispered. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will."

Sirius stopped dead. It would have been impossible to say which face showed more hatred.

Hermione took an uncertain step toward Snape and said, in a very breathless voice, "Professor Snape — it — it wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w — would it?"

"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from this school," Snape spat. "You, Potter, and Weasley are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue."

"But if — if there was a mistake —"

"KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" Snape shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out of the end of his wand, which was still pointed at Matty's face. Hermione fell silent.

"Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Sirius. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you…"

"The joke's on you again, Severus," Sirius snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle" — he jerked his head at Ron — "I'll come quietly… Leave Matty out of this…"

"Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black… pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay…"

Sirius could feel his whole body going cold and Matty gave a little whimper.

"You — you've got to hear me out," he croaked. "The rat — look at the rat —"

But there was a mad glint in Snape's eyes that Matty hadn't seen in anyone in years. He seemed beyond reason.

"Come on, all of you," he said. He clicked his fingers, and the ends of the cords that bound Remus flew to his hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the dementors will have a kiss for him too —"

Before anyone realized what he was doing, Harry had crossed the room in three strides and blocked the door.

"Get out of the way, Potter, you're in enough trouble already," snarled Snape. "If I hadn't been here to save your skin —"

"Professor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year," Harry said. "I've been alone with him loads of times, having defense lessons against the dementors. If he was helping Black, why didn't he just finish me off then?"

"Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf 's mind works," hissed Snape. "Get out of the way, Potter."

"YOU'RE PATHETIC!" Harry yelled. "JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN —"

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape shrieked, looking madder than ever. "Like father, like son, Potter! I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee! You would have been well served if he'd killed you! You'd have died like your father, too arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black — now get out of the way, or I will make you. GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!"

Before Snape could take even one step toward him, Harry had raised his wand.

"_Expelliarmus!_" he yelled — except that his wasn't the only voice that shouted. There was a blast that made the door rattle on its hinges; Snape was lifted off his feet and slammed into the wall, then slid down it to the floor, a trickle of blood oozing from under his hair. He had been knocked out.

Sirius looked around. Both Ron and Hermione had tried to disarm Snape at exactly the same moment. Snape's wand soared in a high arc and landed on the bed next to the hideous cat.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Matty, looking at Harry. "You should have left him to us…"

Harry avoided Matty's eyes.

"We attacked a teacher…. We attacked a teacher…," Hermione whimpered, staring at the lifeless Snape with frightened eyes. "Oh, we're going to be in so much trouble —"

Remus was struggling against his bonds. Matty and Sirius bent down quickly and untied him. Remus straightened up, rubbing his arms where the ropes had cut into them.

"Thank you, Harry," he said.

"I'm still not saying I believe you," he told Remus.

"Then it's time we offered you some proof," said Matty. "You, boy — give me Peter, please. Now."

Ron clutched Peter closer to his chest.

"Come off it," he said weakly. "Are you trying to say he broke out of Azkaban just to get his hands on Scabbers? I mean…" He looked up at Harry and Hermione for support, "Okay, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat — there are millions of rats — how's he supposed to know which one he's after if he was locked up in Azkaban?"

"You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," said Remus, turning to Sirius and frowning slightly. "How did you find out where he was?"

Sirius put one of his hands inside his robes and took out a crumpled piece of paper, which he smoothed flat and held out to show the others.

It was the photograph of Weasley family that had appeared in the _Daily Prophet_ the previous summer, and there, on Ron's shoulder, was Peter.

"How did you get this?" Remus asked Sirius, thunderstruck.

"Fudge," said Sirius. "When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page… on this boy's shoulder…. I knew him at once… how many times had I seen him transform? And the caption said the boy would be going back to Hogwarts… to where Harry was…."

"My God," said Remus softly, staring from Peter to the picture in the paper and back again. "His front paw…"

"What about it?" said Ron defiantly.

"He's got a toe missing," said Matty.

"Of course," Remus breathed. "So simple… so brilliant… he cut it off himself?"

"Just before he transformed," said Sirius. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself — and sped down into the sewer with the other rats…"

"Didn't you ever hear, Ron?" said Matty. "The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger."

"Look, Scabbers probably had a fight with another rat or something! He's been in my family for ages, right —"

"Twelve years, in fact," said Remus. "Didn't you ever wonder why he was living so long?"

"We — we've been taking good care of him!" said Ron.

"Not looking too good at the moment, though, is he?" said Matty. "I'd guess he's been losing weight ever since he heard Sirius was on the loose again…."

"He's been scared of that mad cat!" said Ron, nodding toward the ginger furball, who was still purring on the bed.

"This cat isn't mad," said Sirius hoarsely. He reached out and stroked the cat's fluffy head. "He's the most intelligent of his kind I've ever met. He recognized Peter for what he was right away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me…. Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he's been helping me…."

"What do you mean?" breathed Hermione.

"He tried to bring Peter to me, but couldn't… so he stole the passwords into Gryffindor Tower for me…. As I understand it, he took them from a boy's bedside table…."

Sirius shook his head.

"But Peter got wind of what was going on and ran for it…." croaked Sirius. "This cat — Crookshanks, did you call him? — told me Peter had left blood on the sheets…. I supposed he bit himself…. Well, faking his own death had worked once…."

"And why did he fake his death?" Harry said furiously. "Because he knew you were about to kill him like you killed my parents!"

"No," said Matty, "Harry —"

"And now you've come to finish him off!"

"Yes, I have," said Sirius, turning back to Peter with hunger.

"Then I should've let Snape take you!" Harry shouted.

"Harry," said Remus hurriedly, "don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down — but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father — Sirius tracked Peter down —"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Harry yelled. "HE WAS THEIR SECRET-KEEPER! HE SAID SO BEFORE YOU TURNED UP. HE SAID HE KILLED THEM!"

He was pointing at Sirius, who shook his head slowly.

"Harry… I as good as killed them," he croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me…. I'm to blame, I know it…. The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, leaving Matty all alone without knowing where I actually was, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies…. I realized what Peter must've done… what I'd done…."

His voice broke. He turned away.

"Enough of this," said Matty, and there was firmness in her voice that Sirius only heard when she was angry. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Ron, give me that rat."

"What are you going to do with him if I give him to you?" Ron asked Matty tensely.

"Force him to show himself," said Matty. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him."

Ron hesitated. Then at long last, he held out Peter and Matty took him. Peter began to squeak without stopping, twisting and turning, his tiny black eyes bulging in his head.

"Ready, boys?" said Matty.

Sirius had already retrieved Snape's wand from the bed. He approached Matty and Remus and the struggling rat.

"Together?" he said quietly.

"I think so," said Matty, holding Scabbers tightly in one hand and her wand in the other. "On the count of three. One — two — THREE!"

A flash of blue-white light erupted from the three wands; for a moment, the rat was frozen in midair, his small gray form twisting madly — Ron yelled — the rat fell and hit the floor. There was another blinding flash of light and then —

It was like watching a speeded-up film of a growing tree. A head was shooting upward from the ground; limbs were sprouting; a moment later, a man was standing where the rat had been, cringing and wringing his hands. Crookshanks was spitting and snarling on the bed; the hair on his back was standing up.

He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry and Hermione. His thin, colorless hair was unkempt and there was a large bald patch on top. He had the shrunken appearance of a plump man who has lost a lot of weight in a short time. His skin looked grubby, almost like Scabbers's fur, and something of the rat lingered around his pointed nose and his very small, watery eyes.

He looked around at them all, his breathing fast and shallow. Sirius saw his eyes dart to the door and back again.

"Well, hello, Peter," said Lupin pleasantly, as though rats frequently erupted into old school friends around him. "Long time, no see."

"S — Sirius… R — Remus… M-M-Matty…" Even Peter's voice was squeaky. Again, his eyes darted toward the door. "My friends… my old friends….."

Sirius's wand arm rose, but Matty seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, then turned again to Peter, her voice light and casual.

"We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died. You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there on the bed —"

"Matty," gasped Peter, and Sirius could see beads of sweat breaking out over his pasty face, "you don't believe him, do you…? He tried to kill me, Matty…."

"So we've heard," said Remus, coldly. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'd be so —"

"He's come to try and kill me again!" Peter squeaked suddenly, pointing at Sirius, and they could all see that he used his middle finger, because his index was missing. "He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too…. You've got to help me, Remus, Matty…."

Sirius just stared at Peter, wanting to rip the little pipsqueak limb from limb for even daring to speak to Matty.

"No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out," said Matty softly.

"Sorted things out?" squealed Peter, looking wildly about him once more, eyes taking in the boarded windows and, again, the only door. "I knew he'd come after me! I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"

"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" said Remus, his brow furrowed. "When nobody has ever done it before?"

"He's got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!" Peter shouted shrilly. "How else did he get out of there? I suppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named taught him a few tricks!"

Sirius started to laugh, a horrible, mirthless laugh that filled the whole room.

"Voldemort, teach me tricks?" he said.

Peter flinched as though Sirius had brandished a whip at him.

"What, scared to hear your old master's name?" said Sirius. "I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"

"Don't know what you mean, Sirius —" muttered Peter, his breathing faster than ever. His whole face was shining with sweat now.

"You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years," said Sirius. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter…. They all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them…. I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them. Voldemort went to the Potters' on your information… and Voldemort met his downfall there. And not all Voldemort's supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? There are still plenty out here, biding their time, pretending they've seen the error of their ways…. If they ever got wind that you were still alive, Peter —"

"Don't know… what you're talking about…," said Peter again, more shrilly than ever. He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked up at Matty. "You don't believe this — this madness, Matty —"

"I must admit, Peter, I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat," said Matty evenly.

"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Peter. "If Voldemort's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban — the spy, Sirius Black!"

Sirius's face contorted.

"How dare you," he growled, sounding suddenly like the dog he was. "I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter — I'll never understand why I didn't see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who'd look after you, didn't you? It used to be us… me and Remus and Matty… and James…."

Peter wiped his face again; he was almost panting for breath.

"Me, a spy… must be out of your mind… never… don't know how you can say such a —"

"Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it," Sirius hissed, so venomously that Peter took a step backward. "I thought it was the perfect plan… a bluff…. Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you…. It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters. Even better than when you sold out Caradoc, wasn't it?"

Peter was muttering distractedly; Sirius caught words like "far-fetched" and "lunacy," but Sirius couldn't help paying more attention to the ashen color of Peter's face and the way his eyes continued to dart toward the windows and door. Matty snarled madly when she realized that Peter was responsible for Caradoc's death as well as the Potters. If there had ever been a moment she felt pity for Peter in all of this, it was gone as soon as Sirius had said Caradoc's name.

"Professor Lupin?" said Hermione timidly. "Can — can I say something?"

"Certainly, Hermione," said Remus courteously.

"Well — Scabbers — I mean, this — this man — he's been sleeping in Harry's dormitory for three years. If he's working for You-Know-Who, how come he never tried to hurt Harry before now?"

"There!" said Peter shrilly, pointing at Ron with his maimed hand. "Thank you! You see, Remus? I have never hurt a hair of Harry's head! Why should I?"

"I'll tell you why," said Matty. "Because you never did anything for anyone unless you could see what was in it for you. Voldemort's been in hiding for fifteen years, they say he's half dead. You weren't about to commit murder right under Albus Dumbledore's nose, for a wreck of a wizard who'd lost all of his power, were you? You'd want to be quite sure he was the biggest bully in the playground before you went back to him, wouldn't you? Why else did you find a wizard family to take you in? Keeping an ear out for news, weren't you, Peter? Just in case your old protector regained strength, and it was safe to rejoin him…."

Peter opened his mouth and closed it several times. He seemed to have lost the ability to talk.

"Er — Mr. Black — Sirius?" said Hermione.

Sirius jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione, confused.

"If you don't mind me asking, how — how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?"

"Thank you!" gasped Peter, nodding frantically at her. "Exactly! Precisely what I —"

But Remus silenced him with a look. Sirius frowned slightly at Hermione, pondering his answer.

"I don't know how I did it," he said slowly. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me… but it kept me sane and knowing who I am… helped me keep my powers… so when it all became… too much… I could transform in my cell… become a dog. Dementors can't see, you know…." He swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions…. They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog… but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand….

"But then I saw Peter in that picture… I realized he was at Hogwarts with Harry… perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again…."

Peter was shaking his head, mouthing noiselessly, but staring all the while at Sirius as though hypnotized.

"… ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies… and to deliver the last Potter to them. If he gave them Harry, who'd dare say he'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with honors….

"So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive….

"It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the dementors couldn't destroy it…. It wasn't a happy feeling… it was an obsession… but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog…. It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused…. I was thin, very thin… thin enough to slip through the bars…. I swam as a dog back to the mainland…. I journeyed north, found Matty in London, convinced her of the truth, and together we slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when I came to watch the Quidditch, of course. I had to see my daughters, to see you play. You fly as well as your father did, Harry…."

He looked at Harry, who did not look away.

"Believe me," croaked Sirius. "Believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them."

Slowly, Harry nodded

"No!"

Peter had fallen to his knees as though Harry's nod had been his own death sentence. He shuffled forward on his knees, groveling, his hands clasped in front of him as though praying.

"Sirius — it's me… it's Peter… your friend… you wouldn't…"

Sirius kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled.

"There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them," said Sirius.

"Matty!" Peter squeaked, hurrying towards her. "Matty, please… you were always sweet to me… always pitied me… always so kind… please…"

"If you touch her I'll make your death especially painful," Sirius hissed, and Peter stopped short, looking up at her, beseeching.

"Peter, I can never forgive you for what you've done to my friends," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I can't ever forgive you for what happened to Caradoc."

"Remus!" Peter squeaked, turning to Remus instead, writhing imploringly in front of him. "You don't believe this… wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"

"Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter," said Remus. "I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?" he said casually over Peter's head.

"Forgive me, Remus," said Sirius.

"Not at all, Padfoot, old friend," said Remus, who was now rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy and all of the other wrongs I've done you since?"

"Of course," said Sirius, grinning just a bit, briefly, at his old nickname. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. "Shall we kill him together?"

"Yes, I think so," said Matty grimly.

"You wouldn't… you won't…," gasped Peter. And he scrambled around to Ron.

"Ron… haven't I been a good friend… a good pet? You won't let them kill me, Ron, will you… you're on my side, aren't you?"

But Ron was staring at Peter with the utmost revulsion.

"I let you sleep in my bed!" he said.

"Kind boy… kind master…" Peter crawled toward Ron, "you won't let them do it…. I was your rat…. I was a good pet…."

"If you made a better rat than a human, it's not much to boast about, Peter," said Sirius harshly. Ron, going still paler with pain, wrenched his broken leg out of Peter's reach. Peter turned on his knees, staggered forward, and seized the hem of Hermione's robes.

"Sweet girl… clever girl… you — you won't let them…. Help me…."

Hermione pulled her robes out of Peter's clutching hands and backed away against the wall, looking horrified.

Peter knelt, trembling uncontrollably, and turned his head slowly toward Harry.

"Harry… Harry… you look just like your father… just like him…."

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY?" shrieked Matty. "HOW DARE YOU FACE HIM? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"

"Harry," whispered Peter, shuffling toward him, hands outstretched. "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed…. James would have understood, Harry… he would have shown me mercy…."

Both Sirius and Remus strode forward, seized Peter's shoulders, and threw him backward onto the floor. He sat there, twitching with terror, staring up at them.

"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," said Sirius, who was shaking too. "Do you deny it?"

Peter burst into tears. It was horrible to watch, like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.

"Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can't imagine…. I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen…. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me —"

"DON'T LIE!" screamed Matty. "YOU'D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!"

"He — he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Peter. "Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Sirius furiously. "Only innocent lives, Peter!"

"You don't understand!" whined Peter. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Matty. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.

"You should have realized," said Remus quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter."

Hermione covered her face with her hands and turned to the wall.

"NO!" Harry yelled. He ran forward, placing himself in front of Pettigrew, facing the wands. "You can't kill him," he said breathlessly. "You can't."

Sirius, Remus, and Matty all stared at him, shocked.

"Harry, this piece of vermin is the reason you have no parents," Matty snarled. "This cringing bit of filth would have seen you die too, without turning a hair. You heard him. His own stinking skin meant more to him than your whole family."

"I know," Harry panted. "We'll take him up to the castle. We'll hand him over to the dementors…. He can go to Azkaban… but don't kill him."

"Harry!" gasped Pettigrew, and he flung his arms around Harry's knees. "You — thank you — it's more than I deserve — thank you —"

"Get off me," Harry spat, throwing Pettigrew's hands off him in disgust. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it because — I don't reckon my dad would've wanted them to become killers — just for you."

No one moved or made a sound except Peter, whose breath was coming in wheezes as he clutched his chest. Sirius, Matty, and Remus were looking at each other. Then, with one movement, they lowered their wands.

"You're the only person who has the right to decide, Harry," said Sirius. "But think… think what he did…."

"He can go to Azkaban," Harry repeated. "If anyone deserves that place, he does…."

Peter was still wheezing behind him.

"Very well," said Matty. "Stand aside, Harry."

Harry hesitated.

"I'm going to tie him up," said Matty. "That's all, I swear."

Harry stepped out of the way. Thin cords shot from Matty's wand this time, and next moment, Peter was wriggling on the floor, bound and gagged.

"But if you transform, Peter," growled Sirius, his own wand pointing at Peter too, "we will kill you. You agree, Harry?"

Harry looked down at the pitiful figure on the floor and nodded so that Peter could see him.

"Right," said Matty, suddenly businesslike. "Ron, I can't mend bones nearly as well as Madam Pomfrey, so I think it's best if we just strap your leg up until we can get you to the hospital wing."

She hurried over to Ron, bent down, tapped Ron's leg with her wand, and muttered, "_Ferula_." Bandages spun up Ron's leg, strapping it tightly to a splint. Remus helped him to his feet; Ron put his weight gingerly on the leg and didn't wince.

"That's better," he said. "Thanks."

"What about Professor Snape?" said Hermione in a small voice, looking down at Snape's prone figure.

"There's nothing seriously wrong with him," said Remus, bending over Snape and checking his pulse. "You were just a little — overenthusiastic. Still out cold. Er — perhaps it will be best if we don't revive him until we're safely back in the castle. We can take him like this…."

He muttered, "_Mobilicorpus_." As though invisible strings were tied to Snape's wrists, neck, and knees, he was pulled into a standing position, head still lolling unpleasantly, like a grotesque puppet. He hung a few inches above the ground, his limp feet dangling. Remus picked up the Invisibility Cloak and tucked it safely into his pocket.

"And two of us should be chained to this," said Matty, nudging Peter with her toe. "Just to make sure."

"I'll do it," said Remus.

"And me," said Ron savagely, limping forward.

Sirius conjured heavy manacles from thin air; soon Peter was upright again, left arm chained to Remus's right, right arm to Ron's left. Ron's face was set. He seemed to have taken his rat's true identity as a personal insult. Crookshanks leapt lightly off the bed and led the way out of the room, his bottlebrush tail held jauntily high.


	10. Flight

It was almost too good to be true. As they made their way down the tunnel, Sirius turned to Harry.

"You know what this means? Turning Pettigrew in?"

"You're free," said Harry.

"Yes…," said Sirius. "I can be with Matty and raise my daughters. But I'm also — I don't know if anyone ever told you — I'm your godfather."

"Yeah, I knew that," said Harry.

"Well… your parents appointed me your guardian," said Sirius stiffly, his hand wrapping into Matty's. "If anything happened to them…"

Harry said nothing and Sirius began to worry that his suppositions about how Harry felt about his mother's family had been wrong.

"I'll understand, of course, if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle," said Sirius hastily. "But… well… think about it. Once my name's cleared… if you wanted a… a different home…"

"What — live with you?" Harry said. "Leave the Dursleys?"

"Of course, I thought you wouldn't want to," said Sirius quickly, squeezing Matty's hand a little tighter. "I understand, I just thought I'd —"

"Are you insane?" said Harry, his voice croaky. "Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?"

Sirius turned right around to look at him.

"You want to?" he said. "You mean it?"

"Yeah, I mean it!" said Harry.

Sirius grinned one of the fullest, truest grins he'd done since he was a much younger man, and he gripped Matty's hand a little tighter.

They did not speak again until they had reached the end of the tunnel. Crookshanks darted up first; he had evidently pressed his paw to the knot on the trunk, because Remus, Peter, and Ron clambered upward without any sound of savaging branches.

Sirius saw Snape up through the hole, then stood back for Harry and Hermione to pass. At last, he helped Matty up and all of them were out.

The grounds were very dark now; the only light came from the distant windows of the castle. Without a word, they set off. Peter was still wheezing and occasionally whimpering. Sirius hadn't been so happy in such a very long time. He was going to be free. He could marry Matty, raise his beautiful daughters, and Harry would come and live with them, the son of his best friend, and it would be almost like it had been, back when Sirius had had the best days of his life.

"One wrong move, Peter," said Remus threateningly ahead. His wand was still pointed sideways at Peter's chest.

Silently they tramped through the grounds, the castle lights growing slowly larger. Snape was still drifting weirdly ahead of Sirius, his chin bumping on his chest. And then —

A cloud shifted. There were suddenly dim shadows on the ground. Their party was bathed in moonlight.

Snape collided with Remus, Peter, and Ron, who had stopped abruptly. Sirius froze. He flung out one arm to make Matty, Harry, and Hermione stop.

Remus had gone rigid. Then his limbs began to shake.

"Oh, my —" Hermione gasped. "He didn't take his potion tonight! He's not safe!"

"Run," Sirius whispered. "Run. Now."

But none of them ran. Between Remus being in pain and Ron being chained to him, the three of them just stood there, mesmerized. Matty leapt forward but Sirius caught her around the chest and threw her back.

"Leave it to me — RUN!"

There was a terrible snarling noise. Lupin's head was lengthening. So was his body. His shoulders were hunching. Hair was sprouting visibly on his face and hands, which were curling into clawed paws. Crookshanks's hair was on end again; he was backing away —

As the werewolf reared, snapping its long jaws, Sirius disappeared transformed. The enormous, bearlike dog bounded forward. As the werewolf wrenched itself free of the manacle binding it, the dog seized it about the neck and pulled it backward, away from Ron and Peter. They were locked, jaw to jaw, claws ripping at each other —

After a hardy struggle, there was a howl and a rumbling growl; the werewolf was galloping into the forest —

"Sirius, he's gone, Pettigrew transformed!" Harry yelled.

Sirius was bleeding; there were gashes across his muzzle and back, but at Harry's words he scrambled up again, and in an instant, the sound of his paws faded to silence as he pounded away across the grounds, leaving Matty to look after the children.

But as he went, he could feel the air around him growing colder, and he knew he needed help. He began to make noise, a yelping, a whining: making sounds of pain, knowing Matty would come to his rescue if she could…

He stopped yelping abruptly. Sirius had turned back into a man, too weak from the onslaught of the dementors to maintain his form. He was crouched on all fours, his hands over his head.

"Nooo," he moaned. "Noooo… please…."

Dementors, at least a hundred of them, gliding in a black mass around the lake, too many to ward off.

Sirius gave a shudder, rolled over, and lay motionless on the ground, passing out into blackness.

When he awoke again, he found himself in a familiar room, an office he had been to many times, with a few more odds and ends than he had recalled from his own days at school. He had found himself there whenever he didn't bother with his Charms homework, which had been incredibly often.

It was Professor Flitwick's office.

Sirius also found himself face-to-face with the Minister of Magic himself, Cornelius Fudge. In that moment, he knew nothing good could come of any of it, but he had to try, for Matty… for his daughters.

"Sirius Black," Fudge said wearily, "I'm sure you are well aware of your charges. The events of tonight have kindly been filled in by Professor Severus Snape. You endangered the lives of three children and an innocent woman by use of a Confundus Charm and put them in the company of not only yourself but also a werewolf. Do you have anything to say for yourself before your punishment is enacted?"

With a blink, Sirius realized that Snape, for whatever reason, was legally protecting the children and Matty while attempting to condemn Remus and Sirius completely. He supposed, for Dumbledore's sake, that he could see protecting the students, but why on earth would Severus do anything for Matty? They had always hated each other.

As best as he could, he told Fudge the story of what had actually happened that night, knowing full well that Fudge didn't want to hear it. He then, knowing his hope was almost up, asked for two things.

"May I see Dumbledore and Matty Clondon, at least, before you take my soul, Minister?" he said roughly, feeling more ashamed of himself than he ever thought possible. Not only had he failed, but he'd brought Remus down in the process, leaving Matty with absolutely nothing and nobody but their daughters and the kindness of Dumbledore and Xeno Lovegood.

"I'm afraid," Fudge said with a sigh, "that Miss Clondon is still unconscious in the hospital wing. She had a very near miss with a dementor, herself. I will send Professor Dumbledore to see you, although I'm not sure what good it will do."

Sirius waited for quite some time, horrified that he'd nearly damned Matty to his own fate on top of his failure, and took great effort not to cry, knowing Dumbledore would be there any minute, and tears would not gain him sympathy from the man who had once presented testimony against him. He managed to wipe away the one tear that had fallen just as Albus Dumbledore glided through the door, sitting down across from him, watching him calmly for a moment. Sirius had to steel himself, force himself to not think of Matty, lying fragile and unconscious in a hospital wing cot, but to focus on the matter at hand, his last hope of salvaging anything.

"Explain," Dumbledore said softly, and the words were pouring from Sirius's mouth instantly.

He told Dumbledore of his time at school, of the Marauders being Animagi and sneaking around. He told of finding Matty when he got out of prison, of convincing her of the truth of the matter, that Peter had been the one to betray them, that Peter was still alive. He told of hiding in the Shack all year, attempting to get at Peter, but failing. He told of how he finally managed to capture Peter and convince Remus, Harry, and the other children of his innocence, but Remus's missed potion allowed for Peter's escape and Sirius had to fight off Remus in order to protect Matty and the children.

"And I'll never see her again," Sirius said, hands shaking. "I've screwed up a lot of things in my life, you know, but loving Matty, those girls… that was the best thing I ever did. And I'm never going to get to hold them in my arms."

There was no fighting the tears pouring down his face. Dumbledore patted him gently on the back for a moment, handed him a handkerchief for his tears, and said, "I understand you're distraught, but there isn't much time if we're going to fix things."

Sirius looked up at him, shocked. Albus Dumbledore was on his side? How could he possibly be condemned with such a powerful ally?

And yet, Matty was lying alone in the hospital wing and Fudge probably already had called for a dementor to come and dispatch of him. It was looking continually more hopeless.

"There are things I need to take care of on your behalf. I need you to sit quietly, don't question anything, and you'll be fine."

Sirius frowned. What did that mean?

But he was told not to question anything, so he nodded, and Albus Dumbledore swept out of the room.

Sirius sat in the office, shaking, nervous, worried. What if whatever Dumbledore planned failed? What if Matty still ended up getting hurt somehow? He began to pace the room and found a stack of graded essays on Professor Flitwick's desk, and Merryn's was on top. He leaned over the essay, smiling down at his daughter's handwriting. He began to lose track of time, looking over the words of his daughter. He settled down in his chair, trying not to cry onto the parchment.

Suddenly, a strange sound was coming from outside the window.

Sirius looked up. His jaw dropped as he saw Harry, Hermione, and Matty on the back of a hippogriff, right outside his prison. He leapt from his chair, hurried to the window and tried to open it, but it was locked.

"Stand back!" Hermione called to him, and she took out her wand, still gripping the back of Harry's robes with her left hand. "_Alohomora!_"

The window sprang open.

"How — how — ?" said Sirius weakly, staring at the hippogriff.

"Get on — there's not much time," said Harry, gripping Buckbeak firmly on either side of his sleek neck to hold him steady. "You've got to get out of here — the dementors are coming — Macnair's gone to get them."

Sirius placed a hand on either side of the window frame and heaved his head and shoulders out of it. It was very lucky he was so thin. In seconds, he had managed to fling one leg over Buckbeak's back and pull himself onto the hippogriff behind Matty.

"Okay, Buckbeak, up!" said Harry, shaking the rope. "Up to the tower — come on!"

The hippogriff gave one sweep of its mighty wings and they were soaring upward again, high as the top of the West Tower. Buckbeak landed with a clatter on the battlements, and Harry and Hermione slid off him at once.

"Sirius, you'd better go, quick," Matty panted. "They'll reach Flitwick's office any moment, they'll find out you're gone. I'm going to tell the girls the truth. They're going to know about their father now, darling, I promise."

Buckbeak pawed the ground, tossing his sharp head.

"What happened to the other boy? Ron?" croaked Sirius.

"He's going to be okay. He's still out of it, but Madam Pomfrey says she'll be able to make him better. Quick — go —"

But Sirius was staring down at Harry.

"How can I ever thank —"

"GO!" Harry and Hermione shouted together.

Sirius kissed Matty gently on the lips, wheeled Buckbeak around, facing the open sky.

"We'll see each other again," he said. "You are — truly your father's son, Harry. . . ."

He squeezed Buckbeak's sides with his heels. Matty, Harry, and Hermione jumped back as the enormous wings rose once more. . . . The hippogriff took off into the air. . . . He and his rider watched as the ground became smaller, and smaller, and the figures on the roof, and the castle itself became smaller and smaller… and then they were gone.

It didn't take long for Sirius to set course for somewhere he thought would be safe: the tropics. It was far enough away from England, far enough away from Matty, that his family would be safe, as would he, but that was secondary. Matty was telling the girls the truth, he thought to himself as he clutched the hippogriff, sailing over the ocean.

Sirius found a village, in an obscure part of some tropical place where they, thankfully, spoke English, found a wizarding contingent, and managed to send off a pair of letters, one to Harry, one to Matty. The first one read thus:

_Dear Harry,_

_I hope this finds you before you reach your aunt and uncle. I don't know whether they're used to owl post._

_Buckbeak and I are in hiding. I won't tell you where, in case this owl falls into the wrong hands. I have some doubt about his reliability, but he is the best I could find, and he did seem eager for the job._

_I believe the dementors are still searching for me, but they haven't a hope of finding me here. I am planning to allow some Muggles to glimpse me soon, a long way from Hogwarts, so that the security on the castle will be lifted._

_There is something I never got around to telling you during our brief meeting. It was I who sent you the Firebolt. Matty took the order to the Owl Office for me. I used her name but told them to take the gold from my own Gringotts vault, which she has full access to. Please consider it as thirteen birthdays' worth of presents from your godfather._

_I would also like to apologize for the fright I think I gave you that night last year when you left your uncle's house. I had only hoped to get a glimpse of you before starting my journey north, but I think the sight of me alarmed you._

_I am enclosing something else for you, which I think will make your next year at Hogwarts more enjoyable._

_If ever you need me, send word. Your owl will find me._

_I'll write again soon._

_Sirius_

Then he enclosed a short note for Professor Dumbledore, giving Harry access to Hogsmeade, which he had gathered Harry hadn't gotten from his aunt and uncle. Then he sent off the letter with an eager-looking owl, after scribbling a note that Ron could keep the owl, as he no longer had a rat.

Sirius began a second letter, then, that read thus:

_Matty,_

_This is a letter for you and my darling girls. Firstly, I'm so sorry I didn't manage to do things properly, to clear my name, and you'll have to wait even longer for us to be a proper family now. Don't worry about me. I'm safe, and far away from where the Ministry could possibly hope to find me. I'm going to let myself be spotted by some Muggles soon, so they lift the protections at Hogwarts, but don't worry. I'll find a nice place to hide._

_To my beautiful little girls, I want to say that I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you were growing up, and there's nothing I regret more. Someday, girls, I'm going to be free, and I'll come back and we'll be a family. I promise._

_Give Remus my best, and girls, keep him on his toes. I'm sure you don't need any further directions on that front. After all, I've read your detention slips. Take care of your mother for me, and remind her every day that I love her, love all of you, with all of my heart and I'll be with you all as soon as it's possible for me to do so. I'm thinking of you always._

_I plan to write from time to time, and don't hesitate to write to me as well. I very much want to stay updated on your lives and school and how much you've grown. Not to mention, all the hell you've given Snape._

_All of my love,_

_Dad_

That last word looked so strange in his handwriting, had come out so shakily that he read it over four times to make sure he wrote it correctly, simple word though it was. He wiped the tears out of his eyes and found another owl to send along with that letter, the most reliable owl he could find, but not before adding a quick note at the bottom that they were to continue to use his Gringotts account, as he had more money in it than he could possibly know what to do with, and they would need it.

As he watched the bird fly away and fed another dead rat to Buckbeak, Sirius wished more than ever that he was in Matty's arms, in a flat with his beautiful daughters just down the hall, living the normal, family life he hadn't even dreamed of as a possibility before he went away to Azkaban. It seemed, however, that once he knew it was there, just out of his reach, it was the only thing he could want.


	11. Owl Post

_Sirius,_

_The girls are getting on well. Remus is staying with us right now. Snivellus 'accidentally' let the nature of his condition slip the next day at breakfast, so he's out of a job again. Now that we're using your inheritance, he doesn't seem to feel as bad about my putting him up. I guess he knows you can afford it._

_They found the news that you were both their father an innocent surprising, but Merryn, at least, was excited about it. They'll be writing to you soon, I expect. They want to get much better acquainted with their father. You're all they talk about anymore._

_I'm back to working with Xeno, and he didn't even notice I wasn't there. His daughter had, though, noticed my absence from the Quibbler and she expressed interest in my whereabouts, especially as I was mentioned briefly in the Prophet article about your escape. Fudge did not take too kindly to it, by the way, and Snape tried to blame Harry and I, and for a split second I thought I'd be the second one locked away without a trial, but Dumbledore came to my rescue, of course. You should have seen Snivellus's face. He was fuming._

_Remus sends his love._

_All my love,_

_Matty_

_Daddy,_

_Hi, it's Merryn. I wanted to write you before Elle could finish her letter, so this is short, but I'll write again soon, Daddy, I promise._

_I got well enough grades. Mum told us you're innocent. I'm glad. I just wish you were here instead of wherever you are, but I'm sure you will be with us again soon enough. Uncle Remus promises only necessary things could keep you away._

_Whatever Elle says I did to her hair, it's not true._

_Love,_

_Merryn_

_Merryn,_

_Hello, darling. I'm so glad you wrote to me. Feel free to write as often as you'd like. I love hearing from you._

_I'm glad your grades were good by your standards, does your mother agree? _

_I am innocent, darling, and I promise you that I wish nothing more than to be with you, too. Remus is right. Nothing but the most necessary things can ever keep me from you, and I absolutely am looking for any opportunity to return to you._

_I'll keep that in mind, but try not to give your sister too much grief. Target Remus instead._

_Love,_

_Dad_

_Daddy,_

_Hello, Daddy, it's Elle. I want this letter to be perfect, so it may take me a long time to write it. I'm sorry._

_Merryn and I grew half an inch this year. I know you weren't there when we grew all of our other inches, but we were very excited about it. Mum says you were in Gryffindor as well. Did you like it? I like Gryffindor. Harry Potter is in our House. Mum says you know Harry Potter, that you knew his parents. I think that's fascinating._

_Uncle Remus says that you read our detention slips. I'm sorry there were so many. Sometimes Merryn and Tien talked me into things. It wasn't usually my fault. There were a few times, but… Well, I tried not to be bad. Mum says I come but it honestly, whatever that means._

_My grades were pretty good. I think I can do better, though, so I'm going to study more next year, I promise. My grades were better than Merryn's, anyway, not that that's really something to be proud of. Mummy says you would have been proud of both of us, though._

_Merryn turned my hair purple again, and this time it burned part of my hair off on the bottom. Mummy called her Daddy's little girl, and she rolled her eyes. Uncle Remus thought it was very funny, but he managed to put my hair right. It's a bit shorter than Merryn's, now, though, because he couldn't fix the burned bits, so they had to cut it. Merryn said she was sorry about that part, but not about turning it colors. She's never sorry about anything, so I didn't mind that she didn't apologize for the whole thing._

_Did you know the Quidditch World Cup is going to be in Britain? A lot of kids at school were talking about it. Tien's going, I think._

_I wish you could go, Daddy. Mummy and Uncle Remus said you like Quidditch a lot._

_I love you and I wish you were here._

_Elle_

_Sirius,_

_I've been thinking, and I know I'd have a hard time talking Matty into it, because she's so stingy with your money, but I thought you might be able to make her see sense. One of the girls probably told you about the Quidditch World Cup. It's in Britain this year, and their friends are all going. Can you talk her into buying tickets so they can see it? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for the girls, and I know they'd enjoy it._

_I hope you've been holding up well. Merryn was so excited when she got a letter from you that she slept with it for days. I have a suspicion that it's still hiding under her pillow, but she's a bit less obvious about it now._

_Best,_

_Remus_

_Sirius,_

_They're putting my cousin on a diet. There's nothing to eat in the house, now. Could you send me sweets? I think I'll go mad if I don't get something real to eat soon. Hope you're well._

_Harry_

_Elle,_

_Hello, darling. Thank you so much for the letter, it truly was perfect and absolutely brightened up my day._

_Growing is always exciting, and I'm so sorry I've missed all of your inches and half-inches throughout the years. I absolutely wish I could have been there. I loved Gryffindor. Those were some of the best times of my life, in Gryffindor with your mother and Remus. Yes, I was friends with Harry Potter's parents. We all were. I met Harry very briefly, but he and I still write. I'm his godfather, you know, which sort of makes you like siblings. He's very nice. I'm sure he would talk to you if you introduced yourself._

_I don't mind the detentions, darling, I had plenty of them myself when I was your age. In fact, I probably had twice that many._

_I'm very proud of you, both of you, and I'm so proud you got good grades._

_I'm very sorry about your hair, darling. I used to pull a similar trick on your mother, you know. She never thought it was very funny, either._

_That's very exciting about the Quidditch World Cup! Yes, I liked Quidditch very much. My best friend was a world-class Chaser, you know. I wish I could go, too, sweetheart, but you know what? Hand the letter to your mother so she knows these are my words, but she needs to buy tickets so the three of you can go, and Remus, if he'd like, so you can write me all about it, all right?_

_Also, tell her she ought to send Harry a cake from me. Apparently, his aunt and uncle are making their whole family diet and he doesn't get any sweets. Well, you've seen him, darling, I'm sure you know he's very skinny._

_Love,_

_Dad_

_Sirius,_

_I'm writing this from the Quidditch World Cup. Harry might have sent you a thank-you note, but I sent him the cake. I saw him with the Weasleys a bit ago. He seems happy. The girls were so excited that you made me buy tickets, and I have to say, I'm a bit excited too, but I wish you were here to go with us. It's not quite the same, you know, watching Quidditch without you. I'll make sure the girls write you all about the game._

_I hope everything's well with you, and that you're taking care of yourself. I miss you every day, and especially every night. It feel strange, sleeping alone again._

_All of my love,_

_Matty_

_Daddy,_

_Maybe you read about the Cup, but we wanted to let you know that we're okay. Some masked men attacked some of the Muggles and there was a riot after the game, but we got away fine. There was a scary green thing in the sky and Mummy says it's a bad sign, but everyone seems to be fine. We're all fine._

_The game was brilliant, though. Viktor Krum from Bulgaria caught the Snitch, but Ireland won, because their Chasers were so good!_

_Anyway, we hope you're well!_

_Love,_

_Merryn and Elle_

_Matty,_

_I just got the letter from the girls. Was it the Dark Mark? I don't get the Prophet where I am. What happened? Do you know if anyone was seriously injured or… or worse?_

_I'm still glad they went, though. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and if I had been there, I wouldn't have done a thing differently. I just wish I could have helped you. It must have been frightening, taking care of the girls without anyone there to help you. I'm so sorry, love._

_I love you, darling, and I can't wait until I can come and be with you, protect you all. Until then, I hope Remus is watching out for you. I'm sure he is. He's a good friend. I'm sorry about the things I said, before. Well, they don't matter now. I love you._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

_Sirius,_

_Well, it looks as though the girls are getting many once in a lifetime opportunities this year. They've started the Triwizard Tournament back up. I've enclosed an article. Don't worry, you have to be of age to compete now, so all of the people we might be worried about are safe. They just get to sit and watch the show while someone else's parents get sick with worry._

_The girls have written us about it, very excited. I hope they're keeping up correspondence with you now that they're back in school. From the sounds of things, they've started talking to Harry Potter, and have made friends with the Weasley girl (you didn't meet her, she's a year older than the girls, and a very nice girl) and a few of her friends, on top of Tien._

_Matty is throwing herself into her work, and it's clear that she misses you. I know that you being where you are safe is the best thing for everyone, but Sirius, it's so hard for me to watch her like this. I haven't seen her so sad since you were taken away to Azkaban. Please don't do anything stupid. Her heart couldn't take you being in danger again, and I don't think mine could take her in pain at losing you again._

_Despite my apologies over my behavior last fall, I want you to know that while I recognize that I shouldn't have done it, I don't regret anything I did. I care about Matty very much and always have, even if I never had the chance to be to her what you are. Take care of her, Sirius. If you hurt her, you have me to answer to._

_Remus_

_Daddy,_

_The students from the other schools came tonight! The Beauxbatons people are very pretty, and the Durmstrang students are a bit intimidating, but we're very excited to meet them all. They're all of age, so I doubt they'll talk much to us, but maybe we'll meet them in the hall or something._

_The tournament is only open to people who are of age, but Fred and George (Weasley, you know) say they're going to find a way to enter anyway. I think they're going to try an aging potion, but Elle and Hermione say it won't work. They don't listen. They're brilliant, Fred and George. I'm sure they'll think of something._

_Professor Moody is a bit scary. Don't tell Elle I said so, because I told her I don't think he's scary at all, but he's very gruff and his magical eye is hard to not stare at during class, but if he catches you staring he yells at you and says, "CONSTANT VIGILENCE!"_

_I imagine he's worse for the older students, when they talk about actually scary things. We're just learning to identify and perform basic spells. Second year is boring. I heard fourth years are learning about dangerous curses. I think I'd like to be a fourth year._

_Professor Snape hates me and Elle more than he used to, if that's possible. Maybe it's because I told him my dad said hello the first day of class. He gave me detention that day, although nobody was quite sure why._

_Love,_

_Merryn_

_Merryn,_

_That sounds lovely, darling! I'm sure you're prettier than all of the people at Beauxbatons. You look enough like your mother that you probably put them all to shame._

_I bet they're very smart, but so is Dumbledore, and I have to agree with Elle on this one. I don't think they'll get in. With the Ministry and Dumbledore on the case… well, very few people could fool them all. Believe me when I say it's not an easy task._

_Ah, Mad-Eye's not so bad. He does take some getting used to, though, I'll give him that. By the end of the year, I doubt you'll even notice his eye. He'll still be shouting at you, though, I'm afraid. He's never going to stop doing that._

_Trust me, darling, you'll be in fourth year soon enough. The idea scares me. I don't want to miss more of your life than I have to. By the time you get to fourth year, though, hopefully I'll be free. Don't wish away the time in between._

_I've never been more proud of you for earning detention, love. Keep your chin up high. You're a Black, darling, and Snape can't put down blood that noble. He wishes he were as great as you. Give him hell from me, will you? Don't tell your mother._

_Love,_

_Dad_

_Daddy,_

_Harry Potter's name came out of the Goblet! He probably wrote to you about it too, but Hogwarts has two champions now! We've got Cedric Diggory, who's a very good-looking Hufflepuff, and we've got Harry. He seemed surprised, and Fred and George were jealous. They didn't get in the Goblet. Their aging potion backfired and they ended up old men. Madam Pomfrey fixed them up._

_I'm doing well in school, and Merryn's doing well enough. Professor Moody seems to like us, and Tien's already saying we've got an unfair advantage in Defense because we've been teacher's pets for two years in a row. I'm not sure why he likes us. We haven't done anything that would get his attention, really, except he paused when he got to our names on the roll, and we usually know the answers to his questions. They're not very hard, but Uncle Remus taught us very well, so that was good, I guess._

_Love,_

_Elle_

_Sirius,_

_I'm worried. Strange things are happening. Harry Potter's name came out of the Goblet. I'm sure the girls told you, if Harry's didn't. There are a lot of things I can't understand or explain. I don't know what your plans are, and maybe this is selfish of me, but I want you to come north. I've written to Dumbledore, and he agrees that it would be better to have you on hand, for Harry's sake. Don't tell Remus I told you this. He thinks it's a horrible idea and might get me or the girls into trouble._

_There's a place you can stay. Dumbledore told me about it. Get in contact with him. I love you. Stay safe._

_Matty_

_Sirius,_

_Whatever Matty just wrote to you in that letter, disregard it. Everything's fine. Harry will be fine. There's an Auror looking after him. Stay where you are. You'd just put everyone in more danger by coming north, including yourself. Please, don't do anything rash._

_Remus_

_Professor,_

_Matty told me you've talked about me coming north. I won't say too much here, as my letters might get intercepted, but would it be all right if I popped my head in your fire at, say, eleven tonight?_

_Sirius Black_

_Sirius,_

_That would be agreeable. See you then._

_Albus_

_Matty,_

_I'm coming north. Tell Remus he can get over himself, I've got Dumbledore's approval and I want to be where I can be helpful if something goes wrong, both for Harry and the girls. If you want to know where I'll be, ask Dumbledore. I want to see you when I'm there. I've missed you._

_Don't tell the girls where I am, or that I'm even in the country. I don't want them to get in trouble or put themselves in danger by going looking for me._

_I'll be as careful as possible, love, I promise. I'll keep writing to the girls, and I'll even wait a while before replying to their letters so they don't get suspicious with too quick of replies. Elle's very smart, just like her mother, and she would notice those sorts of things._

_Remus says you've been throwing yourself into your work. I'm sure good old Xeno doesn't even know what to do with you. Anyway, keep your chin up, my love, and I hope I can see you again very soon. I think Buckbeak's pleased to see you again, too._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

_Sirius,_

_Be careful, love. I know you'll be fine, but please, be extra careful, for me. I hope I see you very soon and I promise not to say anything to the girls. Be sure to tell Harry, as well, not to tell the girls. Otherwise, he might let something slip. I know he wouldn't do it on purpose, but he's not as well-trained in covert operations as us Order members, so be sure he knows you don't want them finding out. And let Hermione know, as well. She'll keep the boys in line. She's a smart one, that girl._

_Love,_

_Matty_


	12. Life In A Cave

**A/N: As many of you noticed, we're into the fourth book and the last chapter was all letters. THAT was both a way of covering a long period of time and filling in a time when Sirius has just Buckbeak for company. We ARE into the fourth book, and he's back in England for the remainder of the story, so there will be no more letter-only chapters. I apologize if the last chapter caused any sort of confusion or annoyance. I did my best not to make them too dull. Hope I satisfied you.**

**-J**

Sirius settled into the cave Dumbledore had designated for him near Hogsmeade, the chill of November already getting to him as he had gotten used to the tropical climate. He'd set up a meeting with Harry by fireplace, and he didn't want to miss it, but leaving the relative warmth of the cave didn't seem appealing. Of course, it would be warmer in dog form, when he had the fur, but Sirius hadn't been in dog form for quite a while. He hadn't had to hide in the tropics. Nobody was looking for him there.

Matty would be coming to visit the next day, to see him for the first time since they'd said their rushed good-bye on the night of his escape, and he already wanted everything else to be over with so he could hold her in his arms again.

First, however, he had to get through his meeting with Harry. He had to find a fireplace with floo powder and hope that the common room was empty. Making sure Buckbeak had food by where he was tethered in case he woke up hungry when Sirius was gone, Sirius shifted into dog form and sauntered out of the cave, making his way to the village of Hogsmeade.

Thankfully, he managed to find a home where the owners were out and made his way to the fireplace in what seemed to be a sitting room, locating the floo powder easily and making himself comfortable. He wasn't sure how long he would need to or be able to be at the fireplace, but talking in fireplaces was horrible for ones knees, and since he'd been moving north again, Sirius was practically skin and bones, living off rats just like Buckbeak.

Buckbeak was rather not fond of this dietary change as well, because he was beginning to see himself and Sirius as being in competition for the rats in question.

Sirius checked the clock, sighing. Still ten minutes. Harry might not even be at the fireplace until midnight exactly. Surely he had other things to be doing, like worrying about the Triwizard Tournament. So Sirius stared at the clock to the point of looking through it, wondering if his girls looked much older from the last time he'd seen them, wondering if they would be pleased to see him, wondering if there was any way Dumbledore would allow such an arrangement…

But it wouldn't work. They weren't old enough for Hogsmeade trips, and sneaking Sirius onto the grounds with Severus around should only be for emergent situations.

And it was midnight.

Sirius had a quick but truncated conversation with Harry, as someone interrupted on Harry's end. Dragons. The first task was dragons. As he made his way back to the cave he wanted to storm up to the castle and demand what Dumbledore and the Ministry were thinking, making a bunch of kids face dragons. But he couldn't. Harry was bound to the competition, whoever put him in it, and all Sirius could do was puzzle about it and try to think of who would want Harry dead badly enough to risk their own skin.

Buckbeak hadn't woken while Sirius was gone, which was almost a relief, although Sirius couldn't think why. He curled up on the cold, hard ground, wishing he could hold Matty, wishing he could kiss her just once. He'd missed her so much over the months he'd been away that sometimes he would wake up crying, feeling emptiness in his arms instead of her warm, sweet body and he hated himself. He couldn't even manage to properly dispose of Peter and clear his name for the sake of having Matty. How could he have ever fooled himself into thinking that he could give her what she deserved?

He was up reading the letter Harry had sent him about the first task when another owl fluttered in. It was from Matty, talking about how much she missed him.

Matty missed him. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have thought she'd turn away, whether he deserved her or not.

And suddenly all he wanted was to see her beautiful face, just for a moment, just to touch and kiss and memorize all over again.

But he couldn't. He had to wait, to find Peter, to keep Harry safe. He had to.

Sirius curled up on the cold, hard ground and composed a quick reply, telling her how much he loved her, how much he missed seeing her beautiful face, how much he wanted to hold her and make love with her and remind her who she belonged to. Not that she needed reminding. It was obvious that she still wanted him.

He just had to find Peter. But how was he supposed to do that.

Sirius sent his replies and took Matty's letter over to his corner where he slept, smelling it, holding it, loving it. It was a little piece of her, a piece he could hold.

He vaguely remembered holding a letter from his children the same way, before they knew he was their father, before he and Matty had been reunited long, before he'd even met them. His beautiful daughters... Their beautiful daughters. He hoped they were doing well in school, that they missed him and loved him.

Of course, they said so every time they wrote, but it wasn't the same as holding them. He so badly wanted to hold them in his arms, to hug them to him and say how much he loved them. They needed to hear that, not just from their mother, not just from Remus, but from him. How long would he be able to just be a figure in their letter-writing lives? How long would he be able to hide in the shadows, an escaped convict the law had yet to forgive?

Sirius spent Christmas shivering.

It was England, of course it was cold. He wanted Matty, she'd told him she wanted to see him too, but he couldn't risk it. They'd been too foolish, too rash the year before.

Sirius softly sang some Christmas carols to Buckbeak, who seemed to enjoy Sirius's less-than-satisfactory singing voice. Matty liked it to...

"Christmas was her favorite holiday," Sirius said with a sad smile, "especially when we were kids. I remember second year I talked my parents into letting me stay over the holidays, said I wanted to get ahead in Potions. I was actually watching Matty all Christmas. She and I were the only Gryffindors there over the holidays, and two twelve-year-olds with Gryffindor Tower to themselves was a sure recipe for disaster."

Buckbeak raised his head a little in an almost questioning way. Sirius's smile became even bitterer.

"Our first Christmas when we started dating," Sirius sighed, "I convinced her to stay in my room. We spent the whole holiday making love, enjoying having most of the Tower to ourselves. We didn't have the common room, of course, because there were a couple of first year girls staying and Matty insisted that we didn't scar them for life. It was too bad because I had fantasies of making her writhe on the rug in front of the fireplace, screaming my name and begging for more."

Buckbeak squawked a bit and Sirius sighed, tossing him some more dead rats. How had his life been reduced to this, sharing meals of dead rats with a giant half-bird, half-horse?

Peter. It was all Peter. Sirius sighed, flipping through the letters Matty had sent him since he'd been away from her, reading all the sweet things she said, all the things she said she wanted to do with him... He moaned, imagining some of his favorites. It wasn't quite the same as having her there with him, but it was the next best thing, that was for certain.

"I'm telling you, Buckbeak," Sirius sighed, "she's quite a woman. I don't deserve her. I guess I never really did, but it took me years to grow up enough to figure it out, and thank Merlin she still hasn't figured it out. She still thinks she loves me. Of course, I'd like to think she actually does love me, but looking at this place, looking at my life, it's so hard to believe. I mean, I eat rats for Merlin's sake. I'm a convict. It doesn't matter if it's wrongful. This is my life and I'm completely incapable of giving Matty anything she deserves."

Several weeks later, Sirius received another influx of owls. Harry reported strange occurrences involving Barty Crouch, the man who'd put Sirius in jail without a trial. Matty wrote a love letter to rival anything they had written each other as kids, and his daughters sent him a lovely letter catching him up on the events of the new term. Sirius replied to his daughters right away, knowing that young girls were impatient and he didn't want to upset his sweet girls. Then he carefully considered Harry's letter, weighing a few things as he reread Matty's letter and wanked while reading it.

Then Sirius sat down and dreamed up the steamiest reply he could for Matty's letter and hastily scribbled it down, sending it away. Then he considered Harry's letter some more.

Something was very wrong in regards to Barty Crouch's behavior, but he couldn't quite put a finger on what was going on. He quickly drafted a letter for Dumbledore as well as one for Harry. There was really no need for Harry to know that there was correspondence between himself and Dumbledore. After all, Harry could hardly expect that he was the only one Sirius was writing to.

In the letter, he'd asked the date of the next Hogsmeade visit. Sirius knew, of course, that once he'd visited with Harry, which he would have to do to work things out properly, that he would have to see Matty. Human contact was one thing, but Matty was at a whole different level of contact, and he needed it.

She would baby him again, he knew. She would force him to conform to societal norms, even though he wasn't welcome in society and was living outside of it purposefully, for safety and really out of disgust with the way society was running itself.

Sirius debated with himself, trying to decide whether or not to see her. But he needed her, he knew he did. It wasn't just a physical need, although that certainly was a part of it. Human contact... No, contact with Matty, it was almost as essential as breathing. Now that he was out of Azkaban, he couldn't imagine how he'd actually survived twelve years without her to hold, to talk to, to love. But then, he hadn't remembered love, not surrounded by dementors night and day.

"I miss her, Buckbeak," Sirius sighed. "I miss my Matty."

Buckbeak made a sound that Sirius liked to think was sympathetic and Sirius patted the beast's beak. No, he was going to have to see her, he decided, taking out a bit of parchment and scribbling an invitation that he would finish when he got a reply from Harry. First he would have to know that bringing someone into his lair didn't make for opening himself up to attack, then he would feel more comfortable having Matty join him, just for a bit. If she had her way, she'd be living in the cave with him, so he'd have to put his foot down.

The next week, Sirius met up with Harry, Ron, and Hermione in Hogsmeade, dog form, and the followed him to the cave where they discussed Bertha Jorkins, Barty Crouch and his dead son, and other things of importance. Harry and the others were probably going to leave soon, and he decided to say what was on his mind.

"Have you seen my girls?" Sirius asked in a feeble sort of voice.

Hermione's sad smile warmed his heart. She was a very good sort of girl. She'd make a brilliant mother one day, when she'd become surer of herself.

"They're doing very well at school," she said happily. "They're growing up very fast, Sirius. I hope your name gets cleared soon."

"Me too," Sirius sighed. "Part of me wishes they were old enough to come visit me on Hogsmeade weekends, but part of me is glad I have that extra year of hope, that I have a chance to be free by the time they're that age. But I don't know."

He bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm thinking about inviting Matty to see me. I suppose she'd come. Is it selfish?"

He felt a bit small, asking the advice of a handful of teenagers, but he knew he couldn't trust his judgment where Matty was concerned. They just blinked at him for a moment, and then Harry said, "No. There's nothing selfish about wanting to spend time with the people you love, and if you've got a chance you should do it."

"It could put her in danger," Hermione said softly, reasonably.

"Peter knows she knows," Harry reasoned. "She's already in danger. If Sirius wants to see her, he ought to just see her. Because you're right, Sirius is always in danger, and he might not get another chance."

Harry understood. It was exactly how Sirius felt about it, and he knew it was because they had both lost Lily and James. Harry understood what it was like to lose loved ones, how easy it was to be left alone.

As soon as they were gone, he wrote a letter to Matty, telling her that he needed to see her, that he loved her and missed her and how she would be able to come and see him.

Sirius paced the cave frantically after sending the letter, pausing to pat Buckbeak and feed him some rats.

"I love her," Sirius sighed. "I miss her so much."

Buckbeak was paying attention to his rats, though, and didn't pay much attention to Sirius.

"And I'm talking to a hippogriff about my love life," Sirius sighed. "I've gone absolutely mad."


	13. SelfishnessEve of Battle

**A/N: This chapter is for **_**SiriusIsMyPuppy**_**, a lovely loyal reader who's really excited about this story. I apologize for the lack of prompt updates. If you hadn't realized this, I've got a lot of stories going. :D**

** -J**

Sirius paced the bit of the High Road where he was supposed to meet her, anxious. What if she wasn't coming after all? What if something happened? What if she didn't recognize his dog form anymore and she didn't follow him?

He'd found a stream in the forest to bathe in, doing what he could for his appearance in honor of Matty's visit. He'd even thought about breaking into an empty Muggle house and wash, shave... all that. But adding to his actual crimes probably wasn't a good idea.

So he paced that little stretch looking like a pathetic, scrawny black dog. Matty. Where was Matty? Why hadn't she arrived yet?

"Puppy?" said a sweet voice that he would know anywhere.

He whirled around to find himself snout-to-face with Matty, the most beautiful woman in the world, who was frowning slightly at him, feeling his ribs under his fur. Sirius whimpered.

"All right, all right," she sighed, laughing a bit. "Lead the way, puppy."

Sirius lead her away to his cave, tail wagging merrily as he thought about how wonderful it would be to kiss her, to hold her, to talk to her, to...

Well, there was a hippogriff in the cave, so he'd have to consider what the etiquette would be for that sort of a cave-mate.

But when they arrived, Sirius quickly changed back into human form and scooped her up in his arms, kissing her fiercely. He didn't want to let her go, despite the fact that she was pounding on his chest, demanding to be let go, probably so she could talk. Although he didn't want to, he ended the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Sirius, you're so thin," she moaned. "What have you been eating?"

He winced.

"Well, Harry and his friends brought me chicken the other day," he said awkwardly.

"And when you're not being fed by Hogwarts?" she demanded.

"You don't want to know," he admitted. "But if it helps, I cleaned my mouth completely before you were due. You're free to kiss me as much as you want without fear of disease, and I wish you would," he moaned, attempting to press his lips to hers once more.

As his lips went down her neck, though, she muttered, "What about the giant bird thing in the corner creepily watching us?"

"I can't very well put him out," Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry, darling, but Buckbeak's got to stay. I would say blindfold him, but I don't think hippogriffs take well to that sort of thing. But I need you, Matty. Please."

Before she had a chance to argue, he pressed her up against the cave wall and began assaulting her mouth once more. He knew he had her beyond argument and reason when she began clawing his back through his shirt.

The shirt in question was off rather quickly after that. Her nails scratched at his bare skin, then, awakening a carnal beast in him and prompting him to start tearing at her clothing as well, scrambling to remove it and make a pile of their clothes on the floor of the cave, a setting for their lustful bliss that would be more comfortable than the hard, cold ground. Peeling off their clothes bit by bit wasn't the exciting adventure it sometimes proved to be, but rather a hindrance from tasting her delicious body that he had been kept from for too long.

As soon as he had her laid down on the ground, he pressed her arms above her head and held them there, admiring what the position did for her gorgeous breasts.

"I have missed you so much," she sighed expectantly as he hovered his lips just above the skin of the breasts he was admiring. "Dreams and fantasies just aren't like the real thing, even when the real thing is this."

He smirked against her skin before placing hot, open-mouthed kisses all around her breasts and then suckling her right nipple gently. She squirmed, moaning softly at his actions.

Sirius did his very best not to make her scream, though. He didn't think Buckbeak would have appreciated that very much. He very nearly screamed, himself, though, so long without a proper release, a release inside of Matty. It probably wasn't even humane to go so long, but then, neither was eating rats and living in a cave with a hippogriff. Sirius wasn't exactly the walking example of humanity at that moment.

He kissed her forehead gently, gathering up enough strength to prop himself up on an elbow and smile down at her.

"I love you so much," he sighed. "I wish I could just keep you here forever and forget about everything else. I just want you."

"Well, we do have our girls," Matty reminded firmly. "But otherwise, that sounds lovely."

"The girls can have their own cave," Sirius teased. "I need a place to make love to you."

They laughed together, holding each other tightly.

"I think there's a rock in my back," Matty eventually whispered with a grimace. Sirius sighed, pulling her on top of him so that her body was lying on his, her chest on his chest. It felt right, supporting her weight, holding her and cuddling her.

"I should have killed him," Sirius whispered. "I should have killed him on the spot. I could be free and a proper husband and father instead of a fugitive living in a cave and eating rats."

Matty sat up a bit at this with a jerk.

"You're eating _rats_?" she squealed, horrified. "Sirius, that's disgusting!"

"Actually, it's not so bad," he murmured with a shrug. "I have to share with Buckbeak, though. Sometimes the villagers give me scraps when I play loveable stray. That the nice thing about being a dog. Anyway, I keep pretending I'm eating Peter. Makes it taste sweeter, if a bit slimier."

Matty groaned, clearly finding neither comfort nor humor in his words. She lay back down on his chest once more, running her fingers lightly across his skin.

"You're losing weight again," she whispered. "I wish you'd let me stay here, let me take care of you."

He smiled slightly.

"I wish it too," he sighed, "but unfortunately Remus needs you and at least I'm letting you see me. You can visit again sometime, if we set a date for it. Not too often. Maybe once more before the school year's out. Don't want to draw suspicion."

"I'm glad you're letting me see you," she whispered. "Remus doesn't know. He thinks I'm visiting Dumbledore about the girls, checking in, being an overprotective parent."

Sirius frowned. Why would she keep seeing him from Remus? What cause would she have to lie about that?

Then his blood boiled with jealousy. Was Remus still trying to win her over? Was she letting him? It was the only explanation he could think of to explain the deception.

"Why didn't you tell him?" he asked firmly, his voice hard as steal with anger.

Matty turned her head and frowned at him.

"Because he thinks it's dangerous," she said simply. "He doesn't want me getting either of us into danger. You know Remus, the ever-cautious prefect. He's not changed so much."

Oh, Sirius remembered. He remembered Remus getting Matty out of trouble all the time, going out of his way to keep her out of detention, probably hoping that she'd be grateful, that he could take advantage of being alone with her while Sirius and the others were in trouble... A growl built up in his throat.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" she whispered.

"You're mine, Matty," Sirius growled. "You're mine, and he can't have you!"

Matty frowned, looking confused and distressed.

"Of course I'm yours! Who are you talking about? Remus? Sirius, he hasn't tried anything, I promise. He feels terribly bad for what he'd already done. Sirius, you're innocent, and he knows it, just like he knows that I'm you're girl and I'd never leave you, not for him and not for anybody else."

Sirius knew he should calm down, but he couldn't calm down. Always, they were all after Matty. There was always someone trying to steal her away from him. There always had been. Prewett, Remus, even Peter at one point... The only person he'd ever been able to explicitly trust with his girl was James, because James was so head-over-heels for Lily that he didn't seem to even notice that other females existed. Sirius would never trust anyone, not even Remus, with his Matty.

"I'm not losing you," Sirius hissed finally, when he'd calmed down enough to speak. "I'm not losing you. I love you and I need you and you're _my_ girl, Matty, _mine_! I'm not losing you!"

"Shh," she soothed, petting his hair and kissing his cheek. "You're not going to lose me. I love you and I need you, and I'll always be your girl, Sirius. Yours and no one else's. All right?"

No, no it wasn't all right, but Sirius didn't have enough energy to continue panicking, so he just nodded a bit and kissed her lips, closing his eyes as she ran her fingers gently through his hair. The feel of her fingers on his scalp was insanely erotic and arousing. He nibbled on her lip lightly, enjoying the taste of her mouth on his, the same as ever. He didn't have enough energy to make love again, but he could enjoy this snogging.

"I wish I could get the girls," Sirius sighed, "and take you all on Buckbeak and fly my beautiful family to somewhere far away, somewhere warm, and just start over. We could be a perfect family and I could take all of you away from the pain and the memories and just have each other. I wish I could do that."

"But you can't," Matty sighed. "The girls need to stay here, and I need to be here for Remus, and Harry needs you here."

"Yeah," Sirius sighed. "Harry needs me here. I'd almost forgotten that."

How could he have forgotten about something as fundamental as Harry? In a way, Harry was his responsibility too, since James had died, as much his responsibility as Matty or his own daughters. And whatever Sirius thought about it, she had her loyalties to Remus, who had, admittedly, taken care of her and the girls all those years when Sirius should have been there to do it. No, they couldn't just pick up and leave, live somewhere else, start over as a real family, and there were so, so many reasons why not.

"I love you," he sighed. "But you have to go for now, I suppose. Tell Remus I said hey and that he needs to keep his hands off."

She giggled, kissing him gently.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "I'll tell him, and he'll roll his eyes and blush. The girls ask me about you every time they write. They're always wanting to know stories about their daddy. They love you, Sirius. They're proud of you."

"I'm so proud of them," Sirius sighed. "So proud. They're so beautiful and smart and wonderful. I love all of you. I love you all so much."

"We all love you, too," Matty sighed, getting up and getting her clothes together, pulling them out from under him. "Even Remus. I suppose I do have to go, now. I'll miss you."

"I'll write," he sighed, sitting up and kissing her thigh gently. "And you'll write. And we'll hopefully see each other again soon."

"That we will," she whispered, pulling him to his feet to kiss him once more before backing away from him, right to the mouth of the cave before smiling at him sadly, turning away, and walking out of his life again, for the time being.

Months passed with only the occasional visit from Matty or the regular letters from her and his daughters. It wasn't until Albus Dumbledore walked into the cave that Sirius knew something big was going to happen.

"Good evening, Sirius," the headmaster said softly. "I see you're doing quite well."

"Harry sends me food," Sirius shrugged, "and Matty's been trying to take care of me. You know how she is."

"Yes," Dumbledore said with a sad, distracted sort of smile. "She was always trying to take care of you. Full of energy, Matea Clondon. Your daughters are much the same."

Sirius winced, looking down at his hands.

"What do you want, Albus? Is it not safe for me here anymore? Or is there something wrong?" Suddenly, his heart began to pound and his head snapped up to look Albus Dumbledore in the eye. "They're all okay, aren't they? Matty and the girls? And Harry? Nothing's happened?"

"They're fine," Dumbledore said with a nod. "For now. Tomorrow, Harry goes into the maze for the final task of the Tournament. It's going to be dangerous, and I have a feeling something is going to happen, although I can't quite put my finger on what."

"And what would you have me do?" Sirius said softly.

"I want you and Matty on hand," Dumbledore said slowly. "I think if you come in dog form and you stay in my office, you'll be nearby if something does happen. And even if I'm wrong and nothing happens, I plan for you to have an hour or so when the task is done to meet your daughters... in your human form, of course. Would that be agreeable for you?"

Sirius's breath caught. Meet his daughters? He could hold them and kiss them and tell them how much he loved them...

"Have you talked with Matty?" Sirius whispered.

"I was waiting to have your approval first."

"Please, Albus, if she says we can, I want to do it. But I want her to say yes, please get her to say yes."

Albus smiled sadly at him.

"I expect that she will, Sirius. She wants your family to be whole again just as much as you. The girls will be pleased. I know they're very proud you're there father, Sirius."

"Matty said," Sirius said, swearing to himself he wasn't going to cry. "I just wish I deserved them."

"Oh, Sirius," Albus sighed, "none of us really deserve the love we receive from others, especially the pure love of a child's heart. I think you've done a fine job of setting an example of standing up for what you believe in, even when the world is against you, and fighting for those you love. Now, Buckbeak will have to stay here for now, I'm afraid, but how would you like a proper meal and a warm place to sleep tonight?"

Sirius frowned, stepping back from Albus Dumbledore.

"Are you asking me to stay in the castle?"

Albus nodded.

"For the night. I can't say what will happen after the task, but I imagine you would like to be properly rested and groomed for meeting your daughters. I can find some robes for you, as well. I have a particular house-elf at Hogwarts who serves Harry and his welfare with almost alarming diligence and if I explain that you are his godfather, I expect that he will serve you eagerly."

"I suppose I can't really argue with that," Sirius muttered, grinning.

Albus held out his arm.

"We are going to get Matty's permission, then," Albus said with a smile as Sirius took the man's arm.

When they arrived in the unfamiliar neighborhood, Sirius transformed into a dog hustling along beside Dumbledore as they approached a sweet-looking house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Dumbledore knocked sharply on the door, and there she was, Matty, opening it and frowning at Dumbledore.

"Albus," she said slowly. "I'm sorry, did you write? I wasn't expecting you. Is something wrong with the girls? Or Sirius?"

Sirius barked and she looked down, eyes growing incredibly wide.

"Sirius?" she gasped. He nuzzled her leg with his snout.

"May we come in?" Albus said gently.

"Of course," she said breathlessly.

Albus was right, it didn't take long to convince Matty it was a good idea, especially when he promised that Sirius would get a chance to spend a bit of time with his daughters. When she found that out, any previous objections she'd made melted away.

"When do we leave?" she said eagerly, and Albus took them to the Hogwarts gates straight away, walking them up the grounds to the castle, through the corridors to his office.

"I have some matters to attend to. I am sure you are capable of entertaining yourselves," he said as Sirius shifted into human form. "I must ask, however, that when you go to sleep you return to dog form and remain so until I specifically tell you otherwise."

"Of course," Sirius said hoarsely, wrapping his arms around Matty lovingly. "Thank you, Albus."

When they were left alone, Matty turned quickly, ignoring the indignant protests of the portraits on the wall and kissed Sirius deeply, pulling him towards her by his shoulders.

"I've missed you," she sighed. "If Harry weren't potentially in trouble, I'd almost be pleased about this whole thing, you getting to spend the night in Hogwarts, seeing the girls."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "We've got to be reasonable, though. Albus is right, if I'm seeing my daughters tomorrow, I need to be presentable. The house-elf he's sending up tomorrow can take care of food, but he's given me permission to shower and change and groom and I'm going to take him up on it. The girls are proud of me, and I want to keep it that way. You make yourself comfortable, darling and I'll come out when I'm finished and transform and we can sleep like that, all right?"

She smiled.

"It's been a while since we've slept like that," she whispered, "me cuddling with you in dog form. The fur's comforting somehow."

"Then I hope it's a grand comfort to you tonight, darling," he whispered, kissing her forehead before going about making himself presentable.

He was going to see his little girls. Nothing could keep him from smiling at that.


	14. Facing the Music

**A/N: This chapter is, as well, dedicated to **_**SiriusIsMyPuppy**_**, my lovely regular reviewer! Talk about dedication, **_**SIMP**_** reviewed right away when the last chapter went up! Dedication is rewarded! Thanks so much, **_**SIMP**_**, you keep this story plugging along!**

** -J**

Matty sat on the makeshift cot they'd set up the night before and watched Sirius as he paced the floor of Dumbledore's office in dog form. Dobby, the house-elf designated to serve them, had brought food for them for each meal. He left steak for Sirius and several delicious-looking meals. They were waiting to find out how the Tournament went.

"I think he was tied for the lead going into tonight," Matty said softly. "He's got good chances of winning, then. The odds on him were excellent in the betting circles, I know. Anyway, this is just precautionary, love. Everything's going to be fine. Harry's going to be okay, and we'll get to see the girls, and it will be fine. Oh, please stop pacing. It's making me dizzy."

So Sirius reluctantly went over and curled up at her feet, letting her scratch him behind the ears as they waited, waited through the maddening silence.

Suddenly, the door open and Sirius jumped to his feet again, expecting Dumbledore with horrible news.

Instead, it was Professor McGonagall, looking a bit frazzled. Something was wrong, but what?

"Miss Clondon," Professor McGonagall said sharply, "you and your dog are to be instructed that Professor Dumbledore will meet with you shortly."

"Yes, of course," Matty said breathlessly, putting her hand on Sirius, probably looking for some sort of comfort that he didn't know how to give. "May I ask what's happened?"

"A great many things, I'm afraid," Professor McGonagall said wearily. "I don't know the whole of it yet, but I can say for sure that Cedric Diggory has died."

Matty gripped his fur viciously, and Professor McGonagall turned and left, probably having to take care of something else on Dumbledore's request. As soon as she was gone, Sirius disregarded his orders and shifted into human form, sitting beside Matty and holding her as she shook with fear.

"Something truly terrible's happened," she whispered. "This isn't just some result of the tournament or she would have said so. Something terrible..."

"It's going to be okay, Matty, I promise," Sirius whispered, petting her gently as she shook violently against him. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you or the girls, all right? No matter what's happened."

She nodded into his shoulder and had just composed herself when the door opened again. In walked Dumbledore and Harry. There was blood and they were both grim, excited, frightened even.

Sirius left Matty sitting on the bed as he crossed quickly to Harry.

"Harry, are you all right? I knew it - I knew something like this - what happened?"

He helped Harry over to the cot and helped him sit down beside Matty, who took the boy's hand gently.

Dumbledore explained to them everything Barty Crouch, Jr. (the disgusting Death Eater scum) had said. Sirius felt sick as he thought of his daughters being taught by a Death Eater in disguise, and one who seemed to have taken a particular interest in them. He wanted to see them right away, wanted to know they were safe and unharmed. But that would have to wait.

Harry said something softly to the phoenix and Dumbledore stopped, looking directly at Harry. He pulled the chair over across from Harry and sat down determinedly.

"I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry," he said softly.

"We can leave that till morning, can't we, Dumbledore?" Sirius said sharply. He put his hand protectively on Harry's shoulder. "He needs sleep and I need to see my daughters."

Dumbledore ignored him, however, leaning in closer to Harry.

"If I thought I could help you," Dumbledore said gently, "but putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell me what happened."

Harry took a deep breath and began to tell them a story, everything from the graveyard to Voldemort's revival, to the arrival of the Death Eaters, to the death of Cedric Diggory. Sirius was agitated, furious, terrified. The way Matty was squeezing Harry's hand with tears in her eyes, he could tell it was upsetting her.

When Harry told them of Peter's cutting his arm, Matty actually let out a squeak of fright and Dumbledore grabbed Harry's arm, showing off to them all where Harry's robes were torn and his arm was cut.

"He said my blood would make him stronger," Harry said softly. "He said the protection my - my mother left in me - he'd have it too. And he was right - he could touch me without hurting himself, he touched my face."

There was a half a moment when Sirius didn't understand what Dumbledore was thinking, when something passed over the man's eyes, but then he said, "Very well. Voldemort has overcome that particular barrier. Harry, continue, please."

And the tale went on, Voldemort coming alive, bits of the speech he gave his Death Eaters, being untied, having his wand handed to him, dueling Lord Voldemort. He had difficulty retelling and explaining exactly what happened, something about a golden beam of light joining their wands, people emerging from the beam... Harry fell into silence leaving confusion to settle over the room.

"The wands connected?" Sirius said, looking from Harry to Dumbledore for explanation. "Why?"

"_Priori Incantatem_," Dumbledore whispered.

"The Reverse Spell effect?" Sirius said sharply, still not fully understanding.

"Exactly," said Dumbledore. "Harry's wand and Voldemort's share cores. Each of them contains a feather from the tail of the same phoenix. _This_ phoenix, in fact," he said, pointing to his bird which had perched on Harry's knee.

"My wand's feather came from Fawkes?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Mr. Ollivander wrote to tell me you had bought the second wand, the moment you left his shop four years ago."

"So what happens when a wand meets its brother?" Matty asked softly. "I don't understand."

"They will not work properly against each other," Dumbledore explained. "If, however, the owners of the wands force the wands to do battle... a very rare effect will take place. One of the wands will force the other to regurgitate spells it has performed - in reverse. The most recent first... and then those which preceded it..."

Harry nodded.

"Which means," Dumbledore continued slowly, watching Harry, "that some form of Cedric must have reappeared."

Harry nodded again.

"Diggory came back to life?" Sirius said sharply, watching the almost excited gleam in Matty's eyes with worry. She was thinking of Caradoc.

"No spell can reawaken the dead," Dumbledore said heavily, looking specifically at Matty as he said it. "All that would have happened is a kind of reverse echo. A shadow of the living Cedric would have emerged from the wand... am I correct, Harry?"

"He spoke to me," Harry said, shaking under Sirius's hand. "The... the ghost Cedric, or whatever he was, spoke."

"An echo," Dumbledore said, "which retained Cedric's appearance and character. I am guessing other such forms appeared... less recent victims of Voldemort's wand..."

"An old man," Harry said slowly. "Bertha Jorkins. And..."

"Your parents?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

"Yes," Harry whispered.

Sirius gripped Harry's shoulder even tighter, looking over to see that Matty truly did have tears flowing down her face as she clutched at Harry's hand.

"The last murders the wand performed," said Dumbledore, nodding. "In reverse order. More would have appeared, of course, had you maintained the connection. Very well, Harry, these echoes, these shadows... what did they do?"

Harry explained that they stayed on the edge of the conflict, how James had told Harry what he had to do, how Cedric asked to be taken back to his father. And then Sirius covered his own face with his hands hiding the tears that had begun to run down his own face. Harry stopped speaking.

"I will say it again," Dumbledore said after a pause. "You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you tonight, Harry. You have shown bravery equal to those who died fighting Voldemort at the height of his powers. You have shouldered a grown wizard's burden and found yourself equal to it - and you have now given us all we have a right to expect. You will come with me to the hospital wing. I do not want you returning to the dormitory tonight. A Sleeping Potion, and some peace... Sirius, I think you and Matty ought to stay with him. The girls are going to be there when we arrive, I've had them sent along. There will be time for talking with them as well."

Sirius nodding, standing and transforming into a dog as he walked with Matty, Harry, and Dumbledore to the infirmary.

When they arrived, there were Weasleys waiting for him, and Hermione, and there were Sirius's beautiful little girls, rushing over to hug their mother at once and then sitting down on the floor, hugging and petting Sirius as a dog. Mrs. Weasley squeaked and said Harry's name, about to hurry toward him as well.

"Molly," Dumbledore said firmly, stepping between them, "please listen to me for a moment. Harry has been through a terrible ordeal tonight. He has just had to relive it for me. What he needs now is sleep, and peace, and quiet. If he would like you all to stay with him," he added, looking around, you may do so. The Clondon girls will be staying here as well, visiting with their mother and her companion. There may be more time in the morning for what we discussed, Matea, we shall see, but for now I don't want any questioning Harry until he's ready to answer, certainly not this evening, and there ought to be some quiet."

Molly Weasley nodding, pale as a sheet. She rounded on the others with her, glaring at them and hissing, "Did you hear? He needs quiet."

"Headmaster," said Madam Pomfrey, looking down at Sirius with an uneasy expression, "may I ask what-?"

"This dog will be remaining with Harry and the Clondon girls for a while," Dumbledore said. "I assure you, he is extremely well trained. Harry - I will wait while you get into bed."

Harry nodded, climbing into bed.

"I will be back to see you as soon as I have met with Fudge, Harry," Dumbledore said gently. "I would like you to remain here tomorrow until I have spoken to the school."

With that, he left.

Sirius didn't pay much attention to what was going on with Harry at that moment. He was being well tended by Madam Pomfrey and Harry's Weasley-heavy entourage. Matty was taking his sleepy-looking little girls and putting them in an empty cot across from the one Harry was in. Sirius held in the happy bark he wanted to give at the sight of Merryn patting the bed, expecting him to join them. He did so, of course, jumping onto the bed, tail wagging, and stretching out between his beautiful little girls, who both hugged him eagerly as they laid their heads on his back like he was their pillow. Nothing could dim the pride he felt as he laid there, being a comfort and support to his beautiful, wonderful daughters.

He quietly dozed, feeling the fingers of one of them curling up in his fur subconsciously as she slept.

/-/

Sirius woke to the sound of whispering and distant shouting, feeling Merryn stirring beside him as she sat up slightly. Maëlle was already awake, frowning at her mother.

"They'll wake him if they don't shut up!" someone whispered.

"What are they shouting about? Nothing else can have happened, can it?"

Mrs. Weasley stood, frowning.

"That's Fudge's voice," she whispered. "And that's Minerva McGonagall's, isn't it? But what are they arguing about?"

The shouting voices were growing closer.

"Regrettable, but all the same, Minerva-" Fudge was saying entirely too loudly.

"You should never have brought it inside the castle!" McGonagall yelled. "When Dumbledore finds out-!"

The door opened and Merryn gripped Sirius's fur tightly. He licked her face, hoping it would comfort her. In walked Fudge, McGonagall, and Snape.

"Where's Dumbledore?" Fudge snapped to the room at large.

"He's not here," Matty said firmly, glaring at Fudge, her hand on her shaking child. "This is a hospital wing, Minister, and you really ought to-"

Just then, the door opened again and Dumbledore came into the room.

"What has happened?" he said sharply, looking around at them all. "Why are you disturbing these people? Minerva, I'm surprised at you - I asked you to stand guard over Barty Crouch-"

"There is no need to stand guard over him anymore, Dumbledore!" she cried in response. In all of Sirius's years of driving her up the wall, he'd never seen her so upset. "The Minister has seen to that!"

"When we told Mr. Fudge that we had caught the Death Eater responsible for tonight's events," Snape said in his low, silky, detestable voice, "he seemed to feel his personal safety was in question. He insisted on summoning a dementor to accompany him into the castle. He brought it up to the office where Barty Crouch-"

"I told him you would not agree, Dumbledore!" McGonagall said vehemently, and Sirius was glad that all of the attention was elsewhere, because he was shaking at the very thought of the dementors. "I told him you would never allow dementors to set foot inside the castle, but-"

"My dear woman!" Fudge said quite loudly, much more furious than suited such a jolly, bumbling man. "As Minister of Magic, it is my decision whether I wish to bring protection with me when interviewing a possibly dangerous-"

And McGonagall yelled over him, "The moment that - that thing entered the room, it swooped down on Crouch and - and-"

Sirius began to whimper softly and Maëlle kissed his head, petting him soothingly. The Dementor's Kiss.

"By all accounts, he is no loss!" Fudge said angrily. "It seems he has been responsible for several deaths!"

"But he cannot now give testimony, Cornelius," Dumbledore said firmly, obviously very disappointed in Fudge. "He cannot give evidence about why he killed those people."

"Why he killed them? Well, that's no mystery, is it?" Fudge blustered. "He was a raving lunatic! From what Minerva and Severus have told me, he seems to have thought he was doing it all on You-Know-Who's instructions!"

"Lord Voldemort _was_ giving him instructions, Cornelius," Dumbledore said. The girls both gasped, clutching and hugging Sirius even tighter. He could feel them shaking in fear on either side of him. "Those people's deaths were mere by-products of a plan to restore Voldemort to full strength again. The plan succeeded. Voldemort has been restored to his body."

Fudge just blinked at Dumbledore for a long moment.

"You-Know-Who... returned? Preposterous. Come now, Dumbledore..."

"As Minerva and Severus have doubtless told you," Dumbledore said firmly, "we heard Barty Crouch confess. Under the influence of Veritaserum, he told us how we was smuggled out of Azkaban, and how Voldemort - learning of his continued existence from Bertha Jorkins - went to free him from his father and used him to capture Harry. The plan worked, I tell you. Crouch has helped Voldemort to return."

"See here, Dumbledore," Fudge said, grinning just a bit, "you - you can't seriously believe that. You-Know-Who - back? Come now, come now... certainly, Crouch may have _believed_ himself to be acting upon You-Know-Who's orders - but to take the word of a lunatic like that, Dumbledore..."

"When Harry touched the Triwizard Cup tonight, he was transported straight to Voldemort," Dumbledore explained. "He witnessed Lord Voldemort's rebirth. I will explain it all to you if you will step up to my office. I am afraid I cannot permit you to question Harry tonight."

Fudge's stupid smile was still there.

"You are - er - prepared to take Harry's word on this, are you, Dumbledore?"

The momentary silence was broken when Sirius could no longer hold in his growl, baring his teeth at Fudge.

"Certainly I believe Harry," Dumbledore said, looking nothing short of furious. "I heard Crouch's confession, and I heard Harry's account of what happened after he touched the Triwizard Cup; the two stories make sense, they explain everything that has happened since Bertha Jorkins disappeared last summer."

"You are prepared to believe that Lord Voldemort has returned on the word of a lunatic murderer, and a boy who... well..."

"You've been reading Rita Skeeter, Mr. Fudge," Harry said softly.

Nearly everyone in the room jumped but Dumbledore and Fudge, who already must have realized that Harry was awake.

"And if I have?" he said, more to Dumbledore than to Harry. "If I have discovered that you've been keeping certain facts about the boy very quiet? A Parselmouth, eh? And having funny turns all over the place-"

"I assume you are referring to the pains Harry has been experiencing in his scar?" Dumbledore said in the most icy tone Sirius thought he'd heard in his life.

"You admit that he has been having these plains, then?" Fudge said eagerly. "Headaches? Nightmares? Possibly - hallucinations?"

"Listen to me, Cornelius," Dumbledore said, stepping toward Fudge and looking absolutely terrifying. "Harry is as sane as you or I. The scar upon his forehead has not addled his brains. I believe it hurts him when Lord Voldemort is close by, or feeling particularly murderous.

Fudge stepped back slightly, but didn't look as though he was backing down at any point soon.

"You'll forgive me, Dumbledore, but I've never heard of a curse scar acting as an alarm bell before..."

"Look, I saw Voldemort come back!" Harry shouted, trying to get out of bed, but Molly Weasley pressed him back. "I saw the Death Eaters! I can give you their names! Lucius Malfoy-"

Snape twitched slightly, but it was minor.

"Malfoy was cleared!" Fudge said, looking almost insulted. "A very old family - donations to excellent causes-"

"Macnair!" Harry shouted.

"Also cleared! Now working for the Ministry!"

"Avery - Nott - Crabbe - Goyle-"

"You are merely repeating the names of those who were acquitted of being Death Eaters thirteen years ago!" Fudge snapped. "You could have found those names in old reports of the trials! For heaven's sake, Dumbledore - the boy was full of some crackpot story at the end of last year too - his tales are getting taller, and you're still swallowing them - the boy can talk to snakes, Dumbledore, and you still think he's trustworthy?"

"You fool!" McGonagall shrieked. "Cedric Diggory! Mr. Crouch! These deaths were not the random work of a lunatic!"

"I see no evidence to the contrary!" Fudge roared, his face purpling. "It seems to me that you are all determined to start a panic that will destabilize everything we have worked for these last thirteen years!"

"Voldemort has returned," Dumbledore repeated firmly. "If you accept that fact straightaway, Fudge, and take the necessary measures, we may still be able to save the situation. The first and most essential step is to remove Azkaban from the control of the dementors-"

"Preposterous!" Fudge shouted. "Remove the dementors? I'd be kicked out of office for suggesting it! Half of us only feel safe in our beds at night because we know the dementors are standing guard at Azkaban!"

"The rest of us sleep less soundly in our beds, Cornelius, knowing that you have put Lord Voldemort's most dangerous supporters in the care of creatures who will join him the instant he asks them!" Dumbledore said sternly. "They will not remain loyal to you, Fudge! Voldemort can offer them much more scope for their powers and their pleasures than you can! With the dementors behind him, and his old supporters returned to him, you will be hard-pressed to stop him regaining the sort of power he had thirteen years ago!"

Fudge spluttered, flopping his mouth about like a fish.

"The second step you must take - and at once," Dumbledore continued, unconcerned with the behavior of Fudge, "is to send envoys to the giants."

"Envoys to the giants?" Fudge squawked. "What madness is this?"

"Extend the hand of friendship, now, before it is too late," Dumbledore said calmly, "or Voldemort will persuade them, as he did before, that he alone among wizards will give them their rights and their freedom!"

"You - you cannot be serious!" Fudge gasped, taking several more steps away from Dumbledore. "If the magical community got wind that I had approached the giants - people hate them, Dumbledore - end of my career-"

"You are blinded," Dumbledore said, raising his voice for the first time Sirius had heard in a long, long time, "by the love of the office you hold, Cornelius! You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be! Your dementor has just destroyed the last member of a pure-blood family as old as any - and see what that man chose to make of his life! I tell you now - take the steps I have suggested, and you will be remembered, in office or out, as one of the bravest and greatest Ministers of Magic we have ever known. Fail to act - and history will remember you as the man who stepped aside and allowed Voldemort a second chance to destroy the world we have tried to rebuild!"

"Insane," whispered Fudge, still backing away from Dumbledore pointlessly. "Mad..."

And then there was silence.

"If your determination to shut your eyes will carry you as far as this, Cornelius," Dumbledore said calmly, "we have reached a parting of the ways. You must act as you see fit. And I - I shall act as I see fit."

It wasn't threatening, just a statement of fact, but Fudge's reaction suggested otherwise.

"Now see here, Dumbledore," Fudge said, waving his finger angrily. "I've given you free rein, always. I've had a lot of respect for you. I might not have agreed with some of your decisions, but I've kept quiet. There aren't many who'd let you hire werewolves, or keep Hagrid, or decide what to teach your students without reference to the Ministry. But if you're going to work against me-"

"The only one against whom I intend to work," Dumbledore said, still calm, "is Lord Voldemort. If you are against him, then we remain, Cornelius, on the same side."

Fudge didn't seem to know what to do, struggling for a moment before saying, "He can't be back, Dumbledore, he just can't be..."

Suddenly, Snape strode forward, straight past Dumbledore and up to Fudge, rolling up the sleeve of his robes and thrusting his forearm out to Fudge, who recoiled from it.

"There," Snape snapped. "There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can see still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater we were to Disapperate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side. This Mark has been growing clearer all year. Karkaroff's too. Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight? We both felt the Mark burn. We both knew he had returned. Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord's vengeance. He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eaters to be sure of a welcome back into the fold."

Fudge stepped back again.

"I don't know what you and your staff are playing at, Dumbledore, but I have heard enough. I have no more to add. I will be in touch with you tomorrow, Dumbledore, to discuss the running of this school. I must return to the Ministry."

He had almost made it to the door when he stopped. He turned, strode back to Harry, and said, "Your winnings," dropping a large bag of gold onto Harry's bedside table. "One thousand Galleons. There should have been a presentation ceremony, but under the circumstances..."

And with that he slammed his hat on his head and took off. As soon as the door slammed behind him, Dumbledore turned back to the room at large.

"There is work to be done," he said. "Molly... am I right in thinking that I can count on you and Arthur?"

"Of course you can," said Mrs. Weasley. She was incredibly pale, but her voice was firm. "We know what Fudge is. It's Arthur's fondness for Muggles that has held him back at the Ministry all these years. Fudge thinks he lacks proper wizarding pride."

"Then I need to send a message to Arthur," said Dumbledore. "All those that we can persuade of the truth must be notified immediately, and he is well placed to contact those at the Ministry who are not as shortsighted as Cornelius."

"I'll go to Dad," the older Weasley boy said, standing. "I'll go now."

"Excellent," Dumbledore said. "Tell him what has happened. Tell him I will be in direct contact with him shortly. He will need to be discreet, however. If Fudge thinks I am interfering at the Ministry-"

"Leave it to me," the boy said.

As soon as he'd left, Dumbledore turned to Professor McGonagall.

"Minerva, I want to see Hagrid in my office as soon as possible. Also - if she will consent to come - Madame Maxime."

She nodded and left right away.

"Poppy," Dumbledore said, " would you be very kind and go down to Professor Moody's office where I think you will find a house-elf called Winky in considerable distress? Do what you can for her, and take her back to the kitchens. I think Dobby will look after her for us."

"Very - very well," Madam Pomfrey said, surprised, but she took off swiftly.

As soon as the door was closed behind her and her footsteps had died away down the hall, he turned and spoke again.

"And now," he said, "it is time for two of our number to recognize each other for what they are. Sirius... if you could resume your usual form."

Sirius blinked at Dumbledore and then shifted instantly into human form, relishing the change in sensation as his daughters went from hugging his fur to hugging his neck.

Molly Weasley screamed, leaping backwards.

"Sirius Black!" she shrieked.

"Mum, shut up!" Ron yelled. "It's okay!"

"Daddy!" both girls cried at once, hugging Sirius even tighter, and Sirius didn't bother fighting the tears in his eyes as they clung to him and he flung his arms eagerly around them, grasping at their silky blonde hair and just wrapping his mind around the fact that he was holding them, holding his daughters.

Snape's face contorted unattractively.

"Him!" he snarled, and Sirius even felt hatred on his own face through the joy of holding his daughters. "What is he doing here?"

"He is here at my invitation," Dumbledore said firmly, "as is Matea, as are you, Severus. I trust all three of you. It is time for you to lay aside your old differences and trust each other."

Sirius thought that was a bit much.

"I will settle, in the short term," he continued impatiently, "for the lack of open hostility. You will shake hands. You are on the same side now. Time is short, and unless the few of us who know the truth stand united, there is no hope for any of us."

After a brief moment, Matty moved forward and held out her hand determinedly to Snape, who shook it briefly. That brief touch, though, was enough to make him want to murder the greasy git on the spot. Instead, swallowing his pride, he shook the man's hand very, very briefly, and even smile appreciatively at Merryn's noise of disgust.

"That will do to be going on with," Dumbledore said, stepping between them. "Now I have work for each of you. Fudge's attitude, though not unexpected, changes everything. Sirius and Matea, I need you to set off as soon as you've had some time in private with your daughters. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher - the old crowd. Lie low at Lupine's for a while, not your own place; I will contact you there and we will find a way to keep your daughters close to you this summer."

"But-" Harry began, looking a bit upset.

"You'll see us very soon, Harry," Sirius said firmly. "I promise you. But I must do what I can, you understand, don't you?"

"Yeah," Harry said, obviously still wanting to protest. "Yeah... of course I do."

And Sirius smiled at him, transforming into a dog once more and following Matty and their daughters out of the room, down the hall, and into a nearby classroom that Matty magically locked.


	15. Aftermath

**A/N: This chapter (OMG trend!) is dedicated to **_**SiriusIsMyPuppy**_**, whose devotion to this story keeps it going even when I get exhausted just thinking about how much further I have to go with it! I LOVE YOU **_**SIMP**_**!**

** -J**

Sirius transformed back into his human form and scooped his girls onto his lap as he sat down on a nearby desk.

"Do you really have to go?" Maëlle said softly, nuzzling her face into his neck.

"I'm afraid I do," Sirius sighed. "You heard Professor Dumbledore, though. I'll see you both very soon. And it's a good thing, too; you've both grown so much!"

"You're much more handsome than you're prison photos," Merryn said, brushing her little fingers on his face thoughtfully. "Mummy showed us some old pictures of you. You look more like then, now."

He struggled to hold back the tears.

"And you are two of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen," he said tightly. "Just like your mother. You're going to be a couple of gorgeous young women someday... someday soon. You're already well on your way."

Indeed, he had noticed that his daughters were already growing breasts. Had Matty matured so quickly? Was that the normal age for girls to start getting figures?

"When we're together," Sirius said, more to Matty than the girls, "he may mean when we've found a secure place for the Order again, somewhere where I can stay and be safe like a caged animal. I know where it's going to end up being, Matty, and I don't want my girls living there, or you, for that matter."

"Would you rather be separated from them?" Matty said sadly. "I'm afraid, especially with recent circumstances, this may be the best option, love."

"She called him love," he heard one of the girls whisper to the other, and they giggled happily.

No, now that he'd been around them like this even for moments, he didn't want to give it up for anything. He nodded, burying his face in Merryn's hair and breathing deeply.

She smelled like flowers... like... like...

"Cherry blossoms," he said softly, a smile creeping onto his lips. "Do they still make that shampoo?"

"Yes," Matty said with a grin, knowing he was remembering how he loved to use about twice as much as he needed to on her hair when they showered together, just because he loved the smell of it. "The girls wanted to use exactly what I used, so when they went away to school I bought them their own."

"I love it," he said with a grin, hugging the girls a little tighter. "Now listen to me, both of you. School's almost over. Just hang tight, enjoy the time with your friends, and keep your heads up high until the end of the year. You'll see me again soon enough, and then we'll get time as a proper family. All right?"

The girls nodded and sniffled and he found himself not wanting to part with them. Matty had to physically pry the girls from him, partly because of how tightly they were clinging to him, partly because of how desperately he didn't want to let them go.

"There," she said softly, kissing them both on the head. "We'll walk you back to Gryffindor Tower, but then we have to go, all right? You heard what Professor Dumbledore said. There's work that we need to do. It's very important."

"Is he really back?" Merryn said softly as Sirius shifted back into dog form. "Is You-Know-Who really alive again?"

"Yes," Matty said firmly, but her voice quivered just a bit. "Yes, Merryn, Voldemort is back."

The party of four was silent all the way up to Gryffindor Tower, where Matty and Merryn kissed their mother and the dog-version of their father goodbye and Matty led a whining Sirius away when they disappeared into the portrait hole. They walked down to the gates, out of the range of Hogwarts, and then he transformed into a human again just long enough for Matty to Apparate them to Remus's flat.

She knocked on the door urgently. There was no answer. She knocked again.

"One minute!" said a tired voice on the other side of the door.

Remus took one tired look at them and ushered them inside. When Sirius had changed Remus said, "What happened?"

Matty and Sirius explained the events of the night, explained what Harry had witnessed as best they could, and explained the situation between Dumbledore and Fudge.

"He's asked us to alert the old crowd, starting with you, and to stay here until he contacts us," Matty said, clutching Sirius's hand nervously.

"Right," Remus said, pacing a bit. "Right. Well, there aren't very many people left, but I guess that we can sit down, make up a list. Sirius really shouldn't be going around. It will probably have to be me or Matty..."

"I'm not letting my wife go around out there alone, not when he's back!" Sirius snapped, and when Matty and Remus looked at him, wide-eyed, he realized his mistake.

"I mean," he began, flushing with embarrassment.

But Matty didn't give him a chance to explain or take it back. She pressed her lips eagerly to his, practically pushing him over she came at him so quickly. Sirius, a bit stunned, reacted more on instinct than anything else, wrapping his arms around her and instantly kissing her back.

"Right," Sirius heard Remus say as the two of them fell to the floor. "I guess I'm going on my own, then. Don't... don't go anywhere. I mean. Ugh, never mind. I'll be back later."

But they didn't listen, and as soon as the door behind him closed, Sirius and Matty began working off their close.

"I love you," she moaned as his lips grazed down her chest. "Oh, Sirius, I love you so much."

Sirius, getting lost in the heat of the moment, whispered in her ear, "Let's have more children."

Matty's eyes, which had closed in ecstasy, opened suddenly, looking afraid for some reason.

"Sirius, I'm not so sure about that," she whispered, staring at him like he might bite her. He frowned.

"Why not? We already know we make beautiful babies. The girls have turned out fabulous even without a father, and maybe they'd like more siblings. I'd sort of like to do it right this time."

He couldn't understand why she was crying. What had he said wrong? Hadn't she wanted a house full of children? Hadn't that always been one of her dreams?

"What about the war?" she sniffled. "You know there's going to be another war, Sirius."

"Matty, that's why I want it so badly," he whispered. "That's why it can't wait. What if something were to happen to you, or to me, and we just had this one chance to leave behind one more joint piece of us. Wouldn't you want that?"

To his utter shock and confusion, Matty was practically convulsing with gasping sobs.

"Matty, what's wrong?" he insisted, wrapping his arms around her.

"I can't," she managed to moan.

"Can't what?" he said, soothingly. The panic was building up inside him, though and he didn't know what to do.

When Matty looked up at him she looked so ashamed that his heart instantly broke.

"I can't have any more children," she whispered, the pain so obvious in her voice that he wanted to wince, but thought better of it. Clearly, that would be counterproductive. "There were... there were complications with the twins and... and I'm not able to have any more children, Sirius. I'm so sorry. I... I almost lost them. I don't even really understand what happened. I didn't want them to explain it. I didn't want to know. I... I'm so sorry, Sirius, I really am-"

"Stop saying that," he said firmly. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Matty."

He hugged her tightly to him as she sobbed into his chest, muttering things that made Sirius hate himself for even bringing it up.

Yes, he would have loved to have had more children. Especially with how wonderful the girls turned out, it would have been marvelous to raise his children this time around. But Matty... well, if she couldn't have them, he would rather have her, obviously. But she kept muttering foolishness about how someone else could give him the children that he wanted, and no matter what he said about how he didn't want someone else, she wouldn't see reason.

When Remus finally returned to the flat and found her crumpled in Sirius's arms, tearstains on her cheeks, he frowned, raising his eyebrows on at them questioningly.

Sirius managed to lay her sleeping form gently on the sofa, leading Remus into the kitchen to talk.

"I didn't know," he whispered. "She never told me about the complications."

"With the delivery?" Remus said sadly. "Yes. I thought I was going to lose all of them at once. It was terrible. You were lucky, at least, missing that part, even if you were otherwise cursed."

"I wish she would have told me," Sirius sighed. "I wish she would have said something. If I had even _guessed_ I never would have said..."

"What did you say?" Remus demanded. "Sirius, _what did you say_?"

Sirius shook his head sadly and whispered, "I asked to have more children. I said I wanted more children. I had no idea, Remus! I... When she started crying like that I felt terrible! Merlin, I still feel terrible! She's convinced I don't want her anymore, that I want someone who can have kids. Remus, you have to help me explain, I don't want anyone but her, children or no children!"

"She knows, Sirius," Remus sighed mournfully. "She's just a bit out of sorts, what with everything that's happened tonight. I'm sure she's tired as well. Of all the times for this to happen, this was probably the worst and I'm sure that when she's up in the morning and you two sit down and have a civil, normal talk, everything will be fine."

"I don't know," Sirius said skeptically.

"If it's necessary," Remus conceded, "I'll step in and remind her of what you already know. Everything's going to be fine."

"You don't know that," Sirius sighed weakly. "We really don't know anything about how things are going to be now. I hope nothing happens to the girls."

"The girls will be fine," Remus said urgently, sitting down across from Sirius. "They have to be. I think even if you didn't lose Matty, losing the girls would make her lose her mind. She's already lost so much."

"She wants him back, Remus," Sirius whispered, looking down at his hands. "Caradoc. Harry... there were ghosts of his parents that came out of Voldemort's wand, echoes Dumbledore called them. She got hopeful. I know she was thinking of him."

Remus frowned.

"There was never anything romantic between them, Sirius. You know that."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius sighed. "But he meant so much to her. So much. He was like... like the brother she'd always wanted. And she lost her sisters, too... Merlin, I hated them."

"Don't tell her that," Remus warned.

"I know," Sirius said with a chuckle. "But if something were to happen to the girls... You're right, Moony, I'd never pull her out of that sort of a trauma. I'd lose her forever."

He felt sick at the thought.

"Everything's going to turn out all right, Sirius," Remus said gently. "You'll see. For whatever it's worth, you're all she talks about anymore. I suppose that counts for something, now, doesn't it?"

Sirius nodded, fighting the urge to pace. Pacing wouldn't help anything and he was already more tired than he wanted to be.

"So was the response good?"

"Could have been better I suppose," Remus sighed. "But the core's back and we can build from there. I wish Matty didn't have to fight this time."

"Me too," Sirius muttered, frowning and wringing his hands. "But we're going to need everyone we can get and Matty knows what she's doing. The key is that my daughters and Harry don't have to get any more involved than necessary. Particularly my girls."

Almost on cue, there was a knock on the door and Remus hurried away to let in Albus Dumbledore, who looked a bit tense.

"Sirius," Albus said softly. "Remus. Is Matea all right?"

"Matty got a bit upset," Sirius said with a wince. "She, um... She told me that she's unable to have children for the first time and of course I stuck my foot in it pretty good without even realizing."

"Ah," Albus sighed. "Yes, I understand how that could happen. She is, as you could imagine, remarkably excitable about that. Well, you understand. I suppose you mentioned wanting more kids?"

"Yes," Sirius whispered. "I suppose that's perfectly understandable. Albus, you know she wanted to see Caradoc again."

"Yes, she did," Albus said softly. "But she understands that she can never see him again. She's lived quite a long time with that fact. I believe she's come to terms with it very well, much better than the thought that you might have truly been guilty. Death has a certain finality about it."

Sirius would have loved to have been able to believe that absolutely, but it was so hard to believe anything at that point. Most of the things he thought he knew had been turned on their heads in just a single day, which was probably how Matty and Remus had felt when they respectively learned the truth of Sirius's innocence. But they had other business to attend to, and Albus didn't let them dwell on their own lives for long.

"I assume you've finished getting in touch with the old crowd?" he asked firmly.

"Yes, sir," Remus said eagerly. "I've made up a list of who said they'll be back. It's... well, a bit shorter than I would have expected. Well, shorter than I would have hoped."

"A lot of people died," Sirius said solemnly. "If I were a survivor, I might like to stay that way too."

"You _are_ a survivor," said a small voice from the doorway and Matty was there, swaying slightly where she stood with exhaustion.

"Hey, love," Sirius said eagerly, rushing over to the doorway and wrapping Matty up in his arms to steady her. "We were just talking about-"

"I know, Sirius," Matty sighed. "I want to sit down."

Sirius led her over to a chair and watched her intently as she rubbed her eyes, then looked up at the three men standing around her, watching her. She sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry I was so melodramatic. It's been a long day."

"Understandable," Albus said with a nod. "Shall we focus on moving forward from here?"

They all nodded.

"We will need a secure place for headquarters, a place that Sirius in particular will need to be safe in, as you obviously can't be seen in public, Sirius. We can't risk something happening to you."

"So you're asking me to choose my own prison?" Sirius sighed. "I've barely been free, Albus, I don't want to be locked up again!"

"We're protecting you until we can clear your name, Sirius," Matty whispered. "I'll be with you, if that makes it better."

Sirius softened, thinking of being in some house with an unfamiliar layout, but he could picture the bedroom clearly that they would share, the bed that he would hold her in every night, make love to her...

"And if it's a secure enough place," Albus said, "which I think I've thought of, your daughters can be with you as well, when they're not at school, of course."

"And you have a place in mind," Sirius said warily, even as his heart leapt at the thought of being able to be with his beautiful little girls.

"I suppose you've inherited your childhood home," Albus continued with a firm look in his light blue eyes. "If I remember correctly, it has all the protections that wizarding kind can afford a building, save one, and we can take care of that last one as soon as we get you moved in. We'll have to, in case the Ministry falls."

"You want me to raise my daughters in that terrible hovel?" Sirius hissed. "You're suggesting I make them suffer through Grimmauld Place? I don't even want to suffer through Grimmauld Place."

"Sirius," Matty said softly.

"You're just going lock me up in that disgusting place," Sirius continued, not listening to her, "force me to relive the worst memories of my childhood, and subject my daughters to that place that's bound to be filled with Dark Magic and dangerous artifacts? You've got to be mad, Albus! I'd rather be in Azkaban again!"

"Sirius, please!" Matty cried, wiping her eyes quickly. "Please don't say that. Please, we can make it better. The girls will think it's a lovely adventure, fixing up the house, and they just want to be with you. I just want to be with you! You have to admit, it's really our best option."

Sirius didn't want to admit it, but the sight of her crying, the truth of her words, cut through his stubbornness like a knife and all he wanted was to hold her, hold his girls, anywhere in the world it might be possible to do so safely.

He nodded.

"All right, Albus, you win," Sirius sighed. "Grimmauld Place it is. We can move in in the morning, start making it hospitable. Merlin only knows what it's been like in that forsaken place since my darling mother finally died."

"I think that will work out fine," Albus said with a nod. "I shall come by with someone from the old group to perform the final protection around noon tomorrow. Will that give you time to get settled in?"

Sirius checked the clock.

"I guess if we go to bed right now," he said with a shrug. "Sure."

"Albus," Matty said softly, "it's a Fidelius Charm, isn't it?"

Albus nodded and said, "Yes, it is."

"The last time we did a Fidelius Charm, my best friends died and Sirius was taken to Azkaban," she said harshly. "How can we put our faith in it?"

"Because, my dear," Albus said solemnly, "this time I will be the Secret-Keeper, so that the same dilemma cannot happen twice."

After a moment of struggling with herself silently over the use of the Fidelius Charm, Matty nodded and they were all agreed: Grimmauld Place was the new home to the Order of the Phoenix.


	16. The Waiting

The following morning Sirius smiled, realizing that he was waking up with his arms around Matty again, his favorite way to wake up.

But the smile quickly melted off his face as he realized that they were together because Voldemort had returned, because Harry had been traumatized and almost killed once more, because they and their girls were in twice their usual danger, because he was going to have hide out in the home of his childhood, the address he'd left at sixteen and sworn never to return to.

Suddenly he didn't want to be awake anymore, arms around Matty or not.

Too late to go back to sleep, though, he realized as her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him, before her own smile melted and she looked up at him with scared eyes.

"I suppose we ought to go," she whispered. "You know, so that we can clean a bit before Albus gets there."

It was the last thing Sirius wanted to do, but it was about time he started doing what he needed to do for his family rather than what he wanted to do. He nodded, kissing her nose lightly before turning over, climbing out of bed.

He pulled on the clothes Remus had found for him, thread-bare clothes that needed badly to be replaced, but were better than the rags Sirius had been wearing while on the run. Matty looked at him sadly, and Sirius knew that the outfit symbolized the struggles of both of the men in her life, her lover and her best friend.

But they weren't dead, he reminded himself as he did up the buttons on the shirt. They weren't dead yet and he was going to make sure that he stayed alive for Matty, stayed alive to love her and help her raise the girls.

She changed into a set of clothes, because apparently she kept some things at Remus's, for when he needed someone to look after him when he was recovering from his transformation, she explained, and as she didn't blush even a little bit, Sirius decided that he believed her and they Disapparated together to Grimmauld Place in London.

Sirius quickly opened the door, leading Matty inside the house he hoped he'd never have to bring her to. She looked around the stuffy hall as they walked through looking for signs of life (for Sirius didn't really know whether Kreacher was dead or not), crinkling her nose with disgust at this and that as they went.

"He's probably in his nest, wherever he's keeping it now," Sirius spat, pressing his finger to his lips as Matty opened her mouth to say something. "Be quiet, darling. My mother has a portrait somewhere and she's bound to be vicious to the both of us. Best not wake her or alert her to our presence until we know how we're going to deal with her."

Matty winced visibly.

Walburga Black had despised Matty Clondon wholeheartedly and had even tried to find legal reasons to keep them apart. They'd all fallen apart, of course, especially when Sirius said that he didn't have any intention to be getting married so soon out of school and pointed out the fact that Matty's blood was just as pure as his. That had infuriated his mother deeply, but she didn't speak another word to him in her life, so Sirius could call it a win-win situation.

He wished he'd married Matty anyway, but he'd been young and foolish and thought there would be plenty of time for all that when they'd won the war. He could never have foreseen what had actually happened.

A sharp rapping on the front door drew Sirius's attention out of his bittersweet recollections and he rushed to let in Albus, who smiled at them brightly.

"I trust your morning was agreeable?" he said in a soft voice, seeming to know instinctively that there were things in the house that Sirius would rather not wake. "I had to speak with the Diggory's this morning. That's never an easy conversation."

Sirius wondered how many times Dumbledore had had to talk with the parents of a dead student about their child's death, since he knew of twice in his own lifetime, but Sirius just nodded and led Albus down into the kitchen where he'd left Matty.

She perked up noticeably when Sirius and Dumbledore walked down the stairs and stood to greet them.

"Albus," she said breathlessly. "How are Harry and the girls?"

"They're as fine as can be expected, knowing what they know," Albus said gently. "The girls know they're going somewhere secure to be with their father when the school year is over. Harry is to be kept without knowledge for now. I don't want him under more stress or put in greater danger until he needs to know things."

"I don't like this, Albus," Matty whispered. "I don't like having to hide things from Harry."

"Nor do I," Albus said with a conceding nod. "But it is necessary, Matea, and I know you understand the importance of doing what is necessary rather than what is the most comfortable option."

Sirius fought the urge to strike Albus for bringing up the painful months of her pregnancy, of what she had suffered when Sirius was taken away, before Bellatrix was thrown in Azkaban. Narcissa had probably even been personally responsible for much of the pain in her life after Bellatrix was gone and Matty was able to come out of hiding, but Sirius didn't have time to think of that. Matty just winced and nodded.

"Yes, I know," she sighed. "But I don't have to like it."

"No, you certainly don't," Albus agreed. "I have a request to make of you as well, Matea, which will be equally necessary and equally uncomfortable."

Matty nodded, letting him know that she was ready to hear it.

"I must ask that you let Remus retrieve your daughters from King's Cross and bring them here to meet you," Albus said softly.

Her face filled with pain and Sirius felt angry that it was even suggested.

"Why?" he snapped at Dumbledore, feeling full of suspicion.

"Because your cousin has been rather active of late," Albus said with a sigh. "Narcissa Malfoy has claimed to have seen the two of you together somewhere in the south of England. Matea's not exactly wanted. The Ministry knows that Matea was at Hogwarts during the period in question, but Narcissa Malfoy has quite a lot of power in the Ministry right now, and your daughters don't need the added stress of the world being reminded of their parentage at the moment."

Matty tensed, but she nodded.

"I understand, Albus," she whispered. "I'll be waiting here for them, then."

"Who's coming to do the Charm, then?" Sirius said firmly, pushing aside his anger at the situations Albus was essentially forcing them to accept. "You said you'd bring another."

"Yes," Albus said with a nod. "I typically would have wanted Alastor, but as he's not quite well enough for the exertion it would require to leave the infirmary, I've had to ask Remus meet us here. He's never been here before, has he?"

"No, and for good reason," Sirius intoned gloomily. "I suppose he'll be able to find it, though. He's resourceful."

Sure enough, not even a moment later there was a sound of the doorbell ringing followed by shrieks that Sirius instantly recognized as his mother.

"Found her," he growled, heading upstairs to let in Remus and follow the sound of that horrific harpy's voice.

"Are you sure you're not part-banshee?" Matty said with a half-smirk, recalling his mother as well as Sirius himself was at that moment, he was sure.

"I wish I were," he snorted. "It would have made my life so much more understandable."

Matty went to the door and greeted Remus as Albus and Sirius exerted their efforts on the shrieking portrait of Sirius's mother to try to get her to be quiet. They finally discovered that if they were able to wrench closed the curtains that had been covering the portrait, she would be silenced once more, so they pulled them closed for the time being, and Sirius sincerely hoped that he'd be able to find a way to get rid of the monstrosity altogether.

"Sirius," Remus's tired voice said from the door, which had been closed behind him. "I take it that's your infamous mother."

Sirius grunted his acknowledgement of Remus's mention of the portrait and led them down to the kitchen so that they could get the stupid Fidelius Charm over with and he and Matty could get to picking a room, cleaning the room, and then having sex all over the room. That was the only way he was going to be motivated enough to actually combat the terrible house and its overgrowth of evil.

Albus settled down in one of the kitchen chairs, smiling up at them.

"Very well," he said softly. "Shall we begin?"

Sirius paced as they did the intricate magic necessary for the charm, which Matty watched with wide-eyed interest. Sirius couldn't watch. He hated the charm, and even though he knew Matty did too, he certainly couldn't bring himself to even summon the curiosity to watch as she could. But he had spent twelve years in hell because of that charm, because of his own pride, thinking he could outwit Voldemort, out-do the charm... He thought it would protect Matty if he didn't know, that he could send her to stay with Remus if they got word that someone was coming after him. He didn't really know what he was thinking. It had made more sense at the time.

All that made sense anymore was that he was still alive, Matty was still alive, his daughters were okay, and Harry was okay, and Lily and James had been gone for a long, long time. Peter was out there somewhere crawling on his belly for the mercy of the Death Eaters and Voldemort, and he was responsible for so much Death, so much loss.

And Albus just smiled at Remus as the enchantment took effect and Albus spoke aloud that the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix were located at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.

Remus would be able to find them again. Matty wouldn't be leaving, nor would Sirius, so it didn't matter that they'd heard, but Remus would need to be able to find his way back, to bring their daughters to them, so it was essential that he knew where to find them. Sirius knew that he would have a note from Albus for the girls to read so that they, too, could find the building that held their parents, that place that couldn't really be called a home, but would have to be, for a time.

Sirius saw them out and then went back to the kitchen to find Matty sitting there with trembling hands, obviously fighting back tears. He struggled over whether or not to ask what was wrong, knowing that it could be any number of things, and she might need time alone or a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen to her fears depending on what exactly had her that way. But she also might need to be left alone, and how could he know that one if he didn't ask in the first place?

"It feels like it's starting all over again," she finally sobbed as he sat down beside her. "Like before. It's going to be just like before, isn't it?"

Sirius shivered, putting his arms around her and holding her tightly to his chest as she continued to cry.

"No," he said firmly. "It's not going to be like before. It will be similar, I guess. It's really the same war. But I'm not going anywhere, Matty. I'm not leaving you this time, darling. I swear."

He thought he heard her whisper something that didn't sound too confident in his promise, but he didn't want to start a fight. They'd done too much fighting.

The following day, Albus came by to tell them that Harry was out of the hospital wing and the girls were fine. It was a brief encounter, but Sirius went about pacing through the house, trying to prepare every little detail for his beautiful girls for when they arrived.

"Sirius, calm down," Matty moaned late that night, pulling off her dress slowly, trying to attract his attention as he paced, trying to think of what he would have to straighten out the following morning.

"I can't," he sighed. "They're coming here. They're coming here, Matty, to my childhood home that even I don't want to be associated with."

"Sirius," she sighed, crawling onto their bed and spreading herself out suggestively, "it's not like they're coming tonight. We've got plenty of time to get this place livable before they arrive."

"No," Sirius moaned, still not really looking at her as he paced, realizing that there was so much more to do. "No, Matty, there's not enough time!"

"Sirius," she said in a low voice, "look at me."

"Matty..."

"Look at me."

Sirius turned and was greeted with the sight of Matty stretched out on their bed in nothing but her skin. Before he realized what he was doing, he was licking his lip slightly and moaning as she beckoned him toward her.

Matty had spent their time together cleaning the house, making Sirius more like his 'presentable' old self, and seducing him, none of which he took objection to, but the last was his favorite, and it was the only way to really work him out of his rants, so when his fingers touched her skin and his lips found her lips, he decided it was worth forgetting about his anxiety for just a few hours.

A few hours ended up taking up the rest of the night, and when Matty finally fell asleep in his arms, Sirius ran his fingers gently through her silky blonde hair, feeling a bit sad. She was working so hard, staying so calm and collected for him because she knew he was on the edge of breaking. But he knew she was falling apart, too. How were they supposed to take care of their daughters in this state? They needed someone to take care of them.

Well, he supposed that was what Remus was for.

Remus was welcome in their lives as long as he didn't try to steal Matty, which seemed to be the case at that point in time. He had a way with the girls, and he understood the pain Matty and Sirius were going through. He'd always been good with them as well, with propping them up when they were at their worst and helping them through things. From the sound of things, Remus had been caring for Matty ever since Sirius was taken to prison. Why shouldn't he continue as he had been, with the both of them?

Not quite a week later Matty was sitting beside Sirius on their bed after making love, her head resting on his bare chest, his arm wrapped loosely around her familiar torso as they stared off at the wall in silence. Finally, she whispered, "They're having the feast tonight."

"Yeah."

"I suppose Albus will talk about Diggory's death."

"Yeah."

"Do you think he'll mention Voldemort's rise?"

"Probably."

"Harry's probably a mess."

"Yeah."

There was another long silence as Sirius reached his hand up to stroke her hair as he liked to do, Matty snuggling just a little but closer to his chest. Then she said, "The girls are coming tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"I'm excited to spend time with them."

"Me too."

"We probably should have gotten more sleep last night..."

"Probably."

"We'll have to go to bed sooner tonight. You'll wake up early tomorrow. You always do when you're excited about something."

"Yeah. I guess."

They were silent some more, staring at the wall and sighing, Sirius kissing her forehead gently and trying to imagine what the girls would look like, what they would be wearing, what stories they would have to share with their parents when they arrived in Grimmauld Place.

"Do you think they'll like me?"

"They'll love you, Sirius. They already do, you know."

"Yes, but they don't really know me. This is going to be their first time really around me. What if they don't like me?"

"Sirius, you're a fun-parent by nature. I'm going to fall in the ranking once they spend a bit of time with you. Which I'm going to allow you, of course. After what you went through for twelve years, you deserve to have your daughters adore you unconditionally. Like I adore you."

Sirius snorted. She didn't adore him unconditionally. She adored him except when he was doing something that made her upset and then she was a vengeful bitch. It never lasted long, but it was always long enough to hurt. There had been times he'd thought that loving her wasn't worth the trouble, but then she'd start kissing his neck like she'd just started doing, and he would wonder how he could have ever really lived without her, even for a day.

"I love you," he moaned as her mouth explored the familiar skin of his neck. "I love you so much, darling."

She didn't say any words in response. They didn't always need to say it back, because they knew that they both loved each other more than anything else.

"Tomorrow," she whispered. "They'll be here tomorrow. What are we going to wear?"

And then Sirius laughed a laugh he hadn't laughed in years, thinking back to their youth, to Matty squealing about what she would wear when he took her to Hogsmeade, what she would pack when she stayed with him and James at the Potter's over Christmas their sixth year, what they would wear to Lily and James's wedding.

Nothing had really changed, even though everything in the world had changed. They were right back where they were, older and with different company, but was that really any different? Sirius hoped that the only difference was that everything would be better this time around.


	17. Prelude

He knew that they wouldn't be arriving until late afternoon, but Sirius woke up early anyway, just as Matty had predicted he would, just as he always did. He paced the floor for a while, thinking over how he wanted the moment of their arrival to look, then shuffled through his father's old clothes for something that was half-decent and fit him all right because Remus hadn't had time to buy Sirius more clothes yet, what with all the things Albus was having him do to get the Order on track.

"Bloody pretentious robes," Sirius groaned, going through his father's old wardrobe. "Why couldn't he own anything _normal_?"

He pulled on the most normal thing he could find and sighed, sorting out his hair as he made his way down to the kitchen to make breakfast for Matty, who he hoped was still sleeping peacefully in their bed.

The pantry would have to be restocked, he realized, making a mental note to make a shopping list with Remus so they could feed the girls properly. He had enough to make eggs and toast, anyway, and that would be all right for the two of them.

He'd just finished frying the eggs when Matty stumbled sleepily into the kitchen, dropping into a chair with a yawn.

"All right there, love?" Sirius laughed, putting a plate in front of her and flipping an egg and some toast onto it. "You look like you're barely awake."

"I feel barely awake," she muttered, picking up a fork and stabbing at the gooey yoke liked she'd always loved doing, picking up the toast and using her fork to smear the yoke over the bread. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough," he sighed, pouring them both some tea and sitting down beside her, because across from her was too far away. "You'll have to get dressed before they get here, Matty. As much as I like the look of you in practically nothing, Remus definitely isn't allowed to look at you dressed so scandalously."

Matty snorted.

"Sirius, they're not going to be here for hours! Just eat your breakfast and relax. Read a book or something. I'll dress when I feel like it."

Sirius pouted, but he too most of her advice. By lunchtime he was too anxious to eat, and Matty made herself an egg salad sandwich with their limited supplies, commented on their limited supplies, and watched Sirius pace.

When she finally dressed, they went to sit in the entryway, waiting for Remus to bring the girls to them, curled up against each other and clutching their hands together so tightly that Sirius was actually hurting Matty's hand, but thankfully she didn't complain.

"They're actually coming," Sirius whispered to no one in particular. "Our daughters are actually coming here, to live with us."

"For the summer," Matty reminded gently, but Sirius wasn't really listening to her. He was just trying to wrap his brain around the idea of them being with him, of being almost like a real family.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, and the pair jumped to their feet, exchanging excited grins, Sirius reaching out and opening the door with a shaking hand.

There Remus stood, smiling, a hand on the upper back of each twin, Merryn in her purple blouse and blue jeans, Maëlle with her tea-length green dress, each grinning almost as broadly as their parents.

"Mummy!" they squealed excitedly, rushing at their parents for a massive group hug. "Daddy!"

Sirius ignored the tears that filled his eyes as he wrapped his little girls in a massive hug, Matty sandwiching them between their two parents.

"Hello, my beautiful girls," Sirius sighed, leaking tears into Merryn's hair.

Sirius and Matty and Remus made up a quick shopping list and Remus took off right away to get food so that they could make dinner for the girls, and the twins bounced around, being as quiet as their father had asked them to be, but eagerly begging for a tour of the house they found so terribly interesting. Matty took them on a tour and Sirius followed, knowing she would only take them into the rooms they'd agreed on, including the room next to their parents that had been cleaned out for their use.

He couldn't help but feel proud of himself as Merryn dragged him along after her by the hand, or the way Maëlle shyly kissed him on the cheek in thanks when she and Merryn were introduced to their new, temporary bedroom.

"We're going to have to ask you to help us clean up this place, too," Matty said as the girls bounced on the bed they would share. "Not this room specifically, but the house. It's going to be our summer project, our little bit of the war effort."

"So it would help with the war?" Maëlle said eagerly. "It sounds like fun!"

"Not really," Merryn snorted, cuddling against Sirius, who had sat down on the edge of the bed. "But if Daddy does it and it helps the war, I can't say it's bad. I'll do it."

Of course, Sirius could have pointed out that she would have done it whether she wanted to or not, but he was just so happy that she was there, in his arms, that he didn't say any such thing. He was half-afraid that she would disappear if he contradicted her at all.

They stayed in the girls' room for a while, waiting for Remus to get back from shopping, Sirius hugging his daughters while Matty sat on the end of the bed they were laying on, telling the tamer stories from the Marauder days. They were just getting to the story of turning Matty's hair purple when Matty sat up a bit straighter, frowning.

"Love, did you hear that?" she muttered.

Sirius frowned, ignoring the girls giggling.

"Did you hear that, Elle? She called him _'love'_!"

"Shh, just a minute," he said, patting Merryn's head and listening carefully. Sure enough, he heard the steady footsteps of Remus in the entryway below. "Remus. Come on, girls. We're going to make dinner."

The family (Sirius loved thinking of them that way) made their way down to the kitchen, where Remus popped his head out of the pantry and smiled.

"I've got at least a week's worth of food here, if the girls don't over-eat. And I've got good news!"

"What is it?" Matty asked, grabbing a packet of sausages from the table and fishing around for a fry pan.

"We're going to be joined by an army of Weasleys for the summer," Remus said brightly. "It's easier for them to stay here than to travel back and forth from the Burrow all the time, and the children can help with the cleaning. It's safer for them, too."

"Will the twins be coming?" Maëlle asked excitedly.

"Yes, they will," Remus said with a smile. "And it sounds like Hermione Granger will be coming along as well, and eventually Harry, when Dumbledore says it's safe."

While Sirius wasn't thrilled that they'd have to wait for Harry, he couldn't help but smile at the smiles on his daughter's face, on the thought that the house would be full of people and activity. It wouldn't be like the tomb of his childhood.

"Now," Remus said jovially, "who wants to help us make dinner?"

The five of them were like their own sort of family, Sirius decided, mother and father and uncle and children, all doing their part to make dinner, set the table, and then eating dinner, swapping stories: a tale of the Marauders' childhood for a tale of the twins' explorations of Hogwarts. The girls seemed thrilled that they'd been the product of pranksters, and Remus said it was only fitting.

"And here I was thinking for years that your children were going to drive you two up the wall," Remus teased to Matty and Sirius. "Now that you're all together, I see that instead the four of you all encourage each other! I suppose I should have known better. James would have told me I was being silly, unrealistic."

The thing that Sirius hadn't been able to figure out was how Harry, although certainly not adverse to breaking rules, hadn't become a prankster. James was just as much a prankster as Sirius had been, after all.

Remus shrugged.

"Could be Lily's compassionate streak," he argued, "or it could be the fact that he made friends with Hermione Granger rather early, and she could put fear of needlessly broken rules in just about everyone but the Weasley twins."

Sirius didn't think the girl had been so scary, but then, he wasn't a young boy anymore. And had he been a young boy, he thought he would have been able to charm his way around her cool attitude.

On the other hand, he'd never been charming enough to win through Lily's proclivity for rules, even after James and Lily finally got together.

When dinner was gone and Remus had cleaned up, giving Sirius and Matty more time with the girls, it was clear that the twins were exhausted from the excitement of the day. At Matty's hinting, Sirius wrapped both girls up in his arms and all but carried them upstairs to their room as their feet could barely support them so far.

For the first time in his life, he was able to tuck his daughters into bed, brushing their perfect blonde hair out of their faces, and watching them as they muttered their "I love you, Mummy and Daddy" and fell promptly asleep.

Sirius continued to pet their hair and watch them sleep as Matty rested her head on his chest and whispered, "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

He nodded, unable to think of a better word to describe his wonderful little girls.

Except they weren't little anymore. He'd missed most of that. They were going into their third year of Hogwarts. They were teenagers, and he remembered all the things he'd done in his third year, the way he'd chased all the skirts, but the way he'd lusted after Matty in particular. Who would be lusting after his little girls?

After a while, Matty dragged Sirius back to their own room, settling them on the bed where he rested his head in her lap as she caressed his head gently.

"They've grown so big," he whispered. "They're practically women."

"Not quiet," Matty said, amusement clearer than day in her voice. "They're still just girls at heart, love."

"They were awfully excited to see those Weasley boys," he grumbled.

"They're good friends," Matty said, and he could almost picture her shrug as he closed his eyes to better enjoy the feel of her fingers through his hair.

"Our daughters have breasts, Matty. I was a teenage boy once. You know I'm not going to fall for that."

She giggled, her fingertips moving from his hair to the sides of his face, meeting at the tip of his chin and coming up to trace his lips. Sirius shivered, taking her fingers into his mouth and sucking on them gently. But he would not be distracted.

Sirius sat up and frowned at her.

"Matty, they take after you," he sighed, "and that means that they'll be practically full grown by Christmas. Our little girls are going to be the object of some teenager's lust and I don't know how I'm going to cope with that."

She laughed at him until he was able to laugh about it as well and they cuddled together in the bed, his arms around Matty and her head on his chest.

"This is going to be a bigger adjustment than I thought," he admitted with a sigh. "But I love them so much, Matty."

"And that's all you need right now," she assured him. "It'll come when it comes. You love them and they love you and I love you all. Everything's going to be all right."

And he believed it as they fell asleep.

When the Weasleys arrived and meetings started up, the peaceful sort of family dynamic the five of them had had that first day dissipated into the chaos of people being everywhere. The girls found some sort of strange delight with the thought that the shrieking portrait everyone was so annoyed with was their grandmother, which Matty thought was absurdly funny. They were also fascinated with Kreacher, and spent hours dreaming up fascinatingly sad stories about how he had gotten so crazy and unpleasant, despite Sirius assuring them that he'd really been that way for as long as anyone could recall.

The girls passed much of their time with Ginny Weasley, or Fred and George, who Sirius found that in spite of his best effort, he liked very much. He wanted them to be terrible, to be vultures to protect his darling girls from, but they reminded him so much of Gideon Prewett (and admittedly, Fabian) that he liked them for nostalgia's sake alone. They also seemed to be first-rate pranksters and didn't look at his little girls in any terribly lascivious way at all. In fact, the four of them were so platonic that he almost wondered what was wrong with the boys that they didn't find his daughters attractive.

Still, as Matty had pointed out, the boys were seventeen, nearly eighteen. His daughters were children by comparison, even if Sirius thought of them as young women.

"I was chased by the thirteen- and fourteen-year-old boys, Sirius, not the seventh years," she reminded him. "I might have had a figure, but I was quite immature."

She was right, of course, and Sirius wasn't sure whether to feel insulted on behalf of his girls, or relieved as their overprotective father.

He eventually decided on relieved.

The Order members and teenagers in regular contact with Harry were allowed to continue it, Dumbledore told them, but they were not allowed to talk about the Order, Grimmauld Place, or anything to do with the fight against Voldemort. It was for Harry's protection, Dumbledore said, and while Sirius wasn't a fan of the idea, Matty was able to talk him into following the rules. What if something were to happen to Harry because Sirius told him too much and he did something impulsive, like James used to do?

"James was fine," Sirius said dismissively. "His impulsivity was never an issue."

Matty sighed.

"Love, his impulsivity, and yours, was rarely an issue because you always had each other to save you from yourselves. You spent most of your lives together, Sirius. Harry has nobody to save him from himself, much less from an outside attack."

"The Order has people watching him," Sirius said indignantly, but Matty didn't even have to say a word.

Arabella Figg and Mundungus Fletcher weren't exactly the sort of people that a parent would entrust the life of their child to.

Oh, Arabella was a fine enough woman. Tough. Spirited. Incredibly serious about her job. But she was a squib.

Dung, on the other hand, was not exactly the sort of pillar of moral and magical strength that a person wanted looking after a minor who might actually be in very real danger. While Sirius appreciated having Dung around, generally (although not particularly around his daughters, as he was the only male other than Sirius who had seemed to notice that they had breasts), he wasn't particularly fond of putting anyone's life or safety in Dung's hands. He was at a bit of a loss as to why Dung was even in the Order, but Dumbledore had his reasons. He always did.

"What would you say if it were the girls being protected by Dung?" Sirius demanded as Matty folded the laundry Molly had done before lunch.

"It's not always Dung," Matty pointed out. "Sometimes it's Remus. Sometimes it's Dedalus."

"Dedalus isn't much better," Sirius grumbled, although he couldn't say much about Remus. He was one of the few Order members Sirius would have wanted by his side in a fight, if he'd been allowed to get into a fight.

"And Tonks has started watching, too," Matty reminded him.

Sirius winced.

Nymphadora Tonks was his cousin's daughter, and a lovely girl really, who preferred to be referred to by her surname, because apparently Andromeda hadn't learned from her mother's mistakes and given her child a normal name. She was a Metamorphagus and loved changing her hair bright colors. The girls got on with her very well, and the liked to sit with her and Ginny Weasley and the three girls would request their favorite noses and Tonks would, literally, make faces for them.

She was also the world's biggest klutz, and while she was an Auror, Sirius wasn't entirely certain that he would trust his life in her hands. Mad-Eye Moody vouched for her, which was a rare thing of him to do, but Sirius still thought he'd wait on trusting his daughters' safety with her until he had Remus's stamp of approval. Remus didn't give out his stamp of approval lightly, although probably more lightly than Mad-Eye. But Remus was nearly as concerned with the safety of the twins as Sirius and Matty were, so his focus would be a bit different.

Little did Sirius know an opportunity to test how good she was in action would soon present itself, although for precisely the reasons Sirius was already testy about the poor quality of several Order members: Harry was in trouble.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Matty said sharply to Remus, who had the letters from Arthur and Albus.

"Patronus Charm," Remus said with a shrug. "I guess there were dementors. I can't picture Harry doing that for nothing. He's not the kind to show off. Apparently they're expelling him."

"_What?_" Sirius cried "They can't do that!"

"Actually, they can," Remus said slowly, looking over Albus's letter. "Ah, Albus is getting him a hearing. That's good. You should probably write to him, Sirius, tell him to stay put and not do anything rash."

Matty snorted at the irony, which Sirius could scarcely appreciate as he scribbled a quick note to Harry, his anger at Mundungus and the Ministry building exponentially with every word he wrote.


	18. Day of Reckoning

Sirius paced the kitchen. The meeting would be happening soon, and he still had to go and kiss the girls goodnight, but he couldn't stop thinking about what was going to become of Harry.

"Sirius, the girls are waiting up for you," Matty said in a tired voice. He nodded, walking toward the stairs without even looking up at her, but she grabbed his arm as he was heading past her, causing him to look up with surprise. She looked a bit hurt and he frowned.

"What?" he asked.

"No kiss?" she said sadly.

Guilt seeped through him at forgetting such a basic and yet important thing, leaning forward to kiss her lips.

"Remus and I got Buckbeak settled in, too," she said. "He's in your mother's room."

"How fitting," Sirius replied wryly, kissing her lips one more quick time for good measure. "I'll be down soon, love. Can you make tea?"

She nodded and moved over to the kettle as he hurried upstairs to Merryn and Maëlle's room.

They were, truly, sitting up, waiting for him to come in and kiss them goodnight.

"Daddy," Merryn said sweetly (which was the only word she ever said sweetly unless she wanted something). "We thought you'd forgotten."

"Oh, never, my sweet girls," Sirius gushed, hopping onto the bed between them and sitting on his knees smiling down at their sleepy faces. "I could never forget anything to do with you! I was just thinking of something..."

"Harry?" Maëlle whispered.

"Yes, Elle," Sirius sighed, frowning slightly. "I'm worried about Harry."

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yes," Sirius said firmly, almost to reassure himself as much as his girls. "He's going to be with us very soon. Now," he muttered, leaning forward to kiss each of their foreheads gently, "sleep well, sweet dreams, and I'll see you both in the morning, all right?"

"Good night, Daddy," the chorused, each kissing one of his cheeks and then snuggling against their pillows, smiling sleepily at him as he removed himself from their bed reluctantly, blew them a kiss as both pairs of eyes closed, and retreated from the room softly, closing the door behind him and kissing the door gently, wishing them the sweetest dreams possible.

Then, with a heavy sigh, Sirius went back downstairs where Remus, Matty, Molly, Arthur, Bill, and Tonks had already gathered, waiting for the rest of the Order.

"How are the girls?" Remus asked, pushing a hot cup of tea in front of Sirius.

"Tired," he said with a tight smile. "And I think they're altogether too excited about living in this house."

"Well, Merlin knows Fred and George and Ginny wear them out a fair amount as well," Bill said good-naturedly. "They seem to get on quite well."

"Yes, they do," Matty agreed with a smile. "It's nice that they've got people to spend time with, even if they are all cooped up here in the house."

Nobody said a word about Harry yet, and it was painfully obvious to everyone, but that could wait until the meeting started.

And it started soon enough. All of the members filed in, including Mundugus, who Sirius thought had a lot of gall to be showing up at Headquarters with how he'd abandoned Harry's safety for stolen goods.

"As you all know, Harry needs to be removed from Privet Drive," Albus Dumbledore said softly, the room falling silent. "Knowing the irrationality of his aunt and uncle where magic is concerned, sooner would be far better than later."

"Aye," Mad-Eye growled. "We'll need a taskforce to be retrieving him, and some plans on how to get his relatives to leave him home alone."

They all looked around at each other, trying to think of something that would make the Dursleys leave Harry home by himself, even with their great fear of magic.

"Well, everybody's got their tics, right?" Matty said softly. "If it was something for my girls or about my girls, I'd drop everything and leave this building in a heartbeat, my own safety be damned. I'm not suggesting we threaten the cousin in any way, or make them think it, but there's got to be some reason that would make them think it would be worth leaving the house, some tic they've got."

After another moment or two of silence, McGonagall spoke.

"She's right," she said. "I observed these Muggles for a full day when Harry was taken to live with them, waiting for him to be brought there. They're very particular people indeed. They keep everything just-so and care quite a lot about what their neighbors think of them. The state of their yard, for one thing, seems to be of incredible importance to Petunia Dursley."

"They have contests," Tonks piped up excitedly. "There are these silly contests that my mum loves to make fun of. Best-Kept Suburban Lawn contests and stuff like that. I think if we made up an invitation to an award ceremony for something on those lines, the Dursleys would be so puffed up with pride that they'd leave Harry without more than a thought."

"I agree," Albus said thoughtfully. "You would make this, Nymphadora?"

"Of course," Tonks said brightly. "Just give me when you want them out of there, and it will be done up in no time."

"Friday," Mad-Eye growled. "We want to pick him up Friday evening."

"I'll have it out in the mail first thing in the morning," she assured them.

Then it was a matter of picking a host to pick him up, which Sirius made sure that Matty was left out of, despite her wish to be a part of it.

"Remus is going," Sirius pointed out. "That's a familiar face and someone Harry trusts. Everything's going to be fine, love."

He felt like a liar for saying those words in the context of war, but it calmed her down a bit.

"Very well," Dumbledore said firmly. "Severus will also be by that evening with a report on the Death Eaters. Please be prepared to meet him as I won't be able to attend."

Sirius spent the days between the meeting and Harry's liberation with his daughters, Ginny, and the twins, primarily, cleaning parts of the house with less-than-vigorous methodology and swapping tales of mischief whenever Matty wasn't in the room.

Ginny had, the day before Harry was to come to them, called Matty "Mrs. Black", which had caused the entire dinner table to grow quiet in that moment, Ginny blushing at her mistake and Matty flushing with embarrassment at her own situation.

Sirius frowned as she excused herself from the table.

"Should I-?" he asked cautiously, not entirely sure what part of Ginny's statement had upset her.

"No," Maëlle said firmly, smoothing her skirt as she stood. "Let me."

He watched his daughter hurry off after her mother and felt guilty that she had to be the one to handle such an awkward situation. They'd grown up so fast in some ways, because they'd had to, because he hadn't been there when he should have been.

"You ought to marry her, you know," Molly said softly.

"He can't right now," Remus reminded her gently. "Not until his name is cleared."

"I can't do anything until my name's cleared," Sirius said sadly, looking down at his plate, running his hands through his hair in frustration as his elbows rested on the table.

Merryn scooted closer to her father, resting her hand on his arm tentatively.

Sirius forced a smile and covered her hand with his, trying to reassure her, but he could see it in her eyes. She wasn't a child anymore. He'd missed those years, and now his daughters were lovely, understanding, strong young women just like their mother, but without the years of loss and pain.

"It's going to be okay, Daddy," she whispered. "Everything's going to be okay."

It wasn't a lie, not from her lips, but it wasn't true. She might have believed it to be true, and Sirius thought she probably did, but he knew better than all that. He knew well enough to know that things would never be as they should have been, no matter how things did end up turning out. He would never get those twelve years back. He would never get to raise his daughters. Even if he did marry Matty, he couldn't give her any more children.

He couldn't bring back Caradoc.

Matty and Maëlle were back minutes later and dinner went on as it had before Ginny had made her honest mistake. At least the Weasley girl had the good sense not to make things worse by apologizing, and instead she asked her brother for the potatoes with a nervous voice, extra careful not to put her foot in it again.

After dinner, Sirius found Matty sitting at the foot of their bed, staring at the wall. He sat down beside her, watching her pretty, pale, thoughtful face.

"Are you upset that we can't get married?" she whispered.

"Right now?" he clarified. "Not particularly. I mean, I wish we could, but what use is there getting upset about it? It won't change anything." He took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "What upsets me is seeing you sad, watching you get upset over something like that, something that is out of our control. I love you, Matty, and I know it's not what you deserve, but it has to be good enough for now, until Dumbledore can sort things out. Is that all right? Can you be okay with that?"

She nodded sadly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Sirius wrapped his arm around her body, picturing the sort of wedding they might have had if he would have just done as Lily kept pestering him to do and married her when they were out of school, maybe even done that double wedding James had joked about to give Lily fits. Matty wouldn't have liked a double wedding either, so Sirius would have said no to that, but they might have had them around the same time and then gone on their honeymoons when both were over, not together, but at the same time, so Sirius and James didn't miss each other so much.

"I miss Lily and James," Matty whispered, as though reading his mind. "Lily would have known the perfect thing to say today at dinner. Elle tries, and she's quite good with people, but she doesn't understand, not really. She tries to but... well, she just wasn't there. And she's still so young."

"She won't be young forever," Sirius said remorsefully. "And she'll understand quite well before too long, I think. It may not have really gotten started yet, but this is a war again, Matty. They know that. Everyone in this building knows that."

She nodded, cuddling tighter into his chest, and Sirius sighed. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to think about it. He didn't much want to think about it, either, but someone had set dementors on his godson and Sirius couldn't afford the luxury of closing his eyes and hoping. Harry, the girls... The stakes were so much higher this time around than just his own life. Matty seemed to realize this, too, from how anxious she was. Sirius petted her hair, kissed her forehead, and said, "C'mon, love. We need to get some rest. Tomorrow's the big day."

They stripped down and put on sleep clothes, which they had a habit of doing on nights when they didn't make love in case one of the girls woke them up in the morning. Then Sirius crawled into bed after Matty, wrapped his arms around her once more as they curled up together beneath the duvet, his head atop the pillows, her head atop his chest. Sirius stroked her silky blonde hair until she fell fast asleep against him and then he kissed her hair, inhaled the delicious scent of her shampoo that he loved so much, and whispered into the night how much he loved her before he allowed his eyes to close and sleep to take him.

The morning brought a feeling of anxiety to Sirius's stomach. Would Harry be all right? Was his guard going to make it back safely? The twins had begun really taking to a few of the members of the Order, including Mad-Eye and Tonks and Kingsley, all of whom would be going with Remus and others to pick up Harry in Little Whinging. What if something happened to one of them?

It had been interesting to see the Order interacting with the Clondon twins (Black twins, Sirius thought to himself) and the Weasley children. And Hermione, of course, but she was different, more adult-like than several of the adults. Tonks, of course, was less than surprisingly enchanted by youngsters, practically being one herself. Kingsley had taken a liking to Maëlle and had been talking with her about politics, which she and Hermione Granger both found fascinating. Sirius wasn't sure whether to be proud or horrified at his daughter's proclivity for politics, but he was certainly proud of the interest Mad-Eye was taking in Merryn, sure that she would make a wonderful Auror.

"Got her father's spirit, that one," Mad-Eye had told Sirius gruffly over dinner one day. "And Remus tells me she's got your skill, too. She's going to be a very powerful, very formidable witch someday, with proper training. Bit impulsive, though; gets that from you, too. It's likely to kill one or both of you if you don't learn to ignore it. I've said as much for years."

Sirius recalled Mad-Eye's training in his own early days in the Order, the constant attempts to get Sirius to be less impulsive, to make him into a proper warrior. He didn't relish the idea of his daughter going through training even half similar.

The day went by slowly, and Matty had to calm Sirius after lunch when Mad-Eye got everyone together to go over the plan before they took off for Surrey.

"It's going to be fine," she assured him. "Harry's going to get here safely, nobody's going to get hurt, and everything's going to be fine."

It wasn't necessarily a lie, but Sirius hugged her tightly, hoping that it was the truth.

When the rescue mission took off, Sirius began pacing the kitchen frantically, trying not to watch Molly Weasley as she made preparations for dinner with Matty's help, tried not to notice the maps Bill was helping his father carry into the room for the meeting.

"Are the girls out of the way?" Sirius asked abruptly.

"They're doing something with the other twins," Matty said with a shrug. "I assume those four can keep each other occupied."

Molly pursed her lips.

"Yes, but keeping each other occupied doing what?" she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry I can't keep my sons from being such poor influences on your daughters."

"Honestly, Molly," Matty said with a laugh, "I think their father's a worse influence than all of your boys together."

Sirius sniffed indignantly, but Matty was probably right. Between stories of his youth and the well-known events of his adult life, he wasn't the type of father mothers would want their little girls to idolize, but he couldn't help but be glad that his daughters adored him.

Was that selfish?

Perhaps, Sirius thought, but he didn't have too much time for that as the Order members who weren't out getting Harry arrived and they all got settled for the meeting.

The one Order member Sirius wanted more than anything to kill with his bare hands was Snape.

The over-grown bat swept into Sirius's home as though he owned the place, like he knew things that made him more important than everyone else in the room.

The worst thing was the second bit was almost true. Snape was in the thick of the Death Eaters, constantly gathering information that was critical to the operations of the Order. It made him both dangerous should he prove to be false, which Sirius suspected he was, and essential if he wasn't false, which Dumbledore insisted he wasn't.

Matty seemed unsure of what to believe, and that frightened and angered Sirius all at once. For if he was right about Snape, than Matty could be in danger if she decided to believe Snape. And if he was wrong, than Matty could end up in danger for believing Sirius. And more than anything, he found himself more jealous of her approval than he had been since he'd first gotten out of Azkaban, perhaps more than even then.

But in that moment, what he believed and who she believed didn't matter so much. The information they'd gotten so far was good and they needed _something_ to plan on.

Sirius glared at Snape as he sat down across from Matty, and then Sirius put his hand on her thigh comfortingly, although she didn't seem upset or uncomfortable. Maybe it was more to comfort himself, he decided, glaring at Snape with all his might.

Typically, Remus was there to keep things civil, but as Remus was off picking up Harry Arthur Weasley was left to do the job, and he didn't really seem at all up to the task. He gave Sirius a look that was probably meant to be stern, but instead it just made Matty laugh.

"If the frivolity is over," Snape said, clearing his throat, "I believe we have some business to discuss. My time is limited, as you know."

"Yes, of course," Arthur said quickly.

They got down to talking about the news Snape had, which included information about the prophecy, as usual, and better discussion of how to keep it protected. Sirius zoned out after a while, focusing on the feel of Matty's hand between his legs, which she'd put there at some point when they'd started discussing the possibility of putting a guard on the prophecy.

Sooner or later she was going to have choices again, when he was declared free. And Sirius couldn't help but wonder if she'd still want him. And the thought made him feel sick.


	19. Harry Arrives

Matty jumped when the door opened a bit and Sirius looked up to find Harry's guard filing through the door, and other than Mad-Eye, they all seemed rather happy.

Which meant nobody had died, and nobody seemed to be hurt. Sirius smiled in spite of himself at Remus, who nodded at Matty and Sirius as he sat down beside Snape, across from Sirius.

Harry was fine. Harry was at Grimmauld Place. Everyone in the world Sirius loved was safe and with him.

Everything was going to be okay, at least for a little while, Sirius was sure of it.

The meeting dragged on after that as Kingsley and Mad-Eye were caught up on Severus's report and began doing the technical part of the Order that bored Sirius.

Matty began caressing his leg with her thumb again and Sirius began tapping his foot impatiently, anxious to see his godson, to hug his daughters for the thousandth time since they'd come to him at the start of summer.

But as he couldn't be a part of the action, Sirius had to pay attention to all the administrative details he hated, so he took Matty's hand in his and moved it on top of his lap, holding it there where it would be less of a distraction.

She smirked and he realized that had been her goal all along, to distract him. Sneaky little minx.

He could hardly wait for the meeting to end at that point, completely disregarding his attempts to pay attention and instead thinking of all the ways he was going to drive her mad when the meeting was over, of how he would make her moan his name...

"I think that should be well enough for now," Remus said suddenly, pulling Sirius out of his lustful daydreams. "We don't need to take up any more of Severus's time for this. And it's nearly dinnertime, isn't it, Molly?"

"Yes, I imagine the children are getting hungry," Molly said nervously, and just then Sirius heard his own stomach growl, which Matty smirked at, Snape sneered at, and Remus set off chuckling at, which of course, set the rest of the room off chuckling.

"I agree, Molly," Sirius said boldly to cover his smidgeon of embarrassment. "It's most definitely dinnertime."

"I especially think Harry's going to be hungry," Remus said seriously as they began clearing things away so Molly could start dinner and the children could come into the kitchen. "I don't think he's been eating very much since the dementor attack. They locked him in his room, you see."

"Yes, that tends to be a damper on eating," Matty said with a sigh. "It's disgusting to think how they treat him. I mean, she's Lily's sister."

"You knew Petunia," Sirius pointed out. "When did you ever say anything but negative things about her?"

Matty bit her lip, thinking, as she began heating some water for tea while Molly started on dinner.

"Well," she said slowly, "I think I might have said something nice about her pearl necklace once."

Remus snorted and Sirius exchanged a smirk with him, knowing the very incident to which she was referring.

Matty had complimented a pearl necklace Petunia Evans Dursley had been wearing while Matty was visiting Lily over Christmas holiday, and then said that it would have looked a lot better if it hadn't been around her disgustingly boney, ridiculously long neck.

Sirius knew Matty would never admit it, but she'd never said a nice thing about Harry's aunt, ever, and he didn't exactly blame her for it. From what he remembered of her she didn't warrant nice things being said about her.

There was a sound of something falling over, then Tonks's voice calling out apologies, and Sirius closed his eyes, irritated, as the shrieking of his mother filled the house.

Sirius, Remus, Matty, and Molly rushed upstairs to the entryway to shut up the portrait, ready to pull the curtains over her ugly face. Harry would hear it. Harry would know about his stupid, awful mother and her stupid, awful prejudices. It was bad enough when his girls had to hear it, but all three of them knowing where he came from made his stomach churn.

Molly and Remus got there, first, trying to get the curtains closed, but it was a struggle.

"_Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, be gone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers _—"

Tonks was apologizing and Sirius realized that she'd knocked over the troll's foot umbrella stand... again.

Why did they still have that awful thing? Who really needed an umbrella stand, anyway?

He would have made a mental note to get rid of it, but he was getting a headache from his mother's screaming, and all of the children had congregated at the foot of the stairs.

"Shut up, you horrible old hag, shut UP!" he roared, seizing the curtain Molly had abandoned to help Tonks up.

The old woman's face blanched.

"_Yoooou_!" she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of Sirius.

"_Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh_!"

"I said — shut — UP!" he roared, and with a stupendous effort he and Remus managed to force the curtains closed again.

Panting from the effort, Sirius flipped his hair out of his eyes and turned to where the children had gathered at the foot of the stairs.

"Your-?"

"His mother, yes," Matty said darkly, frowning at the covered portrait. "She was nasty piece of work in life too. We've been trying to get her down since we got here but I imagine she put a Permanent Sticking Charm on the back of the canvas. Come on, now, you can all help get ready for dinner. Better than staying here and waking her again."

Sirius led the way back down to the kitchen, Sirius following between him and Matty, who was leading the girls.

"But what's a portrait of your mother doing here?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"Hasn't anyone told you? This was my parents' house," said Sirius. "But I'm the last Black left, so it's mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I've been able to do."

Offered was a bit of a stretch, but Harry didn't need to know that. It made Sirius feel better to think he'd actually done something helpful rather than protested the whole idea until he had to give in.

When they reached the kitchen, Bill and Arthur were still poring over the maps from the meeting, the ones of the Department of Mysteries and the surrounding areas.

Molly cleared her throat to announce the arrival of everyone else.

"Harry!" Arthur said, hurrying forward to greet him and shaking his hand vigorously. "Good to see you!"

"Journey all right, guys?" Bill called, trying to gather up twelve scrolls at once. "Mad-Eye didn't make you come via Greenland, then?"

"He tried," said Remus, watching Tonks stride over to help Bill and immediately send a candle toppling onto the last piece of parchment. "Oh no — _Tonks _—"

"Here, dear," Molly said, tired-sounding, waving her wand to repair the building plans that had nearly burned. Matty quickly snatched up the plans and put them in Bill's arms, with a wary look at Harry.

"This sort of thing ought to be cleared away promptly at the end of meetings," Molly snapped before sweeping off toward an ancient dresser from which she started unloading dinner plates.

Bill took out his wand, muttered "_Evanesco_!" and the scrolls vanished.

"Sit down," said Sirius. "You've met Mundungus, haven't you, Harry?"

Upon hearing his name, Mundungus gave a starting snort and blinked, looking around.

"Some'n say m' name?" Mundungus mumbled sleepily. "I 'gree with Sirius…"

He raised a very grubby hand in the air as though voting, his droopy, bloodshot eyes unfocused. Ginny and the girls giggled.

"The meeting's over, Dung," said Matty, as they all sat down around him at the table. "Harry's arrived."

"Eh?" said Mundungus, peering balefully at Harry through his matted ginger hair. "Blimey, so 'e 'as. Yeah… you all right, 'arry?"

"Yeah," said Harry.

Mundungus fumbled nervously in his pockets, still staring at Harry, and pulled out a grimy black pipe. He stuck it in his mouth, ignited the end of it with his wand, and took a deep pull on it. Great billowing clouds of greenish smoke obscured him in seconds.

"Owe you a 'pology," grunted a voice from the middle of the smelly cloud.

"For the last time, Mundungus," called Molly, "will you please _not _smoke that thing in the kitchen, especially not when we're about to eat!"

"Ah," said Mundungus. "Right. Sorry, Molly."

The cloud of smoke vanished as Mundungus stowed his pipe back in his pocket, but an acrid smell of burning socks lingered.

"And if you want dinner before midnight I'll need a hand," Molly said to the room at large. "No, you can stay where you are, Harry dear, you've had a long journey —"

"What can I do, Molly?" said Tonks enthusiastically, bounding forward.

Mrs. Weasley hesitated, looking apprehensive.

"Er — no, it's all right, Tonks, you have a rest too, you've done enough today —"

"No, no, I want to help!" said Tonks brightly, knocking over a chair as she hurried toward the dresser from which Ginny was collecting cutlery.

It wasn't long until Molly and Matty had the cooking well underway with the dinner being cooked with magic to help it along and a lot of semi-eager helpers who didn't include Tonks, who was asked to sit by Ginny and Merryn after she'd nearly broken every last dish in one fell go.

"Seen old Figgy since?" Mundungus asked.

"No," said Harry, "I haven't seen anyone."

"See, I wouldn't 'ave left," said Mundungus, leaning forward, a pleading note in his voice, "but I 'ad a business opportunity —"

Crookshanks jumped up onto Sirius's lap and he began to stroke the ugly half-kneazle he'd taken to considering as his friend since their joint attempt to rid the world of Peter Pettigrew.

"Had a good summer so far?" Sirius asked.

"No, it's been lousy," said Harry.

For the first time, something like a grin flitted across Sirius's face.

"Don't know what you're complaining about, myself."

"_What_?" said Harry incredulously.

"Sirius," Matty sighed, frowning, from her spot peeling vegetables by the sink.

"Personally, I'd have welcomed a dementor attacks" Sirius continued, ignoring her. "A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely. You think you've had it bad, at least you've been able to get out and about, stretch your legs, get into a few fights… I've been stuck inside for a month."

"How come?" asked Harry, frowning.

"Because the Ministry of Magic's still after me, and Voldemort will know all about me being an Animagus by now, Wormtail will have told him, so my big disguise is useless. There's not much I can do for the Order of the Phoenix… or so Dumbledore feels."

"At least you've known what's been going on," Harry pointed out bitterly.

"Oh yeah," said Matty sarcastically. "Sirius has a ball at meetings, listening to Snape's reports, having to take all his snide hints that he's out there risking his life while Sirius is sitting on his backside here having a nice comfortable time… asking me how the cleaning's going —"

"What cleaning?" asked Harry.

"Trying to make this place fit for human habitation," said Sirius, waving a hand around the dismal kitchen. "No one's lived here for ten years, not since my dear mother died, unless you count her old house-elf, and he's gone round the twist, hasn't cleaned anything in ages —"

"Sirius?" said Mundungus, who did not appear to have paid any attention to this conversation, but had been minutely examining an empty goblet. "This solid silver, mate?"

"Yes," said Sirius, surveying it with distaste. "Finest fifteenth century goblin-wrought silver, embossed with the Black family crest."

"That'd come off, though," muttered Mundungus, polishing it with his cuff.

"Fred — George — NO, JUST CARRY THEM!" Mrs. Weasley shrieked.

Fred and George had bewitched a large cauldron of stew, an iron flagon of butterbeer, and a heavy wooden breadboard, complete with knife, to hurtle through the air toward them. The stew skidded the length of the table and came to a halt just before the end, leaving a long black burn on the wooden surface, the flagon of butterbeer fell with a crash, spilling its contents everywhere, and the bread knife slipped off the board and landed, point down and quivering ominously, exactly where Sirius's right hand had been seconds before.

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" screamed Molly. "THERE WAS NO NEED — I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS — JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!"

"They were just trying to save a bit of time!" said Merryn, hurrying forward and wrenching the bread knife out of the table. "Sorry Daddy — they didn't mean to —"

Harry and Sirius were all laughing. Mundungus, who had toppled backward off his chair, was swearing as he got to his feet. Crookshanks had given an angry hiss and shot off under the dresser, from whence his large yellow eyes glowed in the darkness.

"Boys," Arthur said, lifting the stew back into the middle of the table, "your mother's right, you're supposed to show a sense of responsibility now you've come of age —"

"— none of your brothers caused this sort of trouble!" Molly raged at the twins, slamming a fresh flagon of butterbeer onto the table and spilling almost as much again. "Bill didn't feel the need to Apparate every few feet! Charlie didn't Charm everything he met! Percy —"

She stopped dead, catching her breath with a frightened look at her husband, whose expression was suddenly wooden.

"Let's eat," said Bill quickly.

"It looks wonderful, Molly," said Remus, ladling stew onto a plate for her and handing it across the table.

For a few minutes there was silence but for the chink of plates and cutlery and the scraping of chairs as everyone settled down to their food. Then Molly turned to Sirius and Matty and said, "I've been meaning to tell you, there's something trapped in that writing desk in the drawing room, it keeps rattling and shaking. Of course, it could just be a boggart, but I thought we ought to ask Alastor to have a look at it before we let it out."

"Whatever you like," said Sirius indifferently.

"The curtains in there are full of doxies too," Mrs. Weasley went on. "I thought we might try and tackle them tomorrow."

"I look forward to it," said Matty, although she meant no such thing. She hated doxies.

"They're not giving anything away yet," said Bill a little down the table. "I still can't work out whether they believe he's back or not. 'Course, they might prefer not to take sides at all. Keep out of it."

"I'm sure they'd never go over to You-Know-Who," said Arthur, shaking his head. "They've suffered losses too. Remember that goblin family he murdered last time, somewhere near Nottingham?"

"I think it depends what they're offered," said Remus. "And I'm not talking about gold; if they're offered freedoms we've been denying them for centuries they're going to be tempted. Have you still not had any luck with Ragnok, Bill?"

"He's feeling pretty anti-wizard at the moment," said Bill. "He hasn't stopped raging about the Bagman business, he reckons the Ministry did a cover-up, those goblins never got their gold from him, you know —"

A gale of laughter from the middle of the table drowned the rest of Bill's words. Fred, George, Ron, Merryn, Maëlle, and Mundungus were rolling around in their seats.

"…and then," choked Mundungus, tears running down his face, "and then, if you'll believe it, 'e says to me, 'e says, ' 'ere, Dung, where didja get all them toads from? 'Cos some son of a Bludger's gone and nicked all mine!' And I says, 'Nicked all your toads, Will, what next? So you'll be wanting some more, then?' And if you'll believe me, lads, the gormless gargoyle buys all 'is own toads back orf me for twice what 'e paid in the first place —"

"I don't think we need to hear any more of your business dealings, thank you very much, Mundungus," said Molly sharply, as Ron slumped forward onto the table, howling with laughter.

"Beg pardon, Molly," said Mundungus at once, wiping his eyes and winking at Harry. "But, you know, Will nicked 'em orf Warty Harris in the first place so I wasn't really doing nothing wrong —"

"I don't know where you learned about right and wrong, Mundungus, but you seem to have missed a few crucial lessons," said Molly coldly.

Fred and George buried their faces in their goblets of butterbeer; George was hiccupping. For some reason, Mrs. Weasley threw a very nasty look at Sirius before getting to her feet and going to fetch a large rhubarb crumble for pudding. Harry looked round at his godfather.

"Molly doesn't approve of Mundungus," said Sirius in an undertone.

"How come he's in the Order?" Harry said very quietly.

"He's useful," Matty muttered. "Knows all the crooks — well, he would, seeing as he's one himself. But he's also very loyal to Dumbledore, who helped him out of a tight spot once. It pays to have someone like Dung around, he hears things we don't. But Molly thinks inviting him to stay for dinner is going too far. I don't care for him much myself, but she's pretty upset with him at the moment especially. She hasn't forgiven him for slipping off duty when he was supposed to be tailing you."

Three helpings of rhubarb crumble and custard later Arthur was leaning back in his chair, looking replete and relaxed, Tonks was yawning widely, her nose now back to normal, and Ginny, who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for him to chase.

"Nearly time for bed, I think," said Molly on a yawn.

"Not just yet, Molly," said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. "You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity associated with the arrival of dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily relaxed, it was now alert, even tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Remus, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.

"I did!" said Harry with a dark glint in her eyes. "They said they're not allowed in the Order, so-"

"And you're quite right," said Molly. "You're too young."

She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched upon its arms, every trace of drowsiness gone.

"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen —"

"Hang on!" interrupted Maëlle loudly, quite out of character.

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily.

"_We've _been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George.

"'_You're too young, you're not in the Order,_' " said Merryn, in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like Molly's.

"It's not my fault you boys haven't been told what the Order's doing, I've been waiting to talk with the girls until Harry got here," said Sirius calmly, ignoring Matty's uncomfortable shifting. "That's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand —"

"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry, and it shouldn't be for the girls!" said Molly sharply. Her normally kindly face looked dangerous. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"

"Which bit?" Sirius asked politely, but with an air as though readying himself for a fight.

"The bit about not telling Harry more than she _needs to know,_" said Molly, placing a heavy emphasis on the last three words.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George's heads turned from Sirius to Molly as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Merryn and Maëlle were staring at the table. Remus's eyes were fixed on Sirius.

"I don't think he intends to tell him more than he _needs to know_, Molly," said Matty. "But as he was the ones who saw Voldemort come back" (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name), "he, at least, has more right than most to —"

"He's not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!" said Molly. "He's only fifteen and —"

"— and he's dealt with as much as most in the Order," said Sirius, "and more than some —"

"No one's denying what they've done!" said Molly, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. "But he's still —"

"He's not a child!" said Sirius impatiently.

"He's not an adult either!" said Molly, the color rising in her cheeks. "He's not _James, _Sirius!"

"We're perfectly clear who he is, thanks, Molly," said Matty coldly.

"I'm not sure you are!" said Molly. "Sometimes, the way Sirius talk about him, it's as though he thinks he's got your best friend back!"

"What's wrong with that?" said Harry.

"What's wrong, Harry, is that you are _not _your father, however much you might look like him!" said Molly, her eyes still boring into Sirius. "You are still at school and adults responsible for you should not forget it!"

"Meaning I'm an irresponsible father and godfather?" demanded Sirius, his voice rising.

"Meaning you've been known to act rashly, Sirius, which is why Dumbledore keeps reminding you to stay at home and —"

"We'll leave my instructions from Dumbledore out of this, if you please!" said Sirius loudly.

"Arthur!" said Molly, rounding on her husband. "Arthur, back me up!"

Arthur did not speak at once. He took off his glasses and cleaned them slowly on his robes, not looking at his wife. Only when he had replaced them carefully on his nose did he say, "Dumbledore knows the position has changed, Molly. He accepts that Harry will have to be filled in to a certain extent now that he is staying at headquarters—"

"Yes, but there's a difference between that and inviting them to ask whatever they like!"

"Personally," said Matty quietly, looking away from Sirius, as Molly turned quickly to him, hopeful that finally she was about to get an ally, "I think it better that Harry get the facts — not all the facts, Molly, but the general picture — from us, rather than a garbled version from… others."

"Well," said Molly, breathing deeply and looking around the table for support that did not come, "well… I can see I'm going to be overruled. I'll just say this: Dumbledore must have had his reasons for not wanting Harry to know too much, and speaking as someone who has got Harry's best interests at heart —"

"He's not your son," said Sirius quietly.

"He's as good as," said Molly fiercely. "Who else has he got?"

"He's got me!"

"Yes," said Molly, her lip curling. "The thing is, it's been rather difficult for you to look after anyone while you've been locked up in Azkaban, hasn't it?"

Sirius started to rise from his chair.

"Molly, you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry," said Matty sharply. "Sirius, sit _down._"

Molly's lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.

"I think Harry ought to be allowed a say in this," Remus said gently. "He's old enough to decide for himself."

"I want to know what's been going on," Harry said at once.

"Very well," said Molly, her voice cracking. "Ginny — Ron — Hermione — Fred — George - Merryn - Maëlle — I want you out of this kitchen, now."

There was instant uproar.

"We're of age!" Fred and George bellowed together.

"If Harry's allowed, why can't I?" whined Maëlle.

"Mum, I _want _to!" wailed Ginny.

"NO!" shouted Molly, standing up, her eyes over bright. "I absolutely forbid —"

"Molly, you have no say over the girls, and Sirius already said he wants them to stay. And you can't stop Fred and George," said Arthur wearily. "They _are _of age —"

"They're still at school —"

"But they're legally adults now," said Arthur in the same tired voice.

Molly was now scarlet in the face.

"I — oh, all right then, Fred and George can stay, but Ron —"

"Harry'll tell me and Hermione everything you say anyway!" said Ron hotly. "Won't — won't you?" he added uncertainly, meeting Harry's eyes.

"'Course I will," Harry said. Ron and Hermione beamed.

"Fine!" shouted Molly. "Fine! Ginny — BED!"

Ginny did not go quietly, especially because the girls who were younger than her had been allowed to stay. They could hear her raging and storming at her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall Mrs. Black's earsplitting shrieks were added to the din. Remus hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke.

"Okay, Harry… what do you want to know?" Matty asked, frowning at her girls, obviously not wanting them to be there.

Harry took a deep breath.

"Where's Voldemort? What's he doing? I've been trying to watch the Muggle news," he said, ignoring the renewed shudders and winces at the name, "and there hasn't been anything that looks like him yet, no funny deaths or anything —"

"That's because there haven't been any suspicious deaths yet," said Sirius, "not as far as we know, anyway… And we know quite a lot."

"More than he thinks we do anyway," said Remus.

"How come he's stopped killing people?" Harry asked.

"Because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself at the moment," said Matty. "It would be dangerous for him. His comeback didn't come off quite the way he wanted it to, you see. He messed it up."

"Or rather, you messed it up for him," said Remus with a satisfied smile.

"How?" Harry asked perplexedly.

"You weren't supposed to survive!" said Sirius. "Nobody apart from his Death Eaters was supposed to know he'd come back. But you survived to bear witness."

"And the very last person he wanted alerted to his return the moment he got back was Dumbledore," said Matty. "And you made sure Dumbledore knew at once."

"How has that helped?" Harry asked.

"Are you kidding?" said Bill incredulously. "Dumbledore was the only one You-Know-Who was ever scared of!"

"Thanks to you, Dumbledore was able to recall the Order of the Phoenix about an hour after Voldemort returned," said Sirius.

"So what's the Order been doing?" said Harry, looking around at them all.

"Working as hard as we can to make sure Voldemort can't carry out his plans," said Sirius.

"How d'you know what his plans are?" Harry asked quickly.

"Dumbledore's got a shrewd idea," said Matty, "and Dumbledore's shrewd ideas normally turn out to be accurate."

"So what does Dumbledore reckon he's planning?" said Harry.

"Well, firstly, he wants to build up his army again," said Sirius. "In the old days he had huge numbers at his command; witches and wizards he'd bullied or bewitched into following him, his faithful Death Eaters, a great variety of Dark creatures. You heard him planning to recruit the giants; well, they'll be just one group he's after. He's certainly not going to try and take on the Ministry of Magic with only a dozen Death Eaters."

"So you're trying to stop him getting more followers?"

"We're doing our best," said Remus.

"How?"

"Well, the main thing is to try and convince as many people as possible that You-Know-Who really has returned, to put them on their guard," said Bill. "It's proving tricky, though."

"Why?" said Harry.

"Because of the Ministry's attitude," said Tonks. "You saw Cornelius Fudge after You-Know-Who came back, Harry. Well, he hasn't shifted his position at all. He's absolutely refusing to believe it's happened."

"But why?" said Harry desperately. "Why's he being so stupid? If Dumbledore —"

"Ah, well, you've put your finger on the problem," said Arthur with a wry smile. "_Dumbledore._"

"Fudge is frightened of him, you see," said Tonks sadly.

"Frightened of Dumbledore?" said Harry incredulously.

"Frightened of what he's up to," said Arthur. "You see, Fudge thinks Dumbledore's plotting to overthrow him. He thinks Dumbledore wants to be Minister of Magic."

Harry frowned.

"But Dumbledore doesn't want —"

"Of course he doesn't," said Arthur. "He's never wanted the Minister's job, even though a lot of people wanted him to take it when Millicent Bagnold retired. Fudge came to power instead, but he's never quite forgotten how much popular support Dumbledore had, even though Dumbledore never applied for the job."

"Deep down, Fudge knows Dumbledore's much cleverer than he is, a much more powerful wizard, and in the early days of his Ministry he was forever asking Dumbledore for help and advice," said Matty. "But it seems that he's become fond of power now, and much more confident. He loves being Minister of Magic, and he's managed to convince himself that he's the clever one and Dumbledore's simply stirring up trouble for the sake of it."

"How can he think that?" said Harry angrily. "How can he think Dumbledore would just make it all up — that _we'd _make it all up?"

"Because accepting that Voldemort's back would mean trouble like the Ministry hasn't had to cope with for nearly fourteen years," said Sirius bitterly. "Fudge just can't bring himself to face it. It's so much more comfortable to convince himself Dumbledore's lying to destabilize him."

"You see the problem," said Remus. "While the Ministry insists there is nothing to fear from Voldemort, it's hard to convince people he's back, especially as they really don't want to believe it in the first place. What's more, the Ministry's leaning heavily on the _Daily_ _Prophet _not to report any of what they're calling Dumbledore's rumormongering, so most of the Wizarding community are completely unaware anything's happened, and that makes them easy targets for the Death Eaters if they're using the Imperius Curse."

"But you're telling people, aren't you?" said Harry, looking around at Arthur, Sirius, Matty Bill, Mundungus, Lupin, and Tonks. "You're letting people know he's back?"

They all smiled humorlessly.

"Well, as everyone thinks Sirius is a mad mass murderer and the Ministry's put a ten-thousand-Galleon price on my head, we can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can we?" said Matty restlessly.

"And I'm not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community," said Remus. "It's an occupational hazard of being a werewolf."

"Tonks and Arthur would lose their jobs at the Ministry if they started shooting their mouths off," said Sirius, "and it's very important for us to have spies inside the Ministry, because you can bet Voldemort will have them."

"We've managed to convince a couple of people, though," said Arthur. "Tonks here, for one — she's too young to have been in the Order of the Phoenix last time, and having Aurors on our side is a huge advantage — Kingsley Shacklebolt's been a real asset too. He's in charge of the hunt for Sirius, so he's been feeding the Ministry information that Sirius is in Tibet."

"But if none of you's putting the news out that Voldemort's back —" Harry began.

"Who said none of us was putting the news out?" said Matty. "Why d'you think Dumbledore's in such trouble?"

"What d'you mean?" Harry asked.

"They're trying to discredit him," said Remus. "Didn't you see the _Daily Prophet _last week? They reported that he'd been voted out of the Chairmanship of the International Confederation of Wizards because he's getting old and losing his grip, but it's not true, he was voted out by Ministry wizards after he made a speech announcing Voldemort's return. They've demoted him from Chief Warlock on the Wizengamot — that's the Wizard High Court — and they're talking about taking away his Order of Merlin, First Class, too."

"But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards," said Bill, grinning.

"It's no laughing matter," said Arthur shortly. "If he carries on defying the Ministry like this, he could end up in Azkaban and the last thing we want is Dumbledore locked up. While You-Know-Who knows Dumbledore's out there and wise to what he's up to, he's going to go cautiously for a while. If Dumbledore's out of the way — well, You-Know-Who will have a clear field."

"But if Voldemort's trying to recruit more Death Eaters, it's bound to get out that he's come back, isn't it?" asked Harry desperately.

"Voldemort doesn't march up to people's houses and bang on their front doors, Harry," said Sirius. "He tricks, jinxes, and blackmails them. He's well-practiced at operating in secrecy. In any case, gathering followers is only one thing he's interested in, he's got other plans too, plans he can put into operation very quietly indeed, and he's concentrating on them at the moment."

"What's he after apart from followers?" Harry asked swiftly.

Sirius and Matty exchange the most fleeting of looks before Matty said, "Stuff he can only get by stealth."

When Harry continued to look puzzled, Sirius said, "Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"When he was powerful before?" said Harry.

"Yes."

"Like what kind of weapon?" said Harry. "Something worse than the _Avada Kedavra _— ?"

"That's enough."

Molly spoke from the shadows beside the door. Sirius had not noticed her return from taking Ginny upstairs. Her arms were crossed and she looked furious.

"I want you in bed, now. All of you," she added, looking around at Merryn, Maëlle, Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione.

"You can't boss us —" Merryn began.

"Watch me," snarled Molly. She was trembling slightly as she looked at Sirius. "You've given Harry plenty of information. Any more and you might just as well induct him into the Order straightaway."

"Why not?" said Harry quickly. "I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight —"

"No."

It was not Molly who spoke this time, but Remus.

"The Order is comprised only of overage wizards," he said. "Wizards who have left school," he added, as Fred and George opened their mouths. "There are dangers involved of which you can have no idea, any of you… I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough."

Sirius half-shrugged but did not argue. Molly beckoned imperiously to her sons, Sirius's daughters, and Hermione. One by one they stood up and Harry, recognizing defeat, followed suit.


	20. Summer Nearly Gone

They spent their days cleaning, and Sirius hated it almost more once Harry was a part of it than he'd hated it before.

Molly had been viciously angry with him ever since he insisted on telling Harry what he wanted to know, and Matty had been a bit irked about his including the girls in the bargain.

"What do you want from me?" Sirius insisted. "They're not children, Matty-"

"Yes, they are!" she snapped. "Or at least they were! I want them to have a childhood, Sirius, a real one, not like what we had with the war looming over us every day."

"You think I don't want that too?" Sirius had said, outraged that she would suggest such a thing. "Matty, I would love to keep them safe and sound and at my side forever, but they'll be safer if they grow up a bit faster, whether or not that's what we want for them. Do you understand?"

She had understood, of course, and she'd known he was right, but that didn't stop her from being upset with him.

Remus was upset with him, too, but as Sirius reminded Remus when he'd gone to bring it up, Sirius was their father, not Remus.

Things were tense and upset and having Harry there wasn't nearly as merry and exciting as Sirius had thought it would be.

It was especially bad when they were cleaning the room with the Black Family Tree on the walls, because Sirius knew the girls had seen his cousin, Narcissa, and had seen the resemblance.

"Ew," Merryn had said, sticking out her tongue. "Look, Elle, she married Malfoy's dad."

"That means she's Malfoy's mum," Maëlle gasped, horrified. "That's disgusting."

"You know what else this means?" Merryn said in a low voice.

"What?"

"We're related to Malfoy."

Both girls had made disgusted expressions at that thought and gone back to cleaning, staying as far away from that part of the wall as possible.

They weren't on the wall, of course, Sirius had mused as he showed the wall to Harry during the lunch break. When Sirius had been blasted off, all relatives that would have branched off from him ceased to exist as far as the tree was concerned. Tonks wasn't there either, as her mother had been blasted off when she married Ted.

Matty hated the family tree. She never said as much, but the way she looked at it made it quite clear.

Sirius didn't ask her why it bothered her, although he had a feeling that it had something to do with how his family had treated her when they were together before he was taken to Azkaban. It probably had something to do with Bellatrix's attempts to kill her after he was locked up, too. He wished he could have been there to protect her. It was one of his greatest regrets about how he'd handled things, but at least she'd had Remus to keep her safe when Sirius couldn't.

Sirius had half a mind to blast his cousins off the tree too, but it wouldn't solve anything.

"Harry's hearing," Matty said one morning, knowing that Sirius was going to be moody no matter what the outcome was of the whole matter.

"The fact that there's even going to be a hearing is disgusting," Sirius grumbled, tipping some sausage from his plate to the one she'd pulled in front of herself. "It just shows you how absolutely inept the Ministry is."

"They weren't always this bad," Matty reasoned. "Bagnold was a great wartime Minister."

Sirius shrugged.

Millicent Bagnold had been better than the alternatives, but she hadn't been very good at keeping her people in line.

His being sent to Azkaban without a trail, for example, had happened under Bagnold's watch. That wasn't exactly the sort of thing a good Minister let happen, especially when scum like Malfoy got trials and were wrongfully acquitted for their deeds.

And Sirius was almost certain that Lucius Malfoy had been the one to kill his brother. As sick of a thought as it was to think that even Lucius Malfoy would kill his wife's cousin, the Death Eaters didn't seem to care much about previous associations when Voldemort told them to do something.

Waiting was horrible. Sirius knew that Arthur was probably not going to be able to bring Harry back until lunchtime, but he was fidgeting, watching Merryn and Maëlle squabbling over how much ketchup was too much to put on their sausages.

He wasn't sure where they'd learned that, as neither of their parents nor Remus put ketchup on any of their breakfast food. Maybe it was something they'd picked up at school.

No matter what the answer was, though, it wouldn't mean anything good as far as Sirius was concerned. If Harry was convicted he'd become sort of like Sirius and they could stay in Grimmauld Place together with Matty.

If he was acquitted and cleared of all charges he would be going back to Hogwarts with the girls and Sirius and Matty would be alone, without even the diversion of hunting and killing Peter to keep Sirius from going crazy. He knew she understood that he needed more than just her to keep him happy, but it didn't keep him from feeling occasionally guilty that he couldn't just be happy that he had her and wasn't alone and on the run anymore.

He felt so helpless, though, when he was alone with her, like he was constantly unable to do what he should do, like marry her and find some cure so she could have children again and hunt down everyone who had ever hurt or tried to hurt her...

Instead they sat around, 'cleaning', being useless. Even when they were making love sometimes, Sirius felt like he was wasting time that should have been spent toward the cause, not like when they were kids and he wanted to spend every moment he wasn't fighting in bed with Matty. He'd called her his reward back then.

The moment Arthur and Harry swept into the kitchen, which was crowded with waiting, anxious people, Arthur declared that Harry had been cleared of all charges.

"I knew it!" yelled Ron, punching the air. "You always get away with stuff !"

"They were bound to clear you," said Hermione, who had looked positively faint with anxiety when Harry had entered the kitchen and was now holding a shaking hand over her eyes. "There was no case against you, none at all…"

"Everyone seems quite relieved, though, considering they all knew I'd get off," said Harry, smiling.

Molly was wiping her face on her apron, and Fred, George, Merryn, Maëlle, and Ginny were doing a kind of war dance to a chant that went "_He_ _got off, he got off, he got off _—"

"That's enough, settle down!" shouted Arthur, though he too was smiling. "Listen, Sirius, Lucius Malfoy was at the Ministry —"

"What?" said Sirius sharply.

"_He got off, he got off, he got off _—"

"Be quiet, you lot! Yes, we saw him talking to Fudge on level nine, then they went up to Fudge's office together. Dumbledore ought to know."

"Absolutely," said Matty. "We'll tell him, don't worry."

"Well, I'd better get going, there's a vomiting toilet in Bethnal Green waiting for me. Molly, I'll be late, I'm covering for Tonks, but Kingsley might be dropping in for dinner —"

"_He got off, he got off, he got off _—"

"That's enough — Fred — George — Ginny!" said Molly, as Arthur left the kitchen. "Harry dear, come and sit down, have some lunch, you hardly ate breakfast…"

"'Course, once Dumbledore turned up on your side, there was no way they were going to convict you," said Ron happily, now dishing great mounds of mashed potatoes onto everyone's plates.

"Yeah, he swung it for me," said Harry. His hand shot up to his scar.

"What's up?" said Merryn, looking alarmed.

"Scar," Harry mumbled. "But it's nothing… It happens all the time now…"

None of the others but Hermione had noticed a thing; all of them were now helping themselves to food while gloating over Harry's narrow escape; Fred, George, Maëlle, and Ginny were still singing. Merryn and Hermione looked rather anxious, but before either could say anything, Ron said happily, "I bet Dumbledore turns up this evening to celebrate with us, you know."

"I don't think he'll be able to, Ron," said Molly, setting a huge plate of roast chicken down in front of Harry. "He's really very busy at the moment."

"_HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF _—"

"SHUT UP!" roared Molly.

Sirius snorted, picking up Maëlle around the waist and spinning her around so that she squealed with delight and surprise, quite forgetting the silly chant she'd been a part of, the chant that had made Sirius both pleased and disappointed.

At least he would have his girls and Harry for a little while longer, he tried to tell himself. And they would be back.

A couple of weeks later, the Order Members found themselves sitting around the kitchen table of Grimmauld Place, bad news from Albus Dumbledore, and a solemn air around them on just two days before the students were all to return to Hogwarts.

They'd since sorted out security and getting them all to the train and details like that.

It was their safety at school that was starting to be of concern.

"I don't understand how this could happen," Sirius growled. "I mean, we're a secret defense organization! Surely Albus could have scrounged up someone who could teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Well, Remus can't exactly go back," Matty pointed out. "I mean, he tried to eat a few of the students."

"And I don't think they'd be welcoming Mad-Eye back with open arms," Bill said wryly. "It wasn't his fault, but his look-alike imposter did cause a death and attempt a murder in his own year."

"But they're not the only people in the Order," Sirius said impatiently. "What about Matty?"

Matty and Remus both raised their eyebrows, knowing he was grasping at straws.

She'd been rather lucky to even pass her Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T.s, although Sirius pointed out a hundred times that it had been his fault for keeping her from studying.

"Sirius, you know that's utter rubbish," Mad-Eye snorted. "If I'd have had my way, that girl would have never seen a real duel, much less a battle, but we were always short on wands. If I were a parent, I wouldn't want her teaching my children."

"But you're not a parent," Tonks pointed out. "She's good with kids."

"Thank you, Tonks," Matty said with a sigh, "but I'm not qualified. And there's no way they'd let the mother of Sirius Black's children work at Hogwarts, not in the current political climate."

Sirius pouted at this, but he knew it was all true.

"So what do we know about who they've appointed?" Bill asked pointedly, reminding them all that even if one of them were qualified, the Ministry had taken matters into their own hands.

"Not much," Mad-Eye admitted. "An Undersecretary to Fudge, so someone with his agenda, I'm sure."

"Worse that than," Kingsley said solemnly. "The rumors are that he's selected Dolores Umbridge."

Sirius looked over at Remus, who went from concerned to fuming in less than a second.

Apart from other things, Dolores Umbridge had campaigned against various 'half-breeds', depriving many of their rights, including werewolves. She was a lot of the reason Remus found it so hard to find or keep a job, on top of already existing prejudice. Sirius didn't even feel jealous when Matty squeezed Remus's hand comfortingly. He would have done it himself it wouldn't have looked strange.

"Well," Arthur said with a sigh, "if the rumors are true we're going to have quite an interesting year on our hands, aren't we?"

"When don't we?" Molly snorted, obviously referring to the fact that Harry seemed to have a talent for getting himself into trouble each year.

The following day, Sirius found himself sitting at the kitchen table, making a sandwich, when Merryn came bursting in, sitting down beside him.

"Daddy," she said sweetly. "Have you seen Sturgis?"

"No, baby," he said, deciding whether or not he wanted more cheese. "Haven't seen him since yesterday. Why?"

"He promised he'd be by around before lunch today," she whined. "He promised he'd show me how to do a stronger Shield Charm when he brought back something of Mad-Eye's."

"I can show you, if you'd like," Sirius said, frowning and trying to think why Sturgis would break a promise to Merryn, whom he adored nearly as much as Mad-Eye seemed to. It must have been something very important, and Sirius made a point to ask Sturgis when he got a chance.

"Really?" she squealed. "Okay. Do you want me to get Mummy's wand for you?"

"Yes, that'd be great love," he said, kissing her forehead gently. "I'll meet you in the attic, all right?"

She ran off excitedly and Sirius sighed, finishing making his sandwich quickly and eating it on his way up the several sets of stairs to the attic. There was something like pride causing him to be filled with adrenaline. For once, he was going to be the one teaching his daughter something, like he should have done when she was growing up. It was too bad that it was things like advanced Shield Charms instead of how to ride a broom and the rules of Quidditch, but he would take what he could get.

He'd just finished his sandwich and sat down on a dusty old claw-foot chair his mother had gotten as a gift from his grandmother and stored away as soon as the gift-giver had died. Merryn skipped through the door into the attic with a big grin on her face.

"I told Mummy that you were showing me things, because she thinks I'm not allowed to do magic over the summer."

Sirius grinned and said, "You're _not_ supposed to do magic over the summer."

Merryn shrugged.

"George says that as long as you're in a magical house, they can't tell the difference. If I did it in some Muggle place, they'd catch me, but as there are so many wizards around they can't really tell."

"That explains how they've been making products all summer," Sirius commented, amused.

He couldn't really judge them, not after everything he'd done growing up that he wasn't supposed to do. Really, he'd been worse. Nothing he'd done was actually productive except for becoming an Animagus.

"So," he said, clapping his hands together, grinning. "Let's get to this Shield Charm."

Merryn held out Matty's wand, which felt strangely familiar and welcoming in his hands when he took it from her. Well, he'd certainly borrowed it enough, used it when he scrambled for a wand and hers was the first one that came to his hand. He wished he could hold his old wand, though. But they broke it when he was thrown in Azkaban.

He worked with Merryn for about an hour on the improvement to her Shield Charm before turning to the more difficult version, but he was just beginning to demonstrate when Maëlle rushed up into the attic, looking excited and out of breath.

"What's wrong, love?" he said urgently, gripping Matty's wand more tightly.

"Mum told me to come and get you right away," she gasped. "We need to congratulate... The letters, Hogwarts letters came..."

"And?" Merryn demanded.

"And Hermione and Ron are... prefects," she finally managed to say.

"Not Harry?" Merryn asked, frowning. "Why not Harry?"

Maëlle shrugged.

"It's definitely Ron."

Then Merryn began to giggle and finally choked out, "Oh, Fred and George are going to be so terrible to him!"

Sirius's lips twitched at the thought that Merryn found that funny, because he would have at her age, too, but he hadn't been too terrible to Remus when he got the badge, and he'd even been pleased for James when he got it.

"Who knows, maybe Ron will make their lives easier," Sirius said, mussing up Merryn's hair a bit.

"I doubt it," she snorted. "Ron does what Hermione tells him to, and well, you've met Hermione."

He laughed slightly before he could catch himself. Oh, yes he'd met Hermione, and he knew exactly what his daughter meant. The bushy-haired girl was Lily Evans incarnate if anyone could boast such a thing. She knew just what she wanted, which was order, structured, and good grades. And she knew precisely how to bully others into getting it. She hadn't figured out how to be quite as pretty as Lily had been, so she didn't have boys lapping at her ankles and doing whatever she asked with hopes for a date, but not many could be so perfect.

"You're right, Elle," Sirius said, sticking Matty's wand in his pocket. "We ought to congratulate them!"

"Molly says there's going to be a party for them tonight," Maëlle said excitedly. "She's invited everyone. She's off getting all the school things for us now. I heard her telling Mum that she was getting Ron a broom! Can I get a broom, Daddy?"

They were going into their third year, he realized suddenly. Of course they would want broomsticks, like all their friends probably had. Harry had the top of the line, thanks to Sirius. His girls ought to have the best, too.

"I'll have to talk with your mother," Sirius said carefully, knowing that Matty would kill him if he made such a decision without even consulting her, however little he took her opinion into account, "but I think it's very likely that you can get brooms, yes."

The girls squealed excitedly, hugging each other all the way downstairs, and it occurred to him that they'd been waiting for the perfect opportunity to ask him for brooms. It was almost as if they'd planned it.

But Sirius could hardly bring himself to care. What did it matter if they played him for a fool if he could see them smile like that?


	21. Follow You

Sirius stood at the party for Hermione and Ron, and it didn't escape his notice that Harry seemed more than a little sullen. Before he had a chance to go over and reassure Harry, though, Matty grabbed his arm and hissed in his ear, "So I hear you've promised our daughters broomsticks."

He winced.

"I was going to talk with you about that-"

"I bet you were."

"I didn't _promise_ them," he sighed. "I said I'd have to talk to you, but that there was a pretty good chance, darling. You know I wouldn't get them something like that without asking you."

She smirked up at him, kissing his cheek.

"Well, I suppose you'll want to buy them the biggest and best thing on the market, then? Firebolts, one each?"

He didn't answer. He just grinned at her.

The one thing he was quickly learning would never get him in trouble with Matty was spoiling the girls. If he did something because he loved them, it _couldn't_ be the wrong thing because for some reason she threw all her good sense out of the window when he was being paternal.

"All right, then," she sighed, cuddling close to his chest. "Firebolts it is."

One of the girls asked, in all the excitement of learning that Tonks was too troublesome to be a prefect, whether Sirius or Matty had been a prefect in school.

"Oh, no," Sirius laughed. "We were too troublesome, spent too much time in detention with James. Mooney was the good boy; he got the badge."

"Didn't do a very good job with it, though," Remus said with a frown. "I never managed to keep you lot out of trouble."

"That's not entirely true," Sirius argued. "You got Matty out of trouble plenty of times."

Sirius was grimly satisfied to see a slight blush on both Matty and Remus's cheeks.

Attention shifted several times and Sirius found himself in a few different conversations before he noticed Mad-Eye showing something to Harry, something that looked like it was making Harry feel rather sick to his stomach.

"What have you got over here?" he asked, pressing in on Mad-Eye to take a look at the thing in question, which turned out to be a picture of the original Order of the Phoenix. Sirius smiled down at all the smiling, familiar faces for a moment, but then he saw Caradoc. "You've not shown this to Matty yet, have you?"

"Shown me what?" her laughing voice said from behind him, and Sirius didn't even have time to attempt to hide it from her before she came around to his side and grabbed the photograph out of his hand, frowning down at it. "Oh, Sirius, look how young we all were! Remus, you have to see this!"

Remus came over and looked over Matty's shoulder at the faces of themselves as youths.

"This is everybody, isn't it?" he asked, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Yes, there's Dorcas, she was dead not long after this if I recall right."

The casual manner in which Remus said those words made Sirius's stomach churn uncomfortably.

But it hadn't bothered him so much to think of it that way in his youth, Sirius recalled. He'd been desensitized fairly quickly into the fighting. The things he'd seen, the horrors he'd witnessed... He'd never told Matty about most of it, wanting to protect her from the worst of the war. Sure she'd fought, but not as he and James had. Even Remus hardly saw some of the things James and Sirius had, fighting in the front lines all the time, not that they'd have had it any other way.

Harry had disappeared somewhere, maybe up to his room, when Sirius had sat down with Matty, showing off the picture to the girls, who were curious about who all the people were with their parents and Uncle Remus. They'd barely started pointing out people when they heard the commotion from upstairs.

Remus, Matty, and Sirius exchanged nervous looks and they hurried upstairs, Sirius and Remus with wands in hand, Matty clutching at her pocket for a moment before she remembered that she'd let Merryn take her wand to Sirius. When they reached the sounds, however, they found something disturbing.

Harry was standing in the doorway looking distressed and Molly was standing with her wand out, sobbing over Harry's dead, bloody body.

Sirius blinked, looked from Harry to Harry, and decided that Harry must be alive, that Molly must have tried to take on the boggart herself and was having a bit of a rough go of it. People were saying things around him, but Sirius wasn't hearing them, simply looking down at the boggart of Harry's dead body lying there on the floor. It looked so real, so much like James's body, except with blood all over him, that Sirius could almost expect to see Lily sprawled out in front of a crib.

"Sirius," Matty whispered, and he realized they were the only two left standing there, "are you okay?"

No, he thought to himself. No, he wasn't okay. Because about a second after he had his almost-flashback from that terrible night, he was picturing his own little girls sprawled out on the floor, bloodied and pale with death, or even Matty.

And all he wanted to do was vomit.

"I'm fine," he lied. "Just a bit shocked, I guess. He looked like James like that... He..."

Sirius choked down the rest of his sentence.

Matty just nodded, as if she could know what he'd seen in place of Harry on that floor, but she couldn't know, she couldn't possibly understand how terrified he felt, staring at that blank expanse of floor, making sure that Matty and Merryn and Maëlle weren't there, that they were safe and good and not dead.

They weren't dead, he reminded himself, hugging Matty tightly as they made their way back downstairs.

Sirius tucked the girls in that night and kissed them, hugging them tighter than ever before.

They weren't going to die. He wasn't going to let them die.

Sirius woke up the following morning and swallowed hard, refusing to let tears fall.

The children were going back to Hogwarts. It was September first, and Sirius wouldn't see his sweet girls again until December, which seemed so far away as Sirius lay in bed with his arms around Matty, trying not to cry.

She stirred, her eyes blinking open, and she smiled sadly at him after a moment.

Matty had remembered, too, what day it was.

"Did Remus ever say if I was allowed to take the girls to the station?" she whispered.

Sirius shook his head. Remus and Mad-Eye had expressly said that she wasn't allowed, but Sirius didn't want to be the one to tell her that. It was for her own safety, but Sirius didn't want to remind her of that, because he had a plan of his own.

"C'mon, love," he finally groaned. "We've got to be up and dressed or we'll miss all the action lying in bed."

"What action?" she yawned.

"You've never been around when a bunch of boys were scrambling to get ready to go to Hogwarts, have you?" he mused, realizing that she'd never spent the latter part of the summer at Potter Manor with them.

She shook her head, and instead of telling her what to expect, he just laughed, climbing out of bed, pulling her to her feet, and then pulling off his clothes, searching for something to wear.

Before he had a chance to find a shirt to go with the trousers he'd selected, Matty came up behind him and ran her nails down his back.

"I think I've got the best view in London," she teased, kissing his neck.

"What, just London?" he quipped back cheekily. "You used to say that I was the most attractive male in the entire world."

"You've aged a bit, love," she pointed out fairly, although with a slight blow to his ego. At least it was slight. Matty wasn't her usual brand of cruel that morning, so he knew she was upset that they weren't able to take the girls to school like a normal family. He decided not to throw out a witty and biting comeback. He wanted her not to be upset with him just then, especially when he enacted his own plan, because she would be upset with him later.

"I suppose you're right," he said fairly. "Now, come on, let's get you all dressed up and ready, okay, darling? The girls are going to be bouncing off the walls by now, if they're anything like me at all."

"They're everything like you," she said with only a slight hint of bitterness in her voice. "Anyway, you're right, let's get dressed."

They didn't speak again until after Sirius took her hand in his, walked her out of their room and down the hall, down the stairs, to where the chaos was going on.

Molly was yelling at her twins, his own twins were chasing each other around after what looked like a pair of socks, and everyone else was just trying not to get in anybody's way. Sirius rushed over to round up his daughters.

"Are you all packed, then?" he asked, when he'd caught one under each arm.

"I would be," Maëlle pouted, "if Merryn would give me my socks."

"They're not yours," Merryn said, obviously lying.

"Give her the socks, love," Sirius sighed. "You can straighten out all this when you get to school. Please try not to make this too crazy. It's bad enough with so many of you all."

The agreed, begrudgingly, and Merryn handed the socks back to her sister, which probably belonged with her, anyway. Sirius then shifted into his Animagus form, following his daughters up to their room as they finished putting away the last of their things, and then following them eagerly down the stairs as they dragged their trunks behind them. Harry was at the front door with his own trunk, and Sirius nuzzled Harry's hand with his snout, trying to ignore the overpoweringly wonderful scent of Matty, which was coming down the stairs.

"Please tell me he's not about to do what I think he's doing," Matty groaned, looking down at him from the stairwell. He whimpered slightly under her stern gaze, nuzzling Merryn for pity, who always petted him if he did so. Naturally, probably more out of habit, than anything else, she began to pet Sirius's head, scratching behind his ears until his tail was wagging fiercely.

She was too good at that.

"Sirius, I don't think this is a good idea," Remus said sternly.

He whimpered again.

Remus always sided with Matty unless he thought that doing so would put her in danger, and that fact was not escaping Sirius as he continued to appeal to his daughters for a right to see them off.

"Please, Uncle Remus?" the girls began to plead, and they maintained their begging as Molly and Remus both expressed their dislike of the whole affair. Harry stayed out of it, standing to the side looking amused as the girls plead their father's case.

They got all of nowhere until Maëlle dropped to the floor, clutching Sirius's fur and burying her face in it, weeping by the sounds of things, although he felt not a single tear drop onto his coat.

Apparently, she was just as devious as her mother when it suited her.

"Oh, Remus, just let him go," Matty finally sighed. "The girls will never forgive us if we try to keep him here. No one will know it's him if he's smart about it."

Sirius barked happily, licking Maëlle's face enthusiastically as Remus reluctantly gave in to the verdict their mother had set.

"Fine," he said gruffly, "but you'd better behave yourself, Sirius, or I'm going to sentence you to hard labor for at least a month. You're not to put the girls in danger, do you understand me?"

Sirius had barked his agreement, and he followed happily at Merryn and Maëlle's heels the whole way, basking in the sun, in the feel of real wind through his fur. It had been too long since he'd breathed real air, even if it was London air. Anything was better than that stuffy old house that smelled terribly of oppression and memories better forgot.

When they reached King's Cross he mused that it had been here that he'd first seen his beautiful girls, and they'd still been quite little girls then, although they'd grown so fast in the two short years since.

"Merryn!" called the voice of Tien Vo. "Elle!"

He could see the knowing look in her eye as she spotted him, coming over and petting his head.

"Hi, puppy!" she cooed. "Is he coming on the platform with us?"

"Can he, please?" the twins cooed in unison, and Remus just sighed and shook his head in resignation.

Sirius went through the barrier between platforms nine and ten for the first time since his own seventh year of Hogwarts, that time with his hand in Matty's, now as a dog at the heels of their daughters. It felt more than a little bit surreal.

"Oh, look, there's Creevey," Tien said, pointing at a boy was waving eagerly at the trio of girls. The girls giggled and waved back. "He wrote me all summer. Did he write you guys, too?"

Sirius's ears pricked up. Their daughters were discussing a boy who looked to be much closer to their age than the Weasley twins. This was important information, in case he had to break the boy's kneecaps. The boy didn't look like he'd put up much of a fight, but still.

"Yeah, he did," Merryn said with a smile. "Twice a week, most of the time."

Tien's eyes bulged incredulously.

"No!" she said excitedly. "Who was he writing, you or Elle?"

"Merryn," Maëlle said teasingly, and Sirius decided that he didn't like this Creevey character one bit.

For he had heard that same teasing tone when he was not much older than his girls, from Mary MacDonald.

_"Where have you been?" Evans asked incredulously. "I looked all up and down the train for you."_

_ Sirius stayed out of sight under the invisibility cloak, trying hard not to snigger at the prefect's exasperation. What did James see in her?_

_ "She was with Sirius," Mary said teasingly, and it was all Sirius could do not to make a sound. He closed his eyes as he saw Matty begin to blush, thinking about the time they'd spent in a stall in the girl's toilet, her back pressed to the locked door of the stall, his hands in her shirt, her mouth on his mouth, his hips grinding against hers. The feel and taste of her had driven him wild, but she hadn't wanted to shag in the stall, not on the train, not when anyone could walk in._

_ "Everyone will know it's us," she'd whined, and although he was sure she was wrong, he eventually gave in and pulled the cloak on, following her back to the compartment._

_ The look on Evan's face was sour._

_ "I don't know why you bother with that boy, Matty," she sniffed. "You're worth five of him."_

_ "Lily," Mary said warningly._

_ Sirius and Mary had never been friends, but they'd always been friendly, and Mary didn't like the lack of civility between Lily and the Marauders._

_ "I love him," Matty said softly, as though just realizing it herself. "I love Sirius Black."_

It had been the first Sirius had heard of it, so perhaps that really had been when she'd first realized it, but Sirius rewarded her for the words twice over that night when they met in the prefect's bath.

It wasn't a bad memory, certainly, but the memory did fuel his dislike of this Creevey, whatever anyone said about the boy.

While Sirius was coming to his conclusions, all three girls knelt to the floor and hugged him tightly, kissing his fur. The twins told him how much they would miss their sweet puppy, and Tien told him to be good in the cute way that girls ordered boys around when they were playing at being important.

Sirius licked his daughters' faces before they rushed off, and then he bounded toward Harry, got up on his hind legs and put his front paws on Harry's shoulders in a way of parting, licking his face happily, before Remus and Mad-Eye hissed at him to behave more like a dog. He returned to four legs.

They were gone too quickly. How had Matty managed to watch the twins leave her the year before, especially it being their first year away from her? Sirius wanted to run after them, to bring them home again with him.

But he was an obedient dog, generally, and he watched anxiously as they sat on the train, waving out at him and Remus, watching and barking after the train after it was out of sight. Then he followed Remus home again, his good mood over getting out of the house gone.

His daughters were gone.

Sure, they would be back at Christmas, but there were months until Christmas, and they were growing so fast. They would practically be women by Christmas.

He followed Remus up the stairs of Number 12, through the door, and transformed as he followed him down to the kitchen where Matty was already starting on drinking them out of firewhiskey.

"How was it?" Matty said bitterly as he sat down beside her.

"It was okay," he said honestly. "There's... there's a boy, Matty."

"There are lots of boys," she said with shrug, not grasping his point. "Harry's a boy. The Weasley's have a boatload of boys."

"No, there's a boy," Sirius snapped. "He... This boy was writing our Merryn all summer and... and the way Elle talked about it-"

"What was the name?" she sighed.

"Creevey."

"Don't worry about it, then," she said casually.

"How can you possibly say that?" he asked, horrified.

"Because," she teased. "It's not Potter or Black, so I reckon her virtue's safe. If you're so worried, though, why don't you write to Harry about him?"

Sirius was a bit upset that she wasn't taking things as seriously as he, but he told her that he'd do just that, and went off to write to Harry immediately.


	22. Hello Lonely

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my loyal reader and reviewer, **_**Lizaluvspuppies**_**, whose correspondence is one of the biggest driving forces behind this story at the moment. Sorry Matty's such a bitch. Sirius isn't blameless either.**

** -C**

"Paper," Matty muttered a week later, sitting on Sirius's lap as she grabbed a bit of bacon off his plate.

"Oi, that was mine," Sirius snapped.

"You want it, you take it," she said, chewing on the bite she'd taken off the chewy meat.

Remus pushed the newspaper across the table as Sirius kissed Matty, trying to get at some of the meat she was chewing.

"You two are disgusting," Remus muttered, face scrunched disapprovingly as she giggled. The search for bacon had turned into a passionate kiss. "Like teenagers. Anyway, I've not looked at the paper, so let me know if there's anything important."

When Sirius finally relinquished Matty's lips and allowed her to turn to the paper, he winked at Remus, who was still watching them disapprovingly over his tea as he sipped it. Sirius then shrugged and wrapped his arms around her waist as she read.

"Have we gotten a letter from the girls yet?" he asked eagerly. "Did you confront them about this boy?"

"I thought you were going to write Harry," she sighed, skimming the paper. Then she dropped it abruptly. "We've to problems, boys."

"What?" Remus and Sirius chorused, both scrambling to get the paper from her, but she snatched it out of their grasps, crumpling it slightly in the process.

"The paper says that Sirius has been spotted in London," she said slowly, indicating that there was more than just that.

Sirius snorted.

"They're just guessing."

Remus frowned.

"Kingsley's been working to make sure that they guess that you're anywhere but England, Sirius. Somehow I doubt they're just guessing."

Sirius shrugged. Somewhere in his gut he knew that Remus was probably right, but he didn't want to admit that someone might have recognized his Animagus form at King's Cross. It would prove everyone else right, and Sirius hated that thought.

"The other thing is that Sturgis Podmore is now in Azkaban," she said softly.

"WHAT?" both men shouted, scrambling again for the paper, but she balled it and tossed it to the other side of the room, scowling at them, annoyed.

"Will you let me finish?" she snapped, and they quieted down quickly, watching her with expectant eyes. "There. Well, apparently he was caught trying to break into the Department of Mysteries."

Remus frowned.

"That means one of two things," he said slowly. "It means that either Sturgis was caught patrolling and they thought that was what he was doing, or it means that he was Imperiused and was actually trying to break in."

They all shifted uncomfortably, knowing that the latter was more likely, considering the fact that he would have been wearing an invisibility cloak.

"Well, there's one thing we do know for sure," Sirius said softly. "We know now why Sturgis hadn't returned Mad-Eye's cloak like he was supposed to."

"There's something else we know for sure," Matty pointed out. "There's going to be an Order meeting tonight.

Sure enough, not even ten minutes later a message came from Mad-Eye to tell them that there was a meeting that evening and that Molly would be making dinner.

"Oh, how nice of her," Sirius said bitterly.

Matty had a look on her face like she wanted to tell him to be nice, but she decided she'd rather not. In all fairness, she really didn't have any right to be telling anyone to be nice, but Remus sat there watching both of them as if to make sure they stayed in line.

Sirius was fairly tense most of the day. Order meetings weren't going to be the same, because he didn't have Harry or his girls to brighten up the day after they were over. Matty tried to brighten him up beforehand with a quickie in the washroom, but Remus kept knocking on the door asking them to behave themselves in rooms everyone had to use and it killed the moment. They finished anyway, of course, but it wasn't the cheering occasion Matty had intended it to be.

Remus went grocery shopping for Molly in the late afternoon, leaving Matty and Sirius more or less alone in the house, since Kreacher liked to give them a wide berth.

"I swear, if I hear your mother calling me a whore one more time I'm going to start cutting her portrait into tiny bits," Matty groaned, curling up with Sirius in his father's old study, where they'd set up a sofa Matty transfigured out of a ghastly table from a different room.

"You'd have my blessing, except she'd just inhabit another portrait," Sirius sighed. "And honestly, we need to leave the portraits intact so that Phineas Nigellus can reach us in an emergency."

"Dumbledore's orders," Matty grumbled bitterly. "I hate that stupid portrait. He says snide things at me."

"He says snide things at everyone, darling," Sirius said with a small bark of laughter. "Even the people he likes, I presume. Crabby old men think they have a right to that sort of thing. It's why he was the least loved headmaster Hogwarts ever had."

She smirked and whispered, "Well, there's no portrait in here."

"No, there's not," Sirius muttered, watching her move a bit closer to him. His heart was starting to pound.

Her lips met his in a sweet kiss and Sirius pulled her closer, enjoying the taste of her mouth and deciding that being locked up in his childhood home wasn't so bad after all. They were just starting to get into it, Matty climbing onto his lap and running her fingers into his hair, when there was a knock at the door.

They groaned into each other's mouths.

"I know you're in there," Remus said. "The others are starting to arrive, and Kingsley's already asked after you, Sirius. Get downstairs. _Now_."

Sirius and Matty got to their feet, smoothing out their hair and straightening their clothes, and Sirius stuck his tongue out at the door, more to make him feel better than anything.

They did go downstairs, though, as Remus had, well, demanded. Kingsley, Emmeline, Molly, Arthur, and Bill had already arrived, sitting at his kitchen table. Matty sat beside Bill and asked Remus to make her some tea.

"Already on it," Remus muttered, waving his wand at the kettle and fishing around for cups.

Sirius sat down beside Matty, lacing his fingers in hers as Kingsley sat down across from him.

"So I'm in London now, am I?" Sirius said in a forced good-natured voice.

"Unfortunately, yes, until I can push through something a bit further away," Kingsley sighed. "We'll talk about it during the meeting, but do me a favor, Sirius, and don't go outside again."

Sirius pouted a bit, but Matty kissed his cheek and he couldn't help but perk up just a bit. At least he had Matty, even if he wasn't allowed in the open air.

Although, it was bound to be different from their time living in the Shrieking Shack. Remus was staying with them, there were portraits everywhere, and they had Order meetings to attend. Things were never allowed to stay pure and beautiful, not even their time in the Shack. Remus had impugned on that, and in the worst of ways.

The other Order members had arrived while Sirius was daydreaming about what he and Matty could do if they had the house to themselves. Mad-Eye called the meeting to order, though, calling Sirius out of his pleasant thoughts.

"I'm sure you all saw the paper this morning," Mad-Eye growled. "First of all, Sturgis."

"We're pretty sure it was an Imperius Curse," Arthur said, clearing his throat and cleaning his glasses. "Tonks informed me that she did a test on him and found all the signs of the curse, but that section of her report was, um, mysteriously _missing_ when his trial came. She thinks there's someone in the Auror office checking all the reports for things that don't support the Minister's view of things, or rather, the views of his more affluent supporters."

Kingsley nodded his affirmation of this suspicion, and Sirius felt his stomach sink.

Affluent supporters. Lucius Malfoy had been with Fudge down by the Department of Mysteries on the day of Harry's trial, Arthur had said. He might have seen something that seemed suspicious to him, might have suspected that it was someone under an invisibility cloak. They weren't fool-proof, Sirius knew. Sturgis might have sneezed. His toe might have been just visible for a brief fraction of a moment. That would be all it would take for Lucius to shoot a quick Imperius Curse or two in that direction, hoping that if his luck was any good he would hit whoever was hiding out.

Apparently, his luck was too good.

"Lucius Malfoy," Sirius spat. "You said he was down there, Arthur. Sturgis was down there that day."

There were nods around the table.

"Well, that means Lucius Malfoy is the root of all our problems at the moment," Kingsley sighed. "I can't say for certain, but I'm fairly sure that the tip that was given about Sirius being in London was from him. He's the only person with enough influence to overturn me who had any reason to be on the platform when you saw the children off. And since we know he's a Death Eater... I'm sorry, Sirius, but this means we have to assume that Peter told them your form. You can't leave the house, even transformed, not for any reason unless you're told otherwise by Dumbledore, all right?"

Sirius didn't like this agreement, but what else could he do?

"As if Matty would let me," Sirius snorted. "But yes, I'll stay in here from now on. I just had to see them off, just the once, you understand."

There were a few nods around the table, including Remus, but there were far more stern looks than sympathetic nods and Sirius did everything he could to bite his tongue.

The fact was, he could have put his little girls in danger, and he felt a fool for that.

The rest of the meeting was a reiteration of what they'd discussed in the last meeting, and Sirius knew that none of it was about him, anyway, so he hardly paid any attention at all. Instead he played with Matty's hand under the table, wondering what Harry was up to, how his girls were. It had been recommended that the girls not write to him, or to reference him in letters, as their mail was probably being watched. He'd told them to talk about him as Snuffles in letters to their mother and Remus, just as he'd had Harry do.

Perhaps they were working on homework, like their Uncle Remus would have been doing, or maybe they were off with Tien and the Weasley twins causing trouble like their father would have done. Or maybe they were brushing each other's hair and giggling about boys like their mother did at their age.

Strangely, he found himself hoping that Remus had influenced them heavily. With this Umbridge at the school, he didn't want his little girls getting into trouble. Snape submitted to Dumbledore when it came to punishing to students, but Umbridge wasn't answerable to anyone but a madman.

No, he would have Matty remind them to stay out of trouble. He didn't want his girls at the mercy of that monster, not if he had anything to say about it.

He barely noticed when the meeting ended and Molly Weasley put food in front of him, but Matty loaded both of their plates.

"Are you all right, Sirius?" Arthur asked good-naturedly. "You've seemed a bit distant."

Sirius blinked at him for a moment before saying, "Oh, I was just thinking about the girls." He sighed, poking his potatoes sullenly. "I miss them."

Arthur nodded knowingly.

"I'm not home most of the time," he said gently. "But when I am at home, my favorite part of the day is always spending time with my children. Sending Bill off the first year was hard, and I told myself that it couldn't get worse than that, but the worst was actually sending away Ginny, and not just because of the Petrifications, but because the house felt so empty without that last child to stay around and greet me when I was home from work."

Sirius blinked.

"I'm sorry, _Petrifications_?"

Matty shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. Molly's eyes flashed.

"Erm, yes," Matty finally said nervously. "The year before you broke out the Chamber of Secrets was opened and, oh, half a dozen or so Muggleborns were Petrified by the beast before Harry and Ron put a stop to it."

Sirius hadn't spent a lot of time properly considering how much risk a parent was making, sending a child to Hogwarts. It was a dangerous place to be a student, between the staircases changing at random with over a hundred foot drop from the foot of the highest one to the floor of the entrance hall, to the Whomping Willow, and that was just the standard issues. During his own time at school most of the dangers had to do with Remus's condition or the war in some way, but now it seemed there was no shortage of dangers at Hogwarts, even without including the war.

But what else could he do? His girls had to go to school, they had to learn somewhere, and they wouldn't learn properly just from him and Matty and Remus, although it would be better than most home-educated witches and wizards in England would get.

"Well," Sirius said stiffly, trying to find a way to change the topic, "how's work, Arthur?"

Arthur went on a long rant about the vomiting toilets across the country and what a stress it had been on his workload, and that he hoped they were closer to catching the culprit because it was cutting into his ability to do work for the Order.

Sirius nodded and made sounds of agreement occasionally, but he was mostly watching Matty out of the corner of his eye as she helped Molly clean the kitchen and set out tea for those who were staying a bit longer. She was tired, and he couldn't help but feel guilty that he had been able to see the girls off and she hadn't, especially because Dumbledore hadn't let her pick the girls up from King's Cross, either.

Dumbledore had gotten back into the habit of telling them what to do, what was best, how to live their lives, even though they were full grown and well past their years as students at his school. They were no longer the naive children they'd been during the first war, believing that if they followed Dumbledore, everything would turn out right.

When Matty and Sirius crawled into bed that night, he felt old.

They weren't the ones who were really going to fight the war. That would be Harry and his friends, the Weasley children and their friends, and if things were really bad for too long, his daughters and their friends. Sirius, Matty, Arthur, Remus, Kingsley... They were just placeholders while the real soldiers finished school and the stage set itself for their playing. Sirius was a veteran, not a soldier.

And he turned away from Matty and wanted to cry or vomit or something, there was such a pain in his chest and stomach at the thought of it all.

"Sirius?" she whispered. "What's wrong?"

At first, he didn't answer her, trying to think of a way to put into words the way he felt, the fears that plagued him, the fury and terror and exhaustion that were constantly in the back of his mind but had suddenly broken to the forefront with such vigor that he felt entirely under attack.

Finally, he said, "I feel sick and old and tired and helpless and I hate it. I hate all of it. And that just makes it all worse."

Matty was silent for a moment, chewing on his words, reading into them whatever she wanted to about his behavior and disposition since the girls had left. Finally, she put her small hand on his arm, scooting her body closer to his back.

"You're right. We're getting older. We're not the young ones anymore, and there's not anything we can do about that, but we still have things we can do, even from here."

That wasn't what he'd wanted her to say.

"Don't you feel used?" he spat, not turning to face her. "Don't you feel like Dumbledore took our youth from us and is taking what usefulness we have away by locking us here in this - this hell?"

"Sometimes," she whispered, kissing his shoulder blade in the dark. "But then I remember that there is no one in all the world who knows better how to deal with this threat than Dumbledore, that we signed over our youths willingly for the promise of adventure and delivering justice, and that we're locked in here not because of Dumbledore, but because of the Death Eaters. It's not his fault, Sirius. I know it feels like it sometimes, but he's not our enemy."

Sirius knew she was right, but it still felt easier to blame Dumbledore, so he just turned over, kissed her lips firmly, and whispered, "Good night, love." He then wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come so he didn't have to be fully aware that Matty was still wide awake, watching him in the dark with worried eyes and thoughtfully drawn lips.

She was scared for him, and maybe she should be, but Sirius found that this concern made him feel even smaller, and adding that to his other swirling emotions made him feel even sicker than before.


	23. The Building Storm

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**lizaluvsdoggies**_** (whose username I screwed up last chapter I APOLOGIZE DEAR), whose review gave me the kick in the pants necessary to get this chapter up and running, so THANK YOU LIZA. She kicked me through this whole chapter and she's just finished exams, so this is a well-deserved reward for all her torture!**

** -C**

The letter from Harry had seemed urgent, and maybe in a way it was, but Sirius wasn't sure, after talking with the trio, that it had really been of as much urgency as Sirius had talked himself into thinking it was. But anything to get out of the monotony of cleaning and just being at Grimmauld Place.

Technically, it wasn't leaving the house.

Technically, only his head went through to Hogwarts. The rest of him was still in Grimmauld Place.

Did that count as leaving the house?

_No_...

But the look Matty gave him when he got back said it did. She wasn't impressed, she wasn't pleased, but she _was_ immensely curious to hear all of the conversation.

"All right, all right," Sirius sighed, sitting down on the bed decide her after she pestered him about it for a full twenty minutes. "He told me a bit about Umbridge. She's not teaching them any magic."

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Matty squawked angrily. "She's not teaching them _Defense Against the Dark Arts_? She does realize the importance of defensive spells, yes?"

"Apparently not," Sirius replied glumly. "Anyway, he was worried because his scar hurt when she touched him and he thought maybe she was possessed. I'll have to mention it to someone, probably Albus. It's probably a coincidence, but if it's not they've got to be prepared."

Matty nodded, cuddling up against him.

"What else did you talk about?"

"We talked briefly about this boy who was writing our girls," Sirius said darkly. "Colin Creevey, Harry said his name was. He's a year older than the twins. Hermione assures me that he's a very nice boy, but Ron and Harry say he's a bit... over the top. Apparently he followed Harry around with a camera for his whole first year."

"Creevey," Matty said thoughtfully, pursing her lips together. "I don't know anyone who married someone by that name... Muggleborn?"

Sirius nodded, still trying to decide what he thought of this boys' interest in his little girl. Of course, they were getting less and less little all the time. And from the sound of things the boy had devotion in spade, and Sirius knew for a fact that devotion was hard to shake off.

Matty's father had tried and failed.

Sirius didn't want a repeat of that, knowing now the heart attacks he must have nearly caused Mr. Clondon, stealing her away in the middle of the night on his motorbike, constantly getting notes sent home about her various detentions and how she'd been caught with Sirius in some remote part of the castle in the middle of the night. Mr. Clondon had never forgiven Sirius for Matty joining the Order, and they'd not even been out of school a year when the man had died of some illness or another.

The following morning found Sirius shifting in his seat as he looked at the cover of the paper and saw Dolores Umbridge's ugly face staring up at him.

This was it, the something that Harry had been asking about, the something none of them had seen coming: Educational Decree # 23.

"Hogwarts High Inquisitor," Matty read over his shoulder, frowning. "What in Merlin's name does that even mean?"

"It means," Remus said, clearing his throat, "that she has the power to inspect and dismiss professors without Dumbledore's input or consent."

Matty blinked.

"Seriously? That's what it means?"

Sirius glanced over the article once more and then said, "Yes, darling, that is most certainly what it means." He sighed. "Who do you think is going first?"

Remus shrugged.

"Hagrid's not back yet, or I would say probably him," he said in a low voice. They were all more than a little anxious that they hadn't heard from Hagrid since the last time Olympe Maxime contacted them, and that barely counted at all. Dumbledore seemed satisfied, but even the more calm and collected members of the Order were beginning to feel uneasy about the whole affair.

"Flitwick, maybe?" Matty offered nervously. "He's part something not-human, isn't he?"

Sirius nodded.

"I don't remember what," he said with a shrug. "Goblin or elf or something, but it was the reason he was short, I remember. Feel lucky you're not teaching this year, Mooney?"

"If I were teaching this year, I'd be the first one fired," Remus said humorlessly, although Sirius and Matty knew him well enough to know that he was making a joke of sorts. "I suppose this is really going to hinder the learning process."

Sirius sighed.

"I knew I should have insisted we teach the girls here," Sirius grumbled. "Now they're not going to learn anything useful."

"Oh, so Transfiguration was completely useless?" Matty teased. "Sirius, they're just children. They'll have plenty of time to learn defense. And if the curse holds still, she'll be gone by the end of the year, anyway."

Sirius's lips twitched into a bit of a smile at that. The thought that the toad might leave in some terrible way was appealing to him, especially as her efforts had made it particularly hard for Remus, for whom life was already quite difficult.

"I suppose I could live with that," Sirius agreed. "But they're not really children, you know."

Matty did not answer. It was a painful fact for both of them, and from Remus's eyes, for Remus as well, that the girls would be more involved in the war than any of the adults wanted to think about. It wasn't just Harry's age group that would be drawn in, and it was even possible that the war wouldn't yet be over when the girls came of age.

That had been the way of things when the three of them had been that age, of course. Sirius and James had sworn up and down that they would fight in the war, and they had been right.

It was the first week in October when the girls' letters weren't the only source of news about what they were up to.

"A Defense group?" Matty laughed when Mundungus told them about it during the meeting. "That's brilliant!"

"They need to be more careful," Molly disagreed. "This is the last thing they need to be doing with that woman teaching. They shouldn't be learning how to fight anyway, they're only children!"

"So were we," Sirius said darkly, thinking about the fact that his daughters would most certainly be joining the group, although they hadn't been old enough to go to Hogsmeade and attend the meeting. "Matty and Remus and me and all the others in our class who went on to fight in the war. About half our class fought on one side or the other, and we knew when we were children that we were going to be fighting in it, and I'm damn glad that we took the time to learn how to defend ourselves, because you know the children of the other side are being trained to kill."

Sirius saw Matty shudder slightly, but she said nothing.

In fact, no one said anything at all for a long moment, and then Remus said, "Well, what are we going to do about this?"

More silence, although Sirius knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to talk to his godson, and maybe his little girls. He was going to encourage the idea, because the thing that scared him more than anything was his girls getting involved in the war without proper training, and they _would_ get involved. Especially Merryn. It was in their blood, just like it was in Harry's.

And after a few moments, he said just that.

"I'm writing to Harry anyway. I'll just arrange to meet him in the common room fire like I did before, and I'll talk with him about it," Sirius said with a shrug.

"You tell Ron," Molly said firmly, "that he is in no way allowed to join this group, and if he does we're going to drag him straight home!"

"Of course," Sirius said tersely.

"And while I recognize that I can't make Hermione or Harry do anything," Molly sniffed, "I'd advise them to forget about this foolishness as well."

"Duly noted," Sirius sighed.

The rest of the meeting was not related to anything Sirius was allowed to do, mostly related to the prophecy, so he began drafting the letter in his head, and wanted to be sure that Harry knew he wanted his girls present, as he hadn't seen them since he saw them off at King's Cross. At the rate they were growing up, they probably looked like grown women already.

Molly made dinner, and the food was fine, but Sirius wasn't very hungry. He was too excited to get to see Harry and his girls that the food barely tasted at all as he swallowed it down.

The letter was easy enough to write, Sirius found, telling Harry that it would be the same place and time, but on Monday, and that he expected the five of them there.

"He'll know that means the girls," Matty assured him. "Who else would the other two be?"

She was right, of course, Sirius was sure, and so he sent the letter off with Hedwig and waited impatiently for Monday to come.

"Is it Monday yet?" Sirius groaned Saturday morning, but Matty just smacked him, groaning and rolling over into his chest.

"If you're going to be a child about it, I'm going to talk with them in your place," she muttered sleepily.

"But I don't know what to do with myself while I wait," Sirius whined. "I'm going to be so bored."

Matty lifted her pretty little blonde head off his chest and frowned at him.

"What the fuck do you think I'm here for?" she said, clearly offended.

With a grin, Sirius leaned up and pressed his lips to hers, savoring the feel of her lips on his and her body pressed against him. How could he have forgotten his favorite pastime?

Her hands ran through his hair as she turned him onto his back and straddled his stomach. He growled slightly in his throat, pulling her closer by the neck and nibbling on her lip, feeling her move down so that their hips were matched and being to grind against him. He'd woken up half-way hard anyway, but she was quickly driving him crazy.

"Keep that up and you won't get it," he groaned, throwing his head back as she kissed his neck.

Matty gave a throaty laugh and slowed her grinding motions, and Sirius couldn't decide if it was better or worse.

After twenty minutes of making out and rolling around in the sheets like they were teenagers again, Sirius rolled Matty underneath him and took her breast in his mouth, plunging inside her in a single thrust. Matty cried out, digging her fingernails into his back. He moaned into her breast as she dug in, moving with him as he worked in and out of her eagerly. He'd not given her nearly as much foreplay as he typically liked, but one could never tell anymore when Mooney would come calling after them and interrupting playtime.

Remus didn't interrupt, though, and they finished very nearly together and then collapsed in the sweaty sheets, just holding each other for another hour before showering and going down for a late breakfast. Remus said nothing about their lateness, but Sirius could tell by the tightness of Remus's lips that their friend knew exactly what they had been up to.

He would always be jealous, Sirius supposed.

Monday didn't come as quickly as Sirius would have liked, but it came soon enough, as Matty kept telling him it would, and when midnight came, Sirius was poised and ready for his head to pay a visit to the Gryffindor common room.

The familiar feeling of his head spinning and sore knees was compensated for when Gryffindor common room came into view with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Merryn, Maëlle, and Tien crowded around the fireplace.

"Sirius!" Hermione squeaked excitedly.

"Hi, Mr. Black!" Tien said excitedly, crossing her legs and leaning forward. "It's nice to meet you in human form!"

"Or at least, partly," Sirius said with a grin. "You as well, Tien, but call me Sirius. Mr. Black was my father."

"You said you wanted to talk with us," Harry said, also leaning forward slightly. "Tien insisted on joining us when she found out what we were doing."

"She's welcome any time," Sirius said kindly.

"Umbridge is terrible," Harry said sullenly, looking down at a copy of the paper that was nearby on the floor. "She's banned all student organizations which means no Quidditch-"

"Or secret defense groups?" Sirius said, grinning. They all looked up at him, surprised. "You should really pick better places to meet."

"Well, the Hog's Head was better than the Three Broomsticks," Hermione said indignantly. "It's always packed with people."

"Which means you're less likely to be overheard, Hermione," Sirius said patiently. "We had someone in the pub."

"What for?" Harry asked defensively.

Watching Harry was what for, but Sirius knew that Harry wouldn't want to know that. He smiled slightly and said, "Order business. It was Dung, and he heard everything. I'm supposed to pass a message to Ron. I promised Molly."

"Right," Ron said nervously.

Sirius cleared his throat.

"Under no circumstances are you to join any illegal defense group. You should focus on your studies and not cause trouble. She also recognizes that she cannot tell Hermione or Harry what to do, but she advises you to abandon the idea as well."

Ron looked instantly sullen, and the twins exchanged glances with Tien, all looking horrified at the thought of Harry abandoning the idea.

"What do you think?" Harry asked.

"I think it's a great idea!" Sirius insisted. "Someone's got to teach you all to defend yourselves. Have you decided where you're going to meet yet?"

"Actually, we've been having a bit of trouble with that," Hermione sighed. "We thought about the Shrieking Shack, but it would be difficult getting down there unnoticed, and there's about thirty of us, so..."

"Right," Sirius said with a frown. "Well, if I remember right there's a secret passage behind the mirror on the fourth floor that's quite roomy."

"George and Fred say it's caved in," Harry said. "So we can't use that."

It was so frustrating. Sirius frowned, trying to think of where else they might meet, some other place they could stay hidden from Filch and Umbridge and the like. He'd never had these problems, but then he'd never had to find places for thirty people to practice dueling and hide from the professors. If they'd wanted somewhere to practice for classes, all they would have to do was ask a professor to borrow their classroom in the evenings. And Sirius hadn't ever done that.

"Well," he sighed, "I'll keep thinking on it and-"

He froze. Something... some sound... It wasn't Grimmauld Place, though, it was coming in from somewhere else in the Floo Network. He turned his head and saw a hand with stubby fingers reaching for him, reaching for his hair, trying to pull him into their grate. Sirius knew he didn't have much time to get away so he pulled back into Grimmauld Place instinctively, eager to get to safety, not wanting to be a captive once more. For although he didn't recognize the fingers he had a pretty good guess as to who they belonged to.

"Sirius, are you all right?" Matty asked from behind him, her voice filled with concern as she made her way to him, wrapping her arms around him. "You look pale."

"I think Umbridge nearly caught me," he admitted, kissing her cheek. "And I had to leave so quickly that I didn't even get to tell the girls that I loved them."

"They already know," she assured him. "They'd rather you stayed safe."

"I know," he sighed, kissing her lips softly. "I guess we're not going to be able to talk with them this way again."

Matty sighed, running her fingers gently through his hair.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Did they look happy?"

"They always look happy when I'm there," he said with a sad smile, remembering how their beautiful faces lit up when he appeared. "I just wish that I could be with them all the time, to make sure they're always happy."

Matty giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his forehead.

"Don't let Mooney catch you talking like that or he'll think you're going to take off and go after them."

Sirius sighed, leaning his head back against her chest and shaking it slightly.

"As much as I love the sound of that idea, I can't," he muttered, turning his head slightly to nuzzle against her breast through her shirt. "It's too much of a risk, and I'm not taking a risk that puts my little girls in danger, not if I can help it."

She smiled at him, kissing his forehead.

"I'm glad," she whispers. "Sounds like you're slowly growing up, then, bit by bit. Remus will be so proud."

"Remus has nothing to do with it," Sirius pouted. "I want to know my daughters are safe."

Matty gave him a long, lingering kiss and he felt himself slowly forgetting his guilt at not telling the girls that he loved them. He would have to be paternalistic more often if it got him rewards like this.

Just when her hands were working up his shirt, her nails scratching his skin, Remus's footsteps and voice intruded on Sirius's bubble of happiness once more, asking after his socks.

Matty sighed.

"I'm darning them, Remus," she muttered, pulling away from Sirius's pouting lips.

No apologetic look from her silver eyes could take away the pain that another interruption from Remus caused.


	24. Kiss, Kiss

News reached them not quite a month later that Hagrid had returned to England, and looking a bit worse for the wear.

"Do you think he got beat up by some giants?" Matty asked, rolling diced onions and ground beef into the dough she'd just rolled and putting it in the pan she had out.

"Probably if he did he'd be dead," Sirius said with a shrug. "What are you even making?"

"No idea," she said happily. "We're going to find out; it seemed like a good idea."

"Just make sure you cook the beef long enough," he cautioned. "I'd rather not get sick because you decided to be adventurous."

Matty rolled her eyes, as if that had never happened before, but Sirius knew it had, many times, when she'd been trying to be domestic when they were young. For some reason, in Matty's mind, being domestic meant her coming up with new recipes for stuff, which sometimes were amazing, sometimes tasted terribly, and sometimes posed a real health risk. It never really could be anything in between.

"I think we've got enough leftovers from Molly to last us a month, Matty," Remus said with a smirk, sitting down at the kitchen table. "You really don't need to cook."

"I'm baking," Matty snarled. "That's what it's called when you use dough."

Sirius thought it actually had to do with using an oven, which she wasn't doing for whatever reason, but sticking it on the stove and poking it with her wand to check the temperature. But then, Sirius had never been very good at making food, so he wasn't about to argue with her or she might stop cooking for them altogether, which would certainly not be a good thing for him and Remus.

"I'm sure it will be lovely, dear," he said softly, wondering if he was going to regret those words later.

As they ate the surprisingly edible thing that Matty had made, they continued to discuss Hagrid's re-arrival.

"So if it's not the giants, do you think he ran afoul of the Death Eaters?" Matty asked, covering her concoction with minced garlic.

"After they already stole the giants from him?" Remus asked, pouring them all tea. "I honestly doubt it. What purpose would they have in going after a lone half-giant? Madame Maxime would have left him by that point."

Sirius shrugged, reaching for the garlic to add extra to his portion. Matty gave him a look, but he really didn't care. He wanted garlic.

"I guess we'll not know until Hagrid or Dumbledore tell us," Sirius sighed. "Can we not talk about work while we're eating? It gives me indigestion."

More like it made him sick with anxiety for the girls and Harry and made him sick with fury at his own inadequacy for the war effort. But he was able to change the topic of conversation to Quidditch and for a little while it was like he and Matty were a married couple with their best friend over for dinner.

It was more than a month later when their lives got even remotely interesting again. Remus had been out of the house more often than not, working on various things for the Order, and Sirius and Matty had been taking advantage of the time alone every chance they could get. They had just finished making love and were getting a cup of tea in the kitchen when Matty heard something.

"One of the portraits is calling for you," Matty said, confused. "Why would a portrait be calling out your name?"

"Shit," Sirius groaned. "Shit, Dumbledore's getting ahold of me. Stay here, I'll go check it out, maybe get us clothes."

He rushed upstairs to find Phineas Nigellus in the drawing room, blinking at him before sneering.

"Arthur Weasley has been attacked by a snake and his children and Harry Potter are coming here, if that's quite all right. Although, I would suggest putting on pants at the very least."

"Noted," Sirius snapped. "We'd be delighted. Tell them to meet us in the kitchen and I'll get clothes on, if that suits you."

Phineas disappeared, presumably into his other portrait, and Sirius ran as fast as he could to get clothes for himself and Matty to pull on.

"Put these on now," Sirius commanded, pulling on his own clothes frantically. "Weasleys and Harry are coming. Arthur was bitten by a snake on duty, I assume he's at St. Mungo's. Clothes, Matty, now!"

Matty began pulling on clothes and had just pulled the shirt he'd handed her on over her head when the portkey arrived and Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George were suddenly in the kitchen and Sirius had to deal with the stresses of the Weasleys and Harry's insecurities and Matty was running around getting tea and butterbeer and trying to keep calm like mothers do.

Sirius could feel his heart pounding in his chest the whole night, unsure of what was going to happen, feeling both disappointed that he wouldn't get his lovely family holiday with just Matty and the girls and thrilled that there were people around, especially Harry, to take that sort of pressure off and make him feel like he wasn't necessarily doing everything wrong. Matty wouldn't be watching his every move and grading his fatherly-ness because he wouldn't just be interacting as a father. So it was both a relief and an annoyance.

Watching her calming the Weasleys and keep a close eye on Harry, even when Molly arrived and the tensest part of the waiting was over, Sirius couldn't help but feel incredibly attracted to this motherly quality about her. As everyone was going off to go to sleep before they had to get up at get breakfast, Sirius found himself less tired than he thought he would be, following Matty up the stairs and into their bedroom, watching her pull off the clothes she had so hastily pulled on not so long ago. He bit his lip and tried not to just push her onto the bed then and there.

"Matty," he whispered huskily, and she turned to look at him, surely able to see the hunger in his eyes. He had thought that she looked a bit tired at first, but when she touched his chest gently he realized she'd woken up, perhaps because she too was somehow aroused. She used to say that the way he looked at her when he wanted her turned her on, but he'd never seen it displayed so obviously.

"Yes, Sirius," she whispered, her lips lingering very close to his lips.

Sirius tried to think of words, but none were coming to mind, so instead he pushed her onto the bed, moaning slightly and helping her as she began eagerly removing the clothes that he had so hastily pulled on when Phineas Nigellus interrupted their night alone together.

Peeling off the clothing was one thing, but Sirius found himself even more aroused by the feel of her skin against his, smooth and yielding to his touch as he explored every bit of her, every inch that he knew so well. He could hardly believe she had managed to stay so beautiful for so long.

She tangled her fingers up in his hair and threw her head back as his mouth explored the familiar contours of her graceful neck. Her pale, beautiful, delicious neck that was his, all his. He could hardly believe he had actually survived without her so long, especially in Azkaban where all their beautiful memories were blocked from him, all the wonderful memories of kissing her neck just as he was in that very moment and the way she sighed when he nipped at her collarbone.

Matty turned them over, rolling on top of him and squeezing his waist with her thighs. Sirius arched his back slightly, grinding into her, trying to increase the friction between their bodies, making sure she knew exactly how much he needed her.

"Unh, you're so hard," she moaned, grinding back into him, running her nails down his chest and abdomen as she threw back her head.

"Just for you, love," he groaned, gritting his teeth together and trying not to lose control. He wanted to enjoy this, as it would probably be their last time to really enjoy sinfully good sex for at least a month.

Matty gasped.

"Inside," she managed to spit out, moving so that he could position himself so that she could lower herself onto him.

He growled at the feel of her, warm and wet, squeezing onto him as he began thrusting in and out as best he could, animalistic, not with any coherent thought as she bounced up and down on top of him. He thought he might be digging his fingernails into her hips, but whether she was crying out from that or from the fact that she was spasming around him, coming violently, he really couldn't tell. After all, he was nearing his own peak, letting go with a cry.

Sirius rolled her over so that they were facing each other, lying on their sides, her legs wrapped around his waist and his cock buried inside of her still. She gave him a sated look, kissing his lips gently.

"Well at least I got one pleasant surprise today," she teased against his lips, running her fingers through his hair. "I love you."

"I love you too," he sighed. "But this is going to be a rough Christmas."

She shrugged.

"I think we've both had rougher," she said gently, and he nodded.

Even not considering all of the years he was in Azkaban and she was alone, they'd had some rough Christmases, even together. For one thing, news of Caradoc's disappearance had reached Matty on Christmas during the first war. Sirius had never felt so helpless, just holding Matty as she sobbed and panicked and begged Dumbledore to do something, to find him, or to at least find a body so she could have closure. When Dumbledore told her that there was nothing more he could do, Sirius recalled that Matty didn't say a word for a week, barely even responding to anything anyone said to her.

She was right; they'd had rougher Christmases for sure.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing her nose. "I love you so, so much. You know that, right?"

"Yes," she sighed, kissing his lips gently. "I love you too, Sirius. I suppose the girls will be coming here soon, won't they?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling in spite of himself. "A few days. I hope they haven't grown another foot since they were last here."

"I doubt they'll be that tall," she laughed. "Between the two of us, you know, they didn't get the genes of any sort of giant. I think they might grow a few more inches, but that's about it."

Sirius laughed, trying to picture his girls being very tall, like Hagrid. Having them growing up so fast was terrifying enough, he decided. The last thing he needed was for them to grow up so tall as well.

"Do you think they'll be happy here?" he asked softly. "I mean, they're with their friends now, and-"

"And you're their father, who they adore," Matty said, rolling her eyes at him. "Plus, they're very good friends with Ginny and Fred and George. They've got friends here, too, don't forget."

"I suppose that's true," he said with a sigh of relief. "I worry too much." Matty kissed his nose sweetly and he allowed himself to curl up with his arms around her and relax. Molly was back in the house so there would be no need for him to think about meals. The girls were coming soon. Harry was asleep for the time being and Arthur was in the best hands they could get him into.

Anything that needed to be worried about could be worried about in the morning was Sirius's last thought as he allowed sleep to drift up and take him.

The next afternoon, two days after Sirius and Matty had taken in Harry and the Weasleys, Sirius answered the door to find Merryn, Maëlle, and Hermione Granger standing on the steps.

"Oh!" he said, getting attacked by his girls who swooped in for a vigorous hug that nearly knocked him clean of his feat. "Hermione, I didn't know you were coming! The boys said you were going skiing or something!"

"Not my thing," she said with a sad smile. "I figured they would need me more, so I make excuses of homework with my parents and worked out with Dumbledore to come here instead."

"Well, we're glad to have you," Matty said with her own glowing smile, standing behind Sirius, where he could have sworn she hadn't been a moment before. "You'll be staying with Ginny, the same room you were in over the summer. She and Ron and up there right now, actually, talking over something. Seems important, maybe you ought to weigh in. Come on, now, girls, let's get you all caught up with your father."

Hermione went upstairs and Sirius took the girls down to the kitchen, were Molly was working on dinner.

"Oh, girls!" Molly said happily, giving them each a hug. "How was your journey?"

"It was great!" Merryn said happily. "We got to ride the Knight Bus."

"Yeah, Hermione looked like she was going to be sick," Maëlle said solemnly, although Sirius got the sense that she was giggling inwardly, just below her serious surface, just as her mother had so often done when they were young.

"Oh, Hermione's here too?" Molly said, surprised. "No one told me!"

"Nor me," Sirius said with a shrug. "But she showed up with the twins. I sent her up to see Ron and Ginny. She's well-fed, Molly, she's been at Hogwarts."

Molly pursed her lips, obviously wanted to say that there was no way that she could possibly be well-fed enough, but then Merryn sat down at the table and said, "Is Mr. Weasley doing all right, Mrs. Weasley?" in the sweet voice that she usually reserved for her father when she wanted something and Molly forgot all about Hermione's eating habits and melted.

"Oh, he's going to be all right if they can find a way to close the wound, dear," she sighed. "They've got experts working on it, and I'm sure they'll come up with something soon."

"I'm sure he'll be better soon, Mrs. Weasley," Maëlle said sweetly.

"I hope so, Elle, dear," Molly said gently. "Well, I ought to leave you four to catch up before dinner. I really ought to check on the twins, make sure they're not blowing up any of your furniture."

Sirius snorted.

"Let them," he said as she made her way up the stairs. "Tell them I won't mind if they blow it all up, gives me an excuse to get something that doesn't make everyone think of death and decay."

Molly tutted, but she continued to retreat the kitchen, so Sirius didn't care.

"So," Matty said casually, starting a kettle for tea, "tell us about Colin."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. Were they allowed to ask about him so bluntly?

Apparently they were, because Merryn's only widened slightly and Maëlle started to giggle.

"What is it?" Sirius asked. "What's so funny, Elle?"

"He kissed Merryn!"

"He did not!" Merryn shrieked turning bright pink. "I mean... Well, there was mistletoe. What was he supposed to do? Anyway, it wasn't really a kiss it was more of a... a..."

"Kiss," Maëlle teased.

Matty was smiling, watching the girls arguing over whether a kiss was actually a kiss if there was mistletoe involved, but Sirius was stunned.

His little girl had had her first kiss.

Maybe that would seem to be adorable to the females in the room, but Sirius remembered very much what it was like as a teenage boy, and how short of a period of time it took to get from his first kiss with a girl to sneaking her off to his bed while everyone else was in class and making her scream his name.

And as he knew now from the fact that Matty had given him two of them, even careful people could end up with children that way.

And if Merryn was as much like him as he thought she was, she didn't have enough careful bones in her body to make him sleep peacefully at night now that he knew her lips had touched the lips of a teenaged boy.

When the teasing ceased he outwardly was able to talk to the girls about school, dresses, and the silly things Tien did to the other girls in their dormitory as a part of that rivalry thing that roommates often did at Hogwarts. But he couldn't stop thinking about how terrible this boy must be.

That night after Sirius had tucked the girls into bed and climbed under the covers with Matty, he tried to put it out of his mind for the night, but this time it wasn't him that kept him from doing so.

"You're out of sorts, Sirius," Matty whispered, tracing shapes on his chest with her soft fingertips. "You've been off since the girls got here. What's bothering you, darling?"

"I guess I'm just not sure what to do with myself now that they're here finally," he lied, but Matty didn't buy it.

"It's the kiss, isn't it?" she asked. "You're worried that Merryn's growing up too fast?"

"Both of them," Sirius admitted with a sigh. "Were we growing up so fast at that age?"

"Yes," Matty giggled. "Faster, I think. You have to remember, Sirius, they're growing up in a war, just like we were. They're training to be soldiers."

"And they'll be pregnant right out of school and dead before thirty," he whispered. "Just like everyone we knew."

"Not if we win this war for them," Matty said firmly, kissing his lips. "Right?"

"Right," Sirius said.

And she was right. His daughters didn't have to be like him and her and all their friends. Not if the adults responsible for them could end the war for them.


	25. Grown Up Too Fast

Christmas morning came before Sirius realized it and he awoke to the twins hopping onto the food of Matty and his bed.

He jerked awake, sitting straight up, scrambling for his wand when he felt Matty pulling up the covers to cover herself. When he realized it was the girls he blinked with surprise and embarrassment that their children had just caught them naked and in bed together.

Sure, they'd been sleeping, but the girls had to know what they'd been doing the night before.

Merryn snorted, however, lightening the mood and worrying her father that much more.

"Relax, Daddy. We knew you two were having sex. We do know how we got here, you know."

Matty could laugh all she wanted about it, but Sirius was having a hard time finding the humor in his daughter saying any of those things to him.

Still, it was Christmas morning and Sirius was still a child at heart, so when Maëlle passed his and Matty's presents up to him he put his horror at the situation aside and started ripping at wrapping.

He didn't get too many presents. The girls got him something, as well as the Weasley twins, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Matty, Remus, and Arthur and Molly (which meant Arthur probably made her put him on her list).

The Weasleys gift was homemade sweets, which he couldn't argue with at all. Ron had given him sweets as well, and Fred and George had given him some free samples of some of their joke products, which he had to admit were top notch. Hermione had given him a book on motorbikes thorough the decades and a very unsubtle hint at a parenting book for wizards. The girl had spunk, if nothing else. Harry had gotten him some sweets, some Zonko's classic products to reminisce with, and a book of the most modern advances in spellwork, to cover the time since Sirius had been imprisoned.

Matty had salvaged some of their old love letters and made a scrapbook of them, with some pictures from their school days, which Sirius couldn't help but want to look over for hours. He moved on to Remus's gift, though, which was a large bottle of firewhiskey.

Sure, it wasn't very personal, but things were sometimes very tense between Sirius and Remus, and Sirius had given his friend exactly the same gift, so they knew each other well, at the very least.

"Oh, Daddy, it's perfect!" Maëlle squealed. "Thanks Daddy, Mum!" She leaned over the gifts and parcels to kiss both of her parents as thanks for the brooms he'd gotten them as well as the deluxe set of quills, inks, and a leather-bound parchment journal Matty had insisted would be perfect for their studious daughter.

"Yes, thanks Mum, Daddy!" Merryn said happily, standing to hold up the black party dress up for approval.

Sirius had picked it out himself, knowing it would look beautiful on her, with Matty's approval, but with the knowledge that she had a boy after her affections he was second-guessing his decision. Matty passed the pumps she'd picked out over to Merryn, who slipped them on her feet and then pulled the dress on over her pajamas, twirling experimentally.

She was practically a woman, and Sirius found that notion absolutely terrifying. He was right, though, she looked beautiful, just like her mother used to in similar types of dresses with similar shoes... Just like his cousin always had in black dresses. He swallowed back a lump in his throat.

The girls could act so young sometimes, especially around him, but there were moments like this when he realized that they weren't little girls anymore and he would never get those years back.

The twins had also gotten dresses that the Weasley twins had bought them both (which Sirius wasn't sure how he felt about, but then, they'd always seemed more friends than having any sort of romantic anything between them), which the girls then pulled on over their pajamas for their parents approval.

Merryn's was baby blue, which set off her gray Black eyes and her pale skin, and was a very classic, classy cut, which was nice. Sirius didn't like the idea of her showing skin to anyone.

Maëlle's was a pale lavender, also good with her coloring, and a similar cut, although the neckline on Merryn's was more square and Maëlle's was rounded.

Sirius had to admit, those twins had very good taste in clothes.

"Beautiful," Matty sighed. "You look like beautiful young women. Why don't you go put your gifts with your things, thank people for them - especially Fred and George, and you can change so we can all go down for breakfast."

Sirius sighed, watching them go off, far too excited, but they were young enough to be excited by little things.

"We'll have a lot of time with them alone today, Sirius," Matty whispered. "They're going to see Arthur in the hospital today and the girls decided to stay here with you."

"They should have gone," he whispered.

"Arthur's not their father," she pointed out. "They want all the time they can get with you, darling." She smiled. "That dress was the perfect choice, by the way. You've always had a knack for that."

He groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow.

"I know. It looked too good on her. She'll be getting so many kisses now."

Matty just laughed, kissed him, and climbed out of bed stretching, searching for something to wear. He didn't want to leave that room, didn't want to have to see his daughters all dressed up for Christmas like the young women they were, but he dressed anyway and followed Matty downstairs in her own black party dress, which he realized was remarkably similar to the one he'd gotten for their daughter.

Hmm.

She could say it was his sense of taste all she wanted, but Sirius had been trained well, it seemed, and he knew that if James could be there he'd be laughing about how whipped Sirius had become.

When the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione had taken off with their Order escort to visit Arthur in St. Mungo's, Sirius and his family settled in the sitting room for snacks and to talk about the girls' time at Hogwarts.

"And then he gave her detention," Merryn giggled. "I might get more detentions than Elle, but I swear, she gets twice as many from Snape."

"I do not," Maëlle objected, but Sirius had to agree with Merryn. Something about Maëlle seemed to drive Snape up the wall to the point of being more unreasonable with her than any other student, even Harry. "And anyway, if he wanted us to use the footnotes he should have said so. Nobody ever reads footnotes. He ought to know that. I wasn't the only one who ignored them."

"Yes, you were," Merryn pointed out. "That's why your cauldron was the only one that blew bubbles."

They all laughed, even Maëlle.

Sirius had to admit, while not much got Maëlle really riled up, Snape was capable of it, and when she was mad about something she could be just as much of a bitch as her mother, and twice as sassy. And Snivellus didn't take well to sass.

"I feel like my potion did that, when I was in school," Matty said thoughtfully. "Do you remember that?"

He frowned for a moment, trying to think. He did vaguely recall that someone did make bubbles, but he had been fairly certain that it had been Mary MacDonald.

But then, Sirius hadn't really been paying much attention in third year potions, and especially not to the girls. He would focus on nicking ingredients for pranks and on making the other Marauders laugh, and that was about it.

"I think so, love," he lied. "It's been a long time."

"That it has," she sighed, taking his hand in hers, which made the girls giggle a bit. "So, how's the defense group you're doing?"

"The D.A.?" Merryn asked. "Great. Harry's a really good teacher, and it's good to get to practice things, although I wish we could meet more often. It's tough with everybody's Quidditch schedules and stuff. It's like half our members are Quidditch players."

"Colin's not a Quidditch player," Maëlle teased, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

Sirius gripped Matty's hand a bit tighter and she smiled, knowingly.

"Tell us about this Colin," Matty said with a grin at the girls. "We don't know very much about him at all, but he seems to be someone you spend a fair amount of time with."

"He's Muggleborn," Merryn muttered, turning pinker by the second. "Gryffindor."

But they knew all that.

"He likes to take pictures," Maëlle said, stirring her tea.

Sirius choked on his own tongue and the girls turned to him, confused.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" he asked.

"He likes photography," Merryn said, befuddled by his reaction. "He's got a really nice camera and he likes to take pictures, especially at the Quidditch matches. He'd not seen moving pictures before Hogwarts, you know." She paused. "What did you think she said?"

"Nothing," he said, a bit too quickly.

Sure, it was probably nothing, but the idea of his daughter dating a boy who was skilled at photography was not the top of Sirius's list. In fact, it was much closer to the bottom than most things. Still, Matty's amusement told him he was alone in this estimation, so he tried to be a bit more open about the boy.

"He's got a younger brother, too," Maëlle said thoughtfully. "He's a year younger than us, named Dennis. He's a lot like Colin except..."

"Even _more_ of a spaz," Merryn laughed.

"What do you mean?" Sirius laughed, picturing a thin, not-evil version of Peter chasing after his daughter and not understanding why she would have held still long enough to be kissed by the boy.

"Oh, they're nice enough," Merryn said quickly. "And not altogether unintelligent but... well, they're fanboys of Harry and I think Colin honestly would have even noticed that we existed if Harry hadn't been talking to us."

She seemed a bit bitter about this fact, and Sirius wanted to tear the boy limb from limb for not being enamored with his daughter from the moment she entered Hogwarts.

But on the other hand, then they might even be having sex already. That was how that one girl in Hufflepuff got pregnant in fifth year. She and her boyfriend had been together since first year and they started having sex young because his roommates egged him into it, even though none of them had even kissed a girl yet. They were living vicariously through him.

No, maybe it was for the best that he'd not noticed her for a while.

"Anyway," Maëlle sighed, "they're both in the D.A., and they're learning quicker than anyone expected, especially Dennis. He's very young, after all."

"So was Harry when he fought the basilisk," Merryn countered. "And Harry was Colin's age when he was in the Triwizard Tournament. I mean, when he _won_ the Triwizard Tournament."

"And when I was Colin's age," Sirius said with a teasing smile, "I discovered that it was a bad idea to mix fish and jam. We all progress differently, and you have to admit that Harry's more than a bit of a prodigy. I'm sure Colin's very bright, but-"

"But he's not Harry," Matty chipped in. "That doesn't mean that we have any problems with him, though."

Matty ought to speak for herself, Sirius thought bitterly. He should have insisted that his girls settle for nothing less than a Potter. Since there was only one of those left in the world, that meant that at least one of his girls would be chaste until he died. The other, well, at least the other would have Harry, and you really couldn't do any better than Harry.

"But they'll be home soon," Matty continued. "So we should be ready to be social again, all right? Are you done with that tea?"

Sirius had a hard time with dinner that night, not because there was anything wrong with the food but because Harry seemed very out of sorts ever since they got back from the hospital, and between Harry being out of sorts and Merryn basically having a boyfriend the world was not going in any sort of direction Sirius felt comfortable with at all.

Matty was helping Molly with something in the room Molly was staying in and the girls were playing some chess before bed, so Sirius was sitting in the kitchen after dinner alone, except the being alone didn't last very long.

Remus walked in, sitting down across from Sirius and smiling weakly at him. Things had been tense between the old friends, all living in one house together, especially because Sirius knew that it must be difficult for Remus to walk around knowing that Sirius and Matty were having sex all over the house.

And Sirius would know, especially after listening to Matty and Remus having sex while sitting in the bottom of a wardrobe. But Remus didn't exactly know about that incident and Sirius wasn't about to tell him.

"So Matty tells me that Merryn's got a boyfriend," Remus said with an apologetic smile. "Colin Creevey?"

"Yes," Sirius growled bitterly, looking at his tea and wondering if he ought to fling it at Remus or not.

"You know, I taught Colin," Remus said thoughtfully. "He was always a very good boy, a bit distracted by his celebrity obsession with Harry, but he did his schoolwork well and he was very kind to everyone. Merryn could do a lot worse. Your daughter could have ended up with a troublemaker like her father or a monster like her godfather."

The bitterness in Remus's voice was something Sirius could relate to, so against his better judgment he got up, got some firewhiskey from the pantry, and poured them each a glass.

"To over-protective father syndrome," Sirius said, raising his glass toward Remus.

"To girls too pretty for their own good," Remus said with a nod and smile, clinking his glass against Sirius's.

They each took a drink.

"You know," Remus sighed, "there was a time when I thought I could be a father to those girls if Matty let me, but seeing them around you... I could never do that for them. They would never look at me like that."

While Sirius was very pleased with this confession he knew that Remus was feeling particularly low about himself for some reason that wasn't related to Matty or the girls, something that wasn't related to Sirius.

Actually, as it turned out, it _was_ something related to Sirius, but in the more literal sense.

"Wait, Tonks did _what_?"

"She kissed me," Remus muttered, turning redder by the second. "And she kissed me in a hospital. That can't be a good thing, can it?"

Sirius took another sip of firewhiskey, thinking. He then put down the glass and shrugged.

"I don't know; did you enjoy the kiss?"

Remus groaned.

"I didn't know what to do!" he cried.

"Sure you did," Sirius said with a wink. "I've seen you kiss Matty, Mooney, you know what you're doing."

Remus turned bright red, which Sirius felt a bit proud about. He ought to be embarrassed for how he behaved with Matty, especially when it wasn't her fault.

"You know what I mean," Remus finally grumbled. "She's your little cousin, Sirius! She's nearly young enough to be my daughter. And she's beautiful and lively and young and whole and-"

"And you are not going to say that she's wrong for you just because you're a werewolf, that's insulting," Sirius spat. "C'mon, Remus, young as she is she's a grown woman and she has a right to make her own choices, even if I can't see why she makes the ones she makes."

Remus didn't say anything to that, which annoyed Sirius. He was even more of a kicked dog than Sirius had realized. He really thought that he was bad for Tonks somehow, which made Sirius feel a bit angry. It was like he was insulting the judgment of Sirius's baby cousin.

"Look," Sirius sighed, "I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but if I were you and Tonks was Matty I would ignore every thought about why I shouldn't and love her anyway. I mean, my cousin's not Matty, but I think there's plenty to love about her, and she wants you. Matty doesn't."

All right, he couldn't pass up that opportunity, no matter how friendly he and Remus were trying to be. Remus did have to protect what was his, after all. Remus wouldn't have done the same, but Sirius wasn't Remus and he didn't have to hold himself to such saintly standards.

And that was part of the reason Matty fell for Sirius, not Remus.

But they were friends, and he was too good of a friend to say something like that, especially because he knew that Remus would take it because he really didn't have anyone left.

Instead they drank the rest of their glasses of firewhiskey and talked about the three girls who were the center of both of their lives: Matty and the twins.

"I just can't believe how lucky you are, Sirius," Remus sighed. "Even with twelve years in Azkaban you still have the most beautiful woman I've ever known thoroughly in love with you and you have the most beautiful daughters and they adore you like you're Merlin himself or bloody Godric Gryffindor in spite of the fact that you weren't there for basically their whole lives. I don't know how you always pull off everything in your favor."

Sirius shrugged, thinking that it was a bit more complicated than that but not knowing how to voice such when so completely exhausted.

"I just hope that my luck continues on in this vein, then," Sirius sighed. "Now let's go to sleep before we start toasting my luck and we finish this whole fucking bottle."

**A/N: My novella, **_**Those We Trust**_**, is now available on iTunes, so go buy your copy! It should be up in other places soon! Like me on Facebook for regular updates!**

** -C**


	26. Fatherly

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my lovely reader and fan, **_**Lizaluvsdoggies**_**, with whom I am working on a collaborative piece with! :D Thank you, Liza! You're awesome!**

** -C**

Just a few days before term was going to start again and everyone would be leaving Sirius, Matty, and Remus more or less alone in Grimmauld Place again, Sirius got into what one might call an altercation.

He wouldn't call it an altercation, but that was what Matty called it after it was over.

He'd been in the kitchen, having a cup of tea with the girls when the slimeball arrived.

Molly was working on something in the kitchen, dinner, Sirius thought, although it was difficult to recall much of what was happening when Severus Snape walked into the kitchen, a sneer on his face.

"Someone needs to fetch me Potter," he said to Molly and Sirius as though they were his personal slaves. "Professor Dumbledore has sent me to deliver some news to him."

Molly hurried off to do just that, as she always did if she knew something was Dumbledore's wish. Sirius, on the other hand, glared up at Snape with his usual look of pure hatred. Snape glared back.

"Hello, professor," Maëlle chirped happily.

Sirius tried very hard not to let his lips twitch into a smile like the one Merryn was sporting at the opportunity to see his daughter clash with his childhood enemy firsthand.

But Snape ignored her, turning instead to Sirius and saying, "I am meant to speak with Potter alone."

"You don't want to see me, sir?" Maëlle said sweetly. Some might have thought she was an angel, the way she pulled that off sometimes, but even angels couldn't sway Snape, apparently. "You could just say so. There's no need to talk over my head."

Merryn snorted, but Snape continued to ignore her.

"I'll be staying," Sirius said. "The girls can go see their mother."

"But Daddy," Maëlle whined, which earned a disapproving sneer from Snape, which Sirius supposed was the exact reaction she was going for.

"Elle, Merryn, go see your mother," Sirius said firmly.

"In most contexts, Black, alone means alone," Snape said smoothly as the girls put their cups dutifully in the sinks, which they never did. They were, of course, buying more time in the kitchen before they had to go see their mother and tell her that their father was about to fight their professor.

The girls did leave, though, and Sirius said, "In this context I'm Harry's guardian in Albus's eyes and so I'm going to stay just as James would have done and look after his safety."

Snape obviously wanted to reply to that, from the shape of his sneer, but Harry entered and the two of them quieted, not wanting to fight right in front of Harry, because it was likely that Harry would talk to Dumbledore and it wouldn't end well for either of them.

The conversation didn't go well, of course. No one could have expected otherwise.

When they were interrupted by Arthur arriving home cured and just in time for dinner, though, the near-duel between Snape and Sirius was diverted, and Maëlle called sweetly to the Potion's Master, "See you at school, sir!"

Sirius could have sworn that he'd heard a distinct growl as Snape walked away, and he gritted his teeth not to lunge after him right in front of everyone, as he would have done as a boy, taking the warning look from Matty and sitting back down at the kitchen table.

Remus, though, Remus laughed.

"Are you still doing that, Elle?" he said with a feigned disapproving tone. He was having a hard time to keep from looking anything but amused. "You really shouldn't pick on your teachers."

"I'm not picking on him, Uncle Remus," she said sweetly. "I'm just being polite. You and Mummy taught me to be polite to everyone, even slimy, greasy dungeon bats."

Sirius and Remus burst out with laughter at that and Matty struggled to hide her smirk. It was so hard to discipline his daughter for so creatively doing exactly what Sirius had spent his entire youth doing: picking on Severus Snape. Still, someone had to tell her off.

And Molly Weasley was always up for the job.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, Elle," Molly chided. "Sit down and drink your tea, dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Anyway, he works very hard and is very important to the war effort."

"We'll have to take your word for that," Merryn sighed. "We're not allowed to know about the war effort, remember? We're too _young_."

Molly was just about ready to bite back when Matty slipped into the conversation.

"Merryn, apologize," she commanded, and Merryn did so, although she looked as though she was swallowing a lemon whole. "And you _are_ too young, both of you. Your father and I might have started fighting the first war pretty young, but not when we were thirteen years old."

Speak for yourself, Sirius wanted to say. He could recall the struggle he'd had even younger than thirteen, struggling against his family, struggling to survive and not be sucked into their dark world of Death Eaters and blood purity. The war had been a fight of his at thirteen, certainly, and Matty had been sheltered in that regard, but it wasn't the time to say something like that.

It wasn't something he wanted his girls to know, anyway.

So they had dinner and he held his tongue, half wishing he could have punched Snape in the over-large nose, half wishing he could just curl up under the covers until the war was over, until he could just have a normal life with Matty and Merryn and Maëlle, and that he wouldn't have to keep on like he was, living a half-life in a home he hated more than anything, dealing with Snape far more than he could stomach, and only seeing his daughters a few times a year.

Everyone left only a few days later. Sirius and Matty made a point to get up bright and early to say goodbye to Harry and the girls before they were take back to Hogwarts via the Knight Bus by Remus and Tonks (Sirius's idea in the latest Order meeting concerning the security of Harry and the others as they returned to school and one Remus was decidedly annoyed about).

Sirius slipped Harry James's old two-way mirror that they'd used in school wrapped up so that Remus wouldn't confiscate it, and he warned him not to open it until he got to school, and to use it if he ever needed to talk to him.

He'd also made Matty discretely buy another set of two-way mirrors to use with the girls.

"We'll be able to talk with them while they're away, Matty," he sighed. "Don't you want that?"

"Of course I do," she'd said. "But what if-"

"Matty, James and I used two-way mirrors for years and never got in trouble."

"You also never had Umbridge as a teacher," she pointed out. "And where did those mirrors go, anyway?"

"I think James had had them," he lied. "They're lost, anyway."

Matty accepted that and bought the mirrors. He'd handed one to Merryn sneakily when Maëlle was complaining about how her broom didn't fit properly in her trunk while Remus tried to fix it for her.

"This is important," Sirius whispered. "Don't open it until you're in your dormitory and alone, or with Elle or Tien. There's a note inside. All right?"

Merryn nodded and slipped the parcel into her bag smoothly.

"It's going to be fine," she assured him. "I won't open it early or anything."

Sirius nodded, kissing Merryn on the forehead and making his way over to give Maëlle a kiss, too.

"Be good," Sirius said with a smile to his daughter, and she gave him an amused look.

"Don't you mean to be saying that to Merryn, Daddy?"

Sirius laughed, shook his head, and said, "No, I mean to be saying it to both of you, you little demon. Your mother and I got into our fair share of trouble in our day, princess. You can't fool me with sweet smiles and prim behavior any more than..."

He trailed off, thinking it wasn't necessarily the best thing to say that she was using her mother's exact methods to avoid blame because it would just reinforce the behaviors.

Matty and Sirius said one last goodbye to the girls before saying their goodbyes to everyone else, including Harry. Sirius saved a special goodbye for the Weasley twins.

"I have a Marauder's favor to ask," he said, shaking their hands.

"Anything," they assured him in unison.

"Take care of my baby girls," he said in a low voice. "Keep them safe and out of too much trouble, and keep an eye on this boy Merryn's seeing, this Colin Creevey. I'll send word through Elle if I want you to beat him up, and if you have a message to send me, send it through Elle."

The boys swore they would, and the girls were gone moments later, leaving Matty, Sirius, Molly, and Arthur standing alone in the hall, looking around each other.

"A quick cup of tea?" Molly asked after a long moment. Sirius nodded and Matty led the way to the kitchen, where she put the kettle on.

"They're growing up fast, Sirius," Arthur said with a sad smile. "I hear Merryn's got a boyfriend."

Sirius nodded numbly. Had he had a girlfriend at thirteen?

Yes, he thought he had, but he couldn't remember who she was or anything about her except that she'd been a Ravenclaw, it had been near the end of the year, and it had lasted about a week.

After that he'd had a string of girlfriends he didn't really remember anything about until he'd finally gotten Matty to kiss him, and from then on he never looked back.

With a sigh, Sirius suddenly felt much better.

She was only thirteen and there would be other boys, other experiences before she was old enough to find someone and settle down, hopefully in a better manner than her parents had.

"Colin's a good boy," Molly said reassuringly. "Ginny has said you couldn't find a nicer boy. And a Gryffindor."

"Thank Merlin for that," Matty intoned in agreement. "My greatest fear was that Merryn would date a Slytherin just to put me through fits. She likes doing that, you know."

"Isn't that what your mother said about you?" Sirius teased.

Matty didn't answer, but she smirked knowingly.

Her mother had been sure that Matty was going to sleep with the entire Slytherin House just to drive her mother insane. Matty used to joke that Sirius was the compromise: the Gryffindor from a Slytherin family.

"Well, I don't mean to boast," Arthur said slowly, "but Ginny is a very good judge of character."

"Yes, I got that sense," Sirius agreed.

He did like Ginny. She made him think a bit of Lily, and watching her interest in Harry made Sirius think that he'd stepped into some sort of time warp where Lily was chasing James, although subtly. Lily would have been subtle, of course, although anything would have been subtle compared with James. But the fact that she told Sirius stories of trying to flush the rat Ron had not known was Peter down a toilet several times made Sirius know just what a great judge of character Ginny was.

"Well," Arthur finally sighed, "we should be heading home. We'll see you soon, I expect."

"I'm glad you're doing well," Matty said sincerely, hugging both Molly and Arthur, kissing Arthur's cheek tenderly as Sirius hugged Molly. He shook Arthur's hand, noticing for the first time in all the chaos how haggard the man looked. Sirius was reminded of himself right out of Azkaban.

"Chocolate," he said softly, so that Matty and Molly didn't hear. "Remus told me. It helps."

Arthur gave him a grateful nod before taking Molly's hand, waving goodbye, and leaving for the Burrow.

The following morning Remus was staring at the paper with dark, empty eyes and Sirius knew something terrible had happened.

"There's going to be a meeting tonight, from the look on your face," Matty said, grabbing some toast from Remus's plate and holding out her hand for the paper.

"Matty, I don't think-"

"Remus just give me the paper," she sighed, and he glared for a moment before sliding most of the paper toward her, hiding a section under the table, which Sirius frowned at, but Matty didn't seem to notice.

Sirius, concerned about what Remus might be hiding and knowing that Matty would have to see whatever it was sooner or later, decided on sooner and reached under the table, snatching the page from Remus, which turned out to be the front page.

"Sirius, don't-"

But it was too late.

Matty had seen.

And she promptly fainted.

Sirius scrambled to catch her before she reached the hard kitchen floor, glancing at the page as he caught her.

Ten high security prisoners had escaped from Azkaban overnight, and one of them was his cousin, Bellatrix.

"Damn it," Remus growled, getting some tea and a glass of water, kneeling beside Sirius, who had propped Matty's head and upper body on his legs, looking at the newspaper like it was going to bite her.

Remus carefully poured a bit of water into Matty's mouth, which he was holding open with one hand.

"Raise her more," he said. "Don't want it going into her lungs."

Sirius complied, lifting her as Remus said and watching as Remus waved his wand wordlessly, setting the water aside and pressing the tea to her lips as Matty's eyes flickered open.

"Are you all right?" Sirius whispered, smoothing her hair out of her face lovingly. "How do you feel?"

"I - I..."

Matty's eyes trailed toward the newspaper where Bellatrix's snarling face was looking right at her and she whimpered.

"She can't find you here, Matty," Remus said soothingly. "You're safe here."

"She can't be free," Matty choked out. "She... she... Dumbledore promised me, he promised me she would never come back, he promised!"

"Matty, please," Sirius said, his voice wavering slightly, clutching her tighter to his chest. "Please, believe me, darling. You're safe here. You're with me and you're going to be safe."

She shook her head vigorously, sobbing into his chest and clutching his arms so tightly that her nails were digging into his skin considerably, but Sirius disregarded this completely. He was more concerned by the fact that she seemed to be trying to say something that she couldn't form the words for and from the way she was acting it had to be something important, if only in her over-exaggerated perception of it.

And Sirius couldn't make it better if he didn't know what it was he was supposed to be making better.

Then, Sirius understood why she was so distressed.

"The girls," he whispered, looking up at Remus, whose face broke out with a look of nausea and sudden realization.

"Damn it," Remus spat again. "Damn it. I'm going to take care of something."

He was going to talk to Dumbledore, Sirius was sure.

"Relax, darling," Sirius cooed, trying to ignore that his own insides were snaking with a debilitating sort of terror. "They're at Hogwarts. Bellatrix can't touch them at Hogwarts. You know that."

"You got in," Matty whispered, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"I'm a Marauder," Sirius reasoned. "Bellatrix isn't. She doesn't know what the passageways are-"

"But Peter does," Matty hissed. "You heard Harry, he's working with the Death Eaters again. What's to keep her from finding them and killing them and... Sirius, I'm not going to sleep until she's dead."

"You're going to sleep and you're going to sleep fine," Sirius cooed. "Remus is going to talk to Dumbledore right now. She's not getting into that castle, darling. Our girls are safe, I promise, and so are you. Nothing is going to happen to any of us."

It took a while for Matty to calm down, and Sirius knew that his own heart was racing with fear.

The one thing Sirius did know was that his cousin was one of the most determined people on the planet, and if she really wanted to kill his children and Matty she would do everything in her power to accomplish it or die trying.

Of course, he was hoping for the latter.

Matty had fallen asleep in Sirius's arms from the exhaustion of her hysteria, so Sirius scooped her up and carried her to their bed, tucking her in gently and kissing her forehead before going back to the kitchen before his stomach started to growl.

"Remus," he said, watching his friend scoop up the newspaper and crumple it, sitting it on the table and burning it. "She's sleeping."

"Dumbledore's got the Auror's taking special care at the passageways," Remus sighed, putting the fire out before the table started to burn, watching the ashes falling to the table. "And Order members. He assures me that nothing's going to happen to the girls."

"This is Bellatrix, though," Sirius groaned, running his fingers anxiously through his hair. "If something happens to those girls, Mooney, I don't know what I'll do."

"It's going to be all right," Remus said gently.

"You don't know that," Sirius whispered. "You can't say that for sure."

"No, I can't," Remus agreed. "But if Voldemort's afraid of Dumbledore, you can bet that Bellatrix will be leery of him too."

Sirius snorted.

"Bellatrix was never afraid of anything, even when she should have been. She touched the stove just because she knew she wasn't supposed to." He shuddered. "I just want them safe, Remus. I just want to see them again, hold them again... If something were to happen..."

"Relax," Remus insisted. "Nothing is going to happen. I promise."

And Sirius just nodded, staring at the wood grain of the table, feeling more than a little bit sick to his stomach.


	27. The Passage of Time

Nothing exciting happened until March.

Sirius and Matty had been cuddling in their sleep quite contentedly until Remus burst into the room, causing both of them to wake with a start, both ready to start yelling at him for waking them up instead of rushing for their wands by instinct.

Because he was smiling, not frantic.

"You have to see this, Kingsley just sent it over," he said excitedly, tossing a copy of what was instantly recognizable as the _Quibbler_ at them, grinning like a fool.

Sirius turned it over to realize that it was an exclusive interview with Harry about Voldemort's return.

"Merlin, that boy," he said, grinning. "How did he pull this off?"

"Harry?" Matty snorted. "Oh, please, this smacks of Hermione Granger. That girl could probably arrange Voldemort's downfall given a few quality connections, a little bit of power, and the right spell book."

As much as Harry took offense to her unintentional putdown of Harry, Sirius had to admit that she was probably right about Hermione. She really was remarkable, like Lily that way, but he couldn't say that out loud because any mention of the past, the people they lost, would upset Matty and that was the last thing he wanted.

"The problem is that hardly anyone reads the _Quibbler_," Sirius muttered. "Hardly anyone sane, anyway."

"True," Remus said excitedly, "but once word gets out that this is in the _Quibbler_, you know everyone's going to want a copy, and Umbridge is going to hate it."

Sirius didn't think he'd ever seen Remus so excited about upsetting someone. It was fair, after all. This woman had made his already-difficult life a living hell and was constantly trying to make it worse.

"I wonder what she's going to do to the kids," Matty said softly. "The ones who read it, I mean."

The men hadn't thought of that, which was obvious from the way they exchanged worried looks. Harry would be punished the worst, if she could find a way to do so. After that, it would be people passing out the paper, reading it, talking about it...

And the girl's had a thing for finding themselves in detention.

"It's going to be fine," Remus said slowly, his voice more unsure than usual and far more unsure than it had been just moments before. "Albus won't let anything happen to them. And... and you know this will spread like wildfire."

"That's a good point," Sirius said earnestly. "She can't put everybody in detention."

"No," Matty granted. "But she can make examples of people. They used to do that with you and James sometimes, remember?"

Sirius remembered, and he could hear the choking in Matty's voice as she said James's name. He sighed, hugging her tightly to his chest, although she didn't cry. Maybe she was getting better about letting go of the past, although Sirius had to admit that it wasn't getting any easier for him. Sometimes he was still stunned to think that they were all gone.

It was April until anything else of significance happened.

"What do you mean Dumbledore got fired?" Sirius demanded when Kingsley reported this information to the trio over their evening tea.

"I mean he not only got fired, they wanted to arrest him and now he's vanished," Kingsley rumbled in his deep voice. "It was to keep Harry from being expelled, of course. And now I think he's doing something for the war effort."

"But he's not protecting our girls!" Sirius said, thinking of his cousin. "What about them?"

"There's nothing he can do about that," Kingsley said gently. "Minerva is going to make sure they're safe."

Somehow knowing that McGonagall was looking out for his girls didn't carry the same amount of peace of mind as Dumbledore doing so. Matty didn't seem particularly placated, either, but they all nodded as though that would be fine.

"So I wonder what he's doing," Matty finally said. "I mean, something that none of the rest of us could do, obviously. But... well, I suppose it doesn't matter. Do you think they're all going to get into trouble for being in the group?"

"I would assume so," Kingsley sighed. "She had the full list of names. I know that your girls were on it, as well as all the Weasley children, plenty of other children. It would be a large detention, but doable."

They sat there uncomfortably for a moment. Then Kingsley made his excuses for going back to work and filing his official report on the incident and Remus, Sirius, and Matty looked around at each other over their tepid tea.

"Well," Sirius finally said, "at least McGonagall has her claws on it. She'll do whatever she can for the students, I'll give her that."

"She likes your girls," Remus said softly. "She might give them a hard time, but she used to talk all the time about how talented and wonderful they were, especially Elle."

Sirius was extremely proud hearing that, because that was pretty much how McGonagall had felt about him and James, so good she had to like them but driving her crazy with their pranks at the same time. And when it came down to it, Sirius knew that she would have laid down her life for either of them, if she'd had a chance. If that was how she felt about his girls, then they would be as safe as she could physically manage.

"I guess we just have to wait, now, don't we?" Matty sighed. "I feel like that's always how we operate, here. I'm a bit sick of waiting."

"Me too," Sirius agreed with a sigh and a nod, but Remus looked at them with a sad, concerned look in his tired amber eyes.

"The time will come all too soon when we can all be out in the action and there won't be any room for waiting," Remus sighed. "I can't believe that we should wish for such a time to come any sooner than it has to, not after last time."

The very next morning, they learned that Umbridge had been named Headmistress of Hogwarts, which made their blood boil, but reports from McGonagall suggested that she had a fingernail's grip on the school at best. The gargoyle wouldn't let her into the Head's office, not recognizing her as the Headmistress of the school. The students had already begun pranking her in grand fashion, including the Weasley twins, who had set off a mass of fireworks from their new line just to create a little bit of havoc.

"And the girls?" Sirius asked as she sipped the tea Matty put in front of her. "Are the girls okay?"

"Your daughters are fine," McGonagall said with a slightly softer expression on her tired face. "As of yet they have not provoked Umbridge, as I advised Maëlle, and hopefully she passed it on to her sister. Harry was unable to restrain himself from the beginning, but then, he is under a distinctly greater amount of pressure in this whole issue, Merlin help him."

There was an awkward sort of silence for a moment and then Matty said, "You're still having the passages watched?"

McGonagall shot her a knowing look.

"She will not get into that castle, Matea, I promise you," McGonagall said firmly, the way she had when she'd told Matty that Caradoc wasn't dead until they found a body, or the way she had told James that his child's life was more important than anything he could do for the Order by not being in hiding.

It was the tone she used when she was pointing out something obvious that they were stubbornly refusing to see.

"Thank you," Sirius said softly. "I know that there's a lot of things being demanded of you right now, but I... I..."

She just smiled as she sipped a bit more of her tea.

There was really no need to properly express his thanks, because McGonagall knew exactly how grateful he was that she was making his daughter's safety a priority, just as she had done for Harry from the beginning.

"I suppose you'll have to be going back soon, then," Remus said softly, as if to remind them all that Dolores Umbridge would already be aware that McGonagall was not at Hogwarts, and Merlin only knew what she would do about that when she got back.

"You're right," McGonagall said, putting down the mostly-empty cup of tea. "Thank you for the tea, Matea. I hope that I will see you all sooner rather than later."

"Stay safe," Matty said softly, taking the cup and putting it in the sink.

McGonagall nodded solemnly.

"The storm is coming," she whispered. "Soon, I think. If Albus would be willing to leave the school like he did without any warning... Something very big is on the way, whatever it is." She walked most of the way to the stairs, paused, and then turned and said, "Take care of yourselves, all of you," before she disappeared up the stairs and back out of their lives.

It was early May and Sirius and Matty were having a bit of fun in their bedroom, although clothes hadn't come off yet, when Remus started knocking frantically on the door.

"Sirius!" Remus cried, "Harry's in the fireplace and he wants to talk with you!"

"What?" Sirius yelped, and he started to scramble out of the sheets with Matty falling off the bed as he did so. "Sorry," he said, pulling her to her feet and ignoring her glare as she tried to straighten out her hair, following him out the door.

When they got to the kitchen they saw Harry's head sticking out of the fireplace.

"Harry, is everything all right?" Sirius asked, getting onto his knees with Remus beside the fireplace. Matty sat primly with her legs tucked beneath her, smoothing her skirt over her thighs.

"Yeah, I just... I just wanted to talk about... about my dad," Harry said nervously.

The adults exchanged worried and confused looks, and then Harry explained how he saw the memory of James picking on Snape after their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

Sirius couldn't help but smile, reminiscing. That had been a great day for him and Matty, later in the day.

"I wouldn't want for you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry," Remus said slowly. "He was only fifteen-"

"I'm fifteen!" Harry pointed out testily.

"Look, Harry," said Sirius, "James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can't you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be — he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James — whatever else he may have appeared to you — always hated the Dark Arts."

"Yeah," said Harry, "but he just attacked Snape for no good reason, just because — well, just because you said you were bored," he finished with a slightly apologetic note in his voice.

"He's not proud of it," Matty said, petting Sirius's leg slightly, and she was right. Sirius had said so even later that day, although he hadn't meant it when he said it then. He just said it so that Matty would forgive him for his part in the mess.

Remus said, "Look, Harry, what you've got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away —"

"If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean," said Sirius.

Remus and Matty grinned at each other.

"He kept messing up his hair," said Harry in a pained voice.

Sirius and Remus and Matty all laughed at that, smiling at each other as they remembered their school days.

"I'd forgotten he used to do that," said Matty affectionately.

"Was he playing with the Snitch?" said Remus eagerly.

"Yeah," said Harry, and Sirius, Remus, and Matty grinned at each other again. "Well… I thought he was a bit of an idiot."

"Of course he was a bit of an idiot!" said Sirius bracingly. "We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much," he said fairly, looking at Remus, but Matty shook her head.

"Did he ever tell you to lay off Snape?" she said. "Did he ever have the guts to tell you he thought you were out of order?"

"Yeah, well," said Sirius, "he made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… That was something…"

"And," said Harry doggedly, "he kept looking over at the girls by the lake, hoping they were watching him!"

"Oh, well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around," said Sirius, shrugging. "He couldn't stop himself showing off whenever he got near her."

"How come she married him?" Harry asked miserably. "She hated him!"

"Nah, she didn't," said Matty, grinning even broader.

"She started going out with him in seventh year," said Remus.

"Once James had deflated his head a bit," said Sirius.

"And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it," said Remus.

"Even Snape?" said Harry.

"Well," said Matty slowly, "Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you? On principle"

"And my mum was okay with that?"

"She didn't know too much about it, to tell you the truth," said Sirius. "I mean, James didn't take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?"

Sirius frowned at Harry, who was still looking unconvinced.

"Look," he said, "your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person. A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it."

"Yeah, okay," said Harry heavily. "I just never thought I'd feel sorry for Snape."

"Now you mention it," said Matty, frowning slightly, "how did Snape react when he found you'd seen all this?"

"He told me he'd never teach me Occlumency again," said Harry indifferently, "like that's a big disappoint —"

"He WHAT?" shouted Sirius.

"Are you serious, Harry?" said Remus quickly. "He's stopped giving you lessons?"

"Yeah," said Harry, surprised at what he considered a great overreaction. "But it's okay, I don't care, it's a bit of a relief to tell you the —"

"I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!" said Matty forcefully and she actually made to stand up, but Remus wrenched her back down again.

"If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!" he said firmly. "But, Harry, first of all, you're to go back to Snape and tell him that on no account is he to stop giving you lessons — when Dumbledore hears —"

"I can't tell him that, he'd kill me!" said Harry, outraged. "You didn't see him when we got out of the Pensieve —"

"Harry, there is nothing so important as you learning Occlumency!" said Remus sternly. "Do you understand me? Nothing!"

"Okay, okay," said Harry. "I'll… I'll try and say something to him… But it won't be…"

He fell silent.

"Is that Kreacher coming downstairs?" said Harry.

"No," said Matty, glancing behind herself. "It must be somebody your end…"

"I'd better go!" Harry said hastily, disappearing.

"Whose fireplace was he using, anyway?" Matty said thoughtfully. "I thought Minerva said the fireplaces were all being watched."

"She did," Sirius said slowly. "Except..."

They all exchanged a nervous look.

"Umbridge," they groaned in unison.

Harry, bless his soul, had broken into Umbridge's office to talk to them about the memory of Snape's that he probably wasn't supposed to see about them acting like twits.

"Brilliant," Sirius sighed. "Well, at least it was Harry and not the girls."

"You don't know that the girls weren't involved," Matty reasoned. "After all, they were all in the D.A. together. They could have been a part of the diversion, because you know Hermione wouldn't let him pull something like this without a diversion."

Matty made a good point, but Remus made a big show of assuring them that the girls would be fine, which of course, didn't make anyone feel any better about the girls and how fine they might be.

It was when Sirius was feeling especially nervous about the whole thing that there was the sound of someone at the front door and Remus got up to get the visitor, while Matty and Sirius pulled out their wands suspiciously.

And it was Molly Weasley.

"The boys ran away from school," she said, her voice stunned and dazed. "My... my twins, they just... they just set off a... a portable swamp and... and they left!"

"Left?" Matty said incredulously. "Left where?"

"Portable swamp?" Remus and Sirius chorused with vastly different degrees of interest in their vocal inflections.

"Something they developed," Molly replied, still stunned. "They have a shop. In London. They sent a note. They were giving Harry a diversion for something and then... then they left. They have a shop. With a flat. I... My boys-"

"Are going to be just fine, Molly, I guarantee it," Remus said gently. "They're good boys. Bright. If they've done this, they've figured out how to do it right."

"Yes, well," she sighed.

Somehow, Molly was missing the part that Sirius thought was incredibly obvious.

"Do you know if the girls were involved?" he asked firmly.

"I - I don't know," she admitted, blinking at him, bewildered. "I would guess not, they weren't mentioned and... I..."

"I'm sure they weren't, Sirius," Matty said, shooting him a look that said plainly how tactless he was. "Molly, I'll make you some tea and we'll just wait for some more news about the boys. I'm sure it will be good news, all right?"

And so Sirius excused himself and let Molly be mental with Remus and Matty while he worried about his own children like a normal person.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**lizaluvsdoggies**_**, my loyal reader and friend who gives me the necessary drive to actually update these things during finals week. :D**

**-C**


	28. I Love You

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**Forever Siriusly Sirius**_**, formerly **_**lizaluvsdoggies**_**, who declares that the whole story should be dedicated to her because half the chapters are. Well, all right, then, she'll get the sequel dedicated to her when we get there, but I'm not willing to hand over this one so easily. :D LOVE YOU LIZA.**

** -C**

It was into the second week of the O.W.L. exams when they got the news.

"What do you _mean_ McGonagall's in St. Mungo's?" Sirius asked Kingsley furiously.

"He means she's in St. Mungo's you twit," Tonks retorted. "Look, she's in a bad way, there's nothing we could do for her. That was a lot of Stunners to that old chest."

"She's going to be okay?" Matty said softly.

"They say that she'll be all right with time and rest and the proper care," Kingsley said slowly. "But she's not young anymore. There aren't any guarantees."

Remus shook his head sadly.

Sirius, though, Sirius couldn't understand why they didn't see how horrible this was.

"She promised me," Sirius said. "She promised the girls would be as safe as she could make them-"

"I'm making sure that none of the security drops," Tonks said firmly. "Bellatrix isn't getting in, Sirius. If I have to personally ensure it, she's not getting in."

Sirius wasn't entirely sure if they could trust Tonks to do it properly, but seeing as he really didn't have another choice he just nodded numbly, looking down at the table and wishing he could see them, hold them, just to make sure that they were still all right.

It had been so long since the last time he told them he loved them, even though they already knew.

And then he got an idea.

"Will the girls see you?" he asked Tonks. "I mean, do you see them at all, or anyone?"

She hesitated for a moment, thinking.

"You know, I do see Ginny quite a lot when I'm around. We have a knack for running into each other. Why?"

"Could you have her pass a note to the girls?" Sirius said urgently.

"I don't see why not," she said slowly. "That wouldn't be caught by Umbridge, and if you keep it vague it shouldn't cause a problem."

"Wait right here," he said quickly, running find a quill and parchment before he squiggled quickly on the scrap of parchment.

_Princesses,_

_ I love you so, so much._

_ -Your number one fan_

Sirius displayed the handy-work for a moment. It didn't say nearly enough, but it would have to do.

He ran the note down to Tonks, who assured him that she would hand off the note to the first person who came along that would be able to pass it along to the girls.

Sirius didn't like just handing off something so casually, but it was all he could do in that moment, so he accepted it and watched Tonks and Kingsley leave with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm going to go grocery shopping tonight, I think," Remus said softly, changing the subject. "Want to help me make a list, Matty?"

It was a long day, every hour seeming to drag on to Sirius, like he was waiting, although he wasn't sure what he was waiting for. When Remus finally went to get more food after a late lunch, Sirius dragged Matty upstairs to their bedroom.

"Sirius," she whined. "I'm tired."

"I don't care," he said playfully, peeling her dress off her body. "How often do we get Mooney to go on shopping trips? This is a prime opportunity not to be interrupted."

Matty giggled, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it quickly over his head. She ran her fingers along the familiar tattoos and battle scars that covered his chest as he pressed his lips to hers hungrily. It had been too long since they'd had the house to themselves for any real amount of time.

Her arms snaked around his neck as he pulled off his trousers, still kissing her sweet lips, desperate to taste her even more. He kicked the trousers aside and she ground against him, drawing a moan from his lips to hers. She grinned against his mouth.

Sirius wrapped his arm around her torso and he undid her bra deftly with one hand, and then she shrugged it off, leaning back a little bit and letting Sirius move his hands to her breasts, massaging gently until she gasped and her knees gave out. He then lifted her up and tossed her onto the bed, pulling her panties off her before she had a moment to reorient herself.

"Sirius," she sighed as he climbed on top of her, trailing kisses up her body as he worked his way up to her neck. She threw her head back to give him better access. He felt her hands tangle up in his hair and he smiled against her skin, running his hands down her back to cup her ass.

It was unfair how beautiful she was, but Sirius wasn't really able to think on that for too long because she lifted her ass out of his hands and ground against him through the fabric of his boxers. He let out a groan.

"You are such a bloody tease," he hissed as she ground against him again. "You are going to pay for that."

He hurriedly pulled off his boxers as she pressed her lips to his again eagerly.

Before he realized what was happening, she'd rolled them over on the bed, straddling his hips and a small grin on her pretty little lips.

"Not if you pay first," she teased, impaling herself on him in one deft motion, causing both of them to moan deeply. Sirius sat up a bit to suckle her breasts as she bounced and Matty threw her head back as she continued to moan his name until he could feel her come undone.

Sirius would have to eat more, to get Remus out of the house more often.

About an hour later, a cuddling, naked Sirius and Matty were awoken from their dozing state by a frantic Remus, tearing into the room with Snape behind him.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Remus sighed. "I thought you'd done something stupid!"

"Oi, d'you mind?" Sirius cried, pulling the covers up more to keep Matty's still-waking form from Snape's eyes.

"What's going on?" she groaned.

"You godson had another vision," Snape said with a surprising amount of concern in his voice. "For some reason, he thought you were being held in the Department of Mysteries, being tortured. He was absolutely sure it was real."

"But you know it's not," Sirius said slowly, not comprehending why everyone was so anxious. "So just tell him I'm fine and-"

"He's already left," Snape said stiffly. "He took a group of students with him and they think they're going to save you, walking right into a trap."

Sirius sat bolt upright, his eyes wide and his heart racing.

"Who did he bring?"

"Oh, a few people," Snape said with a small sneer. "Granger, a couple of Weasleys, Lovegood, Longbottom-"

"Are my girls going off to the Department of Mysteries, Snivellus?" Sirius growled. "You answer me right now."

Snape's expression sobered significantly and Sirius knew what the answer was before Snape even had a chance to say, "I tried to pull them out of the office, but they're stubborn as their parents."

Sirius wasn't listening to anything anymore, and he didn't care that the world could see his naked body. He threw the covers off himself, grabbing the spare wand they'd found for him and tossing on a robe.

"What are you doing?" Matty squeaked, her voice shaky.

"I'm going to make sure nothing hurts my little girls," Sirius said firmly.

"You need to stay here," Snape said. "I need to go back to the school and watch after things. Umbridge is... missing. The Order is going to take care of things in the Ministry. We need you to stay here and tell Albus what's happened."

"Like hell!" Sirius cried, but Snape was already leaving, and Matty had begun to cry.

"Sirius, please don't go," she said. "I'll go, I'll make sure they're safe, but you're... you... please!"

"I need to be there, Matty," he said, motioning for Remus to leave the room as Matty started to get up. She let the sheets fall from her body, but he shook his head, firm. "I've not been there for all of their lives, and if something were to happen to them tonight... I couldn't stand not having been there. I can't do that."

Her eyes were full of tears, but he wasn't going to be swayed and she knew it, so she pulled her clothes back on, robes instead of a dress, and she grabbed her wand.

"I'm going too," she said firmly. "You're not leaving this house without me. All right?"

He wanted to say that she was staying, that she had no business putting herself into a duel with her poor dueling skills. But after everything they'd been through, after the speech he just gave...

He couldn't tell her no, so they ran downstairs to where the forces were piling up in the kitchen.

"We're going too," Sirius said firmly.

"Sirius, are you sure that's wise?" Remus said softly.

"I really don't care at this point if it's wise," Sirius snapped. "My daughters and godson are in there, and if you expect me to just sit here, you're sorely mistaken!"

Tonks nodded and Mad-Eye just shrugged.

They were reviewing how they were going to storm the Department, what to do about the children, and what to do until Dumbledore arrived.

Sirius had to admit, the rush he felt as he went with the other Order members to the Ministry had nothing at all to do with his daughters. It was the best he had felt in a long time, like his old self again, and he was actually smiling a bit until Matty shot him a disapproving look and he tried to sober his expression just a bit.

It was after working hours, and the Ministry was deserted. They took the lift down to the bottom floor, where the Department of Mysteries was held and Sirius looked down the hall toward the court rooms, where he should have been taken for the trial he never had.

He shook his head a bit and followed Mad-Eye down to the Department of Mysteries.

"Do you know where the hall of prophecies is?" Matty asked. "Changing doors and all that."

"Yes," Tonks said. They were in the room with the changing doors they had discussed during meetings and Tonks waved her wand sharply and the doors rearranged themselves. She gestured to the door in front of her and smiled sweetly at Sirius. "After you."

The hall of prophecies was a certified mess. Something, or more likely, someone, had smashed well over half the prophecies, leaving broken glass and gargantuan toppled metal shelves all over the hall that Sirius knew without a doubt had once been an orderly, systematic records room. Matty's jaw dropped as they looked out at the damage.

"Harry?" Sirius called. "Merryn? Elle?"

There was no answer but eerie, uncomfortable silence. Not only were his children and godson not in that room, but no one else was, either.

"They've moved," Kingsley rumbled in a more tense voice than Sirius had ever heard him use. "They're somewhere else."

"It could take us hours to find them," Sirius said, feeling panic rise up like bile in his throat, threatening to choke him. "It could take us all day. They could be dead before-"

Matty walked right up to a door and opened it, much to Sirius's surprise.

"Mother's intuition," she said with a shrug. "Let's go."

Not really having a better option, the other Order members followed Matty into a large auditorium-style room with a veil on a dais in the center, and sure enough, there was a mass of dueling going on already. She'd been right.

None of them had to stop and think, such veterans they all were of this dueling battlefield, even though Matty and Sirius had been out of the game for such a long time. He rushed forward, dodging and deflecting spells as his eyes scanned the area for his girls and Harry, desperate.

"Elle!" a familiar voice shrieked. "Elle, help!"

Merryn.

Sirius's heart raced as he saw Merryn fall to the ground before some Death Eater he didn't bother taking the extra effort to recognize, her leg twisted in a position that made it obvious that it was broken, shrieking for her sister to help her.

"No!" Sirius cried, rushing forward and shooting a curse at the Death Eater that launched him back away from Merryn, who was still shrieking for her sister when Sirius came over and wrapped his arms around her, looking at her twisted leg.

"Daddy?" she gasped, looking woozy from pain. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, darling," he whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly. "I'm right here. I'm going to make sure you're okay. Does your leg hurt badly?"

"Yes," she whimpered, wrapping her arms around his neck and digging her nails into his skin, probably without even realizing.

"Merryn?" said the hoarse voice of Maëlle, who must have been screaming quite a lot. "Merryn, what happened to your leg? I found Uncle Remus, he said he'd help... _Daddy_?"

She threw her arms around him and Sirius could feel tears flowing down his face, that in the midst of the battle raging around them he was able to have this moment with his girls, to have them so close, and Remus was able to mend Merryn's leg well enough that Maëlle would be able to take her back out of the hall, which both Sirius and Remus insisted of the girls.

"I don't want anything to happen to you," Sirius whispered, trying not to cry any more. "I love you and if I lost you it would kill me."

The obviously wanted to protest, but in all the chaos of the battle and the shock of seeing their father distraught they did go out the way Sirius vaguely recalled coming in, and he became focused on finding Harry and getting him and the other students out of there before something truly horrible could happen.

Harry had Neville, who had a very nasty-looking nose-bleed going on. And Sirius only recognized him as Neville Longbottom because he looked just like a pudgier version of what Frank had been like at that age. It was almost surreal, like seeing James supporting a rather weightier Frank, but James was dead and Frank was good as, and Sirius couldn't afford to get too nostalgic in the heat of battle because his daughters were expecting to see him when he finished his objective and he couldn't afford to do anything stupid because he was lost in memories.

So he dueled his way over to them, fighting with everything in him, and including fighting the impulse to run after his girls and take them back to Grimmauld Place and lock them up there safely.

When he reached them he saw Harry's disconcerted face, a face full of expressions Sirius had seen on James's own face and a hardness he had seen in Lily's eyes before on the battlefield, and Sirius told Harry and Neville to get out of there, to go make sure that the girls were okay, to round the others up and leave, but of course, Harry didn't want to leave the fighting to the adults.

James to the core.

Well, a bit of Lily, too. She had been so stubborn any time anyone but Dumbledore told her she shouldn't fight, and especially stubborn if either Sirius or James was the one to say it to her, and about a hundred times more stubborn if both of them said it.

Even when she was pregnant.

No, especially when she was pregnant.

It was almost a miracle of sorts that Sirius hadn't had to go Matty's pregnancy with the girls like James had had to with Harry, the way Lily had gotten mental during it.

But Sirius was jolted out of those thoughts when some Death Eaters came their way and Sirius and Harry took them on side by side. Sirius could feel the blood rushing in his years, alive for the first time in longer than he could remember. This was a rush that nothing else could give him, not holding his daughters, not making love with Matty... nothing but the thrill of dueling. He would never had said as much to Matty, but she probably already knew how being in the thick of it was really the only way he felt properly alive.

Dodging, deflecting, sending everything he had, almost simultaneously, everything was happening so fast.

A properly good spell shot off from his side at one of the Death Eaters, ending that part of the duel and Sirius barked out his congratulations to James without a second though, instinct...

Because that was what he was fighting on in that moment, that's what he was living on and breathing with: pure instinct. It was a high and a rush so great that it could almost erase all the years of Azkaban entirely in just a matter of... Was it moments? Minutes? Hours? Did it even matter?

He saw a familiar, disgusting, hated face coming into view, dueling Matty and Sirius felt the very blood in his veins boil.

This wasn't going to happen.

Bellatrix was not going to hurt Matty, not now, not ever. He'd promised that. He'd all but promised that, and he wasn't just going to stand there and let such an utterly unfair and dangerous duel go on. He pushed himself forward, rushing toward his love and his wretched cousin, hoping that he made it in time, thrusting out his wand to put up a shield between them to protect Matty and draw Bellatrix's attention away from her.

It worked.


	29. Okay

**A/N: Thanks to **_**Forever Siriusly Sirius**_**, formerly **_**lizaluvsdoggies**_**, I'm up for a bunch of awards, including for this story! topic/44309/76958455/1/#77125655 PLEASE VOTE. Read the instructions. If you know of another story of mine you'd like to be nominated, throw that up there too! :D I'd really like for you guys to vote for me in January, especially because I'm not really big on the forums and that's probably the best way to get votes. I'm telling all my friends, but many of my readers aren't people I know irl, so I'd love you to spread the word! Also, if we're not up against each other, please vote for **_**Forever Siriusly Sirius**_** (formerly **_**lizaluvsdoggies**_**), so that we can thank her for this lovely opportunity!**

** ALSO, as I've told **_**FSS**_** as I'm now going to refer to her, this is the LAST CHAPTER of this story. There will be a sequel, of an as of yet undetermined name, and there will be a prequel about Matty and Sirius's time prior to Azkaban and whatnot... maybe even some of Matty's after that. We'll see! You have **_**FSS**_** to thank for that one, all her idea! LOVE YOU ALL. Thanks for reading this story, and please check out some of my other work! Keep your eyes peeled for more Matty/Sirius/twins stuff!**

** -C**

Matty could feel her heart pounding in her chest as Sirius put the shield up between her and Bellatrix, both thrilled that she didn't have to fear for her very right to breathe for just a second, giving her a moment to gather her thoughts once more, and then instantly horrified that Bellatrix had now rounded on Sirius.

It was difficult to focus on their duel too long because there was a small commotion and Matty realized that something very important had happened: Dumbledore had arrived.

It was over, Matty realized. Dumbledore was rounding up the Death Eaters. She watched, stunned, as he did it all with so much ease and grace, as though even the veterans that they all were from the first war were merely children playing at dueling. This was the real master, arrived to save them all.

And only Tonks had been seriously hurt. With proper medical care, she would be fine.

But then there came a sound that chilled Matty to the core and tore her out of her thrilled relief.

"Is that the best you can do?"

That mocking voice, that set of words...

She didn't even have to look to know what was happening, and when she did turn as she heard the cold voice of Bellatrix Lestrange utter the words of the Killing Curse she saw that they had somehow gotten to the dais already and she could see it almost happening in slow motion, Sirius disappearing into the veil, a laugh frozen on his face as he fell backward into it, gone.

Gone.

It wasn't Azkaban this time. It wasn't... it wasn't...

Gone.

It was gone.

And as the reality of what had just happened sank in and Bellatrix was hurrying off somewhere, Matty saw Remus holding back Harry from rushing to the veil and trying to somehow pull Sirius back out of it.

Harry was screaming, and Matty was screaming inside too, but not at Remus, not after Sirius.

At Dumbledore.

He'd kept Sirius caged up for that long year, kept the girls away, not kept either the girls or Sirius properly safe, and then he didn't even have the decency to arrive soon enough to trap Bellatrix with the other Death Eaters.

He let Sirius die.

He let Sirius be taken away from Matty, just as he'd let Caradoc be taken away, and Lily, and James, and... and...

Harry had broken free of Remus's hold and rushed not to the dais, obviously realizing by now that Sirius was... gone.

Instead, he ran after Bellatrix. Matty would have gone with him, helped him, except that she didn't have the energy to fight Bellatrix with any confidence, not when every bit of her was shaking, not when she felt so hollow.

Probably never again.

But she wished him the best and hoped he killed her and killed her slowly and painfully. What did it matter that he was just a boy still?

Sirius had killed for the first time not much older than Harry. And it was a brutal, vicious act.

But it was necessary, and it was deserved, and so was this and that was all Matty could think as she felt her knees giving out.

Kingsley caught her, and his voice said something rumbling and comforting and sweet and probably horribly inadequate, but she couldn't even hear him. She was still staring at the dais, still half-wishing Sirius would come back, even though she knew he wouldn't.

He was gone.

Gone.

Matty saw Remus and Albus approaching her, saw their mouths moving, heard words garbled with the distance of grief, and then she saw Remus's wand point at her, his had shaking slightly as Albus turned to follow after Harry.

She wanted to stop him, wanted to say no, but she wasn't really sure what he was doing as he held that shaking wand up to her face. And she couldn't form the thoughts, couldn't form the words.

For a horrible split second she thought he was going to modify her memories somehow, but how she hadn't quite worked out yet.

But that fear disappeared as she realized that wasn't happening as her body stopped moving and Kingsley let her slide toward the ground slowly, gently. The vision of the room around her blurred and she saw that Remus's hand was no longer shaking but completely twitching as the whole of the world faded and twisted and went black around her.

The last thought before she was overtaken by sleep and black was that she hadn't told him she loved him enough that day, that he should have been reminded properly before falling through that veil, because now it was too late.

He was gone.

/-/

Matty found herself waking up in what she recognized as an unused teacher's quarters from her own time at school when she and Sirius would sneak off and find corners like this with a bed for special nights like anniversaries to make love uninterrupted.

It was where they had made love on his seventeenth birthday.

And now he was gone.

She felt like she was about to be sick, but she couldn't tell whether it was that feeling of him being gone or the being awakened from being sedated magically, which usually did come with slight nausea.

But there was nothing slight about this feeling.

And there was Dumbledore, watching her with a perfectly neutral face, watching her as she felt as though she was about to retch, as she fought the urge to literally shred the bedding she was laying in and on.

"The girls?" she finally said hoarsely, managing to swallow back the bile in her throat.

"Maëlle is apparently a quiet prodigy at dueling and suffered only minor scratches," Albus said in an even, almost emotionless voice. "Merryn's leg was badly broken, but Remus fixed most of it and Poppy was able to fix it up very quickly when she was returned to Hogwarts. No permanent physical harm done."

No, but the emotional damage, the knowing that their father was gone and never coming back, that their mother was never going to be all right ever again...

They were old enough to understand that now, to understand why she hurt so badly all the time, that she would never be all right without their father.

And they were never, ever going to heal properly from that. No, those wounds would follow those girls for the rest of their lives.

Had the girls not been there, would Sirius have gone? Could they have talked him into staying at Grimmauld Place?

No, she didn't think so. Harry would have-

"Harry?" she said softly.

"Not well," Albus admitted. "Physically worse than he's been to my memory, but not incurable by any means. Emotionally... well. I suspect you and Harry would have quite a lot in common emotionally at the moment."

No.

No, even Harry could never understand because Harry hadn't loved him as Matty had. No one had ever loved Sirius as Matty had. And she could almost feel his breath on her neck and knowing that she would never feel that properly again hurt so much more this time than it had the first time. She wanted to die.

"Matea, you have your daughters to think of," Albus said gently. "And Sirius wouldn't want-"

"You don't have any right," she spat. "You have no right at all to tell me what Sirius would or wouldn't want. Not after you let this happen. You let this happen to me all over again. I will never forgive you for this."

He gave her a look with his blue eyes harder than she had ever seen them and she was sure that he was going to reprimand her for irrationally blaming him, but he said nothing for so long she wondered if the world had frozen. Finally, he spoke.

"I do not ask you to," he said finally, not gently as he had been, but harshly, as he had when she had tried to get herself killed by Bellatrix during the first war. "But this battle may be over, but the war has barely begun. Voldemort showed himself in the Ministry that night, he was seen by Cornelius and many others. The war has taken off and I need to know that I can trust you to fight with us going forward and not give up for your pain."

Matty wanted nothing more than to give up, but when she heard these words she realized what he was implying.

"Bellatrix," she rasped. "Bellatrix is still alive."

Albus inclined his head in the affirmative slightly, solemnly, almost by way of apology, the apology she had wanted so badly for Sirius's death.

But the thing he was truly sorry for, it seemed was not ridding her of the thing she feared more than Voldemort himself: Bellatrix Lestrange.

Matty didn't think she would ever sleep again.

Of course, the best she really could have hoped for was Azkaban, but Bellatrix had already been broken out once and Matty wasn't foolish enough to believe that it couldn't happen twice.

"Will you be able to fight this war, Matea?" Albus said softly, with a bit of urgency in his voice.

She could picture Sirius falling through that veil, so far gone that she had no body to bury, even. Then she saw Bellatrix's sneering face and her heart was seized with equal parts fear and fury.

"I have to," she said quietly.

Bellatrix needed to die, or Matty needed to die trying to do it, because there would be no peace for her if it went any way but that.

Albus watched her searchingly for a moment as if trying to discern her reasoning for her answer.

But he wouldn't have to think too hard about it, she knew. Sirius, Lily, James, Caradoc...

Everyone but Remus that she had cared about before the girls was gone, ripped from her. She had no choice but to fight because they would have never forgiven her for dropping the torch that they had lit with so much effort and determination.

He nodded then, telling her that the girls would be visiting her as soon as they were done with whatever it was they were up to at the moment and could be summoned to see her, and then she was really well enough to go, physically.

She managed to wait until he had left the room to let the tears fall, and then she cried them bitterly, completely, and violently with the hopes of dispelling all of them by the time the girls made it to see her at her bedside. But she couldn't tell if it made her feel better or worse, crying.

The girls came in not too long after, Merryn still wincing with each step on her left leg, Maëlle looking just as beautiful as she had before the battle.

"Mum," Merryn said softly, sitting down beside the bed. "How do you feel?"

The words fell out of Matty's mouth before she could stop them.

"Dead," she said. "I feel dead inside."

The girls exchanged worried, sad looks.

"Mum, Daddy's okay," Maëlle said. "That's how he would have wanted to go, you know. And now he's with Aunt Lily and Uncle James..."

Matty nodded numbly, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't want him to be happy in some sort of afterlife. She wanted him with her, living life, making love every night and making up for all those years they lost when he was in Azkaban.

"Remus is at the hospital," Merryn said softly. "Tonks... she's going to be okay, but he didn't want to leave her side. I think he likes her."

Leave it to teenage girls to take a tragic event and turn it into fodder for gossip. Matty might have smiled if she hadn't had her heart ripped out of her chest.

"So now what?" Matty finally said. "Where do we go? What do we do?"

The girls exchanged looks again.

"Did Professor Dumbledore not tell you?" Merryn asked. "Daddy's name's been cleared, so he's saying that we can change our names to his now, if we want. We want to, though, Mum."

"Yes, we do," Maëlle said quickly. "And I think we should go back to our old house. It wouldn't be the same at Daddy's house without him there."

"Elle, Professor Dumbledore said we have to stay there," Merryn said, annoyed. "If we don't claim the house it might go to his cousin, and that's bad, remember?"

Bellatrix.

As much as Sirius had hated Grimmauld Place, as much as Matty had grown to hate it for caging him and for suffocating him...

Bellatrix couldn't have the house. And Matty felt that the girls changing their name to Black seemed to be contingent on the keeping of that essential house in Order possession. She had, after all, promised to fight this war. She couldn't give up another battle so soon after losing (or was it winning?) the last.

"We'll get your names changed tomorrow," Matty said softly. "We won't live in Grimmauld Place if you don't want, but we will be keeping it if that's what your father's will said because the Order needs it and the war is still the most important thing."

She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself of that or the girls, but they just nodded obediently and sat there, watching her for a long moment. They seemed to want to ask something, but they just sat there, watching her, and Matty still felt very sick.

"Elle, could you get me some water from the pitcher?"

"Yes, Mum."

Matty took the water, and they continued to look at her. When she'd finished the class Merryn put it back on the table.

"Mum?" she said softly. "Can you tell us a story? Can you tell us about Daddy?"

She sighed, looking up at her daughter's eager faces. She didn't know if talking more about Sirius would be a positive or negative thing for her mental state, but the girls looked so desperate to know more and Matty couldn't keep them from something they wanted, especially when it had to do with Sirius. They had hardly any time with him, and they loved him so much. He loved them so much.

They had probably expected a story from when she was young, but Matty had one she thought would be much better.

"When I took you two to the train your first year," she said softly as the girls settled in, "your father was there, in disguise, wanting to get another glimpse of Harry before he went off to search for Peter Pettigrew at Hogwarts. He didn't know about you, but when he saw me with you he knew you had to be his. You look very much like his cousin. I never told you that..."

"What cousin?" Maëlle asked eagerly.

"Narcissa," Matty said, her mouth twisting again. "Neither of us had liked her very much, but thankfully she was always very pretty. It took a bit of the edge off you looking just like her. Anyway, he confronted me after I came back, told me the truth of everything. He wanted to know everything about you, wanted to tell me everything about what had really happened. We went to where we could figure out how to get to Peter Pettigrew as soon as possible once he'd convinced me." She smiled bitterly.

"Do you remember the first letter you wrote me from Hogwarts?" she asked the girls. They both nodded eagerly. "I was out buying food and things when it arrived, and Sirius had already read it when I got back. He'd... he'd cried. I could see his tearstains on it when I read it. He was so upset that he hadn't been there for you, that that had been taken away from him... I'd only seen him so upset once before, when he'd gotten the news that his brother had died. He loved you so, so much."

The girls sat there in silence for a moment.

"I'm going to miss him," Merryn finally said. "I've gotten so used to him being there that... now..."

"Yeah," Maëlle sniffed. "But it's going to be okay, isn't it Mum? Daddy loves us and he's still with us in spirit. We're going to win this war, and it's all going to be okay, isn't it?"

Matty looked up at her daughter with tears forming in her own eyes, thinking of the things Sirius would have regretted not saying, things he would be missing out on now that he was gone.

And she couldn't answer the question, no matter how she tried to find her voice, because what answer could she possibly give?


End file.
